Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Oct 2020 · 179
Don't know
Brian Payamps Oct 2020
Love is caring love is kind
Love is forgiving
But loves not blind
Your love so selfish
Your love so relentless
Your love left me restless

Love is selfless
Love is faceless
Love is timeless
Your love so selfish
Your love filled hatred
Your love expired

I forgave you
For when I was down you smiled
I forgave you
For when in need compassion you gave me hell

I forgave your love.
How can you love someone and not forgive?
Oct 2020 · 289
Brian Payamps Oct 2020
On a day like today
God took a life I wished had stayed
On a day like today
A part of my heart was taken away
On day like today
I touched your warm skin for the last time
On a day like today
I took a break from words
On a day like today
I blamed God for my loss
On a day like today
My guilt ate at my soul
On a day like today
My guilt ate at my brain
On a day like today
I reached the eye of the storm

On a day like today
You died but so did I
Sleep in peace. We live to die but what we leave behind is forever lasting.
Sep 2020 · 268
Brian Payamps Sep 2020
Trying to find the light
But it seems to be that darkness wins
Every single time

A light so bright
It'll give a blind man sight
So close but yet so far
Like the moon on a dark winter night

I've tried,
I try to chase it down
I've ran,
I run
And ran some more
Chasing down a moon for it's light

A light so bright
It'll give a blind man sight
Sep 2020 · 219
Brian Payamps Sep 2020
Hello My name is Damien
And I like to be your friend.
I see they left you here alone.
There is no need to cry anymore.
I have the cure for life.
Your problems will be gone in a fly
I don't pray
I prey.
The young the old
The dumb the wise.
There is no mind
stronger than mine.
Is our secrete
So when they're with me they hide.
Piece by piece
How many slices will make the pie complete?
Sep 2020 · 552
Live on
Brian Payamps Sep 2020
Do we really know life
Guess we'll know after we die.
taxes and death are the only guarantees in life.
Aug 2020 · 334
Brian Payamps Aug 2020
LOVE so deep
But love....
LOVE'S not free

LOVE like a circus clown
Frowns turned upside down

Every day I died
But love...
LOVE kept me Alive


For Love we hide
We hide our damaged parts
But the stench
The Stench of SULPHUR
Can't be covered by cologne nor perfume

LOVE so deep
But love....
LOVE'S not free

LOVE needs to eat
But how you let it feed when you rot from with in
Brian Payamps Dec 2016
I never praised a girl like Amber Rose
Beautiful in her physique
But the mind is shallow like the sea
We are living in a different era where intimacy doesn't exit
Where boys and girls display their bodies like canvases for all to see
I remember when you got a picture of her in bras and ******* you were a ****
I remember when dates were more than a free meal ticket
I remember when phone conversation existed
I never praised a girl like Amber Rose
But many man have, and fallen in that trap
'Till they have their own daughters and don't want them to be like their mothers  
A generation full of strippers and gold diggers
Who will be our lawyers and teachers of tomorrow
I love a woman that feel comfortable in her own skin as long as is not at the expense of her integrity
Oct 2015 · 1.1k
Brian Payamps Oct 2015
My body has become more than just his temple
With these tattoos on me like a picture book it has become a canvas
This is when two worlds collide
And one can't tell the difference from the other
In what is wrong and what is right
My words have become more than just his prayers
With logistical reasoning I stand and ask of why  
For my father is defiance the way I want to open up my mind
My lungs have become more than just his air
Since pollution is inhaled and oxygen exhaled
One might of thought I was a tree But is the brown bark rolled over green leaves what's in me.
My knees have become more than just for praise
For times I kneel between to sets of tighs attached to drums and eat sushi
Until my hunger is filled with fried chicken and fish
He sees graffiti on his temple not art
He sees the devil on his tongue not why
He sees smoke in his lungs not light
He sees Eve by his side not his wife
He sees the apple split in half for him to eat not fish
He sees Adam in me.
Never let your value be determined by another person. No such thing as being let down just un-expectation. Enjoy.
Sep 2015 · 2.6k
The Last Kiss
Brian Payamps Sep 2015
Have you ever kissed someone and you knew it'll be the last time.
Since it wasn't see you later but goodbye.
Have you ever kissed someone and knew it was the last time.
Since when you walked away you kept your head high.
At least you kept your pride
Since you didn't cry.
I kissed her lips which were once mine
For the last time
As we hugged for the last time
She placed her lips on my cheek
And I felt like Judas
Guess salvation wasn't for me
Have you ever kissed someone and knew it'll be the last time
At least I kept my pride
Since I didn't cry.
Sometimes you have to show you're venerable unfortunately that's not me. Only way to express it is through writing.
Sep 2015 · 2.0k
Same ol' me
Brian Payamps Sep 2015
Crazy how the new got old so quick
Drug dealing is the new entrepreneurship
Stripping is the new night shift
**** financial aid ****
Since they finish college but continue dancing
On that ***** pole ****
Gay is the new straight
Killer cops are the new superman
And cop killers the new batman
Since when have black lives matter
That's old news ****
Social media fame is the new news feed
And gangster rap beef is the new comedy
Kevin Heart is the new Bill without the pill
Obama is the new Kennedy not John but Robert
Hillary will be the new President
But that's just my prediction
Even-though 49 percent of me believes a Republican is winning this election
Since they are the new donkeys and Democrats the new elephant
Orange is the new black?
.... wait...
Orange is the new black?
That's a thing of the past orange been the color for Blacks
Poets are the new rappers
Rappers are the new fathers
**** is the new medicine
No need for doctors and nurses
Money is the new God
Gold chains are the new nooses
Since every ***** want one
D'usse is the new Hennessey no need for a chase
So much new in the world but I'm still the same ol' me
Cole is the new Nas
Kendrick is the new Em
"Drake is the new great Philosopher"
But that is in the words of the Bronx borough president
Since he is the new ***** of politics
But there's only still one
Ball is the new life
and hoes are the new wife's
Snitches are the new thugs
K2 is the new ****
Heroine the new *******
Pills the new crack
So much new in the world and I'm still the same ol' me
Black will be the new white
Peace will be the new war
But those are just my predictions
Since we lost our self-identity through the modern age of seasoning
So much new in the world as I predict
I'll stay the same
While the environment adapts to me
never the other way around
I'll forever be me
And these voices in my head are just the curse of the talented
Times are changing for the worst. Humans valuing the wrong things but I'm an old soul and we're build better, stronger, smarter. Please my people don't give in don't change. Let the environment adapt to you. You don't change the flower when it doesn't grow you change the soil. We are the chosen ones.
Sep 2015 · 1.7k
Slut Walk
Brian Payamps Sep 2015
Dear Amber Rose,

