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Jan 2021 · 257
It's Raining
Kalliope Jan 2021
Today I will cry
For the you that I wanted
For the you that I saw
For the you that you are
For the you that I loved
For the us that will never be
Jan 2021 · 178
2190
Kalliope Jan 2021
How do you learn to be alone
When you were with me
For all my milestones
How do you move on
When the pain
Is so intertwined
With the pleasure
How do you leave
When what your heart wants
Is to stay
How do you stay when you know that you can't
Jan 2021 · 268
Tonic
Kalliope Jan 2021
And in times when she felt so
Alone
Unlovable
Overbearing
She had friends to fight along
Her side
Platonic love is valuable
Jan 2021 · 96
panic
Kalliope Jan 2021
Frantic and crazy
Everything happens to me
Calm and relaxed
Everything happens for a reason
In the moment vs reflection
Dec 2020 · 911
Pixelated
Kalliope Dec 2020
What do you do when you don't
Want to break a heart
But the heart in question
Cant actually be broken
Its a facade
Created to break you
Over and over
Again
Block out all emotions
Dec 2020 · 693
Third Degree
Kalliope Dec 2020
Never will I learn
To stay away from fire
Aware that I will be burned
Yet still I crave its heat
Pass the alocane please
May 2019 · 371
Out of Ink
Kalliope May 2019
Just a pen and a cap
Made perfectly for each other
Fitting together tightly
But the cap has been chewed on
And no longer fits
Just like plastic
Apr 2019 · 318
Through the Motions
Kalliope Apr 2019
So I cut my hair
And changed my barbells
Switched out my hoop
And bought new clothes
Rearranged my room
Changed shampoos
But still I feel the same
Apr 2019 · 320
Unorganized
Kalliope Apr 2019
I don't write very well
I can't find a flow
All over the pages
Every word goes

I don't write very well
The words don't make sense
Sometimes it feels better
To write in past tense

I don't write very well
But I need to express my emotions
And separate my thoughts
From this world's commotions
Apr 2019 · 538
Epidermal Regeneration
Kalliope Apr 2019
I thought new hands on my skin
would burn
My skin is healthier than ever
I don't feel your fingerprints anymore
Apr 2019 · 196
No Measuring Cups
Kalliope Apr 2019
I fell so easily
Into your mold
What I thought would be warm
Is now so cold
I set the oven
To 300 hundred degrees
The only thing I feel now
Is your bitter freeze
You didn't follow the recipe
Mar 2019 · 532
Seasonal
Kalliope Mar 2019
Temperature rising
I feel I can breathe
Express my emotions
Be happy, at ease
Finally able to think clearly
Feb 2019 · 422
12 feet
Kalliope Feb 2019
Deeper and deeper the further I go
There's no light around me
No room left to grow
My mind is uncertain
My heart set in stone
Deeper and deeper and further from home
Jan 2019 · 322
Relapse
Kalliope Jan 2019
Every one knows cigarettes and liquor
Are temporary
Rough *** and late drives end as quickly as they began
You stop tripping and rolling once you wake up
How foolish of me to think you were forever
I got a tattoo instead.
Jan 2019 · 891
Kay
Kalliope Jan 2019
Kay
Perpetually lost
Figuratively stuck
Exhaustingly overworked
Disgustingly underpaid
Literally confused
Effortlessly cliche
Beautifully me
Sometimes it be like that
Jan 2019 · 378
Through Time
Kalliope Jan 2019
You've got an idea of what life is
What your life should be
It's always been there
Since you were 8
Creating the future with barbies and sims

You turn 15
Your view changes
You're gonna be cool parents
With tattoos and leniency
Married to the guy you just met
You're so in love

You turn 18 now
You decide you don't want this life
Or any life
If it's not the life you pictured
It can't be a happy one
So you pull away from all the things that made you happy

You just turned 28
Surrounded by friends
A decent job
You're smiling, laughing
Reminiscing even
Only remembering the good
Life's weird y'all
Jan 2019 · 217
Frosted Flakes
Kalliope Jan 2019
I miss Sunday mornings
On the couch with coffee
After a long Saturday night
Spent with nicotine and your body

I miss your t-shirts on my skin
With nothing covering yours
Your head on my lap
Just ignoring all our chores

I miss riding in your car
Cozy in the passenger seat
Windows down music loud
Soaring down the street

