I have in front of me
And array of striped mountains,
Slopes of undulating lines
That fill in my horizon.
There's music in the background
But all that I can hear
Is the whispers that she tells the night
In secret.
Her eyes so still,
Her gaze fixed under her eye lids,
Her lips so bare
It makes my skin long for them,
Her breaths so deep
I want to live in the space they fill.
I lay my heavy arms
And they spread along the mountains,
They have found a home.
A valley, at last,
In which to rest my burdens.

I'm bad
(And I love it).
When you leave,
the next one walks in
(And I love it).
The danger,
the risk,
the adrenaline pumping through my veins.
I love it.
The heartbreak,
the sorrow,
I save myself from it.
I'm bad, and I know it,
But you pushed me to the limit
And now I'm broken.
I'm bad because of you
(And I love it).

I wonder if you've noticed.

If you haven't
I would like to share with you
A little something:

I grew up with this idea
That someday I would grow up,
Have a girlfriend and get married.
I knew that I wanted children,
That I wanted a dog,
That we'd grow old in my house
And out in the driveway I'd have a Lambo
(I know, crazy, right?)
What I didn't know
Was how I was going to get there.
I didn't know that it wasn't that easy
And that, more than once,
I'd be hit with disappointment.
Not disappointed because I fell in love
And had my heart broken
(More than just a several amount of times)
But because I stepped out
Further and further from this utopia
I had set out for myself.

I learned, more than once,
That everyone had their own little story,
Everyone had their own little blueprint,
And not everyone was interested
In what I wanted.
I heard:
It's too early for you to think of those things,
Enjoy life and use all your energy on other things.
And I did.
I started drawing, started playing soccer,
I started writing poetry, and put music to my poems.
I started playing the guitar, I started singing,
I started to use my energy on "other things."
But the more I think about it
And the more I read about it
I was really just using those things
For my own story.

And that's the issue you should know about me
That's my so called "problem"
And the reason why you probably won't like me.
I lose sight of what's in front of me,
Chasing after what's ahead of me.
I forget the present and focus on the future,
And I fail to realize that you too
Have had to have
Some getting used to.
I don't know the secret
To a perfect relationship
Nor do I think I, as a person, am close to perfect.
And I know that you're not,
And I know you have your own faults and wants,
Your own needs,
And we're all a little selfish from time to time.

But here's the secret,
Here's the kicker,
The catch to my whole speech here:
I have tried to toss
All of my personal feelings aside,
I have tried to put my plans on hold
And fix myself onto the ground.
I've learned that that's how things often go
And it's not that I'm giving up on my plans
I just know that I want to be a part
Of your plans, and you of mine
Because I know that my plans
Could intertwine into your plans
And yours into mine
(That's what I hope anyway)
And if your plans and mine
All become one
Then I will have changed my blueprint,
And I will know the map.
I won't know the ending,
But I will know,
When I get there,
That I tried -
And for the first time,
In a long time,
I didn't give up.

I want to wrap myself in this blanket,
The Fall breeze, good music,
And mellow atmosphere.
I want to drink tonight with a little bit or rain,
A sprinkle of stars, chilly wind,
And a piece of moon shine,
The traffic lights reflected on wet concrete
Bleeding red, speeding yellow,
And fleeting greens,
Lingering on my windshield.
I am not asleep,
But I am not awake either,
I'm doomed to linger
And wander through this season.

I knew you wanted out
So I gave you the gun
And told you to shoot.

Your hand was shaking
So I held it and pressed it
Tightly against my chest.

Do it!

I closed my eyes
And so had you.
It was empty.

I build a road
And stacked up
Some stone.
The fireplace
Is ready for the
Both us, won't
You join me?
I have the softest
Of covers, and
The most comfortable
Pillows, love.

Baby, it's cold outside,
Won't you keep me warm?
I have been waiting too long.

As scared as I was,
I remember climbing my first mountain.
Then there was a second
That wasn't as demanding.
The third one was a task
Because it was much too rocky to be easy,
And the fourth one was intimidating
As much as it was frightening.
The fifth one was intriguing
And the six was the most humbling
Experience up until then.
The seventh, I thought, would be my last one
But alas,
I'm climbing an eighth mountain.

