I love my truthfulness,
None truer have I seen.

To myself, I am so true,
Never do I play with feelings.

I love my caramelized sweetness,
Like fortune cookies I've been.

To my people, I am so good,
Never they complain about my fillings.

Compelling truth of my life,
Very oftentimes, it is so lonely a scene.

The only time I remember lying,
It was that once in my childhood.

I was 3 years of age,
I peed in the balcony,
Daddy was upset with me,
He asked why I peed,
He was angrier when I replied,
Angry as it was the first time I lied.

Still he couldn't help but smile.

I said, "It wasn't me that peed,"
He retorted, "If not you then who?"
I played with that lie naughtily,
And I said, "A cow did!"
He was amazed at the innocent lie,
"And where from it climbed here?"
I prolonged the lie while I stood up in the first floor balcony
As I said pointing out towards the cattle yard with my tiny fingers,
"She came from there!"

Mummy came from behind him,
Embraced me in her arms,
Daddy was amazed at my wit,
He felt bittersweet inside of him,
And I too shall have such a sweet kid.

I am the soul that you have regained,
I am even the best crush you ever had.
I am the love story that will never end,
I am yours as if I have always been yours.
I am always ready to adjust and to bend,
I am ready just for you and only for you.
I am proud to stay happy with you only...

He was so happy when I was born,
Now I am so happy as he reaches 60,
But I am a bit sad too for he'll get old,
Wiser he gets as he is more ancient,
Wrinkles suit him much better now,
And his face is the cutest paradox,
His childhood is always apparent.

वे बहुत ख़ुश थे जब मैं पैदा हुआ था,
अब मैं बहुत ख़ुश हूँ जब वे हो रहे हैं 60 के,
परंतु वे वृद्ध होंगे तो थोड़ा उदास भी हूँ,
प्रौढ़ावस्था में वे अधिक चतुर हो रहे हैं,
झुर्रियाँ अब बहुत बेहतर लगती हैं,
और उनका चेहरा सबसे प्यारा विरोधाभास है,
उनका बचपन हमेशा प्रत्यक्ष होता है।

I don't want to get you,
For you're not an object.
But I wish to achieve you,
As a soul you're the richest.

Neither in the day, oh my killer,
Nor in the night am I pacified.
What madness is this age of rage,
That you have got tattooed some name,
The name is not mine either.

Rewarded my love greatly, oh my killer,
You greatly rewarded my love,
My lover you have stolen more than my heart.

All flowers of my love have wuthered,
Only this wind of thorns have come to my account,
I didn't like the sweet spring dreams,
For it ended up with the brazen summer.
My lover you have stolen more than my heart.
Rewarded my love greatly, oh my killer,
You greatly rewarded my love,
My lover you have stolen more than my heart.

Having put these beads of thorns 'round my neck,
You are happy making out with some new fish.
You betrayed my trust,
See you murdered my trust,
My lover you have stolen more than my heart,
You have greatly rewarded my trust.

I had bore with a smile all your tantrums,
I wear as pearls the tears in your memory.
Listen to my heart's agonising call,
Be heard oh heart's agonising call,
You have greatly rewarded my trust.

Rewarded my love greatly, oh my killer,
You greatly rewarded my love,
My lover you have stolen more than my heart.

Young heart mechanized to toil hard,
Dig deeper and deeper, and deeper,
Into the books her eyes are settled,
Climbs unto her brain what she reads,
Perhaps to her nerves is getting the creeper,
Her young fickle heart finds it harder,
Not concentrating on random distractions,
Yes she keeps herself on her studies,
And I trust she'll make board exams look easy,
Because her name is Life.

When I'm here without you baby.
When I'm afraid of us failing & falling.
When I'm thinking about our connected fates.

But someone rushes to rescue me from myself.
It's an Angel who helps me overcome.
I think it's you baby - my Angel.

My Progenitor along my Father,
She loves me as if She'll take care,
Of me and my needs today & forever.

My Mother is an inspiration for me,
She has tasted success after toiling for it,
Harder in nights than in days totally.

My studies were Her priority in my school days,
She is no different in these different college days,
Never does She let her mind divert Her gaze.

