"But you need a prescription to get Xanax."
The internet told me
Lying in the cabinets?
I don't need more drugs to get me high
Medicines are legal, right?
So I'm sitting here again
Looking for Legal drugs
Teens get high on
Because I regret
Throwing my drugs away
A poem evey day.
I took some Xanax
Hoping that getting high would take away this ******* pain
But this **** ain't making it
I'm going crazy
I wanna burn the house down
But my lighter I can't find out
*** am I gonna do right now
"Xanax for the pain inside my brain,
temporarily easing off of the full throttle gas petal that drives me insane.
Almost silencing all of the screams ,
and repetitive voices of my own self conscious, blaming self for all of my
regrets and broken dreams.
The calming of my **** inner demons,
abusing me with the ways of their
I am still my own worst enemy,
and always will be,
I know it's wrong
but I can't get rid of you
I know I should move on
But you taste to good
you fill this void that i struggle to even mention
you fill this void that i try to hide from everyone
and i can never get enough
I can never leave you behind
because you were there for me when nobody was
you helped me sleep at night
you helped me make friends
you helped me when nobody could
thank you Xanax
but this is a good bye
you almost took my life
you stabbed me in the back and left
when I tried to break away you reminded me of my faults
you dragged me into my casket and wanted nothing good for me
you got me *****
you got me almost killed
you got me hospitalized
you tore my family away from me
I can't even have a relationship without you ruining my chances
Xanax, I loved you
but all things come to an ended
I have out grown you
I need a break from your temptations
I am sorry
but I chose my life
daylight has never been your most flattering
and how could it be?
you never sleep,
because life is but a dream
like that old
dear god of boujee
women, the ones with
let me autotune myself to sound inhuman,
say my prayers to
in the dying light
of the atl
my only hymn i have to
offer is that of
and instead of bread and wine
i have lean and
our eyes will never
and new money, who dis?
will forever be the closest thing
we have to a mantra
Can't tell if my vision is blurring or my windshield is vibrating from the music I'm blurting.
Either way, I can't hear my thoughts over the bars he spits and the bars I swallowed.
But things seem better when my head feels hallow.
On almost crashing my car while on xanax
Half an orange
to help me sleep
to help me not think of you
to help me shut down my brain
like a laptop that's been left on
for two weeks straight
I break an orange pill in half
tonight I hope it's all I need
to help me sleep
I toss it back
I hope it doesn't get caught
in the corners of my throat
like all the words
I cannot say out loud
I take pills
because there's not enough wine
to drown out my thinking
not enough meditation
to quiet the constant hum
I long for a day
when sleep did not escape me
the night before
Have a cup of anxiety
It will go down well with your vanity
And sip it down your narcissistic throat
All the way down to your stomach bloat
Eat the food for your hungry belly
Watch your legs turn to strawberry jelly
Your obsessive thoughts come out your ears
As you quickly chew down all your fears
Crybaby tears and acidic words
Make swallowing all the more absurd
Your mascara smudged eyes watch your
Your brain candy makes a banana split-
It's a nightmare you can barely control
But if you don't pay attention it will eat
So swallow down all your crazy mad panics
Along with your trusty reliable xanax
i sent flashing lights to his door,
i didn't want to risk it.
the image of those pills and that deep brown coffee liqueur scared me, the thought of him filling himself with it.
he told me he wasn't mad at me for it,
he told me everything was okay and not to do it again, though.
i guess he felt too bad,
i guess it hurt him like last time.
she sent the flashing lights to the forest,
she told me that things weren't looking up.
my cheeks are tacky with tears,
my nose is stuffy.
now i'm just waiting all night,
now i'm just waiting until i get a message that they found him in the forest.
i can't sleep knowing that i'm part of why,
i can't sleep wondering if he'll be okay.
suicide. the police stopped looking for him because the woods were too dark and they'll resume in the morning. all i'm hoping for is that he's alive.
i was never into all that crazy ****
or going back just to take a hit
let's give it up for the kids that are lonely
the ones that are scared
real friends so uncommon
so fake i'm convinced they're mass produced
currently trying to find my way out
partying on a weekday
i don't care if i get laid, or laid off
i'm finally breaking out of my shell
xanies with the girls in the bathroom
lines of that powder
and they say it's all right, harmless.
it's all harmless.
//i want to go home\\