Since day one you’ve put me to the test
Month 11 and you don’t even consider me your best
I try to do this I try to do that
Trading in my *** for tat
But nothing is ever enough

This relationship is getting tough
You tell me you have doubts
I’m in school busting my *** and you’re
worried about clout

It’s not fair
Tired of losing all this hair
You make me stress
I’m a ******* mess
If I’m not what you want, then leave me
Stop telling me everything I’m not and what you wish I would be

If I’m not the girl of your dreams then there’s no reason for you to buy a ring
Don’t waste your time and don’t you dare waste mine
**** is hard enough with our age
I don’t see why you need to add all the rage
You tell me Ive got better qualities than hoes
Well **** I guess once a play boy always a play boy and if that’s what you compare me to then go back to those

You said you’re heartless and I’m starting to ******* believe it
You say I carry myself like a *** then go ahead and say with a blunt “my bad” and ******* leave it

I deserve respect
I’ve been nothing but loyal to you no matter what your insecure ******* detects
You continue to project your ex onto me
As you sit there and tell me to push you into the Atlantic sea

Well I’m drowning and tired of your half thought out decisions
Each pain-filled lie you say to me is like a ******* incision

You say I’m too good to be true
So why the **** does a blood like you not care when you make me blue?

I’m like fries,
Everyone wants me...
But only as a side.

You’re a polar teacher
Taught me how to smile while I’m aching
Taught me how to laugh until my body started shaking
Taught me what it’s like to be important
Taught me how to push myself when I thought I couldn’t
These are wonderful things that you helped me learn
But there are some lessons that make me burn
You taught me how to cry in silence to not cause a scene
You taught me that there’s a point where all I can do is collapse and scream
You taught me trust is something that can break
You taught me that there’s only so much I can take

I lay in bed
Thinking clouds above my head
A thunderstorm of cumulonimbus clouds
Dark thoughts overcrowd

I try to force a happy subject through
But I'm still blue
The thoughts are in control
And they begin to take roll
1. Death
Deep breath
2. Loneliness
Heart full of emptiness
3. Mind overrun with fears
Eyes flooded with tears
4. Exhaustion
Only one option

I fall asleep
And I no longer weep
I wake up and get out of bed
Without memory with a rainbow overhead

I'm a pretty big pencil
And when the smaller pencils talk about me
I become dull
When I get dull I become depressed
I shave off some layers to get smaller
They still pick
I shave some more
I shave and shave until I'm smaller than them
I wish I was bigger but I can't be so I shave more
Now I am so small no one can see me
I am alone

It took a year to get over you
To store you away in my memories with a wall that couldn't be broke through

To Learn how to look away in the hallways
To walk straight and not runaway
To put aside the anger
To hang the blame up on a hanger

Then you come and talk to me
You let those memories break free
My eyes can only fix on your eyes
I'd follow you up into the skies

I glow with happiness
I fill with fuzziness
What's wrong with you?
After all you put me through?!

Now I fear
It's gonna be another year

Stumbling around in the same circle
Only hearing words that are hurtful
My hand cover my ears
My eyes flooded with tears
Make up running down my face
Mind racing all over the place

Questions spin
In the end, did you win?
Was it something I wore...that made you call me a *****?
Could I have done more...to keep you from walking out the door?
My heart you tore...and you threw the halves on the floor?!

The first boy to say "I love you"
And the first boy to say "I hate you"
Said I was perfection
Now you can add my heart to your collection

Friends since elementary school
Stuck with me even when I acted like a fool
A soccer star
Beat me in every scrimmage by far
I went to hra
Our friendship turned to grey

Two years pass apart
I figure he had no room left for me in his heart
I miss that laugh and smile
But then I see him at legacy practice and he says "it's been a while"

That night he's in my dreams
We dance forever it seems
I wake up all cheery and glee
I find out that next day, he had dreamed of me

We dance under the moon and stars
In a ballroom on planet Mars
He in a suit and bow
My gown draped down to my toe
The room is full with couples from across the  Galaxy

But he is the only one I see
His hands on my waist as they should be
And mine on his shoulders as count one-two-three
The song ends and I curtsy and smile
He kisses my hand and says I'll see you in a while

You are as sharp as a knife
When some aren't careful, you could cause them their life
So dangerous yet so fragile and used every day
In the shower, on a hook across from me, you lay

