When we first met I never have I thought of you throwing you life out of the line
Until we became friends, never in my thoughts have I thought you'd do such thing to yourself

Those time spend together full of smiles and laughs
I realized that, it was all nothing but a mask for you to hid

How did you do that, pretending to be fine when you knew everything was nothing but sadness
Why didn't you tell me when you were drowning on your own thoughts everyday
Why didn't I noticed everything happening to you when you were alive

I ask myself the same question everyday
When I walk, before I sleep, most especially when I looked in the mirror
As I ask myself, blaming myself for not being there when you were hurting

I am your friend- I was your friend

Oh how I wish for you to see the sun rise once again
But there's nothing I can do, I am no god, I can never bring you back to life
I'm just a friend who never saw the scars on your soul

I regreted believing you when you said "Some dust got my eyes" one Tuesday night when you cried on the corner

I was a fool believing you when you said " I'm just feeling cold" wearing a thick sweater one summer morning

I was blind believing you were truly happy when your smile never reached your eyes when we laughed our jokes out

I thought I knew "too much" of you, but in reality I was oblivious of the "true" you, of the "whole" you. How stupid of me, right?

You're like a universe: so silent, so beautiful, yet still unknown to most, until your last breath.

A-N-X-I-E-T-Y, that's how you spell your name
When we meet you sweet talk me to your game
Anywhere I go, you go, when I run, you chase
Never letting me sleep in a peaceful place
As you held my body to the ground
And with your silent whispers I am bound;

A-N-X-I-E-T-Y, is how you spell your name
And all you can do is to mislead and tame
Me to listen and follow your whispering commands

Never letting me climb the ladder to my dreams
As you constantly cloud my head with your internal screams
Reminding me how worthless and incompetent
"myself" to the "world" I live in
Then never letting me move forward to where I wanted to be.

In a far distance land, away from humans
There you can see a great forest of beauty
A dense forest with moist green moss
And mighty trees stand proud in its green leaves
Under the warm breeze of the summer season;

If you go deeper unto the green land,
Beyond the tall trees and silence of the forest
You'll see a wondrous place a city can never offer
Because you'll see what nature's true beauty is;
There you can see diversity in animals and plants;

Somewhere into the forest, a creature can be seen
They are free to roam around in their own habitat
And as nighttime comes, they retreat to their homes
Into their own dens for shelter, protection and comfort
As they sleep and wait for the sun rises in the morning;

I honestly say they are truly a majestic creatures
Called Grizzly Bear also know as Brown Bear
They are species of mammals with interesting behavior
For they hunt and mate in the warm breeze
And hibernate in the cold winter season;

Grizzly Bear also have unique characteristics:
Because of the white tips found in their furs
Especially in the shoulders and back part,
It creates an illusion of being grizzled;
Hence the name Grizzly bear was given;

Grizzly Bears are omnivores, a plant and meat eater;
They are large, they are hunters, they can fish salmon;
They enjoy eating berries and nuts in the forest;
They are brown and huggable creatures
But don't dare hug them;

A Grizzly Mother Bears are great parents too
Like any devoted mothers, they teaches their young;
Mothers taught cubs to dig and hunt with their claws
Also how to stand up tall in their two legs!
Like how a adult Grizzly Bear living in the forest should be.

Long time ago,
     I'm a nobody

But manage to
     become somebody

Because you let out
     the best of me.

To change this problematic world
Sacrifices must be paid
Not by corruption, bloodshed and conflict
But giving up personal selfish desires
And let us join together as one
To build a better nation to call our home

You can never run or hide from your greed
Twisted by your tainted hands of sins
For you are not afraid to rise your sword aimlessly

And mercy never crossed your pitiful mind
As you drown the innocent with their own anguish and blood

You have become someone your hateful soul molded
As you rise from the ashes of your once beautiful life
And destroyed the peace of the world

You have caused sufferings amongst the humankind
The world of people you once loved

Living like a demon
So much darkness
And so much numbness

You have lead your own blood lust world

He
  said
      I was
         beautiful

But
  he
      didn't
           mean it.

You're like a cactus, whom needs no attention

You have created your own world ****** of thorns

And protected yourself with those sharp words;

You can survive even in times of drought and loneliness

Still, be able to bloom a flower out of your own creation

Yet I can never be with you without hurting myself

I can only appreciate your beauty afar

Though it may be hopeless, its not up to you

As a promise, I give to you my words

"I will always be there for you"

Though being with you only bring pain and sufferings

Please hear my plea and let me be with you

Let me be part of your narrative

And I promise to walk with you in the mist of danger

Together we will escape from the hell you've created.

It has been a long time since I know you

Years after years of friendship

Still everyday is a new discovery

- It was comforting


And it has been my familiarity to see your face

Like of those of your gentle smile

That have become my everyday view

From morning to the end of every day's session

- It was comforting


But nonetheless, I never knew I was slowly falling for it

Even in your mere presence

In your mere peaceful silence

- It was comforting


Reminiscing to those mementos

Of those times I spend with you

Keeps the butterflies in me out of control

- It was comforting

But I know it won't be for always.

