It's hard to disconnect oneself
from the attachment of familiarity
one has build through the years.
Everything in college is overwhelmingly new. I found it difficult to adjust to another environment. New people. New place
I miss my friends. The memories. The laughters... I miss their company...
If only I can always be with them
But this is life. Life must go on. We have our own paths. Dreams and goals in life.
You will never break me
I can do that by myself
I’ve seen in my life’s undertaking
There’s very chances at help
Every moment is waking
Even when eyes are closed
As I slumber, the ground is quaking
What I’ll wake to, I don’t know
There will always be this fear
Just in different increments
Anxiety dwelling near
And the things it presents
No pity is wanted
This is said for understanding
There caverns of my mind are haunted
By wound, by weight, by branding
Don’t even try to push me
I am falling just fine
I’m not expecting any cushioning
But there’s a slight hope I’ll fly
The wings have yet to sprout out
Whether they will or not, who knows
We all crash, of that there is no doubt
But from it, not all of us grow
I found a new house
It has wooden floors throughout.
Still it's too empty
may my smile
be forever loving
as I play in life
new roles and adjust
words as a tight dress
may wind clothe me
just that loving smile
let that one survive
this poem is part of the collection California Notebooks 01
There's a resounding calm over me.
The day was long.
You're not here.
But that's not to say you won't be again.
This hot toddy is perfection.
The only thing that could make it better is your company.
I miss you, but not painfully today.
Today I miss you comfortably;
In a way that says I'm adjusting to whatever this is.
Stare at a television for too long,
and you're sure to find it becomes a difficult task...
training your eyes to adjust to reality.
This crisp world morphs into a mirage,
seen through the revolver of a machine gun
infinitely strobing between what is and should.
Like a child trying to blink back tears that seem more like a tsunami.
The **** finally cracks.
Reminiscent of those summer days spent at the pool,
staring at the world through a rippling glass wall.
I've always been interested in new perspectives.
Can't help feeling insecure.
Nothing lasts for ever
Things move on
Just need to adjust
Fear is the worst part .
About accepting change.
We would rather avoid it
Instead of embracing it.
My least favorite feeling,
I now feel all the time;
it has me, nightly, kneeling,
God, I need a place that's mine.
Everywhere I go these days,
I feel out of place; I don't belong.
I've tried living multiple ways,
but everything feels so wrong.
I've tried on different hats,
tried being a different person,
but on all these different tracks,
this feeling only worsens.
No one I know puts me at ease;
no one out there understands;
no one out there disagrees
that I must make my own plans.
If I feel so **** out of place,
then it seems to me I must seek out
my own comfortable space
and find exactly what I'm about.
I keep hoping that I'll fit in,
but that's impossible for me;
I'm unique in my own skin
so a unique place, I'll need to be.
Copyright Sarah Gammon 2014
— The End —