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Miesha 3d
Insecurity

breeds like vines

hugging the

parts of me

I try to set

free.
When everyone around you is a better writer than you. How does one keep up?  Why bother?
Ray Dunn Apr 8
Ah, what a life for me!
Everything and nothing—
both to the extreme!
I need to write more I’ve fallen off the wagon
his words destroy me
he beats me till i'm blue
he knows i want to be free
he's stuck to me like glue

he stands on top of me when i'm down
even though he knows that i can't breathe
he swallows me up until i drown
his abuse is killing me

he laughs at me when i fall
when he's the one doing the tripping
he never lets me stand tall
its my self esteem that he's gripping

he tells me only lies
i have no choice but to listen
he tells me i'm growing a size
now my health's under demolition

he says nobody really likes me
he says i'm ****** and i'll fail
he laughs at every hopeful plea
he says i'll break my scale

he beats me till i'm black and blue
then he laughs if i bleed
i'm starting to think that it's all true
now i know i can't be freed
This isn't about being actually abused! This is about what anxiety disorder tells me every day.
Alima Tekeyeva Apr 2018
How to put your emotions in a box and lock it.

First step,
Find directions to the rabbit hole.
Follow it deep into its darkness,
Make a trip out of it.

Second step,
Remember salvation is found,
At the bottom of a bottle.
Spoiler alert...it’s not water.

Third step,
Get ****** up,
Look in the mirror,
And question this thing staring back at you.

Fourth and final step,
Repeat,
Repeat until you hit rock bottom.
That’s where you find freedom.
Jessica Jarvis Feb 2018
A question? A response.
He leads her onto the floor.
A thought? A wonder.
"It's crazy how someone-i(m)p(e)rfect-could feel so perfect in this moment."
A move? A dance.
He sways her into his arms.
A desire? A plea.
"If only he realized-finally-
that I only wanted this moment."
A pause? An end.
She sighs...

A question? A response.
He lead her onto the floor.
An action? An excitement.
He didn't even know.
A move? A dance.
She wanted to be in his arms.
A smile? A plea.
She only wanted this.
A pause? An end.
Thank you...
I believe this was written around July, 2017, but this project started months earlier than that.

Dancing is a motif of mine...
Em or Finn Feb 2018
I'm sorry ...
Sorry for letting everyone
Walk all over you
Like a piece of trash

Sorry for making you feel like trash
As if you're nothing more
Than a *****
To the life I've made for you

Sorry that you cry
When the anxiety becomes too much
But sorry that I hide it
The second someone comes that could help

I'm sorry
That I made someone like you
Not want to live
With anxiety
Like a *****
Like a piece of trash

Like a human being
What I feel talking to myself right now would be like ...
M Jan 2018
My body is numb, completely soulless,
The words in my head escaped
floating around cause i forgot to close it
I could've avoided this
Instead I'm stuck with my choices
These days all i do is deal with the
Consequences and repercussions
Hitting me twice as hard than in the moment,
What do you expect? I'm only human--
I enjoy a drink or two it's not a secret
I was drawn to you but i should've followed
The vibes i got from you the first day
Let **** pass because i didn't want to upset you
You pushed me away
Then try to keep me inside your pocket..
That's when i put myself first,
Gave myself happiness
I created it, i prayed for it, i worked for it,
i try my hardest to keep it..
And you roll around with lies to trap me
Inside your spider web,
You lean forward for a kiss
That's when i said no..
So quickly you apologized
I should've left should've never waited
Should've walked out that door
& never looked back
At least then i wouldn't feel these
knots Inside my abdomen ,
Creating an ulcer that's stressin me out
Dealin with you and your families harassment..
Every day you try to reach out
I don't want your words
I just want to be left alone
You hurt me in the worst way possible
I was a friend and you took advantage..
I can't escape you, and you're deliberately
Breaking me down more and more
Is this what happens when i say no?
Did i owe you some part of me?
Is that why you took it upon
Yourself to take it?
I just need some answers since
I'm the one stuck with this.
-M.
It's a depressing night. I'm alone.

Remember my first entry, that I couldn't express myself? It translated through my writings.

It's hard, really. It's my first ever contest and I don't want to waste the opportunity given. But you see, it's hard to imagine yourself fighting a war you know you will loose.

Some may say, at least you fought trying. Well EFF that. It matters most and it's sentimental if you fought for something you truly love, but in my case it isn't. I love my org but never this genre.

Maybe I could, but time wouldn't permit.

I could try another genre where I could say I could fight my best and I could do my all to really best all the contestants. At least by this genre I could feature my very best. Winning or loosing, it will really matter because it's what I like.

There's a big difference.

And I thought a leader could talk me out through this depressing state, with all the expertise and experience.

But I think not.

He is with me on the notion of quitting. I guess it truly is the right decision. Who knows?

Give me a moment of silence and I couldn't defend myself. Give me encouragement and conversation; and maybe, just maybe, I could try and weigh things out and be the selfless and just contestant everyone is thinking of.
I was so depressed that night that I wrote this.
Absent Minded Oct 2016
So many regrets from just 19 years,
So many things that have given me fears.
So many problems at the end of the day,
And when the time for help comes
I don't got **** to say.
Lot of ****** in my place would've ******* left,
But I had to prove that I was the best of the best.
Shouldn't of given up the red apple, for the berry,
Now I feel broken, starving and scary.
I see myself and think,
"Do I look happy? What's been lost?
If I end it all, what would be the cost?"
Baby on the way, and I don't know how to think.
Every time I think of it my heart ******* sink.
I don't know if I'm gonna make it through,
Honestly lately I've been feeling blue.
Depressions beating me with a stick,
And it's a catastraphe.
A tragedy, really.
Cuz at the end of the day, when the light goes out,
The regrets charge in on horses, dismount,
They stab my heart, head and soul without
Any sign of remorse.
I ride through life on a crippled horse,
Head up like a hero,
But minds turning to ground zero,
Because I can't feel no
Emotions or thoughts but what I've lost.
I wonder what she'd do if she knew how I felt,
But I'm too scared to find out so I'm tying the belt,
Round my throat.
Try to breathe and gulp down the acidic air.
This isn't fair,
It's like fighting a bear with a pair of mittens,
A twig, a boot and a pear.
I can't bring myself to say I hate this kid,
But I hate my life, what I will do,
And what I did.
I don't love her as much as I used to,
Hopefully the baby will bring a boost, too.
Feeling like a *****,
Trapped in a cage,
Forced to wear beige to blend in.
Don't talk back or question,
Because she'll cry,
So lay down and rest in your sorrows.
Try to keep in mind that any day you could die.

Hopefully, tomorrow.
Been struggling with my own personal demons as my relationship, new job, and baby.
Leave feedback, good or bad.
Look up sugar
&
Let your walls down.
-
Let my passion caress
your mind,
as you wear my poetry
out on your skin.
-
Let these words induce
salacious thoughts;
with each adjective &
every verb intensifying
your desires.
-
Just lay down,
as my love lifts you higher,
and higher,
until we reach the sun.
Love aint' never looked so good on ya'
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