Darkness falls & Darkness Hides..
Darkness on the walls and Darkness in the sky's...
Darkness in you all just look into the eyes.
Can darkness save lives?
Light is shining but the light is dim, the night is here and it seems so grim...
If Darkness comes it will flow from within.
Let us join together to control this force
Let us hold hands and enter the void..
The light is there just take one more step,
Enter the well, let us enter next.

"Abandon all hope, ye who enter..." a sign spoke, as we lowered in the the pit I saw smoke.

This wasn't a wishing well, but instead we had stumbled upon the gates of Hell.
Climb up and abandon your friends to head home or enter inside and save their souls?
A journey of the truest test and a quest unlike any of the rest. A Land of damnation and utter doom. pain and cries from every corner, bloom.
Do you have the strength and courage or are you a coward and vermin?
What can protect you in a voyage such as this? Faith and Hope and the ability to resist?
Venture fourth and vanquish this evil and find something within that is far more than equal.
Find yourself, find your friends and return home. Use the light to help and in the end peace will find you along this road.

This journey has merely begun.. so what shall you choose? Will you stay?.. or should you run?..

What is Love? Part 6: Home

Why is it we love so deeply? Is it for romance? Is it to reassure our significant other that they mean so much to us or perhaps it is because we see ourselves in others.. or something more, so we conjure up this energy to try and prove to them their worth towards us. This never ending declaration of unconditional, inexplicable and yet some how, profound love. A love so powerful it bounds us together almost making us one, almost making us whole and so we fear shutting our eyes because we think that if we open them again, we'll wake up and it'll all have been just a dream.

No... No, my dearest friends.. listen to me now. When the sun breaks dawn and you feel that cool eastern breeze just brush against the nape of your neck all the way around to the front of your cheek; look upward, north, and remember. Time will stop for a moment and you'll be able to travel anywhere in almost an instant. But nothing could amount to that moment you looked into her eyes and felt... Home. Safe. Truly Happy. Remember that feeling. Remember that feeling my friends.. when you shut your eyes.. and go to sleep. Cause when you wake, I promise, she'll be waiting right there in front of you, smiling and with awe.

When she's around... time slows down... almost to the point of complete nothingness... I look at her and think, is there truly anything more gorgeous?..

When She's around, I feel safe and that anywhere could be called home. Her eyes; a curious stare... my hand twitches, longing to touch her curlicious hair.

Our gaze's meet, and I find myself drifting... closer and closer to her feet. Her lips just within a leanings reach. Her dimples nearly touching my cheek... Her sent... 'Heavenly'.

I run my hand through her hair, and I hear her gasp, a sudden rush and a cool breeze changes the whole atmosphere. Her legs grab my waist and I stare into the pupils. She leans in, our eyes drift shut but our lips finally meet and I feel the grip of her legs tighten around my waist...

I walk forward until her chest presses against mine and her back makes love with the wall. I wrench her hair and kiss down her chest, real slow.

I mumble sweet nothingness into her ear whilst I caress her bare *******... Her legs decend and wrap around mine and I hear her begin to beg. The second my tongue makes contact with the nape of her neck her hips grind tight against mine.

This is not routine, she is trembling. Brewing like a steam pipe, compressed, ready to burst. I slip my tongue into her mouth and open it as I **** the air clean from her lungs.

It is at this point her legs curls inward and rips me back, causing me to fall and back crashes against the floor and she lands right on my lap. I grab her waist as she grips onto me.

The night is young, and ready to be explored. Our quest into each other will bring us beyond the star systems to a plane uncharted and unlike any other, ventured before. The night sky will bear witness to our event and the stars will weep out of sheer awe from beauty. Life, being made in a single dance of love and our moans, and wails and cries of ecstasy and desire, passion and Love...

and when it was all over.. we held one another.. and peeped into each others soul. It was love... Love.. Love of the Titans.