I fell in love
Climbing up the first one,
I took a chance
Climbing up the second.
I knew it wouldn't be easy
But I took a chance with the third,
And I wanted to go higher
And higher after the fourth.
I wanted something different
From the fifth,
And I very much enjoyed
The smooth scaling of the sixth.
I was too careless
Thinking I had enough experience for the seventh,
But I learned my lesson,
And not taking it easy on this next trip

You are the person
That makes me want to be stronger.
I know you see me
As your little brother,
And trust me
I will cherish these moments,
But one day I will get older.
I hope you're still around
So I can carry you
On my shoulders like your boyfriend.
I know you're not
As crazy as I am,
But maybe, just maybe,
God will let it go my way.

It was us two
With arguments
That weren't new.
It was us two
Minus my ego,
Just yours.
Was I right,
Or was I wrong?
My chest caved in,
I can't breathe
Out of my lungs.
You left me,
And I missed you;
I needed you,
Not just a picture
From my cellphone -
All I had
Were some tissues
To cry into.
I was lost
And you forgot me,
I called out to you
In the darkness and
Now that my eyes
Have adjusted
You want to call me.

I'm good here,
Thank you for asking.

What could've been
I have not forgotten.
The road I could've taken
Is there somewhere behind me.
I wonder which road
Is the one I'll regret
The day after tomorrow -

A day like this one
That is never ending.

i dont smoke
nor do i support it
but when i do it
i happen to watch it
escaping
because i know
in that moment
that my breath
is working just perfect.

he had the his thumb on a string,
his words chased after the sunset;

the wind carried his melody -
and had this desire,
to dance,
but i couldn't.

fall was all around him and i,
and my dreams, atop a mountain.

Why do you feel so far away?

I wish that you would save me.
I cry out by day, but you don't answer,
I cry out by night and you're not there.

There's people looking down on me,
They make me feel like less of a man.

Do not be far from me
For trouble is near
And only you can help me.

I saw your neck line.

I felt a wind
Being blown to my chest,

We were in a crowd when
Suddenly,
We were the only ones there;

The earth stood still
and for a moment I thought
I could hear my own breath.

inspire me to write
inspire me to dream
i want to feel
that feeling again,
when i hold you
when i kiss you,
on the lips again.
dont turn your back,
dont turn against me,
i want to know that you're there
when im going down under.
i miss you
and you miss me
i know because i know you
just as much as you know me
so dont turn your back,
dont turn against me
i want to see you tonight
and make you whisper my name
when i get close to you
and put you against me.

problematic is the renewal of my soul,
systematic is my need to be evolved.
quite listless are the streaming roads
leading to the ends of this weary world.

now breeding are conjectures in my skull,
still breathing is my life - soothing cold,
with this possession in dispossession
tearing up my vile flesh and decrepit bones.

soon forgetting to be adorned
laughs will soon start to be heard,
once the fluent waters of the flood
swallow up the darkness it's become.

give me reason, i undergo deep sleep
live forever and give side to my good and dear

soul.

Forgive me,
My silence is all that I have.
If we were speaking of money
My silence would be the change
For every dollar I've spent.
Forgive me,
For not having enough to spend.

If I had the money,
And my money could speak,
It would speak of your eyes
And the glance I can't buy.
If I had the money,
It would speak of your lips,
And I would be rich.

Last night,
I couldn't fall asleep.
I tossed and turned,
Took off my shirt,
Took of my shorts,
And the socks off my feet.
But still,
I couldn't fall asleep.

I got up,
Not to read a book or watch tv,
But to grab a pen,
To grab a pencil,
And finally,
A piece of paper.
I drew,
Because I couldn''t fall asleep.

I stopped.
My eyes grew tired
And the night grew weary.
But I looked at her
She looked at me.
She wanted color,
She needed color,
Before I fell asleep.

I wondered,
Because I couldn't help to wonder,
If this was born out of me,
From my mind,
From within me,
And IT,
Only being a piece of paper
Was so beautiful to me,
How much more Love
Does my Creator
Have for me?

