My feelings pile on my shoulders.
My emotions blurr my vision.  
My circumstances slow me down.
My situation demotivates me.

My ambition drives me.
My aspirations motivate me.
My passion inspires me.
My future intrigues me.

Wrestling with conflicting emotions is tiring, difficult and neverending.

I used to have freedom.
I used to be able to take a break.
I've been stripped.
I've been robbed.

I once had an escape.
I no longer have an escape.

Back and forth.
A tug of war with my thoughts and feelings.
Fighting between two different entities;
The “Yes” and the “No”.

The “Yes” pummels my equilibrium.
Forcefully overwhelming me.
Almost drowning me.
But carries me closer to safety.

The “No” brings me back to equilibrium.
Welcoming my recovery.
Allowing me to stand to my feet.
But tries to drag me closer to my death.

As the ocean leaves my sight, I realise that the “Yes” is the incoming wave and the “No” is the outgoing wave.

I'm left with deciding which wave I'd rather ride.

Today, we fight many battles.
How has it gone so far?
Injustices rule;
Stand up for yourself, risk death.

We gain nothing through violence.
Our dignity is tainted.
Random acts of goodness overshadowed.
Living becomes indefinable.
Death is felt with the warmth of blood.

“I was attacked.”
Suffering being witnessed and felt.

“I barely survived.”
Now people need to watch their backs.
Fury prowls the streets,
Until justice is served.
Remember when we used to be free.
“I arrived home safely.”
A "Good Morning" text is now feared.
Today it can be exactly what it is.
In a few days, it's a death notification.
Now we need to fight together;
Great powers require big forces.

Many will fall. And
Eventually we will all rise.

(Take the first letter of each line and make a sentence.)

death terrorizes the world
suffering strikes fear
far and wide
individuals attempt to restore
while questionable governments limit
people lay in captivity
the walls growing bigger
closer
the reality of death
suffering
all becomes too much to handle
a hero
a nurse
a loved one
welcomes comfort and restores

once we are through
conquerers
escaping the thick autumn-winter bush
spring will be on the horizon
death behind us
giving way to life ahead of us
death behind us
a defeated Covid-19

A long, arduous trip across the ocean has led me to this island. The sounds of animals, luscious forests and of fresh water greet me upon my arrival, but is this the end of my journey?

My quest for a perfect island has been going on for years. Many have not met my criteria and many have scarred me, but am I finally at the perfect island?

The possible presence of deadly creatures and carnivores make me fearful, but one doesn't know about their presence until it is encountered, as I've experienced a few times before.

A familiar feeling falls upon me -
"I think I've found her."
A familiar fear grabs me -
"Is she about to scar me?"

Are you my island?

slowly [ ] fades
away
quickly [ ] isolates
[ ]

patiently [ ] rebuilds
[ ]
stronger [ ] becomes
without you

as i dig deeper
i find pieces
shattered
scattered
lost
you
dismantled

as i dig deeper
i collect the pieces
re-build
re-organise
now found
new you
restored

as i exit your heart
i look at you
a masterpiece

My hand stretches out.
I touch.
My mind's eye catches yours.
I connect.
My imagination takes over.
I dream.
My love depends.
I fall.
Softly.

My senses come to terms with my surroundings.
I am looking in the mirror, delving into my soul.

I've connected with my loneliness.

Touch -
The most significant insignificance.
Sight -
The slightest intention.
Hearing -
The loudest silence.
Taste -
The most complicated intricacy.
Smell -
The love of the non-discriminatory.
You -
The "when all else fails".

She's a stranger, the most beautiful stranger.

As we move nearer, I feel her tug at my heart.
I feel an abundance of affection, injecting through my veins.

I am greeted with the urge to love.

She tightens her grip, her hand is on my heart.
Her hand is golden, pure gold.
What I see is more than I ever wanted; someone who truly loves me.

I am greeted with the urge to love.

