We’ve been out there, alone
Chasing something that isn’t there
It’s taken me far too long
To realize that everything,
Everything we’ve ever wanted
Everything we've ever dreamed
Has been right there in front of us
Right there in each other’s eyes

If you're not up there
in heaven
when I get off this wild ride,
then dying isn't really an option-
is it?

Another Christmas
without you and it doesn't
become easier

6:45 PM
23/9/21

There's a riddle-shaped hole
Cutting deep in my heart
but I gave up in it
Long ago
I swore I had
Accepted defeat
But every now and then
I'll catch myself
Digging at
The riddle-shaped hole
You left
So long ago

"Where have you been?"
She asked.
"A little bit here,
a little bit there,
a little bit everywhere."
I said.

Last night you came to me
Just a dream at three thirty-three
And then you kissed me
I almost felt your body
And when you held me
I couldn’t wake, I couldn’t flee

Every person
comes with their
own legion of demons so
pick a Hell and
make it yours.

Even the bad ones are good-
they remind me of how poorly
reality measures up.

It hurts
day by day.
I can feel you fade
and slip away,
through my fingers
that were never yours
anyway.

Have you ever noticed how
all your friends and family
could come together for
one big party and the
only thing we'd notice
is that the one person
we want to see
is not there.

I think about our future cat
that is, if you wanted more.
Would we have too many to pat
or would they be ours to adore?
We'd argue over countless names
in between our countless grins-
these perfect moments hung in frames,
soaked in pure love and the finest gins.

Viking cats live
in such magnificent ways,
and he was no different-
Valhalla awaits him.

The moon still watches over us
but it doesn’t glow like it used to
It basked you in twilight
reflecting every smile,
every gaze, every hair
and every inch of skin
like a Monet painting
Before my eyes.
But now,
my prized possession,
is missing.
Hung up in
someone else’s museum,
across the world it seems.
Now I cannot paint
without my inspiration,
my muse.
And I can’t bring my fingers
away from your beauty,
trapped behind
twilight glass.

The problem isn't you,
in fact, there's nothing
wrong with you.
Stop blaming yourself
for things that others did
or things you could not control.
Do not question your worth
by the way others treat you
or making comparisons.
Do not second guess yourself
just because others choose to leave
or because they choose to lie.
You are doing well,
do not doubt yourself.

I soar
like a meteor
directly into your heart
but the closer I get,
the more I begin to crumble
and lose myself to you.
Smaller and smaller
until I'm but a pebble
barely making a noise
upon your window.

The Christmas Blues
are falling like snow-
they chill me to the bone.
I'm all wrapped up
in the Christmas Blues
just like the presents
underneath your tree

What was scary as the monsters
Was living in my head
all along.

I'd rather be certain
of the saddest reality
than uncertain about
a hopeful fantasy.

I have come to realize that
we, humans,
have a religion-shaped hole
in all of our hearts.
What do you fill yours with?

I still hope
that we fall asleep
on Io
tonight.

I am no longer anxious
because I have you.
I carry you in my heart,
I feel you in every beat and
all my sorrow
and stress melt
away from this soul.

Why do I love travelling?
because when I travel,
I am no longer me,
No, I am a series of me’s.
I can be who I want to be
In a sea of strangers.  
I can live someone else’s life
away from my daily strife.
I can set a new routine
in a brand new scene
and I can be far away
from my thoughts of grey.
Still, I am always under the same sky
Living another life, chasing another high
Yet it feels like I live in
another universe.

do you ever get the feeling that
The closer you connect with someone,
the further away you feel?
do you ever get the feeling that
when you think of someone so much,
that every thought seems real?

There's someone out there
who feels better just because
you are in their life

7:46 PM
19/8/21

Your love
is a lifesaver
in case you didn't know.

My poor heart
It’s seen better days
If only it could restart
And get out of this faze

my poor heart
When will it ever learn?
It isn't all that smart
It cannot help but yearn

My poor heart
it’s getting out of hand
if sorrow was an art
I’d be the best in the land

My poor heart
Just one more beating
I’d fall off the chart
and hide until spring

the cold of winter
can ruin a lonely heart-
brace for the cold, love

8:34 PM
7/12/19

You are an angel
straight from the city of light.
I am a sinner
but when I'm with you,
I strive to be
a saint.

She won't break your heart,
but she will test its limits.
Fair?
Probably not,
but neither is life,
and life provides
opportunity,
not justice.

Can we still salvage this kiss
from over seven-thousand
miles away?
Were our lips destined to repel
like the north and south pole?
Or will they find a way
like a heart to a soul?
What were we thinking
when we never said goodbye?
what were we thinking
when we ripped our souls apart?
Can we still salvage this kiss,
as damaged as we are?

it is an odd thing
to hold someone close and
lose them regardless

12:27 PM
14/9/19

If someone told me
you’d be mine
sending me your love
all the time
I would have laughed.
But it seems as if
This endless fairytale
is in our eyes again
such a perfect story
and a dream so intense
this isn’t making sense.

I wonder if you know
how to love me when I’m down.
Not only through affection, but  
to be a shining light in these
tunnels of darkness.
I constantly battle my demons-
will you be the angel by my side?
Are you able to fill the void
when a piece of me is
missing from my soul?  
I want you to be here through
the dark days, not only the bright.

We live in troubled times.
The Amazon is burning and yet
no one will answer for these crimes.
Such is the twenty-first century
when the polar ice caps are melting
and there's no one to answer their plea.

it has been a while
since I've written anything worthy
and it has been quite a while
since we last talked.
Perhaps these factors are related-
all I know is that I wrote
some of my favorite pieces
when we kept each other up-
when you were still in my life.

Shakira on the radio,
a gin and tonic or maybe four.
The night is young, baby,
and we aren't
getting any older.

you found me worthy
and left me feeling worthless
when you turned away

7:28 PM
28/6/19

We teach ourselves
to not feel a thing,
yet end up feeling
it right to the core.
Perhaps everything
can not work out the way
we tell ourselves it should.
Perhaps we are merely
powerless creatures.

There’s a song
In your heart
It screams for melody
A harmony to tear you apart
A thousand notes
All in one
A heavenly sound
That can't be undone

Every time you
think about if he
is thinking about you-
you are letting
him win.

What if I could be
your light when all of the stars
burn out forever?

10:45 PM
3/1/21

Every smile,
every touch
and every word
we ever shared were
poems unto themselves.

How long has it been
since you felt the butterflies
flying from within?

3:49 PM
5/11/20

We shared
brussels sprouts
and a magic like no other-
a magic that I haven't found since.

her smile was sweet
on the eyes but ruinous
to my heart and soul

11:10 PM
5/8/19

Awake and thinking about you
and all things we didn't say.
On nights like this I find myself
wishing you were still in my reach
We both still live in the same big city
but it’s not the place we knew.

You try to find that special person
Someone you can be with
Someone you can touch
Someone you can hold
Someone you can talk to
Someone you can identify with
Someone you won’t feel so strange around
You found that they don’t really exist.

I wish to be a
man of hope again but this
life is just too cruel

11:16 AM
22/12/19

I don't know how much
you had to drink but I know
you were completely out of your senses.
I couldn't quite make out the words,
but I guess even then,
it felt good to hear some affection.
Oh, how terse the mind is deceived
so easily by the false mask
of a bottle of ***.

It's true,
the moon - she has kissed me
more times than I can remember.
Me - a little, lost soul in search of light.
She brightened up this soul
with her kisses and care
but wouldn't leave
the sky for me.