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Since day one you’ve put me to the test
Month 11 and you don’t even consider me your best
I try to do this I try to do that
Trading in my *** for tat
But nothing is ever enough

This relationship is getting tough
You tell me you have doubts
I’m in school busting my *** and you’re
worried about clout

It’s not fair
Tired of losing all this hair
You make me stress
I’m a ******* mess
If I’m not what you want, then leave me
Stop telling me everything I’m not and what you wish I would be

If I’m not the girl of your dreams then there’s no reason for you to buy a ring
Don’t waste your time and don’t you dare waste mine
**** is hard enough with our age
I don’t see why you need to add all the rage
You tell me Ive got better qualities than hoes
Well **** I guess once a play boy always a play boy and if that’s what you compare me to then go back to those

You said you’re heartless and I’m starting to ******* believe it
You say I carry myself like a *** then go ahead and say with a blunt “my bad” and ******* leave it

I deserve respect
I’ve been nothing but loyal to you no matter what your insecure ******* detects
You continue to project your ex onto me
As you sit there and tell me to push you into the Atlantic sea

Well I’m drowning and tired of your half thought out decisions
Each pain-filled lie you say to me is like a ******* incision

You say I’m too good to be true
So why the **** does a blood like you not care when you make me blue?
I’m like fries,
Everyone wants me...
But only as a side.
You’re a polar teacher
Taught me how to smile while I’m aching
Taught me how to laugh until my body started shaking
Taught me what it’s like to be important
Taught me how to push myself when I thought I couldn’t
These are wonderful things that you helped me learn
But there are some lessons that make me burn
You taught me how to cry in silence to not cause a scene
You taught me that there’s a point where all I can do is collapse and scream
You taught me trust is something that can break
You taught me that there’s only so much I can take
I lay in bed
Thinking clouds above my head
A thunderstorm of cumulonimbus clouds
Dark thoughts overcrowd

I try to force a happy subject through
But I'm still blue
The thoughts are in control
And they begin to take roll
1. Death
Deep breath
2. Loneliness
Heart full of emptiness
3. Mind overrun with fears
Eyes flooded with tears
4. Exhaustion
Only one option

I fall asleep
And I no longer weep
I wake up and get out of bed
Without memory with a rainbow overhead
I'm a pretty big pencil
And when the smaller pencils talk about me
I become dull
When I get dull I become depressed
I shave off some layers to get smaller
They still pick
I shave some more
I shave and shave until I'm smaller than them
I wish I was bigger but I can't be so I shave more
Now I am so small no one can see me
I am alone
It took a year to get over you
To store you away in my memories with a wall that couldn't be broke through

To Learn how to look away in the hallways
To walk straight and not runaway
To put aside the anger
To hang the blame up on a hanger

Then you come and talk to me
You let those memories break free
My eyes can only fix on your eyes
I'd follow you up into the skies

I glow with happiness
I fill with fuzziness
What's wrong with you?
After all you put me through?!

Now I fear
It's gonna be another year
Stumbling around in the same circle
Only hearing words that are hurtful
My hand cover my ears
My eyes flooded with tears
Make up running down my face
Mind racing all over the place

Questions spin
In the end, did you win?
Was it something I wore...that made you call me a *****?
Could I have done keep you from walking out the door?
My heart you tore...and you threw the halves on the floor?!

The first boy to say "I love you"
And the first boy to say "I hate you"
Said I was perfection
Now you can add my heart to your collection
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