Words spinning around
I'm now in the labyrinth of my head

reminiscing my first kiss with whom I barely know
in her room half naked
She says nothing, but her thought are as if they're hand in hand to mine

electrocuting every fibre of my body
I feel hazy about the times I spent with her,
yet I vividly remember every words she had spoken

She now speaks bout a little river she used to go with her first love, but when will she tell me the words?

I see now, I see that her fire was put out

As the sun beams creep under my skin
this unfrequented place
to find some ease
- ease to the body some, -
trembles to the beat
unknown

Time past, and
what once I was and what am now
has given birth to
a long lost youth
who's bound to
be ascended
in all flames
at once
at last

from Heaven foretold
twice by an Angel,
who once trapped and caught

She's constantly trying
to communicate something incommunicable,
to explain something inexplicable,
to tell about something
she feels every day,
only to make her
vanish
into the labyrinth of her thoughts
endlessly
yet she's a communicator
who shares every trifles of her moments
with clouds above

Those lights
that guide you home and ignite your bones
are
something inherently valuable
but
being a misfit
has been told you
that you tend to be wrong

It also told you
that those lights never easy to find
but
they never gets lost
once they're found

Now
they are
the one that got away.

I have seen roses bloomed,
red and white,
but no such roses see I her in her eyes
and in some perfumes is there more delight

If snow be white
yellow neon lights grow on her
If the moon smiled the horizon sits on me
like wuthering heights,
titled and shifted,
a series of promises steps forward

Weighing the pale sky with a transparent colour
I've found myself with my head
possessed by an inhuman hunger
to a girl with the enigmatic mind,
affixed to mine

I can feel it trying
to funnel my heart thro'
bending back and forth
only to make a space,
a sense of solitary absence,
unwarmed by the sweet air drove by her o'mouth
and it keeps swinging around

It fled through my fingers the hollow leans on me
wi' thy gone.

She is of the opinion that the way to get out
of feeling stuck or dragged in life is
to turn off all lights off in her room
and ****** Fall Out Boy songs
by playing on repeat.

She glows
when silence becomes as a whole
and fritters away every morning;
the hues and harmonies
of unfrequented places
floating

The foretold stories of her hums
to her heartbeat
as to sync with her departed smile
it seems to move such a scope
for hope
from Clouds of Atlas
only to cauterise all in flames.

Time past,
and comes last in sight
when she is at ease
and those unseen awful thoughts in her mind
wane away

Her body stumbles and her words fumble
like life and fear equal shadows
of used things-

Doubt,
that she is.

In an ocean of thoughts
I gasped for my last breath.

I was a dead city then
and I am a city of brisk air now.

In a matter of fact,
I'm ascending
to be someone else.

I was a runaway girl in light clothes
and cigarettes was the thought that I cling to
but I started caring about you and it all became a dust of ashes
just like everything else turned to shy.

when mad girls are gone singing love songs
a lonely lass
whose eyes and lips dead shut
lost in a big fat gigantic mess

she lit a cigarette up and all is born again
to put up with the thing she's done
to remind her of who she was
and to take her mind off
like an ocean takes the ***** sands
like an empty bottle takes the rain
like an nuclear bomb takes clear air
like the scars takes time to heal

the world seems to drop dead
mad girls are gone to hit the road
a swift wind from the barley caresses her body
all the stars go waltzing out in black and white
and all the odds left within

with the right touch of shyness
and kindness
that rushes through my brain
as well as your brain
we found each other

nothing seems to be impossible

every night
before i go to sleep
i ask myself
why the hesitation
what paused me to be loved?

that kind of synchronicity
if it exists
between two hearts
why "what-ifs" and tons of question marks?

if there's anything left
it's an uncanny complicity  
of ecstasy
in my bloodstream
cause i have two palpitating hearts
cause i took yours in me.

There was once 'attraction' in between my heart
; Not-a-day-goes-by phrase is overused in our fashion, yes?

I lost count, how much I remember 'us'?
; having a faith on you has failed somehow.

The perks of being-alone is none.

My-heart-without-chains started gradually burning my insides.

My destination has changed, to neverwhere.

I started muttering words after you.

Here's a story of a hopeful little girl with big hazel eyes and big dreams about the world and now she's grown up.

You go like,
"Don't share too much." but
She go like,
"Sometimes, it's not okay to
not share the tears that fall at 2 am,
staying up all night,
thinking about the person who once shared everything with.
Or the malicious thoughts that run through your head
every time you close your eyes,
just lying steady in your bed."
And then you go, again,
"but still it's you who get hurt through the process, don't you care about others like me?"
She go like,
"No, I'd crumbling away like a sandcastle but it doesn't mean that the castle never been on the sand, does it?"

