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Mayah Seals Mar 2022
Exhaustion. Like a frieght train that rattles me to my core, as blistering as the tunnel it travels.
This wind whistles and chills my bones.
Who am I?
Elated and deflated. I shake and scorch the land with each footfall of a once great sun.
This fire now blazes and burns my veins.
Who am I?
A never ending search on the journey to who I wish to be.
Leaving petals in my wake. Most beautiful petals; with the most poisionous tears.
Who am I?
Peace and Tranquility. I seek it in and out as a drug to calm the raging storms behind my lost eyes.
Who am I?
Droplets and storms. Caressing my face and tending to the raging flames.
Their waves wash away the leaking poisons and catch the raging winds where gentle rivers float my spirit away.
Until one day I land upon
Who I am.
Beautiful cleansing rains
Eyithen Sep 2021
A thumb flicks repetitive across the screen.
Scrolling.
Images of faces, targeted ads and mundane art.

A random couple standing on the beach.
I pause for them.

His toad like appearance distorts my face,
One nostril scrunching up in displeasure at the belly that sticks out rounding into his chest so you can’t tell where his torso starts and ends, while a pair of swim trunks desperately attempt to cling to a skeletal waist.

Her body is normal aside from the concave stomach and the ***** that had clearly been poked at, flayed away, reshaped into an over exaggerated spherical shape.

Two figures clearly trying and failing to force their bodies to reject their aging fate, but they succeed in looking less human, and more like that of distorted dreams. Their skin is too dark, slicked up with oil, and all I can think of is when leather for skin became fashionable.

Their bodies are theirs to do as they please, but this new species of seal takes away the beauty of the water kissing the shore and I find the thought of these distorted figures mar my vision of the beach into a sour taste.

I can only assume its attention they want with the transaction they made: her youth for his money.
So tell me, is it not within my right to judge?
Is it?

I scold myself for being quick to judge with my eyes
though I cannot find myself to be sorry;
For they have clearly invested in their outwardly appearance.
For the sake of themselves or others who is to say?
But they parade through sand exposed, out on display.
Inspired by a random picture
I lay out the paper
I pick up my pen
I rattle my head again and again
Yet nothing emerges, I draw a blank
Just like this paper, all but blank
This mind far from empty, my thoughts race
Yet I can't get them down, can't find a pace
This mind of mine, so sporadically poetic
This mind of mine, equally pathetic.
Kelly Mistry Aug 2020
“He looks homeless”
“Can she speak English?”
“It’s hard to take her seriously”

These thoughts have always been with me
Steeped into my thoughts
Into my beliefs
Into my actions

They hide around the corners of my mind
Always part of the background
Or they are front and center
Impossible to unsee

Sometimes I can label them in the moment
Classist
Racist
Sexist

Sometimes I can only see their influence with the distance of time
Or through another’s eyes

Where do they come from
How do they shape me
How do they shape everyone around me

How much of my essence is mine?
How many of my thoughts originate outside of me?

I think I’ll never fully know

All I can do
All we can do

Is label
Set aside
And look again
Mary Shanti Feb 2020
Maybe it is the slow beats
Humming from my headset
Maybe it is the nap
I took today
Maybe it is the painting I look at
Reminding me every day of you
Reminding me to take breaks
Never end it
Take breaks
Never end it
You left
I never got to say good bye
Now I do it everyday
I was angry
It is ok
I was angry
And It is ok
I am allowed to be *******
Even though your six feet under
Well, there are ashes from what I know
I didn't get any
Odd, yes I wanted some
Something to have , to look at
Something to register
With the grey that is within
Something to look at
And know this is real
It still doesn’t feel real
How can it not ?
After 3 years
I look at pictures
I hear music
Your words are still in my head
I know you will be ok
You are strong
Everyone tells me I am strong
Yes
I am
Yes
Do I always want to be
No
No
No
Can someone reach into the depth of me
Set me free
Allow me to longer be
In grief
In grief
Still can’t believe
Still can’t believe
You left me
You left me
Spare me the story
Of the pain
We all have some
I am not going anywhere
Even though some days
I feel you calling me
To join you
No
I won’t
I won’t
I am strong
I still want to cry
Is that okay ?
Yes that is okay
I want to rewind
Rewind to that one day
You told me how you were feeling
I didn't really listen
Now my ears are wide open
With silence
You bring me silence
I know you would have anyway
I know you would have anyway
Have to tell myself all the time
It doesn’t stop me from wishing
I had said something
Something
Even though I know you would have anyways
A poem, a conversation in my head about the death by suicide of my best friend
Nolan Patterson Jan 2020
Painfully loud my mind screams
Searching for an end to means
The chaos tries to bubble out of my mouth

Thousands of words form at once
Nothing seems to come but nonsense
Faster and faster my thoughts race
Throbbing pain, the only trace

All I want to do is yell
Yet there isn't anyone to tell
So maybe it's best I stay silent
Until my mind is not hell bent
Since it seems it's not possible to repent
Ray Dunn Apr 2019
Ah, what a life for me!
Everything and nothing—
both to the extreme!
I need to write more I’ve fallen off the wagon
his words destroy me
he beats me till i'm blue
he knows i want to be free
he's stuck to me like glue

he stands on top of me when i'm down
even though he knows that i can't breathe
he swallows me up until i drown
his abuse is killing me

he laughs at me when i fall
when he's the one doing the tripping
he never lets me stand tall
its my self esteem that he's gripping

he tells me only lies
i have no choice but to listen
he tells me i'm growing a size
now my health's under demolition

he says nobody really likes me
he says i'm stupid and i'll fail
he laughs at every hopeful plea
he says i'll break my scale

he beats me till i'm black and blue
then he laughs if i bleed
i'm starting to think that it's all true
now i know i can't be freed
This isn't about being actually abused! This is about what anxiety disorder tells me every day.
Alima Tekeyeva Apr 2018
How to put your emotions in a box and lock it.

First step,
Find directions to the rabbit hole.
Follow it deep into its darkness,
Make a trip out of it.

Second step,
Remember salvation is found,
At the bottom of a bottle.
Spoiler alert...it’s not water.

Third step,
Get ****** up,
Look in the mirror,
And question this thing staring back at you.

Fourth and final step,
Repeat,
Repeat until you hit rock bottom.
That’s where you find freedom.
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