I looked into her eyes,
They were much like my own.
And her need
Was much like my own.
I wanted to keep drawing
But I thought that maybe,
Just maybe,
My drawing, too, needed sleep.

My, my, my* -
My body knows
That you are not here.
It's tired, it's restless -
It needs your *******
Pressed up against it;
Your thigh tucked in
Between both of mine.

I don't miss you -
I need you.
My body knows
And I have a fever.

Carrizo, lamina,
Cemento, y varilla.
Mi casa
Su casa
Sus casas.
Te busco
Te deseo
Y no te encuentro.
Fotos
Mapas
y Recuerdos
Es donde te tengo.
Escucha,
Habla y dime,
Como esta
Mi pueblo.
Villa de Etla,
Querida,
Adorada.

I must cry
Because
No one will do it for me.
Because when I shed these tears
I am reminded
Of how insignificant
The problem is -
I will cry
Because,
Even though the answer is simple,
I will not see it
Unless I see it with these blurry eyes.
Only then will I listen,
Only then will I open my heart
And say "that was the reason."
I must cry,
Because
No one must shed these tears
But me.

Inadequate.

The skinny jeans
I did not wear,
The only tshirt
I cared enough to have,
A fitted cap
That fit too tight -
I wanted to be someone
That you'd like.

Hopeless Romantic

I told my parents I'd be right back
But I drove off
For an hour and a half.
I took and chance
And went for the surprise.
There you were,
Coming out of class
With no make up on.

The Compact Disc

You shied away
And we're embarrassed
(I don't know why)
And all of the sudden
It started to rain.
You went into my car
And I gave you
A CD.

Regret

I asked you
If I could kiss you.
Was it a mistake?
I had been dying
For that moment
But when it finally came
There was no magic
And I was still scared.

My Return

How different
Would it have been
If I had held you in the rain,
Didn't ask
But helped myself
To a kiss you didn't expect,
Share the moment
We were supposed to have.

Swear I was born
Right in the Doorway.

that glare, i cannot forget,
it latched on to my memory.
the sway in your walk
had my stride in lock
(and my mind in awe)
the first time we met.
i keep playing this record
of a distant spring dream
to which you were the star
in my movie screen.
i see the moon
and try to hold on to a time
for it is now a small wrinkle
under both of our eyes.

i want to talk
about
the last kiss that you gave me.
i didn´t know
at the time
that it was a kiss of betrayal,
but it wasn´t
just a kiss -
you uttered
those three horrible words
that i had been dying to hear
from you,
but only, if only,
if only i knew
that you had utterned the same words
to somebody new.

its been a couple of days.
i have been sitting here
but haven't been all there.
i am not here
as you are not either
i am not here
as you haven't either.

i won't wait
i will not be there
i will be somewhere
where I've never been
i will be with her,
the one's that's been waiting
for me not to be here either.

imagine life without the sky
imagine life without the stars

would it be the same for you and i?

if the sun didn't give off it's heat
it the moon didn't light up our nights

would we be here alone you and i?

when the sea no longer gave us wind
when the earth didn't tremble at our feet

would we be together you and i?

impossible feats are things like these
unreasonable thoughts that run with ease

never mind the selfish thought of you and i...

You hide it well
In the lining of your hair:
All the troubles
Built up in there.
With *******
You run them off
But I don't see you
Letting go.

I remember you
Only six years old
With a bow
And black leather shoes;
A little dress
Down to your knees
Is how I remember you
But when your eyes
Finally met with mine
You were full of energy
And it was beautiful.

Time was never kind enough
To let me keep you in my arms.

It's raining out today.
It's a hot cocoa-
Wrapped in a blanket-
Wearing white socks-
Kind of day.

Yeah, it's that kind of day.

It's raining out today.
It's a warmth on my palm-
Warmth to my chest-
Warmth to my toes-
Kind of day.

(There's a tap near my window,
There's a roar out my door,
There's a light in the sky, and yet,
I feel alone.)

And yeah it's that kind of day.

I  take a step out the door
I sit out in the cold
I take a breath of fresh air
With socks gone all went
I look up at the dark ---
    And I wait.