He stood there, shield in one hand and sword in the other, ready to face whatever odds would come to face him. He had been fighting for days without any sleep nor had he eaten a bite of anything. It was hot, he was sweaty.. Tired and weak.. He stood with all his might, his back facing the edge of the cliff.. His shield pulling him down.. He let it go, he did not need it anymore. His sword too. He had given up resisting... He had done enough fighting.. He leaned back and let fate decide his destiny.. He fell.. Drifting in the air with the breeze. His armor gently drifted from his body and all that was left was the bare leather of his own skin... He closed his eyes in ease.. Ready to rest for all eternity.. Weather it be for pain and suffering or heavenly glory.. He was ready.. He just wanted to do one thing with his life.. And that's leave with those he met knowing his journey, his adventures, his joys and happiness.. His sadness and his worry's.. His accomplishments and what he stood for. He wanted to leave with everyone knowing that no matter what he did or who he met or whatever choices he made.. He always cared.. He always put those before him and he was humble... Kind.. And courageous..  Even in the face of Tyranny. Or just a nemesis.. Or maybe someone he could never understand but tried to make peace with... It was time.. Goodbye.

Thee Woman

There is always a woman every man will ever come into contact with that no women after or before will ever come to level with. This woman could be an assortment of types. But in this case.. in 'my' case... this woman was 'Thee Woman'. She stood tall, strong, elegant, classified, grounded, intelligent, beautiful beyond comprehension. She stared with such force. Eyes piercing directly into my soul.. But she did not mean to frighten me.. but instead show me a certain kindness I had long forgotten. She fully understood her own passion and chaos. When she was weak she would not show it. When she felt Joy she would remind he who poured that joyfulness over her. She was exotic in her passion. The *** was not something of this world. It was like 2 universes entering a black hole, into oblivion.... She would moan and roar and scream and cry and she would rock the stars in the long, dark, frightful night.. The sheets of our bed would soak, the windows in our room would fog, Our bodies doused in exotic bliss and ****** ***. We were drunk off one another... We held on tight to one another and made utter love.. Her juices oiling over my as if to loosen up my rusted body parts, to make me move again and have life... a new start. She was god like but demanded no worship. She is humble, she is creative. She is pure... Earnest. When she loves she gives it her all. She is so many things... so many good things... Completely and undoubtedly, the woman of my dreams.. in reality.

Alone is as lonely as alone can be. I am alone and as lonely as can be. I wish to be free, I want to be free so please, somebody, come and set me free. Give me joy show me kindness and give me love truthfully. For I am so lonely and how lonely can lonely be? I am alone and alone is all I've ever seen.

Enter in this journey.. embark on something new.. but be sure to change your path. Make it your own truth. Find something bright. Here.. Walk into the light... Step out of the shadow and turn what's wrong into something right. Rise from the ash. and into a meadow.  That smooth eastern breeze.. It's as if the morning was saying, "hello". Now your on a beach.. The sun rays so elegantly rippling off your soft smooth powdery skin... You're free... fall. sink. and let the cool liquid pressure consume you in. Open your eyes my love.. focus on your fate. Focus on Love.. not hate. Can you handle it? it doesn't matter. Because like it or not, change is imminent. Mad as a hatter? or as wise as an old man, your future is your permanent. Your path is but your own. So do with it what you will... just be sure to remember your way back home.

XoXo

Your lips.. are the Elixir to my immortality.
Your heart... is the foundation.. of this revolution... in love...
My seed, will bring the birth of a bigger, better legacy...
My predecessor. You're prince or princess. The dawn of a new creation.. a new beginning. A new chapter.
By first light, Today, life will emerge to a new dawn and existence as we know it will be remade.
Your courage and bravery will provide and protect this birth of creation. and together, we shall bring something incredible into this universe... it is called... a child, and it is our child.

What is a happy ending but a conclusion to every fairy tale ever told... to block out reality.. to keep us hidden from a dark truth... What is a prince but a disguised man, posing as the perfect thing... a princess as the ideal lady for a father, a queen... the ideal woman for a man who seeks a wife...  What is a fairy tale but the ideal fantasy for what we seek for in an escape from reality... why must it be an escape or just a fantasy... what has reality keeping our dreams from being out of reach... nothing... 'Work' they say.. how must one work for 'love'... a piece of desire, pleasure and an unidentifiable, undefinable kindness.. why must 'work' be the excuse we  use to gain a glimpse of 'happiness' why can't anyone just simply be... 'happy'..

because lies and deceptions are what this terrible reality holds for us all.