El pueblo unido jamas sera vensido.
(A city united would never be beaten)
"Half naked and I'm still not asking for it" - some crazy chick

Poem begins:
You are preaching women empowerment.
Dress how you dress make your self feel ****
Even it means wear nothing while walking in the streets.
I get the motive of your movement **** Walk I guess that's what we should be teaching our daughters.
But if you're dancing on that ***** pole now that's a different story.
Tell us how many ***** you had to **** to make it to the glory.
Hard to preach to a generation that glorifies strippers and undermines knowledge.
I am so pro women but **** like **** Walk and so on are the reason we are separated
men and women segregated.
Your biggest concern is what next party you are hosting, while these young girls are all confused about their bodies getting liposuction.
Trying to be you
Trying to be you
But why? when even Wiz Kalifa depicted you as an object and didn't glorify.
***** is power between the right pair of legs.
Tell us how many motel sheets have you gotten wet.
Such a shame our ancestors probably turning in their graves. Lauryn Hill wasn't naked and sold more then Nicki, Iggy, and Kim combined.
The real definition of a role model
Guess that's why you differ
Since you're a *** model.
To ***** licious to be a runway model.
But perfect for the *** shot I want to spray up in your mouth model.
Then go kiss your son with the same lips you rocked the mic model.
Women rights is not about a dress code.
Is so much deeper but what can be expected from a stripper.

El pueblo unido jamas sera vensido.
(A city united would never be beaten).
El pueblo unido jamas sera vensido.
(A city united would never be beaten)

A concerned father
I believe men and women should be considered as equals buy history has proven me wrong. There's a way to go about this fight and way way deeper than clothes and what women wear. Is what you call yourself and what you represent and how you represent it. I'm a victim of a single parent house hold and my mother never ever had to undress or degrade herself for dollars. I was born in the wrong generation this is ridiculous on how we look up to these people who really don't do anything for you. All fights and not fought fair but always fought right. Women died for this cause.
Aug 2015 · 2.2k
Poetic (Posers)
Brian Payamps Aug 2015
Is what everybody is now
Poetic justice is what everybody brings now
Burn the city down
Maybe then the government will listen
Everyone a revolutionary
Posers standing on podiums
They march for peace but plant the seed
to send you to war
Posers never on the front line
Cowards afraid to die first
Selling dreams that don't exist like those of Mr. King
Posers afraid of death
Homosexuals of war
But far from an Alexander
Far from a Ceacer but those are who they chosen to follow since they don't lead none
We poets don't speak up
I was going to recite with my stage name
Anonymous my alter ego
My Duo persona
But for this everyone should see the face and now the name
Of the man who pointed out the cowards
I'm not afraid of death,
I'm not afraid of arrest
But the bloods the crips
The nation of islam
Should had burned down
Sallie Mae
Not mom and pop shops
Restore the damage
Restore the damage
pay your dues
Go get your 40 acres and your mule
I dream the dream but not American
Since I live my life as if I was to die
Before being immortalize
Everyone nowadays is a revolutionary. Milking the system like it's not abouthe money. Understand I follow no one but I'm there where I need to be
Aug 2015 · 532
Brian Payamps Aug 2015
I wanted to tell you
how much I loved you
But my pride is in tact
It wouldn't even let my mouth open to talk to you back
I wanted to tell you
Girl you the one
The only one
So afraid to come second
Since thats the first one that lost
We were parallel, equals,
Such a shame we couldn't meet at an intersection
Maybe yet the corner
We both use to loiter
You know we both use to hustle
Me that Danity
You that pus-say
I wanted to tell you
I love the freedom you lived
From a caterpillar to a butterfly
Over night
You spread your wings and fly
But how did you now
Left shoulder cold that's how you snubbed
Right shoulder hot that's how you loved
From where the heart couldn't interrupt
Your top was cool calm and collective like the fall
And down low was the power you know warm and sticky like those spring showers
I wanted to tell you
Hope you feel better
I wanted to tell you
No! Don't!
Let them hit
But I don't hate
I wanted to tell you
Tell them to wear a rubber
I wanted to tell you
They know now, they know now is
***** not pus-say and that's power
I wanted to tell you
Now you've been infected with the monster AIDS
but before your death becomes the compromise of life
I wanted to tell you
Atleast once that I loved you
Before the wars and the battles
When you were just a butterfly
Conquering the land in the abiss
You'll forever be my home
I wanted to tell you
I loved you
Brian Payamps Aug 2015
Banging on the door. As twenty minutes before
There was hard tumbling on the floor.
Loud noise coming out my mothers vocal cords.
Her voice like mine when I hungered for her breast I use to suckle.
I was just a toddler
I didn't know any better.
Those men with the the blue shirts came again
The super let them in again
Since papa didn't open
But this time Papa didn't stay.
Those linked cheerios round his wrist as he gave me what would be my last kiss.
Mama wiped it of as if he just passed down sin
I saw this happen time and time again.
I guess you were fed up with his ****
But I was just a toddler I wouldn't understand why
The neighbors know our names.
Aug 2015 · 3.4k
Brian Payamps Aug 2015
What's happening to hello poetry?
I don't need to know when the next soccer game is
And if I can watch for free.
Only football I know is American like the pride that's in me.
My blood doesn't boil the native sounds of my country.
Since my  motherland is the Dominican
But America my step motherland won custody and raised me, since the age of three.
Don't forget is not who made you but who you fed you, who clothed you, who saw your first shot to a basket, who saw your first catch, who kept your body warm when you got another cold, and so on.
This is "Breakfast for Champions"
Just ask Kurt Vonnegut

What's happening to hello Poetry?
Show your art
Get your due diligence
Don't sell us your dreams don't broadcast your business unless is a story, book signing or deal.
I don't need a spell to make a girl fall in love. I got these words
For and to whom I might propose
Love or an indecent occasion of lust.
Let my words be the for front on this site but they're second to my actions.
Since I don't speak much b'cause my Latin accent.