I miss the day I left
Fighting over how it all began
Lighting up my cigarette
Promising you could be a better man
It was hard to walk away
But I knew we wouldn't get better
I'm sorry I couldn't stay
Jan 2019 · 4.4k
My Flamingo
Kalliope Jan 2019
I hope your new life is free
Cool breezes
No stress
I hope you stretch your legs
With no worries
Your pond full of shrimp
Your heart full
I bet your feathers
Are positively pink
And always fluffed
Admiring your admirers
And I hope you know
While you hangout with your flamingo flock
Forgotten, you are not
I miss you
Jan 2019 · 1.6k
Blue Roses
Kalliope Jan 2019
The new year is never happy for me
It marks a new year without you
Another month without a gathering
Another week without a lunch outing
And another day without a phone call

I talk to you still
Less often than when you first left
But every new year I'm sure to catch you up
The kids have gotten so big
My parents have finally matured

I've finally grown up
Can make responsible decisions
Not living purely on my emotions
All of this growth stems from you

It hurts my heart knowing you'll never see any of it
You exist one minute and are nothing the next
Jan 2019 · 573
Sea Salt and Vinegar
Kalliope Jan 2019
I'm just a bitter soul
In love with love
And my idealizations
I see your potential
Know what you could be
Push you to be your best
Know what we could be
But at the end of the night
That's not you
And my inbox is still empty
Jan 2019 · 206
No Vacancy
Kalliope Jan 2019
With an open palm
And out stretched arm
You grasp my hand
But once again you take no weight
Intertwine your fingers with mine
Make my heart skip beats
Just long enough to transfer
Your demons
They play well with mine
I've got no space
I'm filled to the max
I take them anyway
With my heart in cracks
You're never here for me
But I can't tell you no
Jan 2019 · 973
Static
Kalliope Jan 2019
I love knowing what red feels like
How painful blue can be
The sting of green
Even the bitterness of jet black

I love myself on days of lilac
And question myself on nights of turquoise
But I can't visualize this empty
My heart hurts
Nov 2018 · 448
Whiskey Day Dreams
Kalliope Nov 2018
I want to forget what I said
But I want to remember how it feels
Nov 2018 · 316
Uno
Kalliope Nov 2018
Uno
Your promises mean nothing
Your words the same
Not quite lies
But never truthful
I don't know how to play this game
You've got me beat
For once I'll say it
I surrender
You win
A handful of cards I don't understand
You have one and know just when to play
Nov 2018 · 339
Deep Blue
Kalliope Nov 2018
All the ways I try to fill the void
Seem to make me empty

Funny how shallow needs
Create a shallow soul
I'll continue to sink lower and lower
Oct 2018 · 320
Bright Orange
Kalliope Oct 2018
With heavy eyes
And stiff bones
I say goodbye
To what was once
A home
I am afraid
I have to go
A brand new road
To be travelled alone
I won't forgot
All those good times
We had on late nights
And cheap moonshine
In my heart
I'll forever hold
As I say goodbye
To who was once a home
Your freckle placements are forever etched into my mind
Oct 2018 · 327
Mental Apartment
Kalliope Oct 2018
Everyday I come home
I eat dinner at
My table of selfpity
To watch old memories play on
My television of self doubt
Showering in jealousy and hate
Finally forcing sleep on
My bed of loneliness
Self destructive
I can't stop
Unproductive
I'm just a prop
Oct 2018 · 424
Spiteful
Kalliope Oct 2018
It must be beautiful to not be jealous
To just feel happiness
And joy for others
Not that small pain
In your stomach
The little shocks
In your brain
The ache
In your heart
Help me please
Or I'll have to leave
My brain won't ease
I don't know what to believe
Oct 2018 · 634
Head Case
Kalliope Oct 2018
If I could sit you down and make you understand my mind I would
I want to love you
I want to be loved by you
It's not that easy
Relationships are a love triangle
You, me, and my brain
My intrusive thoughts don't know when to shut up
A protective friend
A possessive ex
Always there
Hard to ignore
Eventually you'll grow tired of them popping up
But they can't be blocked
Can't put a restraining order on my mind
Just take my hand
And take some time
Tell me you love me
And it will all be fine
Oct 2018 · 225
Abort Mission
Kalliope Oct 2018
You can be full of life
Bursting with it
Growing hope inside you
Nauseous with happiness
Heart beating with uncertainty

It takes 5 minutes to strip it away
One choice
One decision
To throw you into a lifetime of
Pain and over thinking
Little sacrifices cause big waves
Oct 2018 · 526
Brain Blocked
Kalliope Oct 2018
I feel you trying to love me
I see the effort
I feel the effort
It hurts my heart
I'm too ashamed
Too many skeletons
Too many sins
More secrets than I'd care to share
I think you'd accept me
Take me as I am
The issue isn't you
I'm ashamed to be so
Stained
Standing next to your
Immaculate existence
You know when someone deserves better
Oct 2018 · 186
Conscience Whispers
Kalliope Oct 2018
I'm stuck in my head
Can't get out of bed
You leave me on read
You don't care what I said