Her: What will you do next?...
Him: Oh, it's always the same ****** question,every time...
Her: What do you mean?
Him: Everybody's the same really... when you think about it... it's not about what your doing or going to do..... it's how you prepare..
Her: Prepare for what?.. exactly?
Him: Prepare weather or not to make the next decision on this journey you would call, life.. or leave it to fate.. if you believe in that sort of thing that is...
Her: And do you believe in 'fate'?...
Him: I suppose we are about to find out.

Fear... What is fear but a pointless excuse to not go above and beyond... to not do the unthinkable, the unimaginable. Why is fear your excuse to not excel at something you have dreamed of. Do not let fear hold you back.

When I opened my eyes I did not see my husband. No longer was I staring into the eyes of the man I had married. What stood over me was dark... Was like a demon ready to feast on a meal that could serve an entire colony for a month. This monster gazed over my body and stared at me like the last ounce of satisfaction in existence. And with that final smirk he unleashed the beast that would rob me of total control and devoured me whole. My soul was painted with the lust of this being. This creature... this thing... this being of unholy and complete dominance... he had done the unthinkable. He was not the man I had married...  oh no.. he was much much more... he was my soul mate... and that night... we made total and complete love. not in the sheets of a single room, but we broke the laws of the universe and let the stars bare witness to this event.. this new chapter. A new type of beginning. A new type of... 'Big bang"... A new start of creation. This was not simply a kink but absolute and pure passion. His eyes roared with obsession and utter desire to please me and worship my very existence. Gods would not understand such treatment, Titans could never even begin to comprehend the concept of it. It just simply was and forever could be known as... Love.

To who, to whom, to you, that's 'whom'. When Whom is ******* and ******* is you. How do you unscrew the ***** when you are ******* by whom. You unscrew yourself.

What is madness but a cruel result of jealousy?
What is passion but a ***** of desire and an unbearable wanting for one another?
Lust.
***.
Betrayal.
Temptation. The ultimate test...
Treachery...
Adultery...
Love...

I wish you the greatest love you could ever possibly experience.
I wish for you and your lover to be together for years and years to come.
I wish for you to grow an unbreakable god-like trust with your Lover.
I wish your lover to tell you the most perfect and wonderful things.
I wish your body, heart and soul to be 'wooed' by your lover day and night.
I wish for you to witness the most indescribably joys with your lover.
I wish for you to experience a passion you have never understood until your lover hath shown it to you.
I wish for you to be shown something so great and beautiful and rare to make you truly believe nothing could ever go wrong with your lover.
I wish everlasting happiness with just and ONLY your partner alone.

All so that one day... your Lover may look  upon your eyes... and say these words without a single flinch or blink in their eyes... "it's over. I don't feel the same way anymore" as though it was all a game and that it's time to come back to reality. "I'm sorry" as if the words might put a bandaid on the open chest wound they made upon slowly ripping out your only reason to feel alive... To feel used... weak... as though your not enough to love.. and you never were.. bleeding and coughing and choking on the floor... begging for some form of mercy... only to have your agonizing screams echo into nothingness.. realizing... your alone.. you always were.. and you always will be... not because you are doomed.. but because you do not wish to every feel such a pain like this ever again.. that is if you are able to survive.. "You'll be fine others will say" selfish and cruel and unaware of the burning inferno in your chest and throat... and all you want is to be held.. and rocked and cradled like a child.. vulnerable.. terrified.. I do not usually wish this upon anyone, even my enemy's but those who think... 'it will be fine'... what do you know of pain? true, emotional, mental and physical pain of a true heartbreak... there is no pain in the universe like it... 'Death' seeming like an easy, quick medication only to end you pain and infect others...

One day... when the sun rose high in the sky... Gods will was said to have whipped the universe of sin for a single moment in time.
But it was the way that sin had been whipped, that will change everything about this story. This story does not have a happy ending. But This story also does not have a bad one either.

When the world was at it's worst, where rapists, killers, pedophiles and just about the worst of the worst would stroll around, like a fresh Sunday right after church ended and the bells would be a-ringin'...

