Dreaming about you hurts really bad
It reminds me of what we could’ve had






.

It sounds like a flower,
It's fresh to the ears.
Echolalia is a word that I hear.
A little girl found it,
I heard it today.
She might have autism,
But that's rude to say.
Should I just speak up or ignore the signs?
Noting signs in a child that is not mine
Is like picking a flower,
It withers and dies.

It’s too cold to be alone
So that’s why I’m thinking of you

It’s not always me
Me me
Sometimes it’s you
You you

These days are full of deaths
And resurrection.
I rapidly shift between the warm yellows
and the sallow blues.
The temperature is fading
And so is my will.
But some days make my bare bones glow
Back to the way they were,
Way before.

The (waning) distance between your hand and mine makes me nervous.
I am not afraid of touching you, but I'm afraid of what might happen if I do.
I tried to look extra good just in case you were (and you were) there,
but never considered the possibility of my efforts working.
Is this flirting?
It's rather remarkable the way my brain constantly pushes away thoughts that you could (and you could!)
like me.
But, nevertheless, you kept a steady gaze (and smiled, even though you have a short attention span) as I told stories.
And I'm a terrible storyteller.
Not to mention,
You played with my hair, offered to share your drink with me,
And hugged me goodbye for longer than what is normal(ly acceptable).
I've been trying to convince myself that this isn't flirting.
Yet, on paper, it's quite
Undeniable.

I thought the solution was talking,
But when I talktoomuch it hurts
Because I feel like I’m hurting you

As if taking up your time
With my conversation
Is selfish

Am
I just delusional
Or broken?

Now I have a dilemma
Should I talktoomuch or just never
speak?

I’m going to try shutting up tomorrow. I feel like I ****** up too much air, so I’ll just be quiet.

Let’s see how long it will last...

Give me the one that hurts
I can take the pain
I promise I’ll bite my tongue
I promise I won’t complain
If you beat me blue,
My heart will beat red
I’ll bend till’ I break
I’ll bend till’ I break
I’ll cover my scars,
Like good girls do and
Speak to the darkness there
I want to hurt
And dream of you,
Scream your name
Conceal the bruises
I’ll bend till I break
I dream while lying awake
If I’m besides you,
I’ll never love another
Your self-destructing prophecy
In it, please include me

one day i will walk to you,
clothed in the crisp linen of virtue
and amid all the people
i shall see only the one being
that i long to become
for one man shall leave his mother
and his father
and two become one.

Out of control isn’t fun
I can’t take the weight of the world
A grown man, a girl, and a child
They’re stepping on me and while...
I just keep going
Left, right, left
Right, left, right
I’m gonna struggle all my life.