It's true,
the moon - she has kissed me
more times than I can remember.
Me - a little, lost soul in search of light.
She brightened up this soul
with her kisses and care
but wouldn't leave
the sky for me.

there are some nights
when life tosses you a name
back into your brain
without caution
and we spiral back
into the memories we thought
had left behind a long time ago.
Sometimes our souls take a fall
over life, an endless cliff,
so let the future help
take you higher than before
so that when a toxic name
crawls back into your veins,
you can fight the poison
that wants to reach your heart
oh so badly.

When I’m full of anxiety,
and can no longer sit still.
When I feel the need to flee,
because reality becomes too real.
I’m not that way everyday,
but the days that I am,
I feel myself start to fray
like no one can understand.
I may not be or act the way
that some might think I should,
but almost every day,
I just feel misunderstood,
I can’t help my own mind;
it darkens and it races.
Sometimes this head isn't kind;
it's not something one embraces.
I just want to find someone;
someone who will understand;
make me not want to run
but stay hand in hand.
Love me for my imperfect ways,
and be my voice of clarity.
And for the rest of my days
please just set me free.
Love me when I don’t love myself,
and help me grow and blossom.
Help me become like yourself,
a shining beacon, the sweetest plum.
I just need
someone who’ll understand.

These early hours
of the morning have never
been friendly to me

2:04 AM
5/12/20

She finds comfort in the night.
Not as warm or popular
as the day.
It must be the silence
caressing her soul at night
or the darkness that washes away
the dirt from yesterday.
She waits for the night-
she waits for the peace.

Your hair flows like wine
Down your body
Sweeter than grapes
And once again
I'm drunk on
The memories
Of you

Just know that I am in love
with your heart
even though you think
it may not be enough.
I listen to your heartbeat every night-
it's my favorite lullaby
and it beats for me as mine
beats for you.

I am a tourist
travelling in between
the sweetest dreams
and the darkest
nightmares.

Throw me to the sharks
and let me see how the beast
inside of you thinks

6:09 PM
9/7/19

I fall in love a little bit more
each time we are together.
The sun warms up,
the moon glistens brighter,
as does your smile,
whenever I'm with you.

This world
doesn't need me-
can't you tell from its silence?
It's deafening.

It's impossible
to lose anything when all
you have is in you

10:50  PM
31/8/22

loving you did hurt,
but I didn't know it would
cost me my own heart

11:06 PM
12/6/19

I feel you slip away
your grip loosens by the second
I'm stretching out my hand
but you don't look up
no, you only stare down
into the abyss below.
I don't know why
you gave up on me
or why I couldn't save you.
I gave it my all
and you still let go.

Where did all the time go?
The time that flows through the wind
It’s a cold breeze out tonight
There’s no one to hear my call
The night is silent
The voices echo
They echo through my head
They echo through you all
It feels like I’ve been put on mute
I try my best to listen and understand
It’s like deciphering an ancient language
My words are lost, our time is up
Where did all the time go?
I don’t know what’s happening
Suddenly I can’t talk anymore
It’s taken too long to realise
That you’re all gone…

She owned two cats
and a heart full of sunflowers.
we listened to the Wombats
and talked for seven hours.
She lived across the sea,
in a life unfulfilled.
I hope she does agree
that we have much to rebuild.

I daydream about
you and the places we could
go around the world

6:29 PM
30/8/19

Love me on the Moon
without Earth's borders
drawn between us
or it's gravity weighing
us down.
We'll dance among the stars
and forget our Earthly scars.

When I read your words
I hear your voice and I wish
they were still for me

1:47 AM
26/5/19

Sometimes,
the knives in our backs
are the only things
keeping us upright;
Who'd have thought
betrayal could be our
greatest asset?
How ironic.

Some nights I don’t want to be here anymore,
yet here I am still dragging myself through
another day of “it could be worse”
alongside my demons
and broken promises.

the city is a
distant monument to our
one summer in love.

she's always had wings
she just never knew how to
fly back to Heaven

6:13 PM
15/8/19

wake up each morning
and find a new reason to
love yourself again

3:52 PM
22/5/19

We’re jumping from island to island
on an ocean
in the clouds;
It doesn’t matter
Anyway.

