I wanted so bad to be done with the fight
I no longer cared 'bout who's wrong and who's right

©2025

I had a dream last night
About suddenly waking up
But the dark had engulfed the light

Gone was the fight
Both sides giving up
On simple wrong and right

I'm awaken to a primitive plight
Ageing but not growing up
Somewhere out in the multiverse I might

Forget reaching the highest hight
It's not looking up
Not a single goal in sight

The futures not too bright
It's burning up
While we argue who hit ignite

It's too much to take onsite
No throwing up
Only ingest a small bite
Maybe it will be alright

©2025

Sometimes it's better
To not have ever
Even tried
"Never say never"
Should come with a disclaimer
Spread wide

Watch for the tide
Current's make a deadly ride
Try to remember
More people than not have lied
Wrong and right often mingle on the same side
A good person's not even a contender

©2025

Seas churn wildly
Dancing with the icy wind
No land mass in sight
Alone in it's savagery
My heart and soul mirrors it

©2025

How does one live
Without a heart in his chest,
No positive thought in his head,
The worst presenting as his best?

A hopeless romantic
If it's not perfect, it's panic
Why is the worse case automatic?
I think it's called...manic

There's suppose to be no need
No one should be expected to try
What if I'm wrong?
Or what if I'm right and people lie

I just want you
To want to want what I want too
And maybe help put a few insecurities to bed
And pretend for a fleeting second true love's true

©2025

I put the pasta in the water
And watched the burner get hotter and hotter
But the water refused to boil
Sitting on the red hot coil
Then the instant I walked away it boiled over

©2025

Foresight
No conclusions
Could be wrong, maybe right
Try seeing through the night without
Moonlight

©2025

Fly me to the moon
Pinky promise you'll come back to me soon
And I'll wait for you from sundown to high noon
Playing our favorite tune

©2025

The tears shed for what has long since gone will only distort the importance of every right here, right now, leading to nothing but regret when what's all said and done catches up to the setting sun

©2025

Five quick syllables
Then you plug in seven more
Five will wrap it up

©2025

I see you look at me
But do you see me?
Am I see through?
Could it be that easy?

When you do look,
What are you looking for?
Only what you want to see?
What if I'm something more?

Will you lie to yourself
If you see something different?
If I'm not perfect but maybe adjacent
Will that still justify a replacement?

I don't know what this is
I don't know why I form questions
To queries I want no answers too
Just to repeat the painful lessons

©2025

Find me in the shadows
Cowering behind broken windows
Obsolete and useless
Like old Nintendos
Single celled amongst the minnows
Fear the stage, cancel shows
Tattered armor from the battles
When oh when
Will I get to chalk up my first win?
Who knows
I mean
Who knows?
Been trading blows
With good and evils
Gods and devil's
A perpetual looser revels
With a fat lip and broken nose
I lie about it so it still grows
As time slows
Behind a cold wind that blows
New highs
New lows
No,
Reoccurring lows
Kept on stepped on toes
A blade allows me to watch
Oxygen turn life from blue to red
As it flows
And drips off the edge
Of pointy elbows
Not caring where it goes
Never telling what it knows

©2025

I can't phrase the question

I forever run from an answer

I've learned nothing from either

But fear itself

©2025

Finally,
So not all of a sudden but gradually,
It's been proven systematically
Everybody WILL leave me
And no,
I'm not a fortune teller phoney
Want proof?
Well,
That's easy
Follow closely
A quick peek and you'll see
Everyone has left me
The problem is me,
Obviously,
Self doubt has it's very own key
But here's what gets me,
When I want to leave me
Suddenly
That's another something wrong with me
You don't want me
I don't want me
How do those conclusions land differently?
Identical mindsets but yours are worthy
Of walking away unapologetically
Levitating an old issue like I've lost gravity
But still wound up in the devils proximity
Clearly
I'm the only one not allowed to not want me
Love it's self is a fallacy
Someone needs to explain that duality

©2025

It's twelve something in the morning
A vague block of time past
The empty celebration
I meander outside
Hopelessly alone,
Just me and a cigarette
And when it burns out,
No longer lit
I'll then yell and scream
Louder than I can
Untill my voice gives up on me too
Finally leaving me
And I can no longer
Even call upon a whisper
As I make the biggest decision of my life...
...at least up to this point...
To go solo for what's left of this venture
Where I hope to discover
Me
The entity
That I've heard called Jeremy