But. Her hand starts to flake, it's only gold plated.
Her grip and her tug starts to pain.
She's not who her image promised to be.

She's a danger, the most beautiful danger.

Modest colours engulf the earth,
Everything seems to be losing its worth.
Structures slowly fall apart,
As all creation loses heart.

Greeted by the snap and crackle,
Slowly everything starts to make sense.
Slowly, losing suspense,
Death escapes my satchel.

I'm a human, who brings death in my satchel, to a forest already mourning the life of humanity while it goes through the pain of autumn.

I'd send you a text; a greeting.
You'd reply; a greeting.
We'd talk about a few things; small talk.
We'd casually flirt and enjoy; affection.
I'd revive the conversation; hopefulness.
I'd try my best to keep it flowing; eagerness.
We'd continue to an unmutual conversation; unhealthy.
You'd neglect contributing to the conversation; careless.
I'd restart the process daily; care.

But, you'd never even try to start a conversation let alone try the process I've perfected; speechless.

Exterior beauty is viewed like the average individual passing a painting.
They barely understand meaning, but seem to conclude that the painting is beautiful.

Interior beauty is ignored like the average individual passing a painting.
They understand the surface, they see it's beauty, but the exact story behind the painting is unknown and worthless.

We focus on the exterior, make a decision and leave, but forget that the interior is what will reveal itself louder than the most bombastic exterior.

We all love,
But never mutually.

She approaches you with more than just love.
You keep your distance because you know what you want from her - not love.

She tries everything to win you over, but you don't budge, yet you continuously search for love.

A never-ending search for love never bears fruit because love seems to never be mutual.

You find so much love, but it's always one-sided and never from your side.

we barely consider the fact that the sun might not rise the next day, but every night we watch the sun disappear, expecting its return.

the thought of the end of the world doesn't trouble our minds because we have confidence in the return of the sun.

love with confidence.

when things go south, have confidence that the love between you and your partner is in a sunset phase and that it will have its sunrise phase soon.

love your partner with the confidence that the love between the two of you will remain tangible and only fade out momentarily.

use love's sunset and sunrise phase to admire your partner.

love with confidence.

Some days I wonder when I'll meet "the one" while other days I'm so thankful for not meeting "the one". But love is so powerful that when you meet "the one" you see no way without him or her.

From despising him or her to becoming addicted to him or her; this is the power of true love.

Toxic relationships feed our lustful need for love.
Why do we accept the most fake love around just for physical stimulation?
Love is more emotional than physical, but still we choose bodies over souls.

Just as drugs, love is addictive.
More and more use leads to more and more breakage.
Once we're completely spent at the use of fake love do we only start to see the reality.

Yet, we still bypass the urge to consider the soul and continue being a slave to an urge for temporary happiness.

Without an emotional connection, how do you completely connect with your "loved" one?
Just a physical connection doesn't mean there's a complete connection.

We can't get enough of fake love,
Even though it kills us.

feelings re-appear
images re-appear
the fear of loving becomes more apparent
love that leads to heartbreak enters again

trying to channel the feeling
into nothingness
is tough as it is when your mind plays with you
especially after seeing the person for the first time

stupid thoughts drown me
the realness of a human is questionable
but somehow the love remains

no matter what

The distance between us has multiplied
Physically, we're miles away.
Our hearts have been separated.
But I feel like there was always a connection before you performed the separation.

Once we were close to calling it a relationship
Until one night you told me there were no feelings.
Everything was cool, until I saw a picture of you and my replacement.

He was in your personal space and you were happy.
I thought I made you happy, but you favoured some hidden love.

I don't know if there was love for me.
Those tight hugs and meaningful conversations told me that there was something in it.
I guess I was only scratching the surface of a well hidden lie.

Days I'd sit thinking about the future.
You were leaving soon and my biggest concern was to ensure that I don't lose you to someone else.
But that happened anyway.