I had prepared for
this moment as best as I
could but it still hurt

7:27 PM
24/8/22

before the storm comes,
let us drown ourselves in gin
to survive the night.

The sun is gone
and now my heart
is falling like leaves.
The wind takes me away
and I'm left to face
the fall alone.

My mind
may be empty of words
but it is not
empty of you.

She is
a night full of darkness,
wine and solace.

Our first drink of *** was sweet.
It coated our tongues
with spice and the back
of our throats with a burn.
For a moment
I was scared,
because oh,
how easily one can get hooked.

I don't hate you,
I hate what you did.
I hate the person you turned into
because I know that's not you.
I can forgive the person-
always the person,
but the actions
I can't forget.

Our two souls were
brought together
from different worlds-
perhaps to be entwined.
Our stories were weaved
into one-
through the seas and storms
that couldn't keep us apart.

**** fascism and
**** communism and ****
coronavirus

7:20 PM
4/6/20

My mistake was
believing you were
the only star in this
vast but lonely universe.
You were all I had,
all I wanted,
and I forgot that
there's a billion other stars
that could have shined for me.

You're just what I need
Needed...
I miss you
But I know I'm not supposed to
You're gone now
And I need to accept that
Still, I tell myself
We'll meet again
And that you still
Think about me too
So all I can hope
Is that you don't forget me
Don't forget what we shared
If only for a little while
All I can hope
Is that you leave a light on
For what
The future holds

Just when I thought
I hit rock bottom
I always find a way
to drill down
and find
a new
low.

The city never sleeps,
it's too busy wallowing
in broken dreams and
smiles as vacant as the buildings
that are too tall,
and too bright
to ever close.

I find that we poets have
a quiet desperation to write
that keeps us hanging onto life.

I wait for you
In my thoughts,
and in my dreams.
I don't know how long you'll take,
all I know is that you'll be here soon.
My reach is far,
and my hopes are big,
after coming to the realization
that you probably won't come,
and that this is all
in my head.

Why do we
glamorize our pain?
Is it because we're so desperate
to hide our wounds and insecurities?
We fall in love with heartache
and glamorize depression.
We turn our tears to watercolours
to practice the art of sorrow.

Dear Diary;
I think I've figured out
why I enjoy staying up so late.
It's 2:44 am
and the world is quiet.
No one expects anything from me
nor do I expect anything from anyone.
It's just me
and the silence.

My relationship
with you is like that
of the sunflowers
and moon-
always distant
and dying in the absence
of your light.

I want your kisses
to burn a hole through my head
and leave me breathless

10:43 PM
3/1/21

I saw you,
daydreaming yourself into a world
that is kinder than the one we live in.
Good for you,
that kind of peace
is hard to find.

Each one of your smiles
is a sunflower planted in my soul.
Dispel of this darkness and despair
and cover it with your garden.

I have made a mess of you
in my thoughts again.
I didn’t know I could feel this way,
neither did she.
Two hearts, one soul
Two cities, one smile
Yet we’re both scared
for different reasons
She feared I wasn’t real
I feared it wouldn’t last.

She grazed my eyes
with an arrow set to stun.
She put another through my soul
and I fell hard, so very hard.
The next one is for my heart
and I am helpless to her
fatal shot.

There's a fog that will not lift
It blocks my path;
all I can do is drift.
Despite how lost I may be,
I still see a light
in front of me.
I cannot tell just what it is,
a figure, maybe even you
or a me I never knew.
The figure still shines and I follow
through the shadow and cold.
Lead the way, tell me where to go.

Some hummingbirds
Must dream of sugar
And I remember your lips
Sweeter than sugar
Some hummingbirds
Take pride in their feathers
Yet, vibrant as they are,
Your eyes remain treasures
And now, my broken wing,
It keeps us far apart
But I will continue to sing  
Longing for your heart
and your lips, a work of art
So here’s a song to the girl  
that this hummingbird
still dreams about