What is happening to hello poetry?
Private messages by strangers who don't write or speak words.
Claim is urgent and as a poet
You know kind hearted, love lost, And so on...
You just might want to message their Hotmail.
Sad story under prosecution
Sad story the relation is abusive
Mocking the painful truths of some of us artist.
Just wanting a piece of the pie
But when I order I even eat the crust and never leave crumbs.

Take offense or not I just don't give a ****.
I've been holding back but no more.
Jul 2015 · 600
Brian Payamps Jul 2015
I can just put it down here.

My thoughts
My insight
The way I love to love women
With a E not a A since it's plural
Far from singular I've never been bought out
But if I get my first chance I want to sell out
**** these words for what ever is left out
Plead the fifth in every statement
Need to beat the case, I didn't come with luggage
I'm not here to stay
New York lines straight kicker like *******
Far from a mad poet Anonymous only has a temper
Is been a while just going to post rants with some type of scheme
Jun 2015 · 1.3k
Nuyorican Café
Brian Payamps Jun 2015
He spoke about Mike far from the Jackson but more like the color Brown.
As if whites love to see white since the lightest part of his body was in the air before his demise.
I think you should cut that dread off you know the one for Mike Brown since you weren't there. Far from a activist I honestly don't give a ****. Far from an activist you're just adding fuel to extinguishing flames. You know how words spread like aids. People saw what they saw, so they say. You're no Martin you're no Malcom you're more like Powell.
This is when I knew I was a racist since all lives don't matter so you say.
If I was to die today in the hands of a white man. You wouldn't care since I'm light right.
Spanish boy on the mic.
Like if my daddy wasn't black as Wesley Snipes. But you know how the ***** daddy story goes.
Never home.
Left mama with a belly on her own.
They don't want to be the fathers but sure in hell they want to hit the daughters.
I prayed one day you'll walk through that door without the bottle. That's my only memory.
A dream.
So if I was to die today you wouldn't care or maybe for half
I mean my dad left me slung
Guess that changes the fact the left me hug like a pair Jays on the electrical line
Never to come by.
Never to teach how to ride a bike.
Never to teach me how to fight.
This is when I knew I was a racist.
Because I hate people, I hate crowded places.
I hate 34th street I hate 42nd.
I hate the city life
I should be somewhere in the country side.
But back to the matter tell me would you care if I die today in the hands of a white man.
What if I got killed by my enemy since minority violence is not a hate crime to society.
You see Tito got popped by Jahim
And Jahim lights went off in the middle of the night by Piddy
But these life's don't matter right
Is just minority violence
Is not the same media feed.
So for all you rappers, poets and activist whose saw Mikes hands up round of applause.
You're just like the media feeding in to what your eyes didn't see.
Is not about the truth anymore ******* but the ratings.
So to the special guest of honor poet I must tell you I'm a racist
I have 6 dead Spanish friends killed by all hands
Black, white and of time
Don't speak to me about justice
This wasn't Gardner or Bell
And if there's beef let me know I always keep a glock close.
My life won't matter to you like to yours won't matter to me.
But if that's what makes me a racist,
******* what are you?
I went to Nuyorican Cafe in the city the other day and the guest poet whose words were touching angered me he said if you believe all lives matter you're racist. I gave much thought to what I snapped my fingers to. I got mad and then agreed I'm a racist according to his thesis.
Jun 2015 · 4.1k
Brian Payamps Jun 2015
Poetry the feeling
Poetry the action.
Poetry in everything
Poetry in working
Poetry in drug dealing

Poetry in words
Nouns and verbs
Poetry in metaphors
Poetry in similes
Lest cement a brick like a drug dealer does a ki

Poetry for the poor
Poetry for the rich
Poetry for the sick
Poetry for the healthy
Poetry for those trying to make heaven on earth