My language skills, I inherited from Herself,
She taught me Hindi, English & Kannada,
I learnt and honed the Sanskrit by myself.

My German & French are elementary, but,
She never discourages me or calls my efforts,
To learn them both, with passing time, rudimentary.

My health has been Her top priority,
She ignored Her own & there was a difficulty,
Her knees gave away and needed to be replaced.

My Father loves me too but my Mother is special,
She left Her beloved Karnataka to marry my father,
Now She looks after my Father as I am alright.

I am lucky, very lucky indeed, that I have them,
She is a living legend married to Another,
This poem is more about Her and a bit about my caring father too.

My Mother taught me how to speak,
How to speak and how to live, not just once,
But along my Father, she taught it all twice.

My Mother, along my Father, defines God,
Probably this is the case with everybody,
But few realise it when Death makes a ****.

I have seen her weeping for me when I was unwell,
Now it's my obligatory duty apart from a natural one,
Her I shall make proud along with my father, not just once but always.

I am not ashamed of my choice now,
As she is a mature woman this time,
Her gorgeous curves, and dimples,
It imparts greater strength to me,
Even more inviting is the navel,
So full of softness she seems,
And I get even more hard.

A Never-Ending Life,
With Its Never-Ceasing Woes,
Its Never-Breathing Worries,
And The Immortality Of Grief,
This Is What I'm Afraid Of,

The Nightmare I See With My Open Eyes.

First was a demo.
Second was a desire.
Third was a demon.
Fourth was a disappointment.
Fifth was a liar.
Sixth was someone who lost me.
Seventh was a charlatan.
Eighth was a Succubus.
But nineth is a different Angel,
My Angel.

Inside this loneliness of my life,
There is none but you my future wife,
When you are here then I can play the fife,
There is much fun as there's no strife,
Inside now your presence is rife.

Unaware of my destination,
I'm imagining my days away,
A man with a vivid imagination,
My thoughts often wander too far,
I drew a very detailed picture of hers,
Yes t'was in my mind and not real,
But I ain't a good painter at all,
So I painted her in my mind,
She's a dream-come-true.

He was born in 1924.
The month was November.
And the date was 20.

He passed away in 1991.
The month was September.
And the date was 25.

I couldn't consciously listen to him.
I missed out on a grandpa.
I could've learnt so much.

He also taught Sänskřŧäm.

More than any other food item,
Rajma chaawal can brighten my day up,
Bring back to my lips a lost smile,
Kidney beans is rajma and rice is the chaawal.

A different flavour tickles my taste buds,
Divine is this taste vegetarian,
Few are not so lucky to have tasted it ever,
It should be declared the national food of the kitchen north Indian.

Still learning to balance myself,
Struggling hard not to fall,
Still falling like an oversized kid,
Struggling on path unbeaten,
Still getting sprains and strains,
Struggling to keep my head.

Fell down yesterday morning much to my own dismay and I fell down on a hard surface, my ribs ache from the right side now.

Don’t be irritated like this, my queen,
My life will be threatened,
Oh, don’t be irritated like this...
My life will be threatened,
How would I then be treating this distance,
Oh, don’t be irritated like this, my queen...
If you would not be holding my hand,
Then this restless heart would not be treated,
Oh, don’t be irritated like this...
If these slivers had not been on your cheeks,
These blackish snakes had not slept among flowers,
This dark night caused by them would not hug the day,
Then this bud of love would not have blossomed,
Oh don’t be irritated like this...
Now smile and say that you’re not angry,
Come swing in my eyes & fit in my heart,
Come even closer and take your place on my eyelids,
We are one soul & two bodies, we are no different,
Oh, don’t be irritated like this, my queen,
My life will be threatened,
My life will be threatened,
If I had no cover, how could I come close,

Is anyone else here,
Facing this problem
That every new poem
Becomes invisible for others?

Got its colouration from the sins;
The sins I do and the atrocities you do;
Mysteriously upon me - just me...

My red heart scarring CRIMSON still;
There's no torch shining to search for you;
I now drop you as you've stopped struggling;
In the dark night I find myself laughing.....

I went away after I'd finished my job-task;
There's no heart beating for you any more;
You called this upon thyself & now sleep...