©2025

Poverty,
The losing end of a lottery
Forced to sustain a thread bare society
Manufacture a rivalry
But first get 'em use to seeing it on TV
Cosplay as naturally
There goes the humanity
Can't find neighborly
No comradery
Acceptance the oddity
Just, "single file please" to the factory
Talk back and be privy
To the reality of free
Copy, paste, delete, recopy
The definition of insanity
The loss in every "VICTORY!"
Is plain to see
But the pillow mints are complimentary
Subdued easily
Simply
Like smoke to a bee
The screen hides the real you and me

I suffer from an internal judgment
I don't need yours on top of it
With this loser title I'm complacent
Save your beratement
Find some other sucker in their mothers basement
To fold into your statement
Don't play games with a sharp wit
Death is my only engagement
That's the only thing proven permanent
Unconditional love?
Never heard of it

©2024

She close fist punches me
Open hand slaps me repeatedly
Throws shiit at me
And still expects respect
Out of me
Like I'm some kind of nuthouse dummy
I must be
My own quest enemy...

©2024

There was no intention in me
To walk away from you
It was more or less something
You inspired me to do

©2024

She says he's hard to handle
When he flies off the handle
So she reaches for the mantle
Grabs a solid base from a candle

He spews venom in his words
She says that hurts the worst
He knows physical violence is what she prefers
Her clenched hands are where the DV occurs

Her screams turns to subtle cries
He dabs her bloodshot eyes
She says, "why bother to apologize?"
They're both tired of the lies

They question if this is love
Compassion and passion
Turned push and shove
They meet cordially in the middle
Only to say enough is enough

©2024

I went looking for revenge
I only found the edge
Of good and evil
Teetering on the steeple
What side will it fall?
That's anybody's call
The victorious write the history
Leaving moral a pointless remedy
The loser is always the enemy
But how often does victory,
Align with the righteous?
Glory is told despite this
The innocent pay the price
Propaganda paints it nice
So the mindless can sleep easy
But what's that mean for you and me?
Simply put we all fall in line
Regardless if yours starts or ends in a different place than mine

©2024

I've given real life
Forty plus years of my time
I'd rather just exist
In an altered state of mind

©2024

Of course I went and messed up again
That's how everything for me comes to an end
What did I think was truly going to happen?
Especially when
My shoulder demon is my only friend
I can not even comprehend how it all began
Was I destined to be a heathen?
If we have to go back to the beginin'
Just leave it there and not mess with poison
I've been here before again and again
It's a trend that might hypothetically completely break me
Regardless of how well I can bend
They can't break the broken

©2024

Don't have to acknowledge the sty
When we're all blind from an eye for an eye
~•§•~
There's a broken heart in every lie
A loose thread in every tie
~•§•~
Look and you'll find failure in every try
The hardest question proposed or answered is,
"Why?"
~•§•~
Why does what I apply
End up needing an alibi?
~•§•~
Ignore those that only supply
Some self serving reply
~•§•~
Life is something you can't defy
Walk your own path and fry
~•§•~
Don't worry if you can't fly
Only gods live in the sky
~•§•~
They're probably getting high
Just to f*cking get by
~•§•~
Ghosts can still cry
But the dead inside can't seem to die

©2024

I cry in the rain
So the tears look the same
While blurring the stain
Helping to hide the shame
From the masculinity
Attached to my name
Who's to blame?
Society?
Maybe,
But it just adds to the pain
That follows the grain
Of this hardened exterior
I can no longer maintain

©2024

"How can she be so awful
Then walk around almost proud?"
I say to myself but out loud
While the only thing around
Is this lingering black cloud
So did I even make a sound?

©2024

Can't hide the rigors
Of anxiety and fears
Even knowing what it harbors
Can't cloak their effects from mirrors
It figures
Such a force can disfigure figures
Right under the skin it lingers
The worst possible time is when it appears
Rears up to rip down the facade and veneers
The you you knew is what it devourers
What good are middle fingers,
When only directed at yourself?
For now,
I guess,
I'll have to put that question on the shelf

©2024

The only thing one tends to see
Is the person I don't want to be
Silly me
Obviously
The fruit has spoiled on this tree
Despite me
Or in spite of me
I keep coming back but leave empty
Mostly disappointment only
Ignoring the warning from the Canary
I can't stand steady
Amongst a broken levee
I don't have the energy
To be angry
Or for that matter, happy
Both weigh far too heavy
Forced to take a knee
Taken from me
Is the thought of ever being free
Of me
Not even a possible maybe
My full name and bio in permanent ink on generic stationary
There's no further in front of me
That's what's really scary
Trust me