Poetry for you
Poetry for me
Poetry for all

Poetry Is My Poison (****)
Poetry Is My Poison  (****).  It gives me love but do to it I destroy all I love but me.
May 2015 · 600
Brian Payamps May 2015
Sometimes I get lost in transition like Neo I'm the One. Even when my mind is lost. Sometimes I sit and wonder what is left for me to conquer. If my thoughts are the only thing that escape. Sometimes I lose track of time as if it doesn't pass. As if my eyes won't wrinkle and my skin won't shrivel. Sometimes I lose money as if these new generation of rappers and strippers going to pay my benifits. Sometimes I think about time as if I can buy it back. Sometimes I think about love as if I can make it up. Sometimes I think of Melissa. Sometimes I think of Jodieliz. Sometimes I think of Meltin, Amanda, Natalia, Iliana, Jessica in that exact order. Sometimes I look back and say I should not had done that. But life without regrets won't give you lessons. And I live a life with no regrets so never expect a sincere apology text. Sometimes I get lost in transition when I roam through my thoughts. All sixty  thousand and one. Sometimes I get lost. Unplug.
How much I wish I can read this to you.
May 2015 · 702
New World
Brian Payamps May 2015
Living in a world where is based on what you have then who you are. Where everyone is different in the same way. So who really is unique? Where attraction is based what you give not what you bring. Poetic justice doesn't exist. Burning down a city is not really freedom. But who am I to preach, if I sin every day. Why would God forgive? In a world where everything is for sale even self esteem I'm still having a issue with mine. In a world where everything is for sale but I won't buy. I still believe in being me. Lost touch with the art but I still believe in me. Lost the love for the world but I still dream. Lost the one, she wasn't the Poetress I was looking for. **** this new world.
At 13 I dreamed of a million... at 23 I see money is not everything. But in this new world money is everything and everything has a price.
Apr 2015 · 763
Worth It
Brian Payamps Apr 2015
Say words worth quoting
Live a life worth reading
Die a death worth seeing
As poets we deserve it
we are worth it.
Everything we do is art is a gift and a curse.
Apr 2015 · 2.7k
World is an addiction
Brian Payamps Apr 2015
The world is an addiction
Eyes filled with vanity
Wonder if it's green like envy
Wonder if it all spring from the same seed
See one with it and you have to get it
By any means, necessary
Even running at them at a red light
Close to a district
But how we split a watch three way
Guess two must have to die today
The world is an addiction
Selling ***
We want to see more violence
More brutality even the headlights on our cars getting meaner
Is this what the media is teaching us?
In 30 second intervals feeding us
That poison
The world is an addiction
But where to find rehab
Is it with in a church
For even pastor Mason wants his dough and he doesn't pray for a dollar
So I come to my knees and ask for forgiveness
For the Versace and Dolce and Gabbana
Everything I don't need while there are kids who don't eat
I was like them, hungry  
guess that's why I buy things
The world is an addiction
It flows through my veins like heroine, it goes up my nose like *******, inhaled it through my mouth like drough, smoke it of a pipe like Crack
For I desire everything I don't have
The world is my addiction
I seem to want all that I can't have since having all I have is not enough.
Apr 2015 · 991
You count me down
Brian Payamps Apr 2015
You count me down
1 night to make peace but, the
2 of us can make the world stop
3 nights and you must leave on day
4 before the sun
5 reasons I need you to stay
6 because I might just love you
7 different ways to do the wrong things and
8 ways to say it
9 without six means you're mine
10 fingers as I hold your hand for the last time
For the author of "You count me up"
Sawyer Westerfield. Your art does things even if you can't see.
Mar 2015 · 741
Who you fight for? (not me)
Brian Payamps Mar 2015
You claim you fight for peace.
You claim you are the reason I live free.
As you stand with pride on both your feet.
Whose helping out your brother who's begging on 42nd street.
He lost both his feet.
You don't fight for me
But for the 1 percent that can afford to put their kids through ivy league.
You think I'm free
within these parameters inposed on me.
where I can't even speak.
You lost your brother, well so did I.
He stepped on a C4,
mine got gun down by the police force.
You fight for peace?
had *** three times last night and I'm still trying to lose my virginity.
You think I'm free
I'm more of a slave now than kutakente was back in eighteen thirty-three.
You think I want you to risk your life for me?
I guess if somebody must die better you than me.
Fighting for peace ****.. take it how you want. Poems are suppose to hit a nerve. Just my thoughts
Mar 2015 · 4.0k
Brian Payamps Mar 2015
You Found it hard to belive
When I said I'm with you I'm with you
Nobody else in the picture
Now you're crying the blues
You saw her, the one that replaced you
Don't cry no more, dry your tears
I was loyal just dishonest
You played me, Robert and Jason
Like guitar strings
Now sing to your tunes...*****.
If you getting accused of cheating is because they're cheating on you.
Feb 2015 · 860
Fall of Rome
Brian Payamps Feb 2015
Is hard to find peace in religion just ask the middle east. But a church is like a library where you can hear your thoughts speak. The words that your heart whispers but your mind doesn't hear. It spills like a faucet leak. One word at a time till you've cried a river. Repent the pastor said. Repent the pastor said. And when I did the load was lifted of my shoulders. But once I was free that same world I was reliefed from put the nails through my hands and feet. Slowly so I can feel it piercing through the skin. Crowned me with thorns as they mocked the king. Father forgive them for which they don't know of their sin. This is where the fall of Rome begins.
Cesar had Jesus crusified.... the Brutus killed Cesar his empire betrayed him like Israel to Jesus but only one arose from the dead on the 3rd day...
Jan 2015 · 1.7k
Love < Lust
Brian Payamps Jan 2015
"Your eyes are my weakness"

I see right through you
Exploit the fact you're blind without me

"Your scent is my pronesness"

My humanly aroma can turn you off
So I mask it with axe after shave and Gucci guilty cologne even when we home

"Your lips are my vulnerability"

I understand when you ramble on you want me to grab you by the face and kiss you like our first date.
It reminds you why you fell in the first place.

"Your hair is my susceptibility"

So like Samson let Delilah cut it off. A man of God blinded by she who he called his third wife. Became a weak for sin so legs I grabbed like pillars and let them fall on me.

"Your touch is my humility"

I know where to feel to bring you back to me. The power of being your first and only. As my hands run through your body like a ship in an ocean.

"Your lust is my inferiority"

Bring you to your knees when the tides are high. Tell you that I love you right before I....

"Your love is my superiority"

Cheat. The fact that I know you love me gives power to the lies I feed... you. Stories I tell that can't be disproved even if you looked well.

Love blinds the eyes, since one thinks with the ***** that beats. Led by impulse all it does is repeat. Witness my parents split after 25. For the last ten only kissed on New Year and valentine's.
Why we live a lie, we can fall in and out of love over night. So I rather lay with you her, and her in these hotel sheets and avoid being heart broke like my father is. Smelling like great *** guided by lust. Is what a good stroke does.
Inspired by ThePoet. The other side of the coin. Everything in quotes was written by ThePoet.
Jan 2015 · 1.2k
Love fiend
Brian Payamps Jan 2015
Love like ours hard to find. Crazy for each other like eminem and shady combined. Love fiend, you're my adrenaline rush like morphine. You are every pill I ever taken for depression, you're my Xanax. You are my chocolate cake as if every day was my birthday. You are the ****** to my withdrawals. lived all 365 in twenty fourteen. With you I can not die. With you I am most high. Not even snow angels got me this close to God. You are my cardiac arrest waiting to happen, can wait to be Harlem shaking like back in the early two thousands. Love fiend, for you I **** like Crack did to pookie. You are my health. My fruits and vegetables handly picked for me. you are my blueberries and pineapples. You are my asparagus and mushrooms all ready to eat. Love like ours hard to find. Far from humanly  connection all the stars were aligned by gods from the belt of Orion. Love fiend, crazy. For you I live an die you are my Crack queen baby. My only addiction.
Love is my addiction.
Jan 2015 · 2.0k
Paying homage
Brian Payamps Jan 2015
Is time to pay homage to those who paved a path for me. Had a "Dream with in a dream" like Edgar did. No kiss upon the brow, we shook hands and drank tea. Spoke about love and death and all its synonyms like I am to he. Did you kissed her because she died? Were the grain of golden sand that creeped through your fingers  from her broken hour glass? Is this life a reality or yet a dream? For the poor it must be a nightmare to sleep and not see reality. As he vanished right in front of me and left behind a black feather with ink as it came from a Raven's wing.

