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julianna Aug 13
i always found it easier to blame myself
responsible for your feelings
incapable of handling my own
i felt so much wiser when things were unknown
now I stand in the future and now I stand in the future and now I stand in the future
but im still the same age
im still the same
12 with that look on my face
14 with a secret to trace
16 with the weight of the world
18 with so much to conquer
20 with nothing to do
20 with nothing to prove
20 with nothing to lose
maybe the cycle stops when I do
but this time, blame yourself.
julianna Aug 13
We refuse to be comforted
Because those who were meant
to comfort us
Hurt us the most
julianna Aug 2021
mooɿ γm oɈni ʞlɒw υoγ ʇI
,ɿoɿɿim ɘʜɈ ni ϱniɿɒɈƨ m’I bnA
.ɘd ƨυ ɘvɒɘ⅃
Hint: Mirror
julianna Aug 2021
Mother hold me tighter,
I feel a bit cold
I wish you’d look at me longer
So you’d see the gold in my deep brown eyes
Stroke my hair and sing me to sleep
So I can be the child that I never got to be
If you held my hand,
Maybe I would feel less lonely
And if you kissed me I would feel less broken
Is it too much to ask for a tender word?
A loving touch?
A knowing nod?
I want advice only a mother would know
Teach me your ways
Share your gifts
Give me things other than clothes
Spend a few hours by my side
Hear my laugh, see me smile
Maybe then I could confide in my mother
My only mother
My dearest mother
julianna Aug 2021
I can read people like a book
I can open and flip through the pages
I can imagine the scenes
I can read between the lines
People read me like a magazine
They take me for face value
A picture is worth a thousand words, but I feel worthless and unseen
julianna Jul 2021
I’m too smart to fail
I’m too good to mess up
I’m too pretty to be insecure
I’m too talented to be doubtful
I’m too perfect to be anxious
I’m too loved to hate myself

I wish this was the truth.
julianna Apr 2021
Don’t let me doubt.
If you let your doubt out,
I’ll never see the light of sun.
Not above not below
Not ever, not anymore.  
There are sparks in my eyes,
A flame that’s dim
Don’t let it go out
Don’t let it out.
The color of your blue sky interlaced
With the brights of my eyes.
It keeps me alive.
Letting me down,
Letting my doubt run free
Planting seeds to never see them sprout,
It still leaves these weeds inside of me.
See these weeds,
Something you’ve never heard
Words you’ll say again
Green grows out of my mouth
Faster faster
Harboring the in the arbor of my mind
My truth, your lies.
Is it your truth or is it mine?
I’m quiet.
It hurts.
Every breath of life feels worse
The doubt the doubt the doubt
It sprouts and grows
But none of this you’ll ever know.
I’m captured and I can’t be found.
Again I ask,
Don’t let your doubt out.
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