©2024

You want me to remember
Everything you've ever said
While you sit there and pretend
Our issues only come from one end

I need you to remember
Everything you've ever said
I will not defend
Just because you said it instead

From January on through December
I warn I'm seeing red
The monsters under the bed
Fear the ones inside my head

I try to be clever
Struggling to keep one step ahead
Of those oh so familiar thoughts of dread
And write my feelings in poems you've never read
...although
They only contain everything I've already said

©2024

Permanent are
The memories trapped in a scar
And though a few might fade,
It'd be quicker to count every star
At times I don't notice them
Other times they're another prison bar
Attempts to hide them are made
But mummification seems a step too far
In my day to day they are
All I can see,
Haunting my reality
They've stolen the getaway car
And I'll not make it far
In this mangled avatar

©2024

Dear Lord,

Hi,
Hello there
How are you?
Actually and more importantly,
Who are you?
Who am I?
Why don't you ask how am I?
Don't you want to get to know me?
Why don't you come down from the sky?
On some devine rescue
Where's the compassion?
I'd settle for pity
We're all blind from an eye for an eye
Why can't we meet face to face,
Eye to eye?
You must know I don't fear you
So it must be you who fears me
What kind of father are you?
Most figured by now
You'd have come through
But you seem to be afraid of anything new
Of course I've turned on you
Well,
Turned from you
But that's on you

©2024

Obviously
Both comedy and tragedy
Feed on
And are fed by reality
With a savagery
So if you play nice
You might find the happy in strife
Both can
Take you by the hand
And lead you to the promise land
Your best guess of an afterlife
Slice the tension with a knife
To get the upper hand
Don't bite the hand
Try to
Stick to
The grand plan
But prepare to fall when you take your stand
Humble humility will get you knocked off the grandstand
Then where will you stand?
Honestly,
It all feels like quicksand
No buts, just and
I too don't understand

©2024

Living in the middle of the beginning of the end
To much time taken
None left to spend
The shoulder devil's my guardian angels only friend
Quality of life a dying trend
Tucked into a deathbed
Then pretend to be on the mend
Bend the truth until it's a lie that you have to defend
Be yourself
See what happens then
Hang in there like the cat poster said
Only postponing the fall in the end
Forced to contend
With that of which becomes to much to comprehend
Then,
It starts all over again
Over
And over
And over again

©2024

You ever want to write
Something different
Than what you seem to be able to write?
Not some profound insight
Just something lite?
Lord knows I more than might,
Like,
Let's say you wake up in the dead of the night
In the stillness of the moonlight
The room is dark
But the clock is bright
Enough for sight
What you want never feels right
You want to produce light
But your muse is always ready to put up a fight
And you swear there's more to you than hurt and pain
And you know you have this talent
But when you try to use it,
It's not the same
Is it all in vain?
The thoughts that creep in
Start to feel insane
600 plus poems should be enough to drain
Each and every issues main vain
Can someone please explain?
Standing on a beach while the good in you feels like a single grain
Maybe the good in you is there but tied to the tracks of life's train
What's there to gain?
What changes if you complain?
What I've found
Is standing your ground
Will only leave you maimed

©2024

I just want you to want me
But experience shows
That task's an absolute impossibility
Leading to a litany of woes
I can't be too mad
No one's been able to do it
Not mother, brother, sister or dad
A reality that even to myself I don't want to admit
It hurts but brings no tears of the sad
I literally have no more to give to it
A pain universally grand
A heartbreak university grad
Minus the school spirit
Nothing left of me to offer either
There's only rubble in my chest
Ruins of love from a life prior
When the heart was left on house arrest

©2024

I don't want to give up
In the face of everything telling me to let go
I wish I didn't,
But I know
And yes I know
Part of me will fall apart
My only hope is that it's slow
Praying to no one
That no one will know
Hope it doesn't show
But hope is so shallow
Hide behind my shadow
But don't allow
Darkness to retake control
And ransack this soul
Restacking the goal
The top goal flipped
To basic survival
Gone are the illusions
Of ever again being whole
Back in my hole I go
Back to the simple
A *******
Limping back to what I know

©2024

I close my eyes
A feeble attempt to get back to a dream
I realize
It's ridiculous to chase one particular theme
Too many tries
With no mind paid to what it could mean
I fantasize
But fantasies have a misleading gleam
The crystal ball lies
It's all a regurgitated, outdated scheme
My reality cries
But it's better than when it use to scream

©2024

If I knew then
What I know now
Would every new decision
Lead to the same place somehow?