Pinched my self to wake up from this dream or nightmare. Scared of what might come next. I see snow flakes start to fall from the sky as if heaven is coming down towards me. I look up with my mouth open catching snow on my tounge. I hear a horse gallop and is getting close. He stops right before and asked if the woods are mine? He says, "I know he know he still has miles to go for promises he must keep before he sleeps." As the horse harness bell shakes he ask "before I depart how far I'll go before I sleep in the woods that are lovely, dark and deep. Remember my name Robert Frost, for when I sleep and arrive at your door but For now I must go I have promises to keep, I have promises to keep before I sleep." As he vanishes right before my eyes horse and all I hear the gallops far far away and a solid snow flake falls right between my eyes.

and I blink and I see 21st century man ask a stranger where am i? He smiles and sarcastically said "the land of the free" "we were named New Amsterdam but now is called Manhattan, this hear is Harlem. I'm Langston Hughes let's sit by the river. Asked him how's life? "Life is fine" "I was born for living as are you." "You'll be dogged if you let them see you die for love, so live. You'll make your mark I'll all come one night." Took the elevator to the 16 floor asked him if I was dreaming? He said "of course I died in 1967" as he jumped this time for the first time he yelled "don't let it dry up like a raisin in the sun, dream don't defer". Just like that he was gone.

As time moves back and forth between centuries. I hear murmurs, see things I can't understand stop please the voices are to much for me. Troy, Troy is it burned yet? Homer and William Butler Yeats discuss Odeysseu's journey, Helen and Menelaus king of Sparta.
Stop! Stop! Stop! As I fall from space in fear of my death. I wake up and see the sun beaming through the blinds. The smell of pancakes enters the room and in to my nose, glad is on my face. She said "How you sleep last night, bad dream again" As I eat with my left and write with my right. Time to pay homage i said. Time to pay homage.
Time to pay homage to those Poets I love the most.
Jan 2015 · 635
Brian Payamps Jan 2015
Sometimes is best to sleep
sleep deep
In were the world can end
and you won't hear a thing
not a scream or a yell for help
not a noise in your ear
as you sleep deep
that's what I need
I need sleep
the stress of a broken home kills me
I'm a man but family is everything
baby sister asking for daddy
as he sits in bookings probably crying
he's not the only one
I hold back my tears
but deep inside I'm broken
like shattered mirrors
Wasn't home that night
so Im in between their fight
tug of war with my body
as they both pull to their side
I look down and see my sister holding tight to me
doesn't matter where
she'll stay by side
wether daddy or momy
is always her and I
I just want to sleep
a little slumber
don't know who should I believe
but the judge decides that
he don't know what's best for me
or mine
Tonight I want to sleep an eternal slumber
and if I do awake hope is in heavens gates.
Jan 2015 · 776
Thick as blood
Brian Payamps Jan 2015
Good friends hard to come by
I ride and I die for mine
Names kept ananymous since we have the same enemies
But we gradually grew
Caught the same felonies
They are 24 in their young kobe stage
Me 23 in my Jordan era at 26
The peak of my career
Never blamed the game
Just the situation
I want to shine with those I was dimmed with
I want to eat with those who I starved with
I want shop with those who I robbed with
I want to laugh with those who I cried with
Water that is thick as blood
Those is who I swimm with
We've done lied
Blew trial and scape town with each other
Friends like mine you'll never find
Bring out the good and the bad in us at the same time.
Though I learned from each one
Middle one dropped out of high school
Oldest one dropped out of college
I finished both
So I gained books and street knowledge
These are my brothers
We started at distant cousins
Now inseparable like two magnets
One nephew two nieces
How God blessed me
Next year it might just be me
That's JI and KD
We aren't friends no more
Nor distant cousins
We thick as blood
Jan 2015 · 592
What should a poem be?
Brian Payamps Jan 2015
What should a poem be?
Should it be about love?
Should it be about hate?
Should it be about how your love found a lover and you learned to hate him or her?
Should it be a story based on facts?
Should it be fictional all made up?
Read a poem today bout the unheard offs.
Those that are unliked as a three leaf clover.
The ones with no luck
trapped in the web of hello poetry
Were they get no love, no likes, no repost... Is alright.
That's me, a noble man a no..body.
And I thank you
But never again right for me
I say it out of love not hate... Truly
Your words hit big like the empire state but,
What should a poem be?
Love, hate,
Factual, fictional,
Etc, etc,
All the above
Though it should never be about fame, or will I trend today.
Is how you you control your emotions
Whether you put yourself down
Or you gloat
This is spoken words
Best heard acapella
I use to wear a sky mask
And dark shades
My stage name anonymous
Till my first love kissed me for the first time one night like
Jane did to spider man
Do it for you, trend or not we all great. Thanks.
Jan 2015 · 355
I'll miss you
Brian Payamps Jan 2015
This is a dedication poem. Just know I always love you.