We could be talking daily on social media,
But maybe I'm just not worth it.

I hate that I'm fond of you.

He approaches, from a completely different background.
He sees an odd, irregular image
Minding its own business.

He approaches and the image moves.
The irregular image faces him as he admires it.
It is smothered in beauty,
So much, but he doesn't understand it.

She, the image, sees him too.
She falls in love with his body's outline,
But when he steps into the light,
She doesn't understand her love anymore.

Mutual love was clouded by race.

Eventually, they learned to love their differences.
They created art through their differences;
Contrasting colours thrived in their newly ordained similarities - obtained through love.

Multi-racial relationships are the artwork of humankind.

An abundant blessing becomes over-used
Becomes an economical powerhouse
For those who exploit its insignificance.

Largely significant to individuals who hurry nature
Rapid growth aided by toxic substances
Forcing nature to suffer a life full of exploitation.

Humans put price tags on nature.
Something priceless in its natural state gets demoted in value.
But, its value to humans - priceless.

Without sustainable and artificial growth of stand-alone insignificant pieces, a whole species of intoxicating humans will be eradicated.

Luscious greenery and growth follows the death of a human.

I walked straight through your heart,
Metaphorically.

Stormy, windy, dark nights,
With shattered street lights,
Void of any form of light.
Your heart suffers an undesirable life.

Stroms embody distress and frailty.
Winds embody hastiness.
Dark nights embody sinister actions.
With no hope present, a more profound image is painted.

When I walked through your metaphorical heart
I felt the suffering.
Shivers and goosebumps displayed my uneasyness,
Yet you live a life exactly like this.

The most metaphorical experience was my most life-like, metaphorical experience.

Place your heart next to that of a queen's and nothing sets it apart as being different,
But upon closer examination - listening and communicating - a whole lot of darkness is felt and seen.

Inner darkness is better than an assumed inner brightness, based on the exterior condition.

Authenticity in physical condition is important.

We travel on a boat that has just enough space for the two of us.
We set our relationship as priority and ignore personal priority.
We live life together and experience the same things
Until personal priority takes over.

Once personal priority takes over, the boat spilts.
One heart splits too, the other doesn't.
What was once one entity is now drifting apart into two, just as the heart of one individual breaks apart.

Slowly we drift away.
The one looks towards the horizon.
The other looks to what he or she thought would always be on his or her horizon.

my world is large
Monsters thrive on all grounds
across the whole globe

erasing the trace of my past
erasing the path to my future
Monsters thrive

i may be small
but i require vastness to thrive
i don't get the chance to thrive

these Monsters are Humans
They destroy my home
and destroy my hopes of living

i'm just a tiny insignificant butterfly
i have no ability to fight
but the battle has already been lost

i'll die along with the rest of nature
as hope which developed in a cocoon
flies away like a butterfly - myself

love is the best deceptive feeling
although deceptive
still critical in forming a connection

:

connecting means accepting
accept the assets
heart
impurities
reasons you wouldn't start to love

:

love is a filter to every factor
factors that cause you to lose interest
end your pursuit
stop the affection
repel the attraction

:

if you do love
nothing can stop you
no flaw
characteristic
quality
value
difference
irrespective of your requirements

:

when you love
nothing can stop you from loving

a creature that devours its prey
one that has no sympathy
lives its own life as it wishes
uses fake love as a luer

slowly it wraps itself around you
as you get more comfortable, it tightens its grip.
you give it what it wants
you're satisfied

it continually steals your purity
uses your love to dig deep into you
almost literally
it "loves" you

it finds someone else while you're gone
it tells her that she's the only one
it says it's in love with her
it loves the physical contact

it wraps around you
around her
it feels your skin
unfiltered "love"

it is a snake
he is a snake
you've been lied to

he is a snake

She was uncomfortable
Living life out of her comfort zone
She longed for someone to steal her
To take her to where she feels comfortable

He brought comfort
He found her and stole her
He was feared by her
But he showed her that he was different

She found her comfort

He dedicates his life:
movements,
rest,
presence,
heart,
to a temporary individual that seemed permanent.