©2024

~•§•~ Light Sleeper v2.0 ~•§•~
(song attempt/build)

One foot in the ground
One foot six feet deeper
With darkness all around
Fear's such a light sleeper
My fall never made a sound
Put the tree on loudspeaker
A picture doesn't last longer
If it's never a keeper

See here

Feeeearrr
Doesn't make a sound
What you heeeearrr
Is your spirit finally found
Get an eeeearrr...
...ful when you finally hear it
Just hope you survive it
And don't sound like a hypocrite

But that's just it
The stage is set
Place your bet
Guess what you get
You get
What you get
And that's just life
Yet we forget
How far we went
Can't repent
Good karma's spent
Left indecent
Ran the gauntlet
Pain's permanent
Still not been
Defeated yet

Think a sec

Feeeearrr
Doesn't make a sound
What you heeeearrr
Is your spirit finally found
Get an eeeearrr...
...ful when you finally hear it
Just hope you survive it
And don't sound like a hypocrite (x2)

©2024

If the devil is in the details,
Then where is god?
In the contradiction?
The vague?
In the hate,
And judgment?
Maybe it lies in the imagination?
Or is it sitting up in heaven
Watching his creation
Go up in flames
Refusing to take any action?
Could you imagine?

©2024

One foot in the ground
One foot six feet deeper
With darkness all around
Fear's such a light sleeper
My fall never made a sound
Put the tree on loudspeaker
A picture doesn't last longer
If it never is a keeper

©2024

My rock bottom
A bottomless pit
Terminal velocity reached
Left waiting for the floor to hit
All I can recall is the fall
I ready myself for the reality bit
Until I reach bottom
I can't pick myself up from it

©2024

How can the absolute fact that
"I'd do anything to see my son"
And the sinking reality
I've not made enough effort to see him
Exist in the same plane of existence?
A fuucking paradox
An impossible duality
But here I am
Standing in that exact reality
And the answer is me
There's no possibility,
Not even probably,
That he hasn't noticed the same
And that truth haunts me
Daily and nightly
Destroys absolutely
And completely
Why doesn't that push me?

©2024

"Life's about the journey
Not the destination"
Well pardon me
But I have a question,
What if the journey
Isn't worth the destination?
Follow me
Maybe somewhere in here is a lesson
...
The finish line is a dreamy fantasy
It has to be
Because the in-between
Of point A and point B
Has almost killed plenty
Literally a step away
From creating
A new ending
To a journey
No one would want to remember
Much less mention
One with no connection
To the original destination
Now not worth the journey

©2024

Just because you lost
Does not mean you gave up
Being held hostage by your own thoughts
Does not mean you surrendered
Coming undone and falling apart
Does not mean that you are then broken
Finding it hard to love yourself
Does not make you unworthy of love itself

©2024

Self destruction
With no red button
Internal spontaneous combustion

A flipped switch
Quick curve ball pitch
Veered straight for the ditch

No countdown timer
No red, no blue wire
Just a smoldering dumpster fire

Struggle with each next breath
Welcoming a last breath
A timeless back and forth with death

©2024

Feeling forced to
Live through
An impossible scenario
I'm someone who
Finds it hard to
Find anything but static on the radio
All this blue
Is nothing new
42 seasons of the same show
A tandem dive done solo
The sign says shallow
Margin for error narrow
But ***** it, here I go
'Look out below'

©2024

I've heard people are strange
When you're a stranger
A lesson learned
Only as you grow older

Faces look ugly
When you're alone
My past proves
No one pays no mind to what's shown

They say women seem wicked
When you're unwanted
My truth is I've wasted
All the time allotted

Streets are uneven
When you are down
Seemingly impossible
To find solid ground

The strange
Have faces they hide in the rain
It's strange
Couldn't be bothered to remember my name

Are you strange?
Am I strange?
What is straaaaaange?

©2024

Can I tell you my dreams?
Will you stick around long enough to understand what each means?
Should I skip over the nightmare scenes
That flicker through like 8mm on pull down screens
While the essence meanders by like dust through projector beams
Two extremes
Two cerebral regimes
Strange themes
Nothing's as it seems
Importance only found beyond the streams of screams
No, I don't think I will mention my dreams

©2024