After 7 years, she still thought of the day but regret not to be fully honest with the boy cause today one year ago was the day he committed.

You meant "us" but "in love", oh.

I shot myself with broken minds.

You could've stopped me from crookedness.

I sent condolences
to the future I'll never fortunate
to have
and I wished it good luck
for the doors that had opened up.
It didn't matter how it all begun 'cause,

The little lie became one in chucks, it robbed my nature and
kept whispering me that I had to make something
to amend myself somehow
but
I, who lost its soul so long that I couldn't looked up the stars in the sky and
told them to push the real pain away from the darkest corner of my mind.
On the ledge, I started laughing
until it numbed my jaws and made me look alike a frowned crown.
I was 'it'.

As I lit up my cigarette I thought
of that uncertainty life gives us so that the art of living wouldn't be dull
but
I know it is just only waning, waning away and nothing else.

Am I reaching end of tether?
Am I getting warmer?

nothing is more heart-wrenching than me-without-you.

Being alone is the most scariest thing cause she is,
She's lost with her mind.
Her heart was a secret chamber in a church
and the walls were very high.

She painted her face in colours and learnt
that no matter how much she care,
some people just don't care back at all.

She acts like summer and walks like rain.
Her scars are stories, history written on the body
and her tears will drown her more than any water ever will.

What. A. Shame. None of you became

such fragile broken things.

Spoken words hurt you much more

I believed in the word "you"

"Little things matter.",
but why is it that
you never replied me back every night
you never recalled the night we hung out
for the first time
you never rang me first
you never said goodbye to me
on the night you left me alone

I'm not even a little thing
for you, but in my mind
you were the little thing
that everyone is so reluctant to say.

Don't do that, babe,
don't tell me I'm not trying.

I swam through 12 oceans and drowned
in every single one of them but
each time the water swept into my lungs
and the fish started swimming
in my bloodstream.

I spat it all up and went on swimming
'cause I know I can't face another day
without you in my mind.

There will be no life rafts
and I will definitely not pop in the middle of the ocean
like murdered bodies in crime scenes.

I am a ****** sinking ship.

I promise you
I will make it to shore alive, though.

I hear some of you say
that I'm going crazy but
I don't give a first.
Give me something surreal at least
so I can buy it and go behind the shed
to smoke a cigarette.

Everyone's a combination
of happiness and craziness and
some would lose and some one win.
If you failed, remember
that every time you re-miss
you're hiding from your true self
in a real world.

Pretend you're happy, fine, cray,
totally out of control at times.
Start crying to the mirror
if you don't know what to do or say.
The art of living is in your head.

I hear some of you say
that I'm making them smile and happy but
I don't give a first.
Believe me, If i feel the same I'd buy you a hundred candles
and left 21 candles to be blunt
or give anything just to feel that
on my skin

I destroyed my body
for a peace of mind i never got.

It's amazing how at one point in my life
I will be extremely close with you and then
later you will become a complete stranger.
You passed me without a word,
without a single acknowledging look. But,
you were the person, who once knew me so well
that you knew all my dark secrets and saw me through.

You were the smell before the rain but
now you are the blood in my veins,
a heart without chains.

I must say,
that you have the bluest eyes I've ever seen
and you look beautiful.
No matter what others said to you
before me,
I have to say,
"You are lovelier to me."

On the radio
two DJs are arguing over some girl's problem
with her bossy boyfriend
as I sit right next to you.
It can't be a coincidence
that I'm hearing this sobbing story of
random girl
when my glistening love starts to appear.

I should've said to you
that I'm really glad to meeting you
before I show the miserable side of me but
I can't handle myself
from holding into heaven
of muttering
because you simply are the prettiest girl
in my little universe
and if I have one foot into your space
I"m afraid,
the walls between us starts to pile up
till I can't see your gorgeous face
ever again.

Writing poetry has changed me a lot
since i became a subject of the material,
and my words are more fixed and flawed
than myself.

They flow from line to rhyme,
stabbing me into the heart
a hundred pages of thoughts
is spinning so fast
that i can barely catch any of it
if it really means
a lot to me.

It is as to flood me into downpour with it
from the Sun
yet the typical look reflected on a mirror
reminds me of who i really was
and nothing can be re-written from a history.

No roses can blossom without a rain, they said,
like they babbles up themselves to say
in front of enemies
that every petals are new-born warriors
and
the rest of  the past was the biggest blur
as if they were dropped directly into
a wrong time, at a wrong place,
like it's made by fairy tales.

Such a coincidence that I ran into you on my way home
I thought you would never miss me again.
It's good to know you care about me.
God knows how lonely
it can get when I'm at my darkest corners of my mind.