They said god gives his strongest soldiers the hardest battles. Why couldn't you be weak. I strayed from the Man though you stayed in the faith. I prayed and I prayed but fell into a life of sin and chose to stay. You must love me. I betrayed the Man with a kiss like judas did. I followed what I read while you read what you followed.Thought I had all the answers that my believes weren't shallow. Now your blood is thin living for the days you have left. Wish I could believe but what more can I say. Hope your faith lets you into heaven. And if I die and go the opposite side hope we can find a hiding spot like when we were kids and you can share water with me from your mouth like on our first kiss.
Brian Payamps Jan 2015
I want to fall with a Poetress
Not a girl but a woman that can match my intellect.
She can cook and clean but is far from domesticated.
Need a ghetto queen like Latifah
I'm from the hood baby I can handle a skillet.
Let's split it
You cook the rice I make the chicken
A woman that understands it all from politics to religion
She fights for her rights
And some nights she doesn't want to lay she wants to ride  
Never ask for nothing but is willing to die
Living for the moment
Like of our live is being directed by Nick Cassavetes
A Poetress I promise to keep smiling
Like a woody Allen movie
And if I sell my soul
I'll be Adam and she Lilith
I want to fall in love with a Poetress
That argues with me metaphorically
Poetic in her actions
When she threatens to leave me
A goddess with words and she let's me hear it
A woman I can open up like a book
And let's me eat in her living room
One that can bear baby Jesus and the anti Christ if God decides
My match
My one on one
Wether I have a bible or a ski mask
Much more than superficial beauty
But if I had to choose
She'll be Patron white with a Henny ***
Don Pergion for a mouth,
she speaks class
1880 aged wine for her mind
Her thoughts are dined
I want to fall in love with a Poetress
Who understand cutlery
But loves bacon and burger beef
A goddess of poetry
Would be the only one right for me
I want to fall in love with a Poetress
And the search begins
your majesty.....
Where is the woman I'm looking for lol. Don't take it all at face value some witty metaphors in this poem
Jan 2015 · 1.3k
Lets take a trip
Brian Payamps Jan 2015
Ooo how to describe the feeling
The feeling that I get
The feeling that I get
When I'm with you
We've been to the Garden of Eden
And seen God
Seen the snake that played Eve
And came back
With roses and flowers
Plants that smelled like blue berries, asparagus and mushrooms
That was our Ezekiel,
Better yet our Genesis
We’ve been to the coast were they still Harlem shake
Except they shake their whole bodies like if they caught seizures
We laughed at their moves
But skilled one had to be to shake like that
As if they had 100 grams of sugar in their system
They went at it for two or three, on what felt like days
We were almost left behind
How can we forget we almost missed that plane
Since we barely slept
Let's take a trip far from memory lane
One that can only be remembered by the pictures we take
I found this new place
Is supposed to be great
They say is the second best thing next to heaven and we both been near that
Is like one step forward and two step back
Let's take a trip
I promise it'll be first class
Whole poem is a metaphor.
Dec 2014 · 1.5k
The beauty of love-tred
Brian Payamps Dec 2014
As Poets we tend to find beauty in the horrid.
We put fear in love but still
fall for it.
Far from the beauty and the beast
we find beauty in the beast.
Like a double homicide, suicide
And a love letter left behind;
"How could you! if I love you even now when I contemplate our deaths I still want to be laid a rest by your side. As for him, his body can burn and be turned to ashes. Or should he be buried in a open casket thirty feet deep so the heat can moist the skin and help it rot  away. The stink for the filth he is. Let the dirt cover up what the worms and the magets will eat. God please for give me for the actions I will shortly take, yet these are not my sins. You showed me the path of peace but today the devil over took me. If you can't find it in you to forgive me then then you're not righteous.  She is my wife and not even in death we'll be apart."

That love is so deep it cut through the skin swift like a samurai sword. No pain as the blood gushed from the neck like it hit a vein. Love so strong it sprung hate... so deep that pierced through the skin with a double edge knife. Not once not twice but thirty-three times as if death was sent by christ. Not one cut was precise.
That's the beauty in poetry
As two body lay a rest
Floor covered in red
Sirens approach
In blood he writes
If Picasso would had never displayed his art the world would had never known him
A bullet in the magnum
As he laid next to his wife
kissed her with trembling lips one last time
Digged the gun deep into his mouth
So far deep he gagged then
Last bit of blood splatter

The beauty of love and hate
A poet a artist master-take is finding beauty in death as in life.
Love can turn a man mad and have him commit horrendous acts but is done for love which all in all is beautiful. Love-tred
Dec 2014 · 1.3k
Love Love Love
Brian Payamps Dec 2014
Let's speak about love and how much I love. I've watched my pen bleed out slowly for these words I've written that some have read. Only seem to trend when I speak about love.
Was told my poems are no good because they don't rhyme. Foolish guy wouldn't understand the essence of each line. Wouldn't understand that nothing is sweet just sour like lime. That my worst poems were the best in my mind. You still believe I can't make a poem rhyme? When you read this guess you'll be surprised. just to make it clear I probably read more books in my childhood than you'll read in you lifetime. Is easy to rhyme.
Said I couldn't have a 10 word scheme.
So here is one.
"*******" times five lines.
Said I speak to much about the hood I speak to much about drugs.
I don't need for you to understand I'm far away from the sunny side.
I live on Broadway never river side. From the city that doesn't sleep to the city that doesn't speak. I can tell you how to take ******* and make it sweet as sugar cane with water and baking soda.
Love love love as I tortured my pen.
I've watched my pen bleed out slowly for these words I've written that some have read. .
Why I speak about the ghetto?
Everyone poem that I've read has been about love that is far from the streets I grew up in. Every line coincides with the previous one. Love love love
I love my brother who brought me a slice when I didn't have to eat. Now I'm grown no more fasting for me. No trial he just took it 5 years later went from a blackberry to the iPhone 6. Six months in a halfway house now he's free.
I do more than speak about the hood and drugs.
Don't take it at face value if you don't know how much it cost me and the family.
I'm making it college degree and all.
I'm glad I don't trend
I'm glad some don't understand
I can speak about love though all my relationships have fallen and crumbled to the ground like the twin towers. And if that offends you then skip the line and read the next one
I can speak about love though all my relationships have fallen and crumbled to the ground like the Berlin Wall on November ninth of eighty nine. Love love love. This is my poetry and history is mine.
Love love love.
Just in case you didn't know love.
Dec 2014 · 525
Angels & Demons pt.4
Brian Payamps Dec 2014
As I hop up in the car loading up the clip. Bullet after bullet thinking bout the hit. Park in front of Shantel mama house looking out for Tony. Johnny catches two in an alley as they run pulling on the trigger but the comb of the glock gets jammed. I see Tony dropped nine in his ribs and 11 on the next person with him. All with in 2 minutes I hear sirens ringing. All behind that my daughter's voice clearly saying daddy don't go.  But I gave in to my demos something you wouldn't know. Wrote you this letter before in case I don't make it against the police. Hope it reaches you before you become deceased. Daddy loves you.
As the Angel shows up one last time and asked me was it all worth it? To not be able see my seed grow. To join the game that that turned your mom to a fiend though and put my two brother six feet under, am I trying to make Lucifer 's trilogy?
The game doesn't love anyone
Dec 2014 · 648
Angels & Demons pt.3
Brian Payamps Dec 2014
Wassup homie.