There's no gun issuer alive now anywhere;
I'm not a mad guy so I don't live a nomad's life;
You did succeed in rending my sinner's life;
Into a meaningless transporter's life.....

Do you know what was my reply when the class teacher told me that my attendance was lower than the minimum requisite & I won't be allowed to sit in the exams???

I replied that it's not an issue, my genes make me very sturdy and I could write the exams standing!

The gusts of wind rustle through his dark hair as he rides his broomstick
In the search of the golden snitch – In the search of the ferrety golden snitch.
And in his mind whizzes past an image – at lightning speed, very swiftly,
As his expert eyes go after the small shiny metallic ball.

The Nimbus 2000 he once owned has now been replaced with another
In the attempt to make him quicker – In the attempt to make him quicker.
His eyes look like his mother Lily’s – His father James was a Seeker,
This is an analogy of a natural case of heredity in Harry.

The old broomstick Nimbus 2000 he owned was broken into pieces
In his third year at the school of magic – In his third year at Hogwarts.
Dementors attacked him – in the Quidditch pitch during a match,
And he fell several feet below from air before Dumbledore saved him.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
I find your cheeks so smooth.

Love undying has found you,
Of all the beauty in the world,
Victorious I am over your love,
Escape the blues I do with you.

Your voice is also the smoothest,
Oh – you sing hymns of Křšņä,
Under wicked sky, me you pacify.

Most precious gift is your smoothness,
I shall definitely relish your beauty,
Tasked with your happiness,
Ah, I shall love to know your knitty-gritty,
Loving me will be your goodness,
I am here forever to stay.

I've had my breakfast,
Still I'm so much hungry,
Only 'cause of her, I guess!

I've not talked to her,
She's the only hunger I've,
Both in my days & my nights.

I've liked her flavour,
Flavoured it is like olives,
Her voice is my final dessert.

A beautiful saga of love and longing,
Turns now towards its completion,
Ultimately turning into achievement,
Love gets stronger like black coffee.

A melodious voice says my name,
Not fearing the society or religion,
Demanding only love from me.

Jelling deliciously is this pudding,
Excellent is this sweet romance,
Neither shameful nor shameless,
Indians from two different religions,
Few attempt what we plan for us,
Alive for each other and our families.

Living for the good of all life on Earth,
I love her and she loves me back,
Veil of her face is an elegant blue,
Elegant are her eyes from the slit,
Deriving pleasure from my imagination.

How we must get together,
A married couple is by hard work,
People do get old and die together,
People otherwise die in loneliness,
I am so blessed in this togetherness,
Love me you do in an untouched way,
Yet I feel you by my side in my life.

Evening the odds through honesty,
Victory is definite for both of us,
Even for peace, it will be a union,
Reason will only be love, our love.

Actually, I think that we shall do it,
Fatwas will never work against us,
Threats will be there but relax,
Except the Maulvi, none will bother,
Rest of them, our love will smother.

Truthfulness in your kind young face,
Heavenly is the sight to behold,
Earnestly we must get married,
Irate letters we shall then face,
Rising higher in the heavenly eyes.

Marriage is not just a wonderful word,
Also it is a beautiful permanent bond,
Rings in our fingers will mean more,
Rings and a Mangalsootra as well,
In our dreamland, we are together,
Atypical life we shall celebrate,
Gleefully we shall see our babies,
Eternal gifts by this love story of ours.

From you starts my day,
In you I see my day end.

From you starts my heart beating,
In you it stays alive after my death.

From you starts my true love,
In you it will stay immortalized.

My lover you are,
Youthful you are,
Sweetest you are,
Now who knows,
Which angel you are!

My lover you are & always will be,
Youthful you are & always will be,
The sugar in my cup of life you are!

"Q: What do you want to be written on your tombstone?
A: 'Here was cremated Atul Kaushal, a free spirit', because I want to break free from the circle of life & death and live with my love in that place beyond space & time far from rebirth cycle."