Yeah, it's that kind of day.

I'm on my way
To the promised land,
The streets
I saw myself walking on.
Fall leaves clipping
On the sole of my shoes,
Fall leaves jumping
From my BMW's windshield.
I can taste the rain
That is now on the floor
From the night before
And I am daydreaming,
In that same street,
Breathing the crystals
In the air,
So soothing and sharp
At the same time.
I am leaving the house
I promised I would have,
I am going to enjoy
The rest of the day
Because God gave me
The weekend
To give him thanks
And rejoice
In all the glory
That he has made.
It's so beautiful,
I cannot wait.
I started walking,
I am on my way.

oh little boy get up from the ground
pick yourself up and dust yourself off

don't you worry about a thing
in this mess of a world
just get up and dance a little
its not that cold, after all

Help me breath again
And make my heart swing.

I want you to be
The one to shuffle with me,
Be the rock I lean on,

And let your shoulders meet mine.
I'll eventually snap into pieces
When I'm no longer holding back -
I need you to come back to me.

I held you in my arms when you left me,
And heard utter an "I love you,"
Before you closed your eyes.

It's been a while since I left
And you made your own life,
But it wasn't until today
That I got rid of the bitter after taste
Of what was once our love life.

You and I were the best of friends
And you told me all the things
You needed to get off your chest.
I was your pillow, I was your diary,
And for a long time I kept my silence.

But unlike a pillow or a diary
You knew the feelings I kept inside
And though you harbored them too
You could never be anything to me
As we were, as you said, "platonic."

When your world came crashing down
And your bed was no longer a comfort
For all of your tears, I came running to you,
As fast I possibly could to try and put together
The little pieces that were left of you.

I remember the first time we held hands
And everyone around us gasped and stared
Because what you and I, mostly I, had dared
To do was already a mistake, waiting to explode
A few day after, two weeks ahead.

For a long time I cursed every time
I said your name, every time I saw you there
With a smirk in your face, as if you were amused
By the pain and agony, the suffering
That was clouding my judgment in those days.

I had lost everything, traded it all for a love
That was never mine to begin with.
I gave up on some fiends, and I had made enemies
That threatened my very existence
All for a few days of dying out laughter and kisses.

What I didn't realize at the time,
Things I figured out after a few other
Failed relationships, is that I came on too strong.
I can't believe I had held on so tight
I had made me into something dark.

Everything you had known about me
Had turned black, and I didn't know
How to trust you behind my back.
I had lost my best friend, you had lost
Your diary and no longer had a pen.

I was too eager for you to be
The perfect girlfriend for me
When my heart had gone bitter
From the lack of attention
I thought I deserved for me.

It wasn't the first time,
And it wasn't the last,
But it did leave an impression
That I will never forget
And will always live in my past.

It helped shape my future
And get to know who I really was.
I hope that I was more than enough
Of a good friend for you to remember me
After you're married and give birth to another little one.

I guess I was just trying to catch up
And reminisce on the adventures
That we had as a teen aged boy and girl,
Wanting to be comforted
By each other's unconditional love.

I watched your symmetry
Lose itself in my fluidity
As if I had been dreaming
Driving, cruising, speeding
With this song on repeat and
The beat would not let me be
Myself whilst sleeping.
I sing it again
Because I still miss it,
Closing my eyes
And sinking,
Listening.

How do I say
What can't be said
Or feel
What can't be felt?
To which you say:
"Well, how DO you feel?"

I don't know that this is real.
The fact that I have, or had,
All I could have wanted,
and yet,
I feel
Like I had nothing.

Nothing ever happened,
I never had anybody.
I asked nobody to lunch,
And gave my heart
To nobody.
Yeah that sounds about right-
No one or no body.

I had no one at my apartment,
Under the sheets
Was not a body,
Not a soul,
Not a woman,
Not nobody
Shared a pillow and a blanket.

So...
"How do I feel?"
I ask my self
And everybody,
Because if nothing happened,
With any body,
It only means that in this story
I was nobody.

Brick, metal or stone,
A corbeled brick crown
Acts as a drip to create
Ambiance for heating a room -
Ancient fire pits
Vent smoke through open holes.