I've been lost on my path
for a very long time
I've been ripped off my soul
as fresh as cherry blossoms
and I've abused myself
since the sun became the moon.

This frozen heart of mine would go palpitating
if I knew how much nights you slept to cry
when I'm at my absolute worst
but you left me trembling.

I've taught that everything swings into action
but never told why.
how can I suppose to say
to "never give up"
but sometimes giving up and letting it all go
is the best option I've got
because I realise I'm wasting my time
and all you lot hungers to please and
serves to your Masters,
lying to my face.

On champagne supernova,
we are all losing in faith
and now you're telling me
that I'm entitled to live with a certain set of mind sets,
circumstances, but rather with a certain set
of attitudes.

I'm to devour for everything,
and nothing and
it's almost time for you
to see what's in my mind
yet ironically you never even replied me back
and it seems you don't want me any more.

Go miles before I fall asleep,
slumber in my nightmare, that's all you will get.
I Surrender.

Waking up next to you
was my favourite thing
in the world.
you think i'm just winding you up
but i know you're the prettiest person
i've ever seen
and seeing you every morning
was my ecstasy on my veins.

You were so real, so beautiful.
it only proves to me that i'm still
trapped in you,
willingly,
only for you.

I don't know how to win you back
but i know that i won't be around you any more
since i broke you heart to pieces.
It's silly to ask but, come back to me.

I have scars and bruises
in places where you'd have to
know me better to notice them.

                      On the corners of my heart,
                             in the ridges of my body,
                                   fuelled by my dark thoughts,
                                          engulfed deep into my soul,
                                    
                            
                                          they are all here.

They are very different,
as you might see,
because all of them are really
close to who i am;
every atoms of me,
and
                            every time I love too deeply,
                             or care too much,
                              too clingy, you know,
                               they re-bruise
                               and re-open.
                                  
Some people just know why
i always have so much armours in me
and dress up in colours
                        to bandage them up,
                                                
            ­                                                       and it terrifies me
                                           no matter how much i told them,
                                                                           they are just
                                                         passing   by.

i am a fog
because people always gone
missing

it might seems to me
because i became too paranoid to be friends
or i push them away first
but little do they know how i miss
to be around, just
roaming the streets,
having some fun
like even though it is silly

i know
i am a ridiculous person and
how lonely i became
from being a people person
to this rock bottom

i've never blame to anyone for losing sights
as close as they get
but can you
imagine
how thin love can be..

A Requiem to the mass

We have a peace to keep,
a promise to make,
a war to stop,
a swing to swing on.

Not the end of the era
scatters us,
scares us,
gives us a terror,
gives us a fading beacon.

A hunt that lives on our shoulder,
it keeps watching us so we never
root ourselves in the single answer.

The pieces of a missing will
never unite us, it is its sweetness
brought out a requiem to play
on the loop
without realising how the battle begun
and then
there's a hologram
floating around
as to why it plays hide and seek
yet still never found every steps
that it has made,
as remote or candid.

People have something
that brings, buries me down
in centuries
but never brought up for a fight
to my face
nor had taken a fall
for me

When is it became so easy to
just neglect us,
pretty abominated, ripped off, and abandoned
-perished
and utterly left to be
lingering amongst the deadly spirits.

In the realm of intellect,
what pours us into the integrity of a reason?

The true hallmark of unorthodox
has given to the appealing, only
to unleash the underside of themselves
to be intended.

Passive communication can
never be infinite lively.
What can be more flexible to round up
the whole taxable force than its function, to
barricade it?

The cunning grins on every rooms;
a calm melody in the midst of
stormy weather opens new insights and finds out
a balance to the loads of *******
in outside world.

The beating heart never stops

I
want my beating heart to
breathe with love
instead
of sounding like a deep cave
full of self-hatred

It glows as to cooperate with me
willingly

A sewing thread of the end
where I'm hanging from
is to leverage my weight of burdens

The night terrors
are on the edge
while I'm screaming and crying

It looks like a chamber of bad memories,
the  massacre;
the most captivating of stories to tell,
just to find the strongest of people

It will engulf my soul
whilst desire will emerge as acid,
gradually burn me
from the insides and out.
and then there's *empty

The colour of youth was there, and all youth is
in black and white.
Thinner and shallower
as the wind blows you off
We are the pupils, the innocent souls.
It shall be perrished, and the sins are borrowed.

About time to pause the moment.
Can't you see we're on the rise yet?
Your sickness grows up faster, faster
trying to hold us down,
and the mold of Gold is melting.

