The tide glides in
Like silk to my skin
And I long
To veil my body
With the sensation.
Stretch out
Face down
And let it pull me
To it's ground.  
But I am a coward
And watch
As the water recedes.
"Please,
Wait for me".

We are all born alone
Lost souls as we grow
Searching for a purpose
For something steady to hold
So we live out each day
In hopes that someday we'll know
And as soon as I had you
I knew to never let go

Does your body know you’re awake?

Does it lay there,
Restless
Aching for attention
Dreaming of sensations,
Spiritual suspension
Endless thoughts churning
Trying to backstroke
Chin-deep
In the shallow end?

And as you float
Half immersed
And lucid waves gently raise
The tips of your fingers, the
Hairs on your neck
So above and below
Satisfaction’s sweet edge—
Think of me, insatiably
Before you drift off weary ledge

Until tomorrow,
Where I’m sure we’ll meet again

I stumble as if intoxicated
But reek of agony instead.
Not even the strongest liquor
Could rinse you from my head.
While thinning the blood in my veins
My heart pounds to what you said.
Though I would rather you love me,
You would much rather be dead.

I have accepted change
And that everything will change
And I've accepted that our feelings
Won't forever be the same.

But I've learned you shan't focus
On keeping the flower alive
But rather watch as it blooms
And lay it to rest when it dies.

You're so violent
With your words
And I take the blows
Because at least I'm touched.
You inject your poison
With a kiss
And I love the taste,
Painful as it is.
If loving you is suicide
Oh, how I love to die.  
You say girls are prettiest
When they cry,
How beautiful am I?

I’ve sobbed for hours,
Then for days,
Ache blurring lifeless gaze
Stolen breaths come incomplete
And, too quickly, are replaced.
I’ve sobbed from twilight until noon
Filling this entire room
Watching skin succumb to prune
Hair, molasses, ‘round my neck
Pirouettes to desperate croon.
I’ve sobbed through sunrise and sunset
Muddled orange and violet
Lighting crests of waves deflect
Fading as they intersect.
I sob for eras and for lives
Until none of them survive,
So what light exists beyond the depth
Can magnetize and resurrect,
And eyes can greet horizon new
Reflecting glowing golden hue
Desaturating retrospect
As currents sway to sovereign tune.

The world can be a darkless place
Fires fervent in heart’s ember—
So I douse its ash into a bath,
And submerge in shades familiar

Sweet scent, my gravity
Carries me
Wandering
Through winding trees
Fallen leaves hiss at me
An omen, indistinct
Upon the clearing
My meadow stands empty, save for
A maple. Its sap,
Rust and wine,
A fountain of false prophets
From which I feast
Into scorched earth, I cough up teeth
Scarlet blood boiling
Back up at me

The only thing I crave
After drinking myself sick
Is to be in your presence.
And I'm sorry for all of the drunk calls
But you never answer anyway.
I'm wondering if I'm nauseated
By the whiskey in my blood
Or the coldness of your eyes
That practically shouted their goodbyes
And gave me nightmares
About soulless creatures
And almost lovers.
I feel like I've said this all before
But you're never around to hear it.
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you,
But I'm sick, sick, sick.

We set fire to the truths inside us
Hoping to find some comfort
Among the ashes
But I know good and well
There really is no escape
From the stakes you've pushed
So deep in my skin.

I'm afraid
If I’m awake much longer
I wont wake up
Tomorrow

It’s Tuesday, I think
Glass windows share few stories
In grey. The sun hasn’t found
An opening
Between my blinds
In days
***** dishes hardly inhabit
The sink. I wash them every chance
I get. It feels good to know
What to do
With my hands

It’s new day, I think
Curtains drape
In heavy embrace. I wonder
What warmth lurks behind them
That can’t be found
In my drink. Fluids slosh
And swell
In ambers beneath my skin
I wring my wrists of goodbyes
So bereft. It feels good to know
What to do
With my hands

You kiss me with your native tongue
Between sea salted breaths
Hints of starfruit and filth
Relish saintly dialects
Distant malaise clings to
Gritted teeth, unclenched
Your kaleidoscope soul
Vulnerable, drenched
Dripping liquified gold
Ornate in transcendental air
Upstaging whatever gods
May reside up there

The crashing of the waves
Reminds me of my head
Hitting the wall
After I've told myself
A million times
'I can't love you I can't love you'
And the wind
Slapping my face
Reminds me of how I felt
When I watched you walk away
For the last time
And it's your voice
Echoing along the cliff's edge
'Jump jump'.

Finding beauty in the transition
From fall to winter
Is like trying to find color
In the dead leaves on the ground

Can’t you hear me?
My tongue hurls your name
Into the wind
Moving east
Urging storm’s brewing
Rising with the chill
Of eery lake
Carrying my echoes
Through clouds of haze
Damp desperation
Voice, strained, releases
Surges of rain
And sleet. Pooling,
Pleading at your feet
Drown in my essence
Watch as it breathes
Watch as it weaves
Through the valleys and summits
Of your goosebumps
In intricate lattice
Ice lace tourniquet
Asphyxiating sadness
From sore hands. Solitude
From weary eyes. Silence
From blackened lungs
Darker than the thundering sky
Reverberating anthems
Of my unfulfilled soul
And my direful need
To be made whole
By you

I believe in your heart
And the way it makes me feel
As if mine has grown.

I believe in your eyes
And the way they make me feel
As if I'm at home.

Your lies could stretch for miles
And I'd still hang on your every word
As if your voice was a buoy
In my sea of senselessness.  
I long to love you
The way you should be loved,
But I'm not sure how you'd handle truth
If it were to wrap around your tongue.

For all the men I’m ****** to love
For all the deaths I’m doomed to die
I lay in wait one crest above
The wave on which fate idles by

One thing is imperative
That you understand:
I will bow to no God,
and kneel to no man.
I am sure and steady
On these feet where I stand,
And any faith I possess
Is placed in my hands.