when i am alone
i stand firm in myself
like a boulder in the ocean
but when i love
the tide is too strong
and i am too often swept away
why do i try so hard
to formulate my own center of gravity
if i so easily let someone else
become the moon around which i orbit
if i am a planet
with my own biome
why do i let someone else
control the weather
i am growing older
and i cannot flourish
without letting someone else
come along and destroy my garden
i am writing again because i am hurting again.