As he speaks about how low sales been and I agree. Forty-five a gram so hard to flip a brick. Class C ******* sold for the price of A or B. Five dollars on the gram ain't feeding my seed. Tony wants his money every Friday at 3. This is not life I'm going to drop ten in his ribs and anybody in the way is getting shot too. As Johnny states let's blast Dom his right hand too. We agree. Pick me up in 15. As I tell my grandma good bye. She looks and says "bendicion mi hijo" hug my daughter last. Daddy don't go it hurts. Only if she knew I had sold my soul and written my fate. Gave her all the money in my pocket "buy with this all you want." Even candy she replied. I said yes but not to many don't forget you don't want cavities like daddy....
Drug game tougher than a career.
Dec 2014 · 536
Angels & Demons pt.2
Brian Payamps Dec 2014
I love you too baby....

My daughter takes of her wig. She's cancer striken. Tell her go play while I hold in my hands what's now her hair. Put it to my face and tear. She hates to see me cry. Always says "I'm suppose to be the tough guy." That's when I see it. An angel in my kitchen. Not what you expect no wings but draped in white lenen. I fear it as It ask me "is all worth it? To not be able see my seed grow. To join the game that that turned your mom to a fiend though and put my two brother six feet under, am I trying to make Lucifer 's trilogy?" As I turn around to wash my face in the kitchen faucet I see another one. Just as beautiful as the first except this one has the mark of the beast triple six. "There's no other way to eat you're a felon. Did seven on a ten year bid. Came out on good behavior? Hahaha  ain't no place going to take you. This is how God loves you? Keep your nine by your waist always off safety. You don't have no friends on this game as your mother or your brother Davis." As my phone starts vibrating. Is Johnny from around the way. ...
Dec 2014 · 780
Angels and Demons pt.1
Brian Payamps Dec 2014
There's times I don't even know the answers. When having everything feels like having nothing. Walking through life alone not speaking but at times is how I feel Like a gun with a loaded clip but the barrel is still hallow. Learn to accept that bigger blessings can end in just one moment. Living in a world of betrayal wearing a facade full of valor. Taking all scenarios to the extreme. That is the pride that left us all shallow. Till im back home in your arms and I'm reminded what I fight for.

Love you daddy
Is a long story have to read all parts. .
Brian Payamps Nov 2014
Story time is what daddy use to say
Come here sit on daddy's lap
You'll always be daddy's little girl
As mother turned a blind eye
And baby girl laid a big kiss for daddy on the cheek
She is one of three
the youngest of her si..blings
Older brother gone to college
Older sister ran away to Dereks
Daddy told baby girl she was jealous
Baby girl is daddy's new favorite

Older sister high on heroine with Derek
Looking for euphoria in her whirlwind
Needle wholes tattooed on her skin
As she cried to Derek one night
O how daddy touched her
I was daddy's little girl for ever and for ever
Daddy said it and he ment it
Derek pressed daddy with the press
Funny daddy had money
Derek came up dead....
...... two days later
Bullets wholes in Dereks corpse surrounded by syringes
Older sister slit her wrist
But daddy's there to save her

You're daddy's little girl as he rushed her to the hospital
Daddys is her savior
Is how New York Times played it
Older sister back at daddy's house
Baby girl was missing her
Kisses on kisses to older sister
From daddy's favorite girl
As no one cried over Derek
Weeks gone
One day in the shower daddy walks in as older sister bathes
Fear in those eyes but daddy sees love
Daddy Scrubs her back with a sponge
You'll always be my little girl
Wether home or gone
Brian Payamps Nov 2014
"Which are You?
Those who go to bed early
Look forward to tomorrow
Those who dread the coming day
Stay up until they can see the sun
Just to make sure they'll make it." -Sara K

To Sarah k which are you?

I'm the one who wishes to sleep early looking forward for the day.
But as the night gets older I start dreading for tomorrow.
At 10 pm is two nyquil with water.
From 11 to 12 is dark liquor.
Hennessy or Remy hoping that'll do the trick
I just want to sleep until God calls me.
1230 hits I'm still wide awake
So I crush and roll and my eyes blood clot
By 1am my body is done but my mind still racing.
I take a percocet feeling if I numb the body just enough I can numb the brain and lay to rest
I don't want to see tomorrow anymore
I don't want the to sun rise.
Is winter time in NY so light has yet to hit the horizon
2,3,4, I toss, I turn
Turmoil in my train of thoughts
As if I was walking through the river of sorrows
At 5 I finally close my eyes
630 finally arrives
My window is perfectly aligned with the sun
While the rays go through my shades
And rest upon my eyes
I awake maybe wishing I would be laid to rest
Chilly morning and my day begins
Xanax for my anxiety and depression
Adderall to keep me focus and awake
Red bull for breakfast and I'm on my way.