Searching for a new tragedy as to it was meant
for any of this to happen, aren't you?
But your mighty wall falls into the ground at last

I shall said;
nothing governs **nothing

Many seek and hide
O' the weeping angels
who reowned on everlasting earth
pulling into another focus,
you dragged
in its sorrow, like shrieking souls.
the flowers cry
in stillness

I asked many yet never seen the sounds
of fury
They were all hidden in the newfound blossom
and I watched them die pointlessly,
folding their wings but never enough to unshow
the fading shadows in distance
So gentle and spiritual mayhem
in many levels to not be seen.

Sirens wailing in every elsewhere
I must have lost my blindfold
because now I see your wandering eyes.

Atmosphere
that you fancy is no longer staying,
Surrounded by you
the golden path covers in blood,
the world starts cutting off,
the glamorous visions are in
and out,
then, lastly, the silence will fall.

it's 11 pm.
And I feel empty.

I feel like I could quit by now.
Down to the beauty of a lonely harbour
the sky is colouring array of saddened blues
scattered like an ocean
then seek shelter underneath a bridge.
My legs dangle freely over the clouds
i feel like I belong down there.
Biting gusts of winter air drove my body and
the chocking aroma of ash roamed around me

Passive smoking past my body
It doesn't always drift around when it's daylight
like one would create invisible shells of me.
This wasn't daydreaming nor a transport.
That was an escape.
I wonder if the fog take me to wonderland of discovered map
Which I may never listen the waves of the impossible agonising routine
to land inside
What if i feel the same?

now you can see me
being wasted most time drowning into nothing
cut off the world
i become a queen
A pioneer

almost forbidden to the Old Age
where the summer days collapse
into the sounds of New Illuminati
The sparkles

no one listens
and everything is
pulling me out to see the mercy of the death
hidden by a gentle gorgeousness on this autumn

i started sobbing in agony
it has been robbed of my nature

outside
on the centre of a great shadow
lit me up before i come undone

from written on first page
bloodless,
brain gone,
shadow walked in,
scars on my wrist
down in the middle
a rainbow is
sizzling on the wave

i will be on the empty page and trying not to
cry no more 'cause,
all broken homes
is evacuating from the rainbow.

falling pieces in the sky,
that's what i've left behind
i see you now.

Allow me to hold your breath for just a moment
whilst I kiss on your neck
longing for replacing it something mellow.

Where are the songs of You?
dare to look into me
To bend the fruitiness over,
drip all over me
Why are you so bright?
Where all those juicy vines is for?
What do i breathe for?

How a soul hold so much;
Sentiment controls little talks
triggered not to impress myself
Will it last or
Hurt, dashing out.

One
Of those nights, when the Sun lifts her up
The City is revolting
over her, and this Knight is so young
That sees through my eyes.

Braid your soft hair and marks on your torso.
Racing my heart on vacant this long,
querying on your presence at the right time again, again,
and over again

The explosions
for those of who let you go

Lay with me, the cuckoo's calling

Why does it have to be so hard?
Being fitting in the castle again, again,
and again.
The vicious circle.

Attempting to shut down the part of me
which it's made who I am
but fiercely intrigued.

You wouldn't
understand that in art and in our lives
what possibly most vulnerable is
An elegant, riveting and haunting inquiry
into tragic, damaged and heartless in the state of mind.

One for surrender,
and the others
is non-existent
If there's the other way around
the possibilities for salvation comes up with it.

Where are you standing up on?

i wander thro' the golden street,
Near where i belong to,
And of all men, you are here

On every moment of my time
Most glamorousness
upon your breast

i sighed at you,
struggling in the midst of summer.
The invisible worm keep crawling in,
that scares all the devil mind in heaven

Over the faint red starlight
your voice most tender but it goes away.
the sound overpowers I start staring at you
in horror a full hour
to night
yet still more to come,
the last oozings

The warm days never cease
to set warps free
With a sweet canal later,
to swell the ground and plump the hazel shells

People said,
one goes down then two goes up.

Looking outside of window
see what you've got.

Tickling you up, what outrageous mistake shall begin?
Double-sided

Books piled on the selves, and the sun lures you again.

Lost tracks on the path
the only place hidden in your mind.

Sitting on a graveyard, I'm thinking about myself.
Bury me deeper I can't take in anymore.

A state of mind split all over the place again but you can't find anything.
Screaming out yet no one seems to be heard

A shadow moving around seeking for my attention, I reckon not to be kind.

Scratches, a sense of Queen to wounded heart.

I answered,
did it hurt?

Illusions,
what makes you stronger,
keeping you away from self-harm
Imaginations,
the one you should keep
Everywhere

The way you see is shattering
I'm shouting more

Wind is slightly higher and lower at the same time,
Shall i be forgiven
Leaves,
falling down,
and the stranger keep crawling in.

Dripping my teary eyes.

World sees me as if
it is rolling a pin
Twisted plot,
where the tragedy will command.

Struggles,
I'm not fitting in.