Dressed in Black with a Red clerical collar, the Devil decided to take a walk on Gods green earth.

A lot of those see Lucifer as the darkest of darkness that dark could ever cast into a shadowy corner in the lowest of low pits in Hell. The King of Rebels. The ultimate Sinner. But on this day, just this once, He didn't seem to appear so dark.

With every step he took you could hear the whaling of a banshies cry in the distance. With a grin that crept on the peak of his filthy stature of a body.

What was it that made this being so Evil? Why was he seen as such a tragic accident? Lucifer is no Demon of any kind, but a fallen Angel. The darkest most hated of Angels to ever be known.

The Devil Walked into a Bar... This bar was called "The Cracked Loon-Addict" (But The Devil knew... he could read the words better than any mortals eyes could ever see. The words read on the Bars title, The Cracked Lunatic) Home and Refuge for the worlds most wanted and every living killer, ******, ******* and monster you could possible think up.

He ordered a shot of whisky and took a sip.

A ****** walked up, weak in her demeanor, She reeked of conviction and any form of self respect.  She spat in his face and laughed.

A man walked up to the Devil soon after the woman staggered off drunk, and said he ***** 4 children, 7 wives, murdered 6 men and tortured 17 families and sent each tape he recorded of the tortures to each families family, right before coming after them and killing them too.

The Devil looked into this mans eyes and saw nothing but the truth.

Soon after the man walked away another man walked up to the Devil. This man was skinny and his eyes peeled of death. The man had claimed he was a deluded psychopath with no reason for killing 117 people in the course of 4 days. He said he was just bored.  

Nearing the end of the day as the sun began setting, more and more people, men and women approached the Devil and confessed their sins. By the time the sun had set the Devil was on his way out the door and before leaving a man sitting at a table at the opposite, farthest end of the bar sat in a Pure White Robe. The Devil Stood at the entrance for a moment and then turned around and saw the man and noticed there was a broken halo above his head. The Devil grinned and walked out. The first step he took outside the bar was the Step of Judgement The Second Step was the Step of Eternal Damnation.

Every living being in the bar weather it's species was human animal or unknown, had obliterated into a dark mist. All accept that one single man in the white Robe. That ****** burned alive and his ashes left the mark of his broken wings into the floor boards as if it was to leave a tattoo.

Lucifer remembers. He remembered what the man in the pure white robe said right before the Devil walked out. He said, "I am an egotistical Homosexual who poses as an innocent white male who rapes the innocent and sheds hatred on those who love the same gender; All so I can get into the Kingdom of Heaven." The Devil laughed as he took his first step outside of the Bar and as he left Gods green earth.

But he did not do this for the faith of good or to help and serve the lives of the innocent. They did not even pose a threat to the Devil nor did they care about him.

The Devil did this because he found that the burning souls in hell didn't seem to burn bright enough. So he found some better ones to burn for the next eternity to come until he needs to refill his eternal Inferno.

Happiness aligns with Innocence but slowly dies with growth.
as we grow to adulthood we understand Joy and rarely witness happiness in ourselves again. But Joy.. joy is wise and true. familiar with happiness but not quite the full thing. Joy is the memory of what once was and some-what still is. Happiness is for the young and foolish and innocent.
To be content with ones self is to understand ones capabilities. To understand self control and emotional strength. But to take pride in happiness, you grow the reputation of the blind and foolish. You miss your mistakes and you soon find yourself alone. And then... loneliness. Sadness drowns you and something dark emerges. Something negative... something.. Broken.. and/or Evil.

What is a demon if not but another monster to go boo in the night?
Why am I to fear if I stand broken and unfrightened?
How is man to protect those he loves from the monsters if he cannot contain the monster from within himself?
What is the beast without beauty? some would say chaos.. I would say vulnerable.