She dedicates her life:
movements,
rest,
presence,
heart,
to someone else.

Her love is poisonous; he drinks it as if it's pure, but chokes on the concentration of lies and deceit.

(men are trash?)
(what are woman then?)

We live in a world where even humans might become extinct because of what we are doing to one another and our surroundings. If suicide also continues, complete extinction is humanly possible, excuse the pun. But the main problem is: we are destroying the memory-makers of our children's lives. No more nature; no more beauty. No more humans; a lot more growth and indulgence, albeit, not for mankind.
Do you want to see destruction or the creation of new, beautiful life? It's up to you.

Beauty is a blessing and a curse
For both you and I

Whenever I see you utilising your curse
I can only sit and comply

I can become so distracted by your blessing
That I can't unfix my eyes

When I see your entire blessing
I feel the need to have you in my life

Beauty is a curse to me
It is my weakness

It takes over everything within me
Then all I see is your evoking bliss

It is a catalyst to my thoughts and actions,
But negatively effects my loyalty

Then my actions lead to insanity

Wooden creations of life.
Thousands of years of hassle-free thriving
'till we arrived.

Currently, decaying and suffering trees are killed,
Perfectly healthy creations are murderer,
Wise and noble beauties are ripped from the earth.

Its home
(earth)
Is dying too.

Large cavities in the earth
Like a mine shaft in your tooth.
Suffering is synonymous with humans.

Our lives depend on nature, both their existence and their death.

Nature provides us with important ingredients to life,
But we also remove every trace of it in our urbanisation.

Trees stand their ground,
They don't go down without a fight.
They stand tall and are tough to penetrate.

They have faith that their roots will be the strength to their growth and do not detach,
so why do we dwell on others to be our strength and why do we disown our origins.

Be more like a tree.
Believe in your capabilities;
Live a confident life.

Crying isn't an atrocity,
It's beautiful.

It shows that you have a functioning soul;
It expands and contracts
It can feel emotion and display it.

It shows that you understand importance of life;
It displays your hurt and pain
It displays your dissatisfaction

Crying shows the world that you're sensitive and that you have a heart that deserves to be cared for.

Music:
manipulates emotions.
indices emotions.
forms expectations.
creates utopia.
inspires lives.
sets the tone.
promotes calm.
excites individuals.
establishes a whole new form of communication through common enjoyment.

Music is powerful.

A princess, dressed in white, seeks an opportunity to share her soul with a deserving prince. This princess is tall in confidence and full of admiration for herself. She's like a white tiger: rare and beautiful. She fights all sorts of battles to find her prince.

A prince, dressed in a suit, prepares himself to find a princess in order to live his life with a partner. He walks about like a lion, looking determined to get what he has set out for. He's a lion that is commonly found, but has a soul that is unique. He fights "gentleman" and boys on his way to victory.

One single path, travelled in opposite directions.
First sight: a connection.

The prince acknowledges the beauty and rarity of the princess. He gets on one knee and iterates that the princess is more important than he is.

He wears a piece of cloth that represents freedom and diversity.

This shows that people from completely different backgrounds or natures can become cohesive. Love has no protocol.

Do you ever bloom?

Bloom:

Open up and display your beauty,
Start afresh;
Allow new people into your life
And beautify the world.

Do you ever die?

Die:

Close and initiate the façade,
Hibernate;
Take a rest from those who killed you
And show the world what it did to you.

Do you ever love?

Love:

Remain closed and appreciate,
Love yourself;
Compliment yourself
And kiss the mirror by mistake.

Do you ever cry?

Cry:

Open up and let it out,
Flood the pain;
Make it suffer like it made you suffer
And send it back to the devil.

Do you ever live life for your own growth?

