T'was the night before Christmas
The kids were in bed
Dreaming of Santa
All dressed up in red

The wife was upstairs
Wrapping gifts in our room
I was watching old Scrooge
In old London gloom

when out of the blue
there was a knock at the door
I leapt from the couch
and i slipped on the floor

i answered the knock
i still got there quick
and to my surprise
there stood St. Nick

"Please, sir I pray"
"may I enter through here"
"My stomach is churning"
"an explosion is near"

I pointed the way
first door on the right
Santa went off
To relieve himself right

My wife came downstairs
She asked 'bout the knock
I said go upstairs
She'd think my tale was a crock

The bathroom door opened
Santa came out
Then he told me the tale
Of what this all was about

"All of these houses"
"with warm milk and cookies"
"get my gut growling"
"like a room full of wookies"

"Soy, two percent"
"almond and skim"
"all mixed together"
"the result is quite grim"

"It started to churn"
"and I was getting quite frantic"
"I was just coming in"
"from above the Atlantic"

"Most years it's fine"
"But, this soy...never try it"
"it should really be banned"
"not put in one's diet"

"Do you mind if I sit"
"for a while just in case"
"I've got more houses to hit"
"And it will be a race"

My wife stood quite still
In fact she'd not said a word
Imagine your toliet downstairs
Home to dear Santa's ****

I offered a drink
Something to settle him down
He said thanks, but begged off
And he gave a slight frown

"I've got to get going"
"Time stops just so long"
"Thanks for your help"
"It could have all gone so wrong"

He filled up our stockings
He called his reindeer by name
"I'll bypass the chimney
and I'll leave as I came"

I looked at my wife
We both said "oh well"
I mean when you take it all in
Just who could we tell?

So, in future please listen
take a second and think
It could end up quite bad
don't leave him soy milk to drink

There once was a man from Green Bay
Who made it a habit each day
     To ****** an udder
     While churning his butter,
Then go for a nap in the hay.

दिलों में बस जाए तो मोहब्बत है वो,
कभी पत्नी-धर्म तो कभी बहू का कर्तव्य निभाती है वो,
कभी बहिन तो कभी ममता की मूरत है वो,
उनके आँचल में हैं से चाँद सितारे,
कभी सहेली बन कर हर दर्द -ग़म को छुपा लेते सीने में,
सब्र की मिसाल, हर रिश्ते की ताकत है वो,
कौन कहता है कि वो कमज़ोर है।

आज भी उनके हाथ में अपने घर को चलाने की डोर होती है।
वो तो दफ्तर भी जाते हैं, और अपने घर परिवार को भी संभालते हैं।
हौंसले और हिम्मत की पहचान है वो,
अपने हौसले से तक़दीर को बदलने की ताकत रखती है वो,
वो और कोई नहीं मेरी प्यारी Neha Mam है वो