I know love to be true and so untrue.
Innocence is your greatest deception and yet your only ally.
I cannot feel for that of which is like me... but older... wiser.. much more in experience.
Trust is no longer an option, let alone a factor... but is an asset is as good as an enemy?
Can they think?
Do they adapt?
What is the light without the darkness?
What is Joy without sadness?
How can you grow without being destroyed and then rebuilt?
I hate and I love.
But I hardly love and usually hate.
Respect is not a passed around toy, but it is something to deeply consider in hard times. (How pathetic and yet.. understandable)
The wisest are unrepairable, and the young are too predictable and sensitive.
Beauty becomes more rare because ugliness becomes beauty. Nothing is truly ugly, you just have not noticed it's beauty yet.
Do not touch what you cannot reach but grab that of which is beyond your comprehension and never let it go.
Life is nothing without death... and Death... is only the beginning.

To Have Respect Received, You must be respectful first.

To have Disrespect received, you may formally tell them to '*******'.

To have mutual respect received you may or may not give back mutual respect.

To have kindness shown, you may show kindness.

People will Never See ‘you’.

Nobody will ever see you the way that you see them.

So close those eyes and stare into the black abyss.

Never peek and get that glimpse because when they close their eyes…

They’ll never open for you again.

Beyond the lust of another human being.
The obsession to hold them and smell them and never forget them.
They way they make you smile by the first word alone.
They way they make you smile by seeing just their name pop up on a text.
Knowing they will never leave you under any circumstance.
Knowing they will forever support you and your decisions and even advise you.
Knowing they will love you from the moment they wake up to the moment they go to sleep and even while they dream.
To watch the obsession and lust turn into pure, true love.
To know they get you and understand everything about you better than anyone else.. and that you only want them to know these things.
and most of all.. to know that they make you feel like the safest thing in the universe... and much, much more.

Children.
Hidden by Innocence but little do we ever miss their ignorance.
Chaotic and Destructive as they may be, Cautious and curious as a Monkey.
Beautiful and full of grace, Sinful and deceptive at a changing pace.
Sneaky and Clever and so small and never to surrender.
Children.
Loving, and hatful, Cruel and grateful.
Perfect and Monstrous and precious and Tenacious.
Children.
They are mankind new beginning. With every generation comes a new meaning.

Men are mean to women because woman are mean to men.
Women are mean to men because men **** women.
Men **** women because woman dress openly.
Women dress openly because it makes them feel good.
Women also dress openly to attract men.
Men act sweet to women but women are not attracted 'Nice boys'.
Women choose to date 'bad boys'
'Bad boy' beats woman.
Woman 'Loves Bad boy'.
'Bad boy'  abuses woman.
Woman leaves bad boy.
Bad boy rapes or beats woman to near death.
Woman says she hates men, that all men are abusive.
The boy who once acted nice to her now has just turned into a 'Bad boy'.
Woman complains men are all the same.
Man complains women are all the same.
Process repeats cycle.

Madness will not lead one to do something that is unstood for, but have one do the only thing anyone else sitting, not do... Stand.

italic

A taste of Lust shall leave a man wanting, but a tease of Love shall keep him chasing

italic

Beauty is white... Glowing and Innocent.
*** is Red, Exotic and Passionate.
Life is full and rich with wisdom.
Death is not the End.

italic

Life has been in love with Death for all eternity.. Always sending gifts of Life.. and somehow Death is always breaking these gifts as he takes them. Life soon began to get upset and became cruel. Death became upset at how cruel life was and so he stole life's precious gifts. As time went on the two fought for centuries. Eventually the fighting came to an end. By the time Life has stopped fighting Death she had learned of a new ability. The ability to shed 'Light'. At the same time this happened Death learned of an ability he had always had but could never see.. He had the ability to shed Darkness.. So the two joined together to make something unimaginable. They came together and made.. A 'Soul'.

"When you crawl, they want you to walk.
When you walk they want you to run.
When you run they want you to talk.
When you talk they limit your use of certain words.

They want more. They want more. They want more.

When you speak a proper sentence and can count, they send you off to school.
When you are at school they want you to read.
when you can read they want you to count some more on a higher level.
When you can count on a higher level they upgrade with more levels of reading and counting.
When you get home from school they want you to have good reports.
When you have good reports they want you to be organized.

They want more. They want more. They want more.

When the week end comes along and school is out, they want you to be social.
When you are being social, they want you to exorcise.
When you are done exorcising they want you to compete.
when you have won in your competition they want you to go back to learning.
When you come home from more learning they expect a good report.

They want more. They want more. They want more.