We used to stay up 'till 12 to communicate
Sacrifices were made to be together
There was no need to elaborate
Our common endeavour

Love was sleek
Love was tangible
It was never like hide and seek
Where we couldn't see each other anymore

My hugs satisfied you
Your touch satisfied me
I was in front of the que
Of being in the heart I wanted to be

A stray eye
Was never unintended

A life without a mother is like fighting a war

alone.

In life, is there a certain amount of gratitude that we must have?
A certain amount of appreciation?
Should we only receive when we're ready to be grateful?

I find this challenging...
Being able to accept a gift of something kind, but feeling as if your reaction or emotions aren't substantial enough to support what you have received.

Naked;
No more protection
All my scars are visible
Every body part is uncovered
My beauty is unfiltered
I'm on display
Whether you like me or not
I'll show you all of my beauty
Love me
Explore me with ease
But respect God's art.

We see
colours
categories
styles
religions
values
differences
But we don't see the love that marries all of these together

Forced away
Lured back
Back and forth
I fight both directions
As I fight
I split
Tear
Wider
Deeper
The ocean fits into this cavity
I've drowned

The cliché "contrast" is black and white
But in reality there is much more to contrast:
Success and failure,
Night and day,
Living and thriving.

Once living the dream, now living the nightmare.
That's reality's contrast
Once being confident, now being sceptical.
That's reality's contrast.

The only visible light and dark contrast in reality is whether you cry during the day where everyone can see you and your sufferings or during the night where no one can see the real you and what you have come to.

Darkness might be beautiful, but only when you see glimmers of light.
You'll go out into the city and describe the darkness as beautiful just because of the light you see within the darkness.

Darkness allows you to blend in
Your inner darkness escapes as you cry
As you express yourself to the surrounding emptiness
Eventually you become covered with your emitted darkness.

Cry during the day and the viewers will look, glance, stare

laugh

And they know what you're going through?

You get drenched in darkness by the actions of others and your own excretion.

Darkness can house beauty, but darkness is slowly taking over.

You emitt a sense of dignity
You display beauty and excitement
Your appearance is a sight that can heal any brokenness
Your spine holds together all the stories of your innermost being.

Your structure aids your courtesy
A flip-style lid that uncovers all your experiences
A passageway to your inner workings.

Your appearance is mostly a façade;
One that enlightens and softens the viewer
When the lid is flipped and your inner self uncovered, everything seems different.

Your inside displays short bursts of anger
Punctuation is used all over
Complexities in understanding display uncertainty
A sense of broken and relentless suffering;
One that is nothing less than negative.

The shell around this inside is solid, rigid and safe.
Without opening the lid up, the inside would not be exposed.

These two entities are completely different and independent from each other.

You are like a book:
The outside - the lie
The inside - the truth.

Sometimes, you don't get what you want.
Sometimes, you have to move away from what you want.
Most times, you end up wanting to turn back.
Most times, you die on your way back.

she sits miles away but you think she's right next to you
she sits in corners that make it difficult to reach
her life is a game called 'the maze' and you're in it
reach the centre of the maze and see her alone
she seems lost bewildered

you make your way to the centre (of your life)
your centre becomes eccentric as your centre moves away
she your centre sees someone else and runs towards him passionately
they leave the maze feeling victorious
together

you walked miles to see her and realize that she has walked miles to see someone else
your heart beats on every tenth step you take nearing the end of your life
the intent that she has is present but for someone who isn't
you

Love makes us blind to anything we deem to be intolerable or immoral, and only allows us to see beauty.

a rose
might yield
intentions
fake and loveless intentions
intentions to use and abuse
none to love and appreciate
only to have a quick
fulfillment
then maybe a "i love you"
just to get some more fulfilment
a sneak peek into the unknown
the wanted to be known
fake
fake
fake
"love"
just for flesh on flesh
all of this concealed in a one gesture
the use of a rose