I am the one that whish he sleeps but is always wide awake writing with blood as if it was ink.
Top poem written by Sarah K the below Poem by me. Not a compilation she inspired me this morning.
Nov 2014 · 672
Hyatt knew us well
Brian Payamps Nov 2014
Our love was fruitful
But so rotten
Far from an Adam and Eve's story
We both knew what were doing
When we were in the sheets
We both had it all and gave it up for nothing
Lust in the air every time we connect a stare
Hyatt knew us well.
Hyatt knew us well.
Nov 2014 · 1.9k
I wish I was blind
Brian Payamps Nov 2014
We don't see how much we are blessed
Until we see another in distress
I sat down next to this man on the train
Dark shades at 8 pm
Walker on his right hand
He was a blind man
Sitting next to his wife who was able to see with both eyes
Two different visions but one sight
Two different worlds collide
He held her hand with love
Far from a strong grip,
he didn't depend on her to see
When they spoke his words hit deep
He's a visionary that can't see
He whispered in her ears
Then she blushed and smiled
That's what she wants to hear....
Asked him to explain this love to me
He said words can describe
This woman right here is my beautiful wife
Indeed beautiful she is
As he sat there and described her physical appearance to me
As if he can see
The color of her eyes how they were as blue as the sky,
the way she did her hair in a ponytail,
The way her nose is shaped outwardly
And how her lips are the size of his index and ******* combined
He kept on
On The way her head tilts when he rambles bout her beauty
On how one eyes is smaller than the other when she laughs
The way she flicks her hair when she's mad
Then said but that's not love my son
I described her to you because I've touched her, felt her
You see my son I love her
My greatest gift was to be blind
Because I know her
See beyond the physical
I know her
I can dream up the perfect woman and she probably won't even come close to her
I can tell her emotions when she speaks
I don't need to see her cry
I understand when she's sick
I know how she feels by the fragrance of her skin
I just don't hear her I listen too
Her heart beat when I'm close
Her heart beat when I'm gone
That there my son is love
I don't need vision
This right here is my beautiful wife
"This stop is 191 st street" the conductor announced
He stood and she followed
He held her hand with love
Far from a strong grip, he didn't depend on her to see
All day in mind the story resides
How much I wish I was blind
Oct 2014 · 2.1k
They said
Brian Payamps Oct 2014
They said be humble
Like if they came out of my struggle
Like if it was their stomach that rumbled
They said be humble.

They said don't forget where you came from
Like if that's not from where I'm trying to escape from
The deprivation of the ghetto that we were all raised on
They said don't forget where you came from

They always say but never do
Life story volume two.
Short and sweet
Oct 2014 · 2.7k
Poets stand up
Brian Payamps Oct 2014
We are the forgotten ones
The ones who can articulate
beyond the guns and knifes.
We don't need a beat
Our word flow through emotionally.
We are here to capture and decipher minds
Teach them all those things school has left behind
How history is only written by the victor
How there's more to blacks than Rosa Parks, Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr's his..tory.
Let's not leave out the truth.
Poets stand up, fight for the youth.
We share our truth about love
Let's share the truth about knowledge
Forget the cliches of if life gives you lemons make lemonade.
We freed ourselves from the British.
Then enslaved Africa and made them forget who they were.
Only of Britain would had thought of that first.
Let's not sugar coat the past
Let's control the present and the future.
Poets stand up
We are the symphonies of hip hop, rap and r&b;
We are the class.
We are the Billy Holliday and Marvin Gay of this new era.
Like the fitted cap we fit snugg.
Poets stand up.
**** speaking on unicorns and rainbows
The sunny side of the chi.
Just last night my Lil man's got shot by the cops.
I use to say he was my son
Now I plan his funeral with his mom.
Poets stand up
Bloods, crips, gangsters, thugs re unite as the black panthers.
Poets stand up!
Poets stand up!
As they say ok ok your 15 seconds of fame Is up. No more from you today Mr. Ananymous.
Oct 2014 · 518
im a man
Brian Payamps Oct 2014
Yea I'm a man.
Never did I lay to rest
Yea I'm a man.
I got up every time I was down
Let you beat me to a pulp
Yea I'm a man.
Lost my brother at war
Lost my sister she's a *****
Lost my father and my mother
Yea I'm a man.
He died from liver cancer
She died from aids
As I walk proud
Every body whispers there goes the child of....
Yea I'm a man.
Never did I cry
When he died
When she left
When they died
Everything I had, the street snatched

I'm a man.
Wore this camouflage and I shot
Every men, women, and children
Came to town and burned the city down
I'm a man.
Taped his eyes open
So he can watch me **** his wife
Pray I said pray
Pray I said pray
I'm a man.
They recruited me
Knowing my troubled mind
Gave me a gun
Said you live or die
Now you are asking why?
You asked me to share war stories
Now don't tell me that's a crime
I was only 18 it was their life or mine
She enjoyed it
Some called for God, some for Allah
When I was done they both tasted the barrel of my gun
Don't question my manly hood
I killed for the air in your lung
I'm a man.
Just don't know what kind of man.
This is not based on any particular country's military before anyone gets offended but if the shoe fits
Oct 2014 · 1.3k
Pray for me (Voices)
Brian Payamps Oct 2014
Lost the passion for the art. That poetic justice I use to bring forward from the heart. Is that what made me real? If so I'm just as fake as Roman Cathology. Am i that book you tired of reading? laying on a shelf fighting dust bunnies. If so tell me where the passion go. Tell me where's the love I lost. I remember how you stroke my pages. How you opened me in half and just past your fingers through my body Oo. how much you read. For hours we were there on your bed. Just us, or you forgot. You had  no one left. Don't you miss my sensitive skin and Out lining of gold. Your favorite King James edition. I... I mean did you really trade religion for idealism. Didn't I help you preach unity. Tell me who have you left behind even Luis Farrakon was mentioned in your lines. Perfectly a lined to make the the next one better, and the old ones new like a retro pair nines. Tell me where's this woman we call justice or she a man. She beats us then she feeds us. Lost in my thoughts. Hard to understand the turmoil when you have won and you lost.
Oct 2014 · 296
Brian Payamps Oct 2014
I told her,
don't look away
As I sit here and stare.
And write about every inch of your face to the last strand of your hair.
Next page