When you get a job you gain 'responsibility'.
When you gain responsibility you life no longer matters.
When your life no longer matters you have surrendered.
when you have surrendered you are expected to keep working for less pay.
When you work for less pay you can't afford a home or food.
When you can't afford food you become hungry.
When you become hungry you starve.
When you starve you die.
When you die you have failed at what was expected of you and that is to live.
When you fail at living you are labeled as a failure.
When you are labeled as a failure.......... you are forgotten.

They want more... They want more... They.. Want... More."

Within these stars... lie the many hearts..
Some with pride.. and some that are blind..
The darkness is so high.. but theres a small light.
As I venture through this dark abyss..
I am guided by those who have stood by me this entire journey and some that have come to assist..
I am torn.. broken down and beaten..
I look to the stars and I see them... see them all defeated..
Death floods the entire galaxy.. and drowns my soul...
This place..
this hell..
this nothingness..
was what I used to call...
my home..

She broke a nail,
He told her to deal with it.
He scraped his knee,
She told him to buck up.
She is having a bad hair day,
He told her to live with it, it looks fine.
He lost his favorite drawing,
she told him to grow up.
She asked if he was upset,
he said no but she kept asking.
He passed a test,
She responded with a blank tone, "Good Job."
His favorite show came on,
but the power went out half way through.
She cut her hair and it looked REALLY PRETTY,
but nobody noticed.
He achieved a really high goal in his life,
but he had nobody to celebrate with.
She said she just needed someone to talk to,
He said he was busy.

In a perfect world
With a perfect girl.
Her eyes flutter,
Her Skin, soft like butter.
Everybody seems to be happy and perfect
No War. No Democracy, No 'God' to worship.
The night life fills with laughter and joy and dancing and the children sing with happiness while prancing.
The music is loud and fills the night sky, and the energy lifts us up high. In a Perfect world
With a Perfect Girl.
I can see again..

I am not into '****-Hungry' woman...
But simply a woman who can make a ****, hungry without having to expose herself.
A woman's *** is not something I would take any pride in,
but her figured arch is what will take my pride away and turn it into passion.
A woman's lack of intelligence will keep me turned off...
But her sense of humor, education, adventure and ****** passion will arm me like a bomb.
The peel of a woman's nails down my back will bring out the rage of a thousand hells in me, just as much as the seductive stare that the beautiful librarian, across the hallway will.
The sound of her moan in my ear will melt me like metal in molten lava.
The sweet whispers through the midnight life while rolling in the sheets of 'Desire' and 'Lust' leave me weak and strong at the same time.

"There is no forgiveness for any kind of unspeakable Evil that one has already committed... but redemption.. at any cost.. may not be forgiven.. but shall help proceed, one, onward in the journey towards something that might be suffice. To become something.. 'better'."

"I.. Am.. Fear... I am the bringer of death... I am the shadow that stalks your every move. I am the chilling breeze that lifts the hairs upon your back spine. I am the anxiety attack you build up under pressure. I am what keeps you awake at just about all hours of the night. I am the sting in your painful nerves. I am the keeper of the gates of Hell. You think you know pain? you think you have experienced what it is like to suffer? I will show you things you'd never thought physically and mentally possible. I will douse you in ****** till there is literally nothing left of you, till you ash has become nothing and you have disintegrated and are particles so small it'd be hard to even spot you with a microscope. I am the cool frost bite that you feel when the snow stabs your face in a blizzard storm. I will rip the very flesh from your body and force you to watch and feel every detail as I take every physical and emotional thing from you and just RIP.. it away.. haha.. I am the silent space in which you hear nothing for life times to come. I am the bringer of darkness. The birth of war. The creator of Chaos. I am what you cannot stop. I am what you have fear all these years ever since you can remember. the monster slithering under your bed and hiding in your closet.. The creature at your window. the noise you heard in the woods. I am.... you. just take on look in the mirror.. looks deep into your eyes.. deep... deeper.. deeeeeeper... deeeeeeeeeeeeper... peer into your own soul.. and witness.. your own wrath... you own Terror... you own.... Monster... witness.. yourself. "