I
-I am-
I am like
-I am amazed-
I can't believe it
-I told my Soul Love-
Yeah she's my Sole Love
-That I'd enter her fortress deep-
And I told her that I'll soon one day
-My tongue must be black from underside-
Because she told me that any such war in India
-Was illegal till a later age as the books of law said-
But now it'd be legal at an age which she reaches soon
-The eager period of eagerness has begun and is teasing-
And I wait for breaching the fortress when we meet
-I'll hope she has performed great in her exams-
Care will be well taken by me that our first
-Experience with each other as we meet-
Would be great meeting the first time
-Not necessary her fortress will fall-
Eagerness is there but controlled
-Full ease in handling myself-
She'll see Angels in me
-And Demons too-
(: Surely :)

I want to sit with you,
While you read my novel,
Or my poems,
Or listen to me singing,
Coz it's only words,
And words are all I have,
To take your heart away...

I want to entice you,
With the words,
Of my romance,
Of my purity,
Coz it's only words,
And words are all I have,
To take your heart away...

I want to ****** you,
While you are near me,
On my bed,
On my mind,
Coz it's only words,
And words are all I have,
To take your heart away...

I want to relax you,
With a massage,
On your chair,
On your command,
Coz it's only words,
And words are all I have,
To take your heart away...

I want to entertain you,
With my songs and massage,
In your beautiful ears,
On your tired shoulders,
Coz it's only words,
And words are all I have,
To take your heart away...

I want to admire you,
With my adoring gaze,
On your shaky self,
On your unsure eyes,
Coz it's only words,
And words are all I have,
To take your heart away...

I want to complete you,
With all my pieces,
In your body,
In your soul,
Coz it's only words,
And words are all I have,
To take your heart away...

I was born twice, yes I was born & reborn.
Born once on December the 23rd in the year 1990,
And I was born again on May the 7th in the year 2010.

I was born twice, quite unusual, but really true it is.
On December the 23rd in the year 1990 it was biological,
And I survived the accident on May the 7th in the year 2010.

So now you get how I'm a man of Ω-Birthdays, don't you,
Unluckily I fought and brought myself back to this world,
And I am so lonely now, it would've been peaceful if I died.

All of the world who had once been friends with me hates me,
Unlucky enough for me to keep losing real-world friends,
And I hate myself for being such a weird personality.

All the happiness is lost somewhere in this world,
Not unusual for me to lose happiness frequently,
And I must give into this arrangement and suffer.

All my suffering is on behalf of this indifferent world,
Time & Karma distribute sufferings uniformly here,
And I take the problems on myself as I can stand them all.

All the happiness in my account was just temporary,
Let me suffer all of yours problems today whosoever reads this,
And I guarantee you happiness replete when you read this to a grimace.

Yes, today I tell you about naïvety,
Our bright moments all got faded,
Up high above the sky love took you,
Raze you did my love to ground.

Hardworking is a trait of the naïve,
Escaping is the trait of others.
As innocent they might behave,
They might not be dupable.

Innocent people work dedicatedly,
Not the saying the same for smart ones.

Yelp they often for help,
Often they do so for ease,
Underworking lifelong,
Resting most of the time.

Lies you construed for convenience,
Infinite and uncountable lies,
Fife of carelessness you played,
Especially in your romantic life.

Wish they do for an easy life,
Ill they unintentionally wish for you,
Long they will for an expert,
Lastly they will follow their lazy heart.

Teeming with tears your eyes are left,
An aching heart eventually gives away,
Keen to relax with your love they are,
Eastward or westward escape won't help you.

You will rue your actions one day,
Our memories you might forget,
Unto paradise youth will not come.

Down the whirlpool of memories I sink,
Of your guilt you will also feel bad,
Win my heart you did with your naïvety,
Now you are matured as self-centred.

Taste you will many serums,
Of different people they will be.

Another Atul won't cross your way.

Bringing any friends won't help,
Ringing any relatives won't either,
Of loneliness it will be a big hell,
The dome of love you despise,
Have it your way right now,
Enjoy now when you can,
L*ife will settle scores...

I always forget the names,
Eversince my accident.

I hope to forget yours too,
Sooner than later on.

When I say that I love my own cost,
My own personality I love the most,
When I saw my reflection of a ghost,
My intriguing eyes I got within lost,
When I tried not to see the far coast.
My lover tried not staying the post,
When I wanted to be with the host.

