Dear,

"Lucky"

are little stars
As they watch over as you walk at night;
Guide each step you make
and smile when you take a glimpse of the skies
Lucky are pouring tears
As they caress your cheeks and feel your warmth;
They're your sunshine, fire and storm—
The fragments you keep inside your beating heart
Lucky are silly jokes
As they make you blush and laugh out loud;
Making your eyes smile—
For a second at least, you're free from this world
Lucky are love songs
As they touch your lips whenever you sing;
They are the words you want
to say and to feel, to you they mean a thing

     To be the skies;
     To be inside your heart;
     To be a huge part of your world;
     To mean a thing;

Oh lucky are these lines
as they breathe out that, which I keep inside of me—
A letter, a scream, a poem;
How I wish for nothing great but just To be


truly yours,
dear

I hear you
I hear that scream you've been keeping inside
I hear every drop of tear you never shed
I hear those rants trying to break free
I hear you wishing
        to the heavens;
        on a well;
        and while blowing candles;
for a voice
Though I hear you
So clear
So loud
The most deafening I ever heard,
I hear you.
So here's to you
and to your silence
You need not a better voice that would resound everywhere,
You need better ears that would listen every time

(haiku)

Places where we stay
Invisible walls apart
–never getting through

Fall in love with yourself
again
Like when you were five
When,
          your first crush turned you down
          but you didn't stop singing
          your nursery rhymes
Twinkle, twinkle little star
again

You are the worst nightmare
A cruel vision of abandonment
You appear as a dream come true, or you try to
then you turn into the darkest version of The Knight
a scared, a scarred little girl could ever imagine

You are the worst nightmare
whispering it's just natural for you to happen
That she should just forget and get over you,
that you are you and nothing would change
"So little girl stop your drama"

You are the worst nightmare
For after that you keep appearing in different nights
screaming everything changes, like feelings
But dear nightmare do you really have one of those now
when you only turn around justifications to save yourself

From your worst nightmare
That you are you -
a (k)nightmare
that little girl will cry over
because for her you were the most beautiful

Oh you are the worst nightmare
for only such beautiful nightmares could do such things -
          hurt her heart the most,
          stay in her memory the longest,
          and **** her dreams the hardest

Our fingers interlock
As my nose touch the nape of your neck
What a wonderful love
Yet tears chase themselves in a quiet escape

For these eyes without doubt
See I'm the only one that would wear the crown
Once everything would be gone
You could live without me but never the other way around

(haiku)

He's fire, red flames on
Incinerating bridges
To my distant past

Am I a fool for believing in love
or am I just Me trying to strive
Eitherway a beast awakened
Eitherway I felt the pain
Oh I've been asking, Dear Lord
*If love is cheap then why can't I afford?

Dear Love
Like a flower on the ground
I  stand on my own
I look up and watch the stars at night
And count the rays of light in the morning
Day by day, Dear Love, like a flower
I keep on waiting
I miss the soft caress of one wind
And long for the cool breeze of one breath
Whispering in my ears
Tingling the nape of my neck
And I, like a flower waving and swaying
Turning and then bending
As if beautiful music is playing
I, like a flower on the ground
Dear Love
I would dance to feel you around

In another dimension you could take heed of her dreams;
                  a desire no deeper than a pair of wings
                  praying she can soar the skies, again,
                  like airplanes do
                  because even the fallens are angels too

Shhhh

Yes I probably should just keep my mouth shut
about this
about you
about *us
About that hell breach of trust;

About the evil you probably should've not done
to me
and to her
and I heard, to another
To each one of us, the "one you love" eh?

I wonder into how many
broken. little. pieces.
your childish empty heart split
That you could lend each one of us
one part of it

Shhhh

Yes I probably should just keep my mouth shut
but I've had enough
I am tired
of catching nosy stares
and of being the kind little martyr

The respect,
the hope, that small trust
that was left
All gone
All drowned into disgust

It ain't a bitter feeling
not even bittersweet
darling, say
it's just a one deep sigh
after one tiresome and foolish afternoon play

But
Shhhh
don't worry kid
Though I realize all this time I have done so,
I'd still be keeping my mouth shut

About you
About us
About that ****, breach of trust
Yes I'm keeping my mouth shut
but I'm letting this verse do all the blab

Standing with the shadows of the past
Looking at the radiance of tomorrow
On my feet, with my thoughts, on the verge
Of falling or holding on
Of gambling and risking all
Of breaking deeply either way:

To jump would break the night
*To persist would break the dawn

I want to run away,
to detach myself from myself
Leave behind that ball of pain building in the depths
Inside this heart, inside of me –
            inside the love you never feel
            when you hold me or look at me
            or when your fingers ring the bell;
It’s time to say goodbye,
to detach myself from myself
from this solitary brokenness which I forever felt
But first, tell me how you begin
to live and smile again
Tell me
How do you escape and free yourself
from being clothed in pain?

I drew your heart on a piece of paper
and painted it with pastel colors
It's sad,
because,
you wanted it to be vivid
But darling I held my brush,
again,
against the palette

If there is none that makes up our souls
then why does a little bit of you make me considerably whole
If there is none that bridges our hearts
then why does yours beat together with mine from the start
And if there is none that needs to be heard or said
then why does each word revive a spot in us that has long been dead

Of all the dark rooms I have visited in my life
There's this one which my heart,
                                     my tears;
                                     and blood;
            have built a home at
Every part of me clashes in each wall
And I can feel my consciousness fade out with the rest of the world
I bathe in my existence alone
(in the deepest secrets that flow in my veins)

            Scratches on the floor.
            Footprints on my heart.
            Wrecks from the ceiling.
            Cobwebs in my mind.

Sighs
Warm and heavy and bittersweet sighs;
The forces within are the air I breathe
It suffocates my lungs but still allows me to live
It is toxic and I like it,
                                     every
                                     single
                                     corner
                                     of it
It is an obscure, bad, bad room only my alter ego knows about
Like a cozy place for making love.
Like a perfect space for plotting crimes.