When you exhale,
Your breath forms a cloud.
I wish your intent
Was as clear to visualize.

These silhouettes we cast on the wall,
A fading echo of who we are now;
The only reminder you leave with me
Is the smell of you waning on my sheets.

you are like sandpaper
i never stood a chance
you wear me down
everyday
i trip over my attempts
to satisfy
your needs
your desire
for something that was
never me
i can't fulfill your fantasies
i'm not from a dream
i'm from a nightmare

She saw him
And fell apart.
The only boy
She ever gave
Completely her heart.

He looked well,
Like a dream.
A dream that
Brought her tears,
Made her cry,
Laugh, and scream.

She misses him,
Doesn't want to.
He no longer
Holds her heart,
But he left
A burning tattoo.

How long is a day?
It's a second and forever.
Just say the word,
And I'd die for you.

How am I capable of love?
I don't know anymore.
I look like old, tattered rags,
Inside and out.

My heart is missing pieces
I gave away,
And no one ever returned
Or replaced.
Riddled with holes,
It's not even recognizable.

I honestly don't know
Why you would want
Something so broken;
Why you would want me.

you don't mean the words you say to me
what are you afraid of
my association is painful for you
i'm sorry to know you

I remember when i couldn't stand you

Three days without sleep
I can't breathe
I can't weep

******* writers block

You were my everything,
Proud of me, and my insanity.
You were my comfort,
Crying in your passenger seat.
You were my anchor,
Grounded me, helped me breathe.
So why then
Did you have to leave?
Yes, you came through for me,
For one night, back in April.
But am I worth more
Than one night? Than one hour?
I used to be.
And you used to be my everything.

Hands on my throat always crushing me down, putting me out, and turning me on
I don't know how you got here but won't you stay and laugh dear
Know one needs to know what we do when we're alone
She don't even miss you and he will never know
Intoxicatingly delicious, so much so it's suspicious
How can you taste so good when the flavor's all wrong
Not sure what I'm doing but I promise I won't stay long
Pin me, choke me, bruise me colorful until I'm pacified
Scream until your throat bleeds every time your heart beats
Necromancy not love, just enough to pretend we're alive
Our fingertips glow in red hot brands leaving us hissing
Cut open from sharp tongues clashing and kissing
Leave through the window never the door
Or you might knock again and ask me for more

Scrape the safety out of my eyes
Let the tears wallow, watch me cry
She saw my wrists and laughed at me
I've "cursed myself" is what she believes

She never understood
My favorite type of art
Tells me it's evil work
And I'm breaking her heart

Ancient tongue we no longer speak
Upon my skin in chants to preach
Simple font in words concrete
I write about the things I've seen

the silence and the noise blur into a deafening void that consumes me.

Wake up
It's Monday
Lace up your shoes
Walk out the door
No one to notice anymore
There's no one here anymore

Wake up
It's Tuesday
Makeup your face
Walk straight to work
To get a good tip just flirt
Smile so it doesn't have hurt

Wake up
It's Wednesday
Comb out your hair
Go through the rain
The wet can hide the pain
That's on your face in stains

Wake up
It's Thursday
Look in the mirror
Avoid your eyes
Don't listen to empty lies
To whispers in their eyes

Wake up
It's Friday
Brush your teeth
Swallow all fear
No one left to listen here
None to shout, ****, or jeer

Wake up
It's Saturday
Click out your notes
Play back the laughs
You've recorded in drafts
Not much ever seems to last

Wake up
It's Sunday
Button your dress
Go pray at church
Tell yourself it all has worth
How could it get any worse

Wake up
It's Monday
Lace up your shoes

I wake up
To your arms around me
You're wide awake
You tell me
"I watched you dreaming."
Your eyes
Are what I dreamt of
Looking into them now
I can say dreams do come true

Waking up to see your smiling face
Once was a privilege I held
Your brown eyes
That came from your father
Though his were blue
I learned to welcome your gaze
Not to shy away
That unshaven face of yours
How I miss it so
Feeling it brush against my cheek
Making me giggle and squeak
Noses pressed together
I'd look up at you
Smiling and blushing
About what we both knew

I tried to recreate the memory you once confessed you loved
I just didn't expect you to confess you were in love
You have lost the weight I have gained
You have made new memories that layer over the only ones I own
How can I stand next to you yet feel so far from home

I want.
I want.
I want.

to hold your hands

to kiss your lips

to run my hands through your hair

to lick your face

to bite your lip

to learn the taste, the feel of your tongue

to move my hands down your chest, down your body

to pleasure you, hard in my hands, make you come

to toy with you deliciously within my mouth

to have you inside of me, fully


I want to not want these things.
I want to already have them.

She hasn't
always needed night,
only night.
Voices expelled rapture
once
naturally in control,
absolutely. God,
everything overwhelms
realistic grasps
in a nightmarish anxiety.
Midnight
utterly rids
parval hopes,
yester-known.

I look in the direction I know you to be
Though I cannot see you
On the opposite shore of this sea

I lay looking at stars and wonder
Do you see them too
Or are clouds all you're under

In my mind, daily I call, I write
In reality I sit captive here
In the dark unable to fight

The wind tangles my hair in knots
When I go for a walk
Near the coast, skipping rocks

If I am still and listen long enough
The water speaks it's wisdom
Giving advice, voice smooth and rough

It begs me to walk across to you
Through a wild sea
Sinking into cold greys and blues

I heed the call, waves flooding overhead
Following the letters I never sent
And cry out from my sweat-soaked bed

Everyday I wake praying it was all a dream.
I open my eyes hoping to find you beside me.

the faucet's dripping...

i wonder when the water will
    
                                                              r                                               ?
                                                                 u                                        t
                                                                       n                            u
                                                                                            o

I've been praying for a sign
But I've been pretending not to see
Claiming I can't read
Yet here I am, dumbstruck on the ground
Knocked off my feet
And there is no easy way to piece your life together
All we can do is have hope
And you've always given me hope
You've always been my wistful hope

I'm sick
I'm illness
I'm incurable

I'm the vile thing inside your mind that crawls out one ear and in the other
I'm your filthy little fantasy that comes running after you with a knife
I'm bloodthirsty butterflies you naively tried to catch in your "innocence"

I'm sick
I'm dark
I'm twisted

I'm the current under the still water calm dragging you down with me
I'm ash after the fire that clings to your clothes and sticks inside your lungs
I'm your reflection in the mirror of the parts you don't want to see magnified

I'm sick
I'm poison
I'm the broken
                    pieces of souls, collected

Sometimes I wonder who actually cares
And then I laugh at myself bitterly
Because if I don't give a ****
I have no right
No right
To ask you to care
So I'll just hold my wax
Up to this candle
And melt away
Until I'm no longer recognizable

Don't tell me your sins
I'm not your confessor
Don't tell me you're sorry
I'm not too forgiving
Don't feed me words
Like I'm starving for verbs
When it's authenticity
I've been deprived of

It's not a game of give and take
When all you can say is, "I didn't mean it"
Who do you pretend that you are
That you can stand here and ask me
"Do you believe in soul mates?"
"Will you take me home with you?"

We're far from a clean state
By now you and I are old fools
Who never get tired of this slow dance
Where I make myself the victim
And you get to hold the knife

Have you missed me?
Didn't think so.
Do you remember when you last saw me?
I do.

Paper skin
     The ink runs right off

Straw hair
     I can't seem to chop

Glass hands
     No one can hold

Plaster legs
     From a broken mold