The images I see
Are nothing more than daydreams,
that keep replaying.
Sweet melodies reciting words that will never be said.

Leave me again
Where you left me the last time
I’m eager to feel something familiar
This temporary high I get from you
Is bound to end
The familiar feeling of being lost
Will be more than comforting

It's far too overwhelming for me to be so open
To place my whole heart
My whole being
Inside the palms of another human

i could write about cute nights and romantic times
but in the dead of this night, i can't seem to think of one.

i wish i could love you
or i wish i could love anyone
I'm just not ready for it
not yet at least
maybe not at all
or ever

what would i do if i was alone forever?
what about i do with i wasn't alone forever?
where would i go or who would i be with?

inside my head is a strew of magnificent colors
and endless possibilities
excitement and eagerness
the idea of not knowing is scary
to most
but i find it intriguing

curiosity is a beautiful inspiration

I think I'll miss you.

Possibly more in the morning.

The nights with be rough,
Like the seas during storms.

But the mornings with be tragic,
Like all the lives lost in the titanic.

The pieces have been picked up
They've been put back in their places
But I still feel so scattered

Baby come home with me
You're mine for a week
I'll show what love is
And what it means
When I'm done I'll toss you away
You'll be just another fish in the sea

My lips are pierced shut
While my brain is scattering across the floor.
Everything is spilling out in front of you.
I'm breaking down
And loosing composure.

Struggling to collect the the pieces
In time before you make sense of it all.
Tiny fragments of grey matter
Covered in words you should have never read.

I am made entirely of scars and bruises that could never possibly heal or go away and the spaces between them are places I've left open for you to use as you please.

Jameson from the bottle
Bedroom floors
Faded stars
I told you all the secrets
And you swore you'd keep them
Wasted words
drunken love
Promises that would be broken
I feel naked
I'm fully clothed
my heart
In his hand
As I tried to steal his soul

If my heart was a seed
And sprouted veins
That wanted to bloom
The bud would be you.
Blue petals of a Forgetmenot
That he picked
And quietly said "she loves me, she loves me not".
I would wince with each *****
In marvelous pain.
Closing in on each moment that you held the fragile stem between strong fingers.
Every bit would float away with the wind,
Casting your wishes into the sky.
When the stem is finally bare
And you thow it to the ground
I'll be left for dead,
But just know she loved you.
And as the remaining wilts
You'll be forgetting
But I will always be remembering
Hoping all your wishes come true.

My mind drifts on days like this.
Endless nights spent drinking Jameson from the bottle.
Stars faded,
I told you all my secrets
And you swore to keep them.

It hit like a bullet through the heart,
The words he wrote so long ago,
"I won’t let these little things slip, but if I do, it's you, that was all I ever cared about ”.
A sad excuse for a spin off of "Little Things”.
It was sad but it was mine.
The memory of those lyrics lingered,
In the back of my mind for sometime,
Inevitably trying my damnedest to forget.
But this morning came with rain and regret,
As I scrolled through deleted emails.
Job declines and too many college acceptances left my head spinning,
Down to words that screamed so vibrantly.
It hurt to scan the letters, but I did,
I almost shed a tear, but I smiled instead.
My eyes wallowed with warm water,
For me breathe out a sigh of release.

My heart is clenched
and my throat full,
Still choking back tears
and hating every word
I am once again,
overcome with hope.

We laid motionless for days,
Your fingertip touch calmed me.
The dark lingered forever.
Our clothes laid in piles on the floor,
And we held each other for the last time.

stop talking about the girl you once knew,
how you loved her so well.
she that consumes so much of you
was only a mere fraction of myself,
a small part that could never last.
our love was endangered,
and though I saw from the start
we plunged into the darkness, head first.
now look at us,
our hearts have been splattered across these four walls.

I wonder where my heads been,
When I wake up & forget what's my first move.
I've been pacing back and forth for days,
Since Friday all I can see is your green eyes.
When I find it, I'll ask where the **** it's been at.

Eyes are empty these days,
Smiles more often forced.
Wondering if I'm only see what I want.
Is his smile genuine?
Maybe he is happy.
Maybe I refuse to believe it.

These thoughts run on tracks
that intertwine and crash.

I knew the day would come.
My heart swelled and shattered
Like glass off of my ribcage,
It was nothing but dust now.
In an instant my heart became soluble.
Without warning,
my heart was inevitably yours once more.
I wanted you to never come back
I hoped you would make your home in Boston.
My delicate heart was not ready for you so soon
And I was not ready to give my heart away.
Especially to you.
But she ran from me,
Slipped through the cracks in my rib cage
and ran straight for you.

So here I am still sitting in silence
Still replaying impracticable situations
That will never become reality.
My heart is long gone now,
She always ran faster than my head.
With a mind of her own,
I am now heartless

I spent most of my mornings looking for you
Three AM was our time
I stood on the street and waited
The sun started to rise at six so I walked back home
I can only imagine where you are
But I hope it someplace where the sun lights your face
And you are free
I spent all year looking for someone like you
I did
He was the epitome of everything I wanted you to be
So I set him free
I'm only finding summer soul mates
To ruin what you left of me.
I'm still looking for you
I pray that I'll find you searching for me.
I question what difference it will make when I unfold the truth.
My answer is always the same
But I picture your smile the moment I breathe in the spring air
I'll spend my summer in dandelion fields while I try to convince you to come home.