You make me soft as a cloud
Or make me cry out load
You don't last more than 2 weeks
And for the girls that might forget you, get called freaks

So let's please make a deal
And let me express what I feel
If I hold you every night before bed
Don't make my arms and legs turn red

I didn't fall for him
I simply tripped

You make me laugh and cry
You say horrid things to me and never explain why
Why do you make fun
When I sometimes think of you as more than the sun

I think it's cute when you subtly flirt
But your repulsive when you treat me like dirt
You will act like a fool
And don't care if you are cool

Overall you're not that bad
You just sometimes make me a little sad
I know if I told you my feelings you would flip
So when I want to hide my smile I'll just bite my lip

You are the fisherman and I am the trout
You cast out sweet compliments as bait
I swim around as temptation grows stronger
I take the bait and it's wonderful for a short time

Soon to find out you were just leading me on
Then stab me, when I thought you were being kind
The pain grows stronger as I try to swim away from you

You reel in my soul and collect another heart
In the end, you were the player who won the game.

Trust is like a rubber band

It is thin but will stretch with you

When you trust in someone you both hold onto an end of the rubber band

The person who lets go hurts you

Leaving you alone and damaged

He said I'm beautiful and his number one
How was I supposed to know that next he would say "we're done!"

He said he loved me more than anyone he's ever met
I saw him staring at her and he began to sweat

He said he cared
But he now he says I meant nothing which is something I can hardly bear

I gave him my heart
Still he continues to tear it apart

To him I could never say no
But today all he says is "you're a ***!"

He was the best guy I ever met
And although he is ashamed of the thought of ever liking me, he is someone I will never be able to forget

They expect me to be as smart as Einstein

To have the body of an Olympic athlete

Show kindness to everyone even if they have hurt me

Deal with my own problems

To shut the hell up when I curse

They say THEIR world doesn't revolve around me

But they don't understand that right now MY world revolves around them

I hate secrets
They play games with my emotions and remain undefeated
Jumping on top of my heart forcing it to beat faster

Eating away at my soul
Making my hands shake with fear
Trying to push the words out of my mouth

Secrets use a wrecking ball to destroy all my sense of right and wrong
They raise my blood pressure
**** the goodness out of me like leeches
Steal from my bank of judgement until there is an empty vault
I hate secrets....especially when they are my own

Life is like a bowl of lemons, sickly sour

Life is like a boat ride, breezy and beautiful

Life is like a test, searching to destroy you

Life is like a star, shining bright in the dark

Life is like a collapsing building, unstable and broken

Life is like a field of flowers, pleasant and pretty

A loved one to hold close to you

It's a shoulder to cry on when your feeing sad

Loyal because its with you the whole night and will be there when you wake up in the morning

Listens to you talk about your fears and thoughts

What if men were like pillows?

Let me fly away from my mistakes

Let me fly away from the people I've hurt

Let me fly away from the people who want to hurt me

Let me fly away from the prison in my mind

Let me fly away from my thoughts

Let me fly away from my fears

Let me break the chains that tie me to my past

Let me be free

I hear your voice
One tear falls

I see you in the halls
A stream forms on my cheeks

I see your hand clutching hers
A River starts to flow

I see you kiss her on the cheek
An ocean of tears engulfs my face

I see you look at me and then away
I drown in sorrow

A circus lives inside my head

Fortune tellers control my fears

Clowns are in charge of my humor

All you can eat contests make me crave certain foods

A Ferris wheel of thoughts

A merry-go-round of emotions

Jugglers toss around my decisions

Fun House mirrors showing my insecurities

Face painters create my expressions

When will I become the ring master of my mind?

I am a generous girl

Boys ask me for a piece of paper

Boys ask me for a pencil or pen

Boys text me to find out what the homework was

Boys text me to find out what my friends number is

Boys partner up with me to get an A on the assignment

Boys partner up with me so they don't have to do any work

Boys don't look twice at me

Boys don't think about me

Boys like giggly girls

Boys like dumber girls

But that's okay because I'm a generous girl and I will go far

Let's pretend we never split apart

Let's pretend my heart was never broken

Let's pretend that she never existed

Let's pretend it was just you and me

Let's pretend there were no secrets between us

Let's pretend you meant it when you said "I love you"

Let's pretend that you liked me for more than my body

The only way you and I could still be together is if we pretended everything before never happened