'Evil'?
Do you even know what TRUE 'Evil' even is?!
Let me explain it to you, while your still alive..
Stay with me for a moment,
I realize it is difficult to focus with a 2 and a half foot machete dug through and through, but please, let me elaborate this for you.
I have not hit any vital organs, therefor you will live.
(Only for as long as I allow it)
But that does not mean you will enjoy what is to come next.
On the other side of this wall are several people you love.
And I do mean,
truly.. 'Love'.
the first 3 are members of your family,
the one next to them is your lady/boyfriend.
Next to him/her is a pet you have held close dearly for a significant amount of time in your life.
And finally, your best friend.
You are going to watch me, as I rip the very meaning to your entire existence into oblivion.
Think I am kidding?
Watch closely...
You won't want to miss this.
hahaha...
Hahaha..
Ahhhahaha!
AHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Victory... is inevitable.. without sacrifice.. You win.. you still lose.. you lose.. you still win.. it's a tragic mystery. And yet, a beautiful outcome.

The pain drops terror into the pupils of my eyes..
and yet..
it Excites me.
I can feel the scorching blaze of the fiery, red hot steel blade, press onto my back..
In this dream I am tortured with the lust of a fantasy that will never again become my reality.
This room of warm selfish hate and antagonizing self pity makes me dizzy with emotion. I can't control it..
My heart longs for her..
her touch..
the brush of her soft, gentle white skin against mine..
"I Love you"..
I manage to whisper in this room of thick warmth..
She sighs..
The breeze exits her lips and smoothly caresses the side of my temple.
It's cool..
almost as if to be winter-like.
Enough to give me the strength to lurch upward towards her!
Only to be held back just a fingers length, gap..
Her arched neck and burning eyes pierce through my forehead and exit the rear of my cranium..
Her panting had become ****** some how.. almost as though she enjoyed it.. but when I look up.. I see darkness no more.. but instead..
sorrow.
I am weak now.. too weak.. My flesh is beaten.. my heart is bitter.. I close my eyes and feel her hands brush the edges of my back, ever so gently..
I feel a tear hit the back of my neck and faintly hear sobs..
Before it all goes.. after I feel her lift my face up from defeat.. her hands cool like ice... and her hair.. as black as my soul.. I hear her whisper faint, but also between sobs..
"I-.. I Love You, Too.."

"Love".. is such an intoxicating and poisonous thing.. like a drug I suppose.. it gives you the excitement and strength to concur most things an average human cannot. It give's you depth, courage and the ability to do things with confidence.. it gives you a sense of clarity.. and yet.. Love is so blinding.. it's only when we have lost the one thing we love most.. walk away.. that is when we are beaten and weak.. hopeless.. and defeated.. most people find it difficult to recover.. others aren't so lucky to even survive. Time is not our friend in times of loneliness. But time DOES heal.. and it brings back a strength we though to be lost.. it brings back something stronger than 'Love'.. something no one could ever, in their right minds think, this can concur love? no way.. Time... gives us Hope. and Hope.. makes us better. and that my friends.. is a very big part of the journey in life..

I said Hi and she cried out.
I went to check if she was ok and
She shoved me away.
I wanted to help her get through
and all she could do was scream and shout,
"No! Get away! *******!"
I tried to understand and give her space.
I never understood her state..
her condition.
All I wanted was to help her through the storm but instead
I only made it worse.
I'm not a ****** and I'd never hurt any woman,
I just wanted to help, but instead I'm hated.
You say "#Yesallwomem" and I say
"#Notallmen".
Your innocence was stripped, and That's not cool.
I'm a man who listens and looks like a fool.
If I say something then I'm judgmental, If I say nothing then I'm a suspect.
I just want to help but instead I made you upset.
I'm sorry.

These pleasuring desires have unpleasant ends. *** with the wrong mate can be like second guessing a razor.. in the end you will just end up bleeding out with no one left but yourself in a bowl of regret. you will leak.. and loneliness will consume you. used and sulking in your own defeat and misery and filth.. you will be lost.. forever.

Humility. Defeat. Embarrassment. Loss. These are some of the hardest things in the world to 'Accept'. But once we have accepted our own self tortures and judgements.. we can move forward with becoming a grown human.. we can become something better.