मेरी नन्ही सी गुड़िया,  मेरी जान, मेरी बच्ची,
मुझे अच्छा नहीं लगता तुम्हें यूँ ही छोड़ कर ऑफिस आना,
मेरी इच्छा है कि हर पल तेरे पास और तुम्हें गोद में लिए रहूँ।
तेरी तोतली-2 बातें सुनू, तेरी छोटी -2 शरारते देखु  और जो मुझे खुश रखने में तेरी छोटी -2 शरारते बहुत काम आती है।
मेरी नन्ही सी गुड़िया,  मेरी जान, मेरी बच्ची,
तेरी मोहब्बत के साथ-2,
तेरे गुस्से मे भी मेरी अलग सी ख़ुशी छिपी हुई है।
जब मैं जान-बूझ कर तुम पर गुस्सा करु या
फिर रोने का नाटक करु,
मेरी बच्ची तुम मुझे देख कर भी रोना शुरू कर देती हो, तुम्हारी आँखों का नीर ऐसे बहता है
मानो गंगा और जमुना में बाढ़ आ गई हो।
वो पल भी उतना ही प्यारा है, तुम  तब तक रोते-रोते मम्मा- मम्मा मम्मा बोलते रहना जब तक तुम्हें मैं अपने सीने से नहीं लगा दूं।
मेरी नन्ही सी गुड़िया,  मेरी जान, मेरी बच्ची,
मैं तुम्हारी  छोटी-छोटी चीजों को बहुत संभाल कर रखती हूँ।  तुम्हारी वो हर निशानी,
तुम्हारे वो हर पल जिस में तुम्हारा बढ़ता हुआ बचपन को अपने फोन के कैमरे में कैद कर लेती हूँ।
ये सोच कर जब तुम बड़ी होगी तो तुम्हे बताओगी मेरी बच्ची, मेरी नन्ही सी गुड़िया,
जितना तुम मेरे लिए प्यारी हो उतनी ही तुम्हारी शरारती बहुत प्यारी है।
मुझे तुम और तुम्हारा साथ बहुत अच्छा लगता था
बस वो पल जिसमे तुम्हे छोड़ कर ऑफिस आना और पूरे दिन का तुम्हारा दरवाजे पे इंतज़ार करना,
तेरी मम्मा को अच्छा नहीं लगता था…..
मेरी नन्ही सी गुड़िया,  मेरी जान, मेरी बच्ची, मुझे अच्छा नहीं लगता तुम्हें यूँ ही छोड़ कर ऑफिस आना…I love You my Doll My lifeline

I think
I've found love from an unlikely source
I've found it from something simple

I've found it from a simple laughter
I've found it from a simple brush of our arms
I've found it from a simple good morning
I've found it from a simple curve of his lips

I think
I've found love from an unlikely source
I've found it from the way he acts

I've found it from the way he looks my eyes
I've found it from the way he hold my hands
I've found it from the way he walks slowly to match my pace
I've found it from the way he talks to me

I think
I've found love from an unlikely source
I've found it from how great of a person he is

I've found it from how he can remember the things I've said before
I've found it from how he can be strong in times of pain
I've found it from how confident he can be
I've found it from how caring and loving person he is

As cliche as it may sound  
I think I've found love from an unlikely source
I've found it in his flaws and
He's a great person, he doesn't know it yet.

When I was growing up in Wisconsin, dairy farms were everywhere.  It was always fun visiting my aunt and uncle's dairy farm, even though they put me to work.  For many years the only bathroom they had was away from the house!  I read an article today about people complaining about smells coming from dairy farms and pig farms.  It reminded me when our family would drive the 3 1/2 hours to visit Grandma and Grandpa.  Some farms hardly had any bad odor, but others reeked!  This was especially horrible to us city kids.  "Mom, what's that smell?" my sisters and I would ask every time.  We asked Mom because she'd answer us.  Dad would only laugh.  Good times!  

Midwest dairy farms
intermittent putrid stench-
fun childhood road trips

Sometimes you can erase your life
Easy as tearing up old pages from a diary.

At first it might resist, but it eventually tears
Suddenly you’re free.
Hidden from yourself, once again

Easy as that and thrown away
Discarded into the bin.

You didn’t want anyone to see it.
To see you.

And now they won’t.

Later, you may think about those pages
Scenes from your life now lost
Thrown into the ******* trash
Like they didn’t matter.

You wonder what was on them
Were they really that bad?
Did you need to throw yourself away?
But you’re gone now, only vaguely remembered years past.

Why did you do that?
Why were you so afraid,
Why did you hate you so much
Why were those thick bundles of desperately blacked-out words
So wrong and so easy to throw out?
Taken out on trash day
Never to be seen again.

Maybe it was easy to throw away
But never easy to remember
Or forget.

Maybe it was hard to rip up
To tear your memories from your head
Took all your strength, your force, your everything.
But was it?

Shouldn’t it be harder to throw yourself away?