The world is an aquarium

We all have a tank

With a paragraph of information about us next to our tank

When people see you they notice your looks and move on

If you are a tall skinny blond boy with blue eyes the girls will stop and get to know you

If you are a shorter boy with brown hair who has acne and is wider people might just move onto the next exhibit

The people in the tanks can't tell what they people on the outside are saying

But they don't care

They are all unique and they know that

People will always judge but they are not the ones you should try and impress

You are the only one who can truly judge you

You steal the place of a prince when you look into my eyes

You steal my words when you kiss me

You steal my ability to move with just your touch

You steal my insecurities when you embrace me

You steal a joke just to see a smile on my face

You steal a light so I begin to glow

In return for all you steal you give me your heart <3

The Sharpie X on my hand stands out against my pale white skin

It says "you are a child"

With it a thirteen-year-old is equally restricted as a twenty-year-old

The sharpie X means no alcohol and it means no trust

It says "you are a liar"

With it they are making sure that you don't lie about your age to get alcohol

Is that what every person under twenty-one is?
A liar?
A kid?

I devote my day to you

I dress nice for you

I show up on time for you

I work my plans around you

But some days...

I ditch you to go hang out with my friends

Maybe I forgot to do laundry and wear something *****

I might be late because I overslept

My other plans are more important

Thank you for being understanding and not giving up on me

I love...nevermind

I thought you...nevermind

Are you and her...nevermind

Can I have your...nevermind

Would you like to go on a...nevermind

Do you like...nevermind

You will never know unless you ask

When people were created we were given two important abilities

We were given the ability to heal
And the ability to hurt

When we are hurt and can't heal ourselves we resolve to revenge

Revenge is the devil inside us
We get filled with rage and our eyes turn black
We become demons

"He hurt me and should share the same pain" says your heart

You listen and destroy him
But what now?
Your eyes become grey and dead
Feelings of grief and regret overwhelm you

You apologize to him
And get back together
Just to make the mistake all over again

Fear lives inside us all
It moves throughout our bodies
It makes our hands shake like earthquakes
It walks all over our brains turning our senses to mush
It hits our hearts like a punching bag forcing the heart beat faster
It blocks your nose so you breathe heavy from your mouth
It stands on your head ripping out hairs one after the next
It pulls your eyelids shut like a blinds on a window
You can't open your eyes and so you squeeze tighter
There's no way to see where you are and who might be with you
So you back up into a corner and slide to the ground until the sun comes up
The sun forces all the tears back inside you
You may not be able to see it but fear is always there

I hate you for being embarrassed of me
I forgave you for saying I'm beautiful

I hate you for ignoring me
I forgave you for saying I was your number one

I hate you for only looking at the outside of me
I forgave you when you held my hand

I hate you for leaving me
I forgave you for being honest

I hate you for saying you loved her more than you ever loved me
I will never forgive you for that

He asks for my number
Should I give it to him?
Who knows what he will do with it
Can I trust him?
It's only seven digits
But it's my seven digits...
I do like him but it's not like we will get married
Will we get married?
It's possible but still very unlikely
What if he is the "one"?!
He could be the one
Yes I'll give him my number

You don't know if u love someone until it's too late
You give them your heart trusting them
They'll keep it safe and care for it until you two are over

They still have your heart
When they call you names like ***** or ******* the heart weakens
You still love them so the heart still beats

Once they say "I hate you"
The heart stops
All the love for them is drained from your heart

They give your heart back broken
And leave it to you to pick up the pieces
Taking the love you had for them and tossing it away

she sits patiently
waiting for the light to shine on her
Her tears blind her
Unable to speak because of shadow's grief
The person who owns the shadow is small
But the shadow is ever so large

The girl screams I have potential!
She runs but the shadow holds onto her
She fights and fights to try to find the light
She stops realizing she will always be in the shadow

There's no point crying or screaming or running
So she sits looking into the shadow
The girl whispers to herself I am nothing without the light

Whether your dancing to macherina or the anaconda you should stay true to you

Just because the popular girl side-steps right doesn't mean it's wrong to side-step left

Move your feet to your own beat

People will always Judge you but don't give into defeat

Don't stand glued to the floor  like a statue

Why should they bring your attitude down? Never let them see you frown

dance as you please

Ignore the people who try to tease