I can't feel love
Not even heaven above
Your hearts I will shove
I'm someone to dispose of

It's all good and well
My hopes have all fell
My soul I will sell
I'm going to hell
Some deals are made to stop pain
Oct 2018 · 279
Overthinking Overdose
Kalliope Oct 2018
Surrounded by people I love
Never quite sure if they love me
Not sure I'd believe that they did

Surrounded by people who care
Never quite sure if it's true
Not sure I can confide in them

Surrounded by my own thoughts
Never quite sure why they're so mean
Not sure I can disagree with them

Surrounded by pain and trauma
Never quite sure who to tell
Not sure they would stay after
I live in my head
Jul 2018 · 240
Off Balance
Kalliope Jul 2018
Better off now than I ever was
Better space, better place

Richer now than I ever was
Richer space, richer place

Safer now than I ever was
Safer space, safer place

Lonelier now than I ever was
Lonely space, lonely place
Everyone disappears when you're doing good
May 2018 · 477
Winnie the Pooh Overalls
Kalliope May 2018
My mother is stronger everyday
Or maybe she's always been
This way
And I'm just now paying attention.

Maybe I'm just now seeing her daily struggles
Understanding her pain
Past and present.

Just now noticing how having a baby
At 16
Changes you forever
Never knowing who she could have been.

Always knowing I ruined chances at her dreams
Not that she would ever say that
But I did.

Every day passing seeing her more tired than yesterday
Working constantly since I can remember
Always being the supporter.

Just now wondering if she ever wonders who will support her
Or how we will function
Without her.

We won't.
It took me 20 years to appreciate my mother
And I'll never take her for granted again.
Our mom's were people before us, and still are someone, aside from a mother, and I don't think we realize that.
May 2018 · 322
Self Destruction
Kalliope May 2018
Every time I get closer
to my goal
I feel myself slipping further
into a hole,
I just want to be a success
But my bad side won't give it a rest.
May 2018 · 401
Guarded in Different Ways
Kalliope May 2018
It's a shame you don't understand
***,
How unfortunate that I can't understand
Love.
Apr 2018 · 370
Winter Mint
Kalliope Apr 2018
You chewed me up and spit me out
Like the piece of gum you chew
After a cigarette.

She doesn't even know
You started smoking
Again.
Apr 2018 · 246
Shut Out
Kalliope Apr 2018
When you wouldn't hear my words
I tried to show you with my actions,
You just stopped looking at me.
Open your eyes please
Apr 2018 · 235
Ritalin Realizations
Kalliope Apr 2018
Once I wanted to be a party girl,
Now I just wanna be your girl.
Apr 2018 · 258
Faulty Limbic Systems
Kalliope Apr 2018
I've shown you all my favorite things,
But you never remember.

I could tell you something yesterday
And you'd act like it had been forever.
You don't remember trivial things about people you don't love.
Apr 2018 · 398
An Addictive Personality
Kalliope Apr 2018
Large doses of you
Were never good for me,
But, I've always loved to
Push my limits.
Apr 2018 · 682
Brittle Bones
Kalliope Apr 2018
If you broke my arm
I'd still ask you to sign my cast,
And that is why
I must go.
Apr 2018 · 5.9k
The Never Ending Cycle
Kalliope Apr 2018
Every time I get comfortable
Without you
You show up again.

Every time I get used to sleeping
By myself
You crawl into my bed.

Every time I fall in love
With you,
You leave me again.
The way we love hurts my heart.
Apr 2018 · 379
They're Blue
Kalliope Apr 2018
I don't know what it feels like to be someone's first choice.
To be a priority.
To be special to someone.
I'm tired of aching for things
That I won't receive.
I'm tired of hurting for people
Who can't even remember
What color my eyes are.
My heart hurts.
Apr 2018 · 276
Dumb and Dumber
Kalliope Apr 2018
Each time you call me dumb
I believe you
a little bit more.
I'm dumb
for loving someone
Who is not capable of
loving me back.
Apr 2018 · 357
Habits Die Hard
Kalliope Apr 2018
I say I attract toxic,
Deep down I think
I crave it.
Apr 2018 · 262
Friday Night Routines
Kalliope Apr 2018
Restless and stressed over things
I cannot control
I wish I could stand back
And look at things as a whole.
My father always said I could never see the big picture.
Apr 2018 · 369
friENDships
Kalliope Apr 2018
I've got pictures living in my phone
Of people I haven't checked on in years,
It's weird how long I've been alone.
Kalliope Apr 2018
I tried to disappear a few times,
You always found me.
I don't know if that makes me
Love or hate you.
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