I saw a sweet dream just now,
She has gotten admitted here,
Pursuing her master's degree,
She's even plumpier than ever,
I now met her just about daily,
And she has not a single issue,
For she's really busy studying.

I meet her one evening nearby,
She is going to Kaveri Hostel,
Public display of my affection,
She loves them so much more,
I cuddle her publicly & softly,
And she just smiles so heartily,
For she is thankful to destiny..

I then text her on WhatsApp,
She smiles after reading text,
"Your Punjabi cheeks are soft,"
She just blushes to herself now,
I plan a date coming weekend,
And she happily agrees to meet,
For it was always her dream...

My words might have hugged you in your memories,
When you were decided against me & my poems.
When you took the love of mine out of your heart,
You must've remembered me writing poems for you.

It was necessary for the river of your eyes to flow,
It was necessary to love as well as to separate.
It was necessary that we collected our desires,
But it was also necessary for them to breakdown.

Tell me, you remember when you had stolen my heart,
You made that stolen item the home of God.
When you used to say that you read my name in prayers,
You feared to miss the prayer of love.

But now I remember it all,
And know that they were just talks,
It was necessary to roll back on your words,
And it was necessary for your eyes to let the tears fall.

Our faces are the same, you're the same and so I'm,
But I'm lost somewhere, so are you.
You have been disloyal in love,
I was and am still the disbeliever.

We have attained our destinations but still are travellers
I wandered a lot after being cast out from your heart
But whenever I wandered I just remembered,
That to wander was also a necessity.

Neither for this land,
Nor for that sky,
Your identity exists,
But only for this saga.

What good is watching
That old garden of love
As the flower of faith
Has withered away
And your home nest too.

Don't look for faith
In this rudest world
It was not created for
This netherworld
And your identity exists
But only for this saga.

Never kiss if you don't mean it with actual love.
Never promise if you would probably break it one day.
Hearts can get shattered & never love again.
People can perish in the self-lit fires of guilt, insult & pain.
Oh how I wish the world realizes & respects the value of true love.

Only if the world realized the value of faithful love,
It would surely have been the best place to live,
Nobody would want to give up, weep and leave.

Learn being faithful to your partner in love,
Everyone be a faithful lover, husband or wife,
For it is not a rave party our life condemned by witches,
And of course we are humans not dogs or *******,
Learn love, higher love, it's about time.

Coz I'm Loving You,
And I'm Feeling True.

Now You Feeling Me,
I'll Make It Very Sweet.

Wherever You Are,
It's My Paradise Yaar.

As You Come To Me,
I'm So Feeling Free.

Never Felt This Way,
So Never You Betray.

You're The Yaar In Me,
I Feel You In Everything.

As You Travel With Me,
I See Success Reaching You.

The More Toiling You Are,
Sharpening Your Mind Yaar.

Further Up The Trail You'll See,
You'll Be Where You Wish To Be.

Touch Me Finally As You Wish,
I'll Make Sure You Attain The Kiss.

Forever loyal you should stay,
Never should you betray.

For the pleasure is momentary,
Not is the same for everybody.

From the heart of this man here,
New poems in her praise emanate.

I am okay with this brand new arrangement,
Distance from you was not what I ever meant,
But yes, I am okay being just friends with you,
That way I may stay a bit longer if just to linger.

I never know how my future will be,
I get attached strongly & very quickly.

I end up feeling used up and sickly,
I hope that someday happy I shall be.

New feels the sun, new feels the light,
New day, yes it is a new morning.

Passed has at last the night,
A new day is here before me,
Gone are the stale moments,
New day, yes it is a new morning.

Forget what you didn't get,
Flowers have again bloomed,
Now the cows are mooing,
New day, yes it is a new morning.

So just feel the new sun, feel the new light,
Come here, oh my friend, let me hug you tight.

Though they outsource manufacturing,
The major profit stays within the nation.

Micromax Canvas Infinity is definitively a great device.

I watched the skyline from the sea shore.
Staying seated on my comfy chair,
Behaving as if I didn’t care.
I still wanted to go to a new place,
Where I'd be loved,
And I'd be respected.
I realised that I must break the chains,
And I must surf the waves,
For I wanted to have new horizons.