I can feel in my soul tonight's cold again
In this household he builded
When he's the only one in control

My mind is going crazy
My pride, my dignity, gone missing
To the oblivion of his heartless body

I can't breath, I can't move,
I'm held frozen in his emotional prison
and physical trauma

I'm addicted to the feeling of freedom
I've created in my mind;
Wanting for more when he chained me
In his lustful embrace
Bruising my soul in every touch he made

I remember the rhythm of his breathing,
With the smell of drunken breath;
He whispered in my ears;
Closing my eyes;
Pulling my hair;
He said, "Oh darling, be a good marionette
to your husband"

I can't breath
I wanted to scream
I can't move I wanted to run
All I can hear is my heart racing;
I'm held frozen in his emotional prison
and physical trauma

Then he walked out of that door,
The door to my only freedom from his abuse,
But I don't have the key to set me free;

I couldn't deny I prayed in the dark
Facing to the Heaven
To set me free from the strings;

As if he is a Puppeteer
and I'm his little Marionette;
In a pull of the string,
I'll be the good doll ready for his command

I can't breath, I can't move,
I'm held frozen in his emotional prison
and physical trauma.

I think
I've found love from an unlikely source
I've found it from something simple

I've found it from a simple laughter
I've found it from a simple brush of our arms
I've found it from a simple good morning
I've found it from a simple curve of his lips

I think
I've found love from an unlikely source
I've found it from the way he acts

I've found it from the way he looks my eyes
I've found it from the way he hold my hands
I've found it from the way he walks slowly to match my pace
I've found it from the way he talks to me

I think
I've found love from an unlikely source
I've found it from how great of a person he is

I've found it from how he can remember the things I've said before
I've found it from how he can be strong in times of pain
I've found it from how confident he can be
I've found it from how caring and loving person he is

As cliche as it may sound  
I think I've found love from an unlikely source
I've found it in his flaws and
He's a great person, he doesn't know it yet.

We are expressionist in our own actions and in our own words
You can speak, act and feel all those joy and misery you have
for there are a thousand ways to express one's self
sometimes we can't find the right words to convey our feelings
Don't be sad if you can't write your emotions in rhymes, a true poet is beyond that
You can be free in your own feelings, then
If you can't write it, why not dance it with the rhythm of your music
If you can't dance it, why not paint it with every stroke of your brush
If you can paint it, why not sing it with every syllable your tongue twisted
If you can't sing it, why not cry it with every tear your heart bleed
If you can't cry it, why not hug someone with all your might
and be with that person until you feel better
Everyone deserves to be free, to be happy and to be sad
And it up to you to be that expressionist of your own emotions

Do you still remember our starry nights?
And those ancient and beautiful sites?
Or our unforgettable little fights?
Cause those moments delights me,

Yet those moments will remain a memory
Kept and treasured somewhere in history
Cause what happened can never be undone
Fate, which can never be outrun

Losing you in my arms, I felt torn
Without you, the colors I see mourn
I wish this ungrateful fate faded
And our fate will remain in red.

Put on the filter to make myself better.

Rain frozen in time
Is a nature's beauty
A phenomenon
Called freezing rain
It glazes the lonely road
Decorated the dead trees
And sparkles in the slightest light
Equivalently
Its beauty is a mask
Masking the hazard it hids
Freezing anything in its path
Even birds can't escape its wrath
Through the slightest touch
Leads you to a graceful death

I wish I'm just dreaming
Seeing you with her
Filled of smiles and colors
I can't bear it to see no more

I wish I were her
In your arms, smiling
In your eyes, shinning
In your lips, melting

What ever I do
Not even a shooting star
Can change you and me;

It's hard to lie, but I'll try
To endure this silent pain

Because neither you know
Will you ever love me?

Will you ever look at me
The way you look at her?

"The truth will never change"

I love you so I'm letting you go
It's painful but that's all I can do

Because I'm a friend you know
I've become a beautiful mess, I'll never show
I'll make this bittersweet love unknown

Its hard but I'll send you rainbow
And warmth through the snow

"Till the end I'll be a friend to you."

Closing my eyes, flashback starts to play;
Memories of strangers meeting
Each other the first time in the new beginning
As first impressions occupied their minds
But neither do they know what the future holds

For after sometime of getting to know each other

New friendships formed;
New possibilities to venture;
New memories to treasure;

A lot of things had help thrive there friendship stronger

There might be times of misunderstanding and arguments
Which drew a thin line of hate towards each other
Nonetheless at the end of the day, the bond is once again mend
It's a cycle, an inevitable cycle of hate and friendship

Still, along with time and through this old friendship
My love flourishes in the bottom of my heart
Never realizing it to happen- to myself
Even my mind can never comprehend
Of all this maturing feelings I now possess

Yet, I know very well he doesn't feel the same
He will always considered me nothing more than a friend
Until I learn to forget this feelings and move forward
For now, being by his side, that would be enough.

At one time, I was alone on a cliff
Dangering my own lonely life;

Then in a swift moment in time
As if I felt the summer's touch
I turned around and saw you;

There you stood, filled with hurt
And a glint of indescribable smile

In such hurry, warm tears fell down

"I thought no one acknowledges me"

Thus, thank you for the handkerchief.

I thought I've move on

But when you smile again

All those feelings, flows back

Hearing the tone of your laugh

Feeling the gentle of your touch

Like in the past my heart beats fast

Faster than the raging horses on a race

And suddenly I'm back to the day

When I first knew what love was

The first love you gave to me

A love never reached you

Until the end this love

Will always remain

Hidden away

From you.

My
    home
       is a
          paradise

Where I
    get the
         power
            to rise!

Because,
       if
ever you
     know

We'll
      never be
friends like
      before.

I prayed and hope for it
I have sacrificed my time for it
But when I got it, I felt nothing

I heard "congratulations"
Such words felt nothing
Just sounds the tongue twisted

They don't know me, maybe that's why
I felt no genuine happiness
Rather I felt deep guilt.