We bumped at each other a while ago.
I felt this weird pump in my chest but you only laughed.

Of course, you think we're friends,
but I like to think we're more than that.

I got a twitch in my nose
Just can keep still
Because you'll never know
That I love you for real

It's cute when we say it
But it's more than that
It's the feeling of taking a leap
Knowing it might be a step back

Don't know how you'll react...

But I love you
The whole you
The person in and out
Who's crooked smile
is the only thing I think about

And even when your mouth
droops down into a frown
I want to be the one to help you through
Whatever it is you need to do
to make you smile again
But will "more than a friend"
make you frown?

I cannot tell whether we are friends.
I do not know how you are seeing me.
Friends or more than that.

I check websites like a teenager who fell in love for the first time to seek for any clues to find out your true feelings for me.
Your attitude marks as if you are not interested in me more than just a friend when I look up "signs your crush is not into you" pages.
Your behavior indicates that I am more than just a friend to you when I skim through "signs your crush is also into you" pages.

I hardly think we should date, even if we are both in love with each other.
Because I don't think we are compatible.
Because I am scared of any other rejection.
Because you have been one of my closest friends for years.
Because I am not strong enough to cut out my ex-boyfriend who might be the one for me.

I do not want to lose someone important in my life ever again.
Especially you. You are essential in my life.
But I do not want to miss out any possibility if we could be the best couple on earth.
I know I look sneaky by holding a chance to get back with my ex-boyfriend. But I am not into him at all currently, just he has been also one of the closest friends so I do not want to lef go of him if he is the one for me.
Someone guide me, please. Someone who knows the future, please guide me to the right decision.

Late night
The lights turned low.
Nowhere to go.
Moments spent with you,
Laughing, tripping.
Sunk in satisfaction.
Another moment spent with you nowhere to go.
A night in ,
Arms lax, legs spread.
The chronicles of knowing where to find you.
Kicked back, vibing.
Random conversations followed by sensual voice.
About life. Something more than what compliments the eye.
Past relationships brought out the blue.
What makes you smile, the things you hope to accomplish.
The feeling is dope.
The temptation of again near.
Not much to say,
Head laid in your lap.
Remote on the floor.
Eventually one of us has to move.
More than friends caught on a late night.
How we feel no longer played off.
Somewhere we can meet that's more private.
Caught between commercials.
Put to sleep, the couch single witness.
The creaks put to rest.
Our motion slows.
Shadows come to rest.
Remote still on the floor,
The night no longer young.
The lights low with you in my arms.

i parked my car in your driveway
promising myself i was over you
and waited for a moment
promising myself i was over you
my head rested in my hands
promising myself i was over you
i heard myself open the car door
promising myself i was over you
and shut it
promising myself i was over you
i jogged up your gravel driveway
promising myself i was over you
and almost turned around
promising myself i was over you
i hopped up the porch steps
promising myself i was over you
and knocked three times
promising myself i was over you
i blinked
promising myself i was over you
and you were suddenly there
promising myself i was over you
no words were spoken
promising myself i was over you
your blue eyes like the sea
promising myself i was over you
you smiled
promising myself i was over you
and i realized you didn’t hate me
promising myself i was over you
you asked if i was okay
promising myself i was over you
i lied
promising myself i was over you
“yeah, i’m better than ever”
promising myself i was over you
you said you were glad we could still be friends
promising myself i was over you
i lied again
promising myself i was over you
“me too.”
realizing i wasn’t over you

You've shed tears on my shoulder,
you've made me laugh and smile,
You've picked me up from every single low,
If ever I'm in trouble, it's your number I dial,
It makes my feelings battle, to and fro,
We treat each other soundly, like family some would say,
For you, I'd simply take that fatal shot,
I'd never ask the question, just move right in the way,
Yet emotions, sure of them I'm simply not,
I always sat and wondered: what if we could be more?
What if I'd taken one more giant leap?
In honesty, confusion, I think it closed the door,
And now it's left me but a ****** heap,
I see you as a sister, and that's how it should be,
I don't want our relationship to end,
For we were never lovers, and now it's dawned to me,


**You're always better to me as a friend.

Diminutive in frame and stature
defines him not, but instead enhances the
brilliance of his smile’s shine.
The golden flakes of honesty in his warm brown eyes
covey one vice that is captivation.
They hold hostage your most destructive thoughts
to instantaneously
replace them with the best; of
joy, contentment, and love-the best of him.

His high cheek bones define a mouth
so perfectly constructed.
They rise and fall like oceans’ waves with
every gentle gesture.

He thinks of love as a pool of chances
and illogically
he dives into the hurt he’s found himself in once
twice, no wait, three times.
But still, he never falters to give “chance”
just one more chance to prove he’s done what’s right.

Secondary comes his needs, in light of someone else’s.
The thoughts, “too tired” or “too busy” does nothing for him because
if someone needs help, you help them undoubtedly.
I  have seen the coat that once
cascaded on his back give warmth to one
who had no coat
or smile
or joy
or light.

And for that one he lowered his head
to ask God for a favor.
I met this guy, this “perfect” guy when innocence consumed me
and since that day we’ve been each other’s confidant and comforter.
My love towards him supersedes that of a friend or
the best of that.

The truest thing I know is that when everyone one else
disappears to the mundane norms of life,
he will be there with me to cut through
the silence with rolls of laughter.
At what? It does not matter.
Because when I’m with him and he’s with me
there is a “we” that is formed and that “we” is captivates me

An infinite truth is that I will never stop
loving this young man.
He keeps my heartbeat steady so I
must exclaim the best of
joy, contentment, and love-the best of him.

We could just be friends,
But that would be too easy.
For you to turn and run...
For you to go and leave me...

We could just be friends,
But then we'd have no excuse.
For the conversation that last for hours...
For feelings they induce...

We could just be friends,
But these feelings would last forever...