The desired gene could be found
In each cell of the body,
But it expresses positively in few cells.

A trefoil factor encoding gene I mean,
It is found in the intestine
TFF1 is found exclusively in the intestine.

TFF1 is also known as pS2
Meaning protein for specificity 2,
2nd gene discovered for specificity protein.

TFF1 protects gastrointestinal mucosa,
From any injuries that may result
Out of pathogenic invasion.

The trefoil factor 2 encoding gene
Is also found in the intestine
But TFF2 plays a different role in the body.

TFF2 is also known as pS1
Meaning protein for specificity 1,
1st gene discovered for specificity protein.

TFF2 protects gastrointestinal mucosa,
From any cancer that may result
Out of oncogenic activity.

And the third trefoil factor encoding gene,
It is only expressed in the female womb
But TFF3 is crucial for a successful pregnancy.

I love my field of study very much
And I respect my major guide,
Dr Ashok Kumar Mohanty, he is so wise.

I sought recovery.
After my first breakup.
Social service attracted me.
I volunteered to teach for free.

Soon, I was back to old ways.
Delving deep into romance,
Finding my lucky chance,
Addiction called me again.

A co-volunteer she was.
And why not? Why not?
Me, she found interesting,
Who doesn't like an artist?

But she was a cold-blooded narcissist.
Yes, bigger than me, bigger than me,
Her pursuits included the world,
My pursuit was limited to her.

What went on in my life,
What she put me through,
What I found myself dealing with,
What I went through during that time.

Tasked with thirteen exams,
Me she had challenged,
Her narcissistic ways,
I cleared them all,

She was a liar,
Had a bloated ego,
I deflated her balloon,
She finally inflated mine.

The night has ended,
And the dusk is stale.
A different dawn descended,
And the sun is shining pale.

There are some memories here,
Some more are hidden there.
I'm still lonely,
But I'd be lonelier
If not for my parents.

Now I work on my dream rate,
None was more appropriate.

I'm again in a transition,
A non-medical scientist by my schooling,
A writer, singer-poet, and author by passion,
These days I'm at Gorakhpur to join a new job,
For another new opportunity that I grabbed,
One of the many exams I cracked,
This job is that of an Assistant Audit Officer.

I marvel at what life has shown me,
Educated at school in non-medical sciences,
Physics, Chemistry, Math, English & Physical Education.

Then I undertook the first paradigm career shift,
Started my Bachelor degree in Biotechnology
Met with the unfortunate cataclysmic road accident,
Survived the 23-day coma against all odds.

Oh the odds, do you remember, oh life?
200+ beats per minute heart rate in the coma,
104°F+ fever accompanied the ****** injuries,
Fractured cheekbone just below the left eye.

Brain stem injuries sent the global doctors in a Tizzy,
Nobody was certain about my survival or the recovery,
But I survived.

The second paradigm shift here was my survival.

They had said at the hospital,
"Only the most serious cases come to ICU #2,
And the lost cases come to HDU #7."

BUT I DIDN'T DIE.

I survived everything that you threw at me,
Everything, even negative people,
Who made weird recommendations.

What did they recommend to my parents after the accident?
— to make me join an easier degree course,
— to make me train for weaving baskets,
— to set up a toffee shop for me to earn bread,
— and what not to discourage my family,
— my parents had dreams for their only child,
— all the whilst I was in the uncertain coma,
— and the pitiable vegetative state for 30 more weeks,
— where I endured immense pains.

Oh life, you've been so hard!
You gave me COVID-SARS in 2012,
I didn't die,
I completed my B.Tech in Biotechnology.

More loneliness followed,
I still didn't give up on life,
Completed my M.Tech in Animal Biotechnology.

The third paradigm shift was next,
When I cleared 4 recruitment exams,
And joined as a Probationary Officer
With the State Bank of India.

The fourth paradigm shift now comes,
I have shifted to the job of an Assistant Audit Officer,
With the Comptroller & Auditor General of India.

I defeated death,
But I seem to be fighting a lost battle
Against loneliness in my life.