You are the reason can't you see?
I am begging you please stop crushing me
I am so tired of this
I can't remember the last time I woke up feeling ready for the day
I must let you go
you don't even want to stay

This is unhealthy and I know it so why am I always coming back?
I thought I was stronger than this but I guess I was wrong I am just a hopeless wreck

I think I fell for the idea of you and I find it hard to believe that the things I thought about you were just a beautiful lie, my deepest wishes projecting onto you
Now all that's left for me is to cry

She had words splattered in ink all over her bare skin
Filling her with self doubt
Staining her confidence
Shutting her mouth

Everytime she was hurting a new word appeared
By this time there was no clean space left
The only color she saw was black and the blackest of all was her heart

The things you said are printed on her forever like the tattoo that you regret
She's desperately trying to forget

Scraping the words that once crushed her
Sadly they always appear again at night
They will never be gone

We were both broken
Leaving pieces of us in memories from a happier past
Holding each other so we won't fall apart
Thank god I have you
Life's not that hard when you are standing by my side
Let's just keep following this path

Sometimes we trip over while we are chasing better tomorrows
Stumbling, twisting, losing the way..
But I know we'll be fine
if together we stay
I'll help you slowly forget your sorrows

Lean on me and I'll lean on you that's what you said to me and since then I knew we would be fixed eventually

I feel like I am living in my head
The outside world just doesn't seem real
It's more like a dream
Or should I say a nightmare?
Who will help me clear my thoughts?
Who will pull me out of despair? Will it be you?
I am all alone wide awake at midnight
Daydreaming about what my life could be if I changed my ways
You should be by my side but you said you needed space
finally I am seeing the light
It's the sun reminding me I haven't slept again
I promise I will treat you right
please don't break my soul again

I woke up with an emotional hangover this morning
I think I felt too much yesterday
Is there a pill that I can take to save me before I break?
For the loss of myself I'm mourning

a stranger is staring at me from the reflection in the mirror now
I drown in silence as I go downstairs
I wish I could show you how
behind this fake smile I am restless

The coffee tastes so blunt
It won't help me today
It's like I've lost the ability to enjoy the things I used to love
Something has changed and I've lost myself along the way

The stars were falling and we were falling too
and that night I asked if you will let me stay with you
Because I never feel more at home than when I'm in your arms
and my biggest weakness is you staring into my eyes
We are like two planets being pulled together
I can't run from you and I would never
It doesn't have to be so hard
Just let me be yours and promise you'll be mine

I feel like a fool laying in my bed opened eyes,  my thoughts are sad
I am blaming insomnia but that's not what's keeping me awake
            It's the thought of you
Your gorgeous smile, your deep green eyes
        running through my head
          You are calling me baby
        but do you really mean it?
        Overthinking, imaginating
         I am wishing I was dead
Can we make it or should we break it    before one of us gets hurt?
I am a fool a fool for your presence
    Is this a broken heart in making?

If you only knew that it was partly your fault that I felt this way
Because I don't know where I stand with you and it's making me insane

I am screaming
Trying to get you to notice
But you never seem to hear my cries
What exactly are your motives?
What's behind those little lies?

Maybe you are just like me
made from a fragile glass
Scared to let anybody in
Scared you'll be broken into pieces
But trust me I won't ever let this happen
and if it does happen I will put you together
Always

What a gorgeous sunflower you are
warm like a hot sunny day in the park
Little glowing light in the dark

Soft like freshly baked bread
I can't get enough of you
Your polaroid pictures are stuck in my head

I breathe you in as if it was my last breath
Your scent makes me lose the grip of reality
All I want to do now is to take you to my bed
So we can travel to
                                     infinity

When in your presence there's no worry
You only make me feel so holy
I want to be closer to your divine
I'll do everything to make you happy
If you agree to be mine

Biting my lips
Ripping the skin
Sitting, waiting, contemplating
My legs are shaking
Breaths breaking
palms are heavy
Heart is racing
Cold sweat
eyes full of fear
Tears running down my face
In need of an embrace
But no one else is here

I've nearly lost all hope
Worried that no one will ever get me
That I am unworthy of love and closeness
Thought it was better to erase this part of me
It only made me feel so worhless

I've decided to never let anyone else in
To built around walls so hight that they could almost reach the sky
But than you came in and I felt a tiny spark go off again
While touching your skin

Making my stone cold heart feel a bit warmer
It took me by surprise
This was something I had forgotten
pushed to the back of my mind
And suddenly I see you in every sunrise

