you killed my lonely soul
lacerated its neck
with your grip
his last breath was taken
when you said i love you

degrade me because you love me
infect me with your cancer
befoul my integrity
because i’ll do anything for attention
disillusioned with my charming grip
you lie awake
thinking of ways to let me down easy
you won’t be getting rid of me
because it’s me
im the malignancy

no more do i want to be cold
your warmth creates a barrier
from the world and us
nothing comes before it
our path laid out
hopeful and sweet
your kisses are true for what’s known to me  our feelings are growing
into what i once thought couldn’t be
truly clean
every time you feel my grace
come inside
you become one with me
one day we’ll meld together
til then i’d hope to stay by your side
warm and true

my skin is cold
but you’re hot within
so i don’t mind
when you’re with him
i might be lying
just please remember
the places we built
don’t take him
i can’t watch you go by tonight

i don’t want to lie
even if im embarrassed
im beginning to see the truth
it resides in your eyes

the reflection of myself
it’s beginning to lose power over me
i can’t tell you why exactly

the power you’ve given me
it seems to have rusted your soul
oh what id give
to go back and change that

my soul is drowning
grasping on to what it can to float
freezing slowly as it inches closer to the edge
to shield me from the wrongs within myself

your warmth protects me
it exposes the purity from inside
but how i wish i could protect you too

the touch of the midnight hour
gifts me your soul
you make me feel real
all to question what is
this seems undiscovered
the thoughts of the unequivocal reality
how can it be
am I worthy
of you for you to be
present entropy
the
breath out our lungs
our bodies pour
bloods bursting throughout
the world sleeps
while we barter affection with each other
spent just below the ether
will thy beloved end me
if you don’t need me

it’s what’s done
that can’t be said
stupidity you can see
it’s just me
can’t tell you all the things i see
cause i don’t really know it all
i cry and lament of whats uncanny
sensibilities for unnecessary
points of grandeur
don’t help me
all they do is keep me awake

starving to lick your wounds
clean and fresh
i really love you
special and divine
it is hard to swallow
what seems to be knives
sometimes we cry
it’s casual *******
painful close and loving relief
your heart beats with mine
the pain that comes with our current residence
unprecedented times
get stronger as we age like wine
pull me with you
all i want is you with i

i tried to die a hundred times
and im still here
why can’t i leave

it’ll subside
you think that you you’ll be fine
you’ll be happy
as long as you can see the sunrise

after
you won’t enjoy the view
you’ll even act surprised
like you didn’t know
you won’t be back for more

no one sees the inside of you
the only things inside me
are empty thoughts, anger and wet dreams
every time it’ll be different
but it’s not
all is the same

would you love me
if you lived inside of me
because i hate it here
you’ll never see me
i used to hide
in fragments of myself
often i want to hold back
sometimes i think it’s the only way
to keep you from leaving one day

if so,
we’ll always have may

let it wash us away
like the floods of the new age
**** all the mistakes
leave only perfection
all true honesties
that leave their residues of purity
right down the leg
of each other
your body cries
tears of merriment

let me inside your head
i want to know
what you think
as you cry
does it sting?
do your eyes see what i see?
like salt entering a wound
detoxifying the spirit
let me consume your anguish

bile splatters the wall
dreadful peace fills my veins at once
it’s all going to be okay
the worst of this is tooth decay
i can’t rely on others to know better

how can something so disgusting feel this pure
why does this burn in my throat bring me closer to perfection
tears feel valid only when they’re forced
it all feels so wrong
but i can’t let go of this control
peace can’t stay here anymore

but don’t leave me like everyone else has
i’ve given up on everything
i can’t face the world without you
tears shed just for you to stay
please lie in this filth next to me
don’t flee like the rest
there’s no other way i can cope today

the mirror leaves me unrecognizable
the reflection is a lie
you can’t let this happen
here to destroy me
the progress we’ve made
i can’t become an embarrassment once again
i brought you here to take on some of this grief

lonely times in the bathroom
the tile still feels so cold
warmth you gave feels like daggers in my stomach
like bugs trying to escape
i didn’t eat the food
it’s eating away at me

hollow shells of what once was
remanentes of the truth
they lie within the rotting part of me
below the flies
I believe
they’re the closest thing to love I’ve seen
under the worms
below the maggots
you can see me
afraid of the sin
terrified of tomorrow
passive, frightening thoughts of bloodlust
i lie awake
put the bag over my head
to float like a balloon to heaven
no air, just He
where i can see tomorrow with no fear
it’s the ones that love me dear
that I can’t see
im blind but I can still feel

what ***** is
the overwhelming feelings
that i cannot seem to control

chemical imbalance
i cannot seem to get a grasp on this

seeing those
the better ones
always hurts
because I’ll never see in myself
what i can in others

on occasion i may see a glimpse of careless being
never truly believing what i think

i rather show you the pain i feel
as i tear away at your veins
hollowing out your psyche
to wear your face

i can finally be beautiful
just like you

your skin creates peace inside me
creating wrinkles in time
i find myself constantly longing to feel you close
for us to create friction between gravity
our inertia to propel us into voids of pleasure
nothing between us is what i desire
but when you deny me
black holes devour me
crushing my guts into pulp
bleeding me with your rejection
i blend till i am nothing from what i began

Im in my head again
I feel sick
overtaken with tar
Time is not relative here
long and continuous
I feel ashamed
of the damage
the damage of blood spilled for wrath
misguided words
cut deep
cruelly numbing your nerves
a shock to our nervous systems
i want to cut me away for you
starve my old self
restrain his limbs
make him limp
That’s over never again
shut your eyes
please forgive
I want to see your grin
not to lose you once more
please believe the words of the *****
his honesty is Frank
But refreshing
a lashing is needed
But don’t depart again
refresh the system

Are you happy to be infatuated
or are you eagerly celebrating
the inevitable
decline of stability and hope?