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  14h Kalliope
Keegan
Some days,
it feels like I am outside myself
watching my child-self drown
beneath a skyless surface,
eyes wide, arms reaching,
and I, the adult,
do nothing but stare.

The water is still,
but heavy,
each second dragging me down,
each memory a stone.
My child-self drifts deeper,
hair flowing like seaweed,
a mouth open but silent,
watching the shape of me
blur in the distance.

I see the small hand
reaching upward
not angry,
not afraid,
just desperate
in a quiet, aching way.

And I,
frozen,
feel sorrow crack open
like a fault line,
a grief so old
it forgot how to scream.

I want to dive,
to pull them up,
but my feet won't move.
I don’t know why.

Maybe it’s too late.
Maybe I never learned how.
Maybe I believe I’m the one
who let them fall.

And still,
the hand rises,
the eyes search,
while I remain above,
a ghost
with lungs full of air
and a silence I can’t explain.
Kalliope 16h
A cleaner slate than ever,
All traces scrubbed away,
And while I can admit I was cowardly,
That’s something you’d never say.

I no longer crave your closure,
The whole picture’s clear to see,
It was never about my well-being
You just found someone else to please.

Which makes it extra ******,
Reaching out just to gloat,
You couldn’t leave me be,
Had to shove it down my throat.

It’s changed my whole perception
Of the soul I thought you had,
I believed all that interlinked *******-
So that’s my ******* bad.

Now you open another playbook,
Most likely filled with the same plays,
And I just have to laugh at myself-
That’s just the way of the game.
There's so many of you who personally reach out to me, which is sweet ❤️ so I'm gonna say in advance I am fine, I just feel very bitter today and I'll be back on the path to loving life again tomorrow ✨️
You are controlling
I'm rebellious by nature.
We're oil and water
Kalliope 22h
I knew that I’d feel silly
After I had some sleep,
Because honestly, you haven’t cared for awhile-
You’ve got a new woman to keep.

I can see your game now,
You just wanted to feel tall,
And the easiest way to do that
Was to make me feel real small.

It’s fine now, it’s whatever,
I’ve wasted tears for over a month.
You could’ve just ******* blocked me
The moment you knew I wasn’t enough.

But that wouldn’t fit your narrative
Of crazy exes to collect,
Still, I hope you’ve done some healing
So you don’t peak her anxiety next.

Isn’t it so funny,
The way these things go?
Life is just a simulation-
Trust, I’m not in your loop anymore
I went against my intuition but I knew it weeks ago when I saw her name, you guys will laugh when you read this and I will never doubt my gut again
Why’d you have to say goodbye?
I was doing fine.
I wasn’t really thinking about it,
There were no tears in my eyes.

Now I’m sitting here once again,
Crying about you,
Because even though I’m doing my best,
There was nothing I could do.

It’d be easier if I could just avoid
This feeling crashing down,
But you know I have to sit with it
Since I’ve been focused on healing now.

Once again my chest feels hollow,
My ribcage collapsing in,
I want off this emotional roller-coaster,
I just want one carnival game win.

I know tomorrow I’ll feel silly
For having held on this tight,
And I will never do this again,
Clearly my mind doesn’t process right.

It’s stupid how fast it hit me,
From just a single little text,
Now my progress feels erased,
And my heart’s a ******* mess.

I almost wish you’d stayed silent,
Kept your goodbye to yourself,
Because I was finally feeling better
Putting your memory back on the shelf.
I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that I'm still grieving or that I'm angry at myself for it.
I bleached my hair blonde chasing a version of me that no longer existed,

And was disappointed when I didn't become her.
Bold of me to crave her unhealthy mind simply because she was pretty.
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