The best way to gauge
Is not, and never was,
Intended to heat the air.
One of two horizontal metal bars
opening in a hearth to sweep the ash.
Warmth on cold days and nights,
One of many flaws that I have found.

The inside is a metal piece
Reflecting heat into the room
With metal arms mounted on it,
Which swing and hold words above.

The sides of a heart
Has its opening near the throat.

I've been wanting to cry,

Not for any one particular reason,
I don't really know if it's because I'm happy
Or sad.
My life is great,
My family and friends are beautiful people,
But I feel out of place.

I'm here,
But I'd rather be elsewhere,
I am satisfied
But I'd rather be overflowing with joy.
Everything I eat
Had never tasted so bane,
Every color had never been color-less.
I'm am grateful
For what I have,
But there is something else
I haven't felt,
Not in a while.

I think it's Love.

Love that's not earned,
Love that isn't a word,
Love that doesn't want more,
Love that is grateful,
Love that is genuine,
The kind of Love
That hugs you so tight
You cry because you are reminded

That you are not alone.

You are off limits
No need for reminders,
But it doesn't matter
Because you were once with me.

I don't get angry
I don't get jealous
It doesn't bother me
It doesn't harm me any -
I am not stressed

I had you all to myself,
Many nights you slept with me.
I kissed your body,
Your face, your lips,
I kissed your soul,
And from head to toe
You were for me.

I made love to you
Before he did,
Before him,
I made you go crazy,
Before him
You trembled in fear,
And that first time
I was your teacher -
I helped you to feel,
That is why now
You can go on
Show off a little
Of what you learned
From being with me.

I love poetry.
I can read it as a whisper
I can shout it when the wind blows
And I can shelter myself
From the opinion of other people;
I love poetry.

I can talk about the whispers
That I would bring to some delicate ears
Or shout to my own people
Who'd rather just talk it through.

I love poetry,
I can write a song
I can sing a song
And I can free my spirit
From the needs of other people and my own;
I love poetry.

I've been in love
Ever since I was fifteen,
Ever since I wrote her name,
Ever since I grabbed a pen,
A piece of paper,
And said what I needed to say in poetry.
I've been in love
Ever since I was 18
Ever since I wrote a song,
Ever since I picked up the guitar,
And told her
Exactly what I wanted to say in poetry.

I've been in love with poetry
For so long,
Because regardless of the break ups
Or the false hopes of other loves,
Poetry is always there,
Waiting for you to pick the pen up.

You were there at the beginning,
You were THE beginning.
I didn’t know much of anything:
What to say, or how to say it.
I never held your hand because
    I was always too nervous,
Too nervous to even talk to you.

How pathetic.

You were my beginning, and you were my end.
I wonder what you’d think of me now.

I wonder,
Just like always,
If you remember the hotel pool side,
The dark night
In which you invited me out there,
For us to talk.

I wonder,
If I said too much,
I think that I must have
Because I was tense and nervous inside,
I said it frantically
Because I wanted
To remember that I night.

I did too much
To try and be romantic,
Because I thought that you were that type,
That you would like for me to hold you in my arms,
Look into your eyes,
And say I love you
Under a fool's moon that night.

i understand
that the pain
that comes
from a heartbreak
can be devasta-
ting
like the sting
of a wasp
at every little vain.
it is poison to the soul
and your heart
is pounding strong
trying to fight
the devil's work.
in your head
in your thoughts
you try to analyze
what went wrong:
was it you?
was it her?
is there anyone to blame
or was it just God
and one of his jokes?
i don't mean to say
that we are entertainment
for the Lord,
i'm just thinking
how i'll see it
when im old
and think of how foolish
it was to think
that the older i got
the easier it would be.

what is love?

I don't sleep well enough sometimes.

I think about all of the things that I'm doing wrong in my life.
And how there aren't many rights.
I'm not a leader, I'm not a follower. I have no influence, no one has influence
on me.
And I think,
how could I make things better? But I can't.

Because it's like quicksand. The more you desperately seek an escape,
the faster you sink in. And I just sit here

Waiting until I can no longer breath.