I hate that I care so much
I hate how much you affect my day
How when you text me I feel alive
but when you are ignoring me the next day I die a little bit inside

Why would you paint such a beautiful  picture in my head
When you know you can't love me back
Your thoughts are still going to a different girl but mine keep holding onto you
How do I do this? We are both hurting but for different lovers

I wish we could work
I wish you would realize that I would give you my world but no you don't care as much as I do I am just a rebound for all you knew
And you know what I hate the most?
I hate that after all you put me through I am still in love with you

Maybe one day
We will run together through the meadows feeling the sun kissing our smiling faces
Leaving behind our dark shadows
Traveling to different places

Maybe one day
I will wake up feeling energized and optimistic
My thoughts will be clear, bright and realistic

Maybe one day
I'll start viewing the world like a child again
exploring everything with endless curiosity
cherishing every little detail
spreading only positivity

Maybe one day
I'll be waking up with you curled up next to me under the blankets
Hearing your raspy morning voice
Cooking you your favorite breakfest

Maybe one day
Love will conquer all the hatred
Everybody will be equal
No more discrimination or being manipulated

Maybe one day...

Mess in my room and mess in my mind
Lately I've been obsessed with making these islands out of clothes on the ground
If the room is ***** that's how you know I've been depressed
and that's how I've been feeling for a long time to be honest

So please don't judge me I'm not lazy
The thoughts that I have are just making me crazy
and I am sorry I can't deal with my **** right now
I wish I could but I don't know how

I am
    am
         m
         am I?

It's there again
The feeling of rejection planted inside my heart
I feel it growing bigger and bigger with every passing day
                       like a tree
     the roots are tearing me apart
it hurts not only emotionally but physically too
and it's all happening just because of you

          Filling my lungs with dust
         I can't breathe, I can't speak
Despite the torture my eyes are still filled with hopeless lust

     Now I am covered up with leaves    
The branches are slowly suffocating me
           Pinning me to the ground
                I need to get back up
           I need to escape somehow
      What if this feeling never leaves?

I am a disaster
You better run faster
if you don't want to be pulled down the misery hole
These words are all unspoken
It's worse than being broken
living is a mystery fall

So don't you stay still
keep climbing up the hill
You don't want to be near this mess
Follow your wild instincts
Be driven by your feelings
That way you might escape the stress

Maybe one day you will save me
but today it's not the time
so don't look behind you and stay on the line

Trapped in an prescripted plan
Held back by unwritten rules of the human clan

I wander down the dark alleyways and I hear them whisper
You should do that! You should do this!
You're not a kid anymore stop the whimper!
Forget those foolish naive dreams!

As I get older those whispers get louder
I hear them scream
Go to college! Find a partner! Work from dust till dawn to satisfy the hunger for the papers so intoxicating, so beautifuly green!

But what is this for if it doesn't bring me joy?
What if I don't want to live the same boring life as they all did?
egoistic without purpose so horribly materialistic

No! That is not the path I want to take
I'll rather be broke than fake
I'll rather be single than in the arms of a snake
I'll rather be uncertain than certain about every little detail

Set me free so I can be what I was always destined to be
I'll find real happines for me and I don't need you all to agree

You are beautiful
No matter your size, skin color, religion or sexuality
Don't ever let anyone doubt that
Life would be boring without diversity

You are beautiful
and the lenght of your dress tonight doesn't justify anyone calling you a **** nor gives them permission to grab your tight
Only you can give them consent
And remember to say no is your right

You are beautiful
wear those strechmarks with pride
They are perfectly normal and natural
Don't look at them as flaws
Your body is a miracle that you don't need to hide

You are beautiful

You've led me on
But at least now I know where to go
Before I was up in the clouds
Today I fell back on the rocky grounds

I am fine I tell to myself
In hope it will supress the pain
I try not to think about it
There's always a rainbow after a rain
right?

Please tell me that's the case
I can't stand the thought of your face
I need my save space a place where I can let it out
a warm embrace from someone I care about

I only write when I'm sad
Does that make me mad?
When I wish to be dead
And all these holded tears are shed
I turn to poetry and suddenly life's not as bad

What if there were no words?
Would the comunication be harder or easier?
Would we overthink as much as we do right now?
Maybe we would imagine situations instead of phrases we've learned from bad movies

Our lifes would be ruled by actions
Not by silly games we play with letters

Looking at your eyes would have even deeper meaning because that would be the only way to get to know a piece of your mind

Maybe the connection between people would be deeper and more pure
no social media, loud ads or cursing
Just existing together in the wierd place that is the earth