I lay out the paper I pick up my pen I rattle my head again and again Yet nothing emerges, I draw a blank Just like this paper, all but blank This mind far from empty, my thoughts race Yet I can't get them down, can't find a pace This mind of mine, so sporadically poetic This mind of mine, equally pathetic.
Maybe it is the slow beats Humming from my headset Maybe it is the nap I took today Maybe it is the painting I look at Reminding me every day of you Reminding me to take breaks Never end it Take breaks Never end it You left I never got to say good bye Now I do it everyday I was angry It is ok I was angry And It is ok I am allowed to be ******* Even though your six feet under Well, there are ashes from what I know I didn't get any Odd, yes I wanted some Something to have , to look at Something to register With the grey that is within Something to look at And know this is real It still doesn’t feel real How can it not ? After 3 years I look at pictures I hear music Your words are still in my head I know you will be ok You are strong Everyone tells me I am strong Yes I am Yes Do I always want to be No No No Can someone reach into the depth of me Set me free Allow me to longer be In grief In grief Still can’t believe Still can’t believe You left me You left me Spare me the story Of the pain We all have some I am not going anywhere Even though some days I feel you calling me To join you No I won’t I won’t I am strong I still want to cry Is that okay ? Yes that is okay I want to rewind Rewind to that one day You told me how you were feeling I didn't really listen Now my ears are wide open With silence You bring me silence I know you would have anyway I know you would have anyway Have to tell myself all the time It doesn’t stop me from wishing I had said something Something Even though I know you would have anyways
A poem, a conversation in my head about the death by suicide of my best friend
Easier to drown in your sorrows, Then to resurface and breathe, Sometimes it’s good to be mellow, Then to be bright and green, Better be lost in mass of crowds, Then squirming in attention, Shielded in the darkest Conner, Lighting hurts my inner peace, Easier to drown in your sorrows, Then to resurface and breathe
A question? A response. He leads her onto the floor. A thought? A wonder. "It's crazy how someone-i(m)p(e)rfect-could feel so perfect in this moment." A move? A dance. He sways her into his arms. A desire? A plea. "If only he realized-finally- that I only wanted this moment." A pause? An end. She sighs...
A question? A response. He lead her onto the floor. An action? An excitement. He didn't even know. A move? A dance. She wanted to be in his arms. A smile? A plea. She only wanted this. A pause? An end. Thank you...
I believe this was written around July, 2017, but this project started months earlier than that.