Everything I touch turns dust
Maybe I ask for too much
Or maybe it's just that I deserve to be at loss.
In the end, it's always a lesson learned
Or a chance to gain more than I thought I could.
I might loose things
Or be blamed for letting them fade
But I have no room for regret
Or time for I wish I hads.

You can hold it against me
You can give me all your ***** looks
I promise to hold on to them
As a reminder that I'm better off.

You remind me of an endless Summers.
Summers that last a lifetime.
The sky could be filled with clouds continuously spilling rain,
Our eyes meet and you are the sunshine,
maybe brighter.
Together, a rainbow seen after the storm.
Blending colors into each other,
Like us in the dead of the night under sheets and covers.
Everything is complimented so beautifully.
Friends standing and admiring the beauty of rainbows,
Similar to the ways they admired us.
How could one forget hearing how perfect something is?

Although today, that feels like forever ago,
It’s still etched in my brain so vivid like it was yesterday.
I watched the storm roll in,
I watched the clouds cover the sun in your eyes,
And I saw the rainbow fade
Not even Mother Nature could stop that hurricane.

I had that dream again.
The one that leaves me wishing I could sleep forever.
For in my dream you are mine,
In my dream you are kind.
When you say goodbye,
I don't worry when the next time your hand will be in mine.
For I know the constant of your heart will keep me sound.

In this dream.
The that keeps my eyes from drying
You look at me the way I always remembered,
Your precious face melted my heart
While your eyes softened and you whispered you missed me.
I was undoubtedly assured this young love would be forever.
The kind of love that grows old and keeps the heart young.
The kind that makes your stomach sick with hope.

What a heart wrenching feeling it is to wake up from such bliss.
Dragging this heavy heart from its bed, I smiled and let the sun dry my tears.

I wonder what its like to be you
You make forgetting look so easy,
Is it that easy?
Its hard for me.
Its not easy to forget.
Not for me at least.

The past two years really never happened,
It was all a series of dreams I dreamt.
I slept a whole two years,
Finally waking up to find myself in love.
I had fallen in love with someone who only existed in my dreams.

Its been sometime since I woke up from my sleep.
I’m finding you still haunt me.
I only wish to fall asleep again,
I only wish to dream those dreams again.

You said, "it's all about the wordplay."
I'm sorry that you couldn't be my remedy.

I tried to see your face yesterday
I wanted to see something familiar.
Nothing was the same,
Nothing felt like home.
It wasn't how I remembered it.

I would love to tell you that today was just like any other, but it wasn’t.
You were there whispering, “I’m still right here.”
I couldn’t see you but I knew it was you
Just waiting for the perfect moment to remind me of my worst days
It's funny that it rained today, the one thing I hate and the one thing that leaves me reminiscing about you
I swear any song that was ever ours, played. Some played twice.
I thought I had deleted The Counting Crows album from my phone
Remember the album I played while we made love in our hotel room last year
Was that love?
I can’t seem to tell or remember now
But I know that Anna Begins was playing while we dozed off afterwards
It played twice in my car today.
I needed black leggings for the outfit I had chosen for my date tonight
The only ones I could find were the ones you bought me.
I put them on and that song you sang me started to play on pandora
I hit next.
It played again as I was leaving to go meet my date
This time, I let it play.
I had lunch at the restaurant today and asked why the toy dinosaur was behind the bar,
they said it was yours.
I asked to see it and then threw it on the ground.
Your co workers mentioned how miserable you have been towards them
I changed the subject.
I went to the gym after and saw you there
I walked behind you all the way out to the parking lot but you didn't notice.
On the way home there was traffic, I figured it was typical for the way my day had been going
It was all due to a tractor trailer who couldn't make a turn
I was proud of his determination
I also realized he had no choice but to make the turn
I watched patiently as he backed up and pulled forward a number of times
It reminded me of myself just trying to make a turn so I could move in the right direction
He made it after approximately two minutes of me waiting in traffic
Though to me it felt like I was sitting in traffic watching a tractor trailer struggle to make a turn for four months The four miserable months I spent just trying to make a turn

I can't help but wonder what the conversation would have entailed if he had turned around
I can't help but think it would have been a sad and quick exchange of awkward faces and hellos
I can't help but create the conversation in my head that I hoped we would have had
This is when I realize it's better that he kept walking
This is when I realize I am better off without him
This is when I'm flooded with all the nightmaric memories of why I can't stand him
Now I find it ironic that the rain reminds me of you, because I hate the rain

She started to walk faster without realizing she was trying to catch up to him
At that moment she lessened her pace but didn't fall too short of his steps
She walked behind him with a safe but still dangerously close distance
He wore the limited edition Olympic head phones on
The ones she bought him for his birthday just last year
He always liked to think of himself has the next Michael Phelps
He could have been had he not doubted himself so much  
She knew he was listening to his own rap music that he wrote
He was arrogant like that
He always liked to think of himself has a musical artist
He could have had he not doubted himself so much
Mildly, she hoped the noise ringing through his ears was about her and not the disaster he's been seeing recently
This story would get more interesting if he had turned around to notice her
Ultimately she knew he wouldn't
And he didn't.
He walked out the door, and she, not too far behind, did the same
He ran through the rain to his car and she walked slowly through the rain, in the opposite direction to hers.