I wanted to tell the character that I'm writing
That his story would not be a happy ending

And yet with his innocent smile
And joyful eyes

He follows the paragraph like a guide
He soon will know

What a heartbreak will feel like
How betrayal changes someone

But he will also know
What the author feels like

It was like an aphrodisiac
How you stir your tea and gaze into my eyes

I was love struck
Like a flow of electricity ran through my veins

Intimacy hits
And our eyes connect like constellations in the sky

And yet my father said,
When my mother passed

If you would ever love
Know you will lose it all at once

And for a moment,
I realized

How scared I was not to be alone
But to be left in solitude

and without a doubt
I stopped

This won't be the start of a happily ever after
So I'll be the side character

It was a tenacity
She was emptying her bowl of pasta
As he looks unsatisfied

At what exactly?

The dim lights of the restaurant
Or his formal attire of
perfect fitted suit and trousers

Or could it be
The discontented taste of wine
or perhaps his unfinished steak

But what baffles her was
He found everything menial

A display in the trophy section
Just a casual glance in the art gallery

She was just something
He just found aesthetic

Love was never between
    Beautiful Faces
Love was between
     The ugly experiences
Love was never about
     How happy you were
Love was about
     How sad you can be without them
Love shouldn't be
     Judged
Love should be
     Accepted
Love is bound to nothing perfect
Ageless with wrinkles
Love is bound to flaws
And that's the uniqueness
Love varies in different people
In different ways
Of showing " I love you"

Soon the world will know
What's hiding behind every closed door

The smiles that weren't true
The lies of "I love you"

How everyone would say "I'm fine"
Only to be left behind

But the truth is you'll never really dare
Once they are broken you will then
    only then...
You will start to care

You were chaotic
  Like the ocean's rage on a stormy night

You were also harmonic
  Like how birds synchronize in flight

You were silent
  Like how a butterfly would flap it's wings in air

You were deafening as well
  Like a how bomb would explode and shatter my ears

You were lonely
  Like how your anxiety creeps in when you're at a party

You were friendly
  Like how everyone looks at you brightly

You were everything I never would've asked

You were also everything I would've wanted

You were Mine
And I was Yours

You destroyed me,
  Like how you hugged my depression away

You built me,
  Like how your smile makes my day

You were what I had prayed for
And I'm thankful that I did.

"You lied to me"

"Why did I trust you?"

He looked in my eyes,
  Those ocean shores began to become waves I've never seen before

His voice was a sound my ears never heard but was familiar like something from the past.

He answered. "You knew me.

And you didn't"

It's either

Our hearts are
               MONSTERS
that's why our ribs are cages

               or...

Our hearts are
                G O L D E N
that's why we protect it with our chest

Either way

We should never let it go.

We release a beast

Or

We lose a treasure

Don't let me be your dream
  Something you need to achieve

Let me be your nightmare
  Things that keep you up at night

Don't let me be a flower
  You need to take care of

Let me the unexpected sprouts
  You never saw coming

Don't let me be the girl
   You wish to have by your side

Let me be the girl
   You need to have all your life

I'm never something pretty
   Because I am always insane

I don't need you to protect me

I need you to know me

He lives in the past
   And She in the future

Time was never on their side
   He waited for Her to exist

    In the few moments of air he  breathes

    Because the present never happened where the two people would meet.

Let me love myself without the light

Where every imperfection shows

The sadness in my eyes

The sleepless nights with my mind

The voiceless thoughts unspoken

The irrational fear of being judged

Let me love the me I was, am, will be. Let me love the darkest parts of me

My fingers went loose
  
  Like the moment you touched my hair

My lips curved and smiled

  Like how yours would everytime I laughed

My feet stood straight

    The moment you stood before me

And then I let go
  Of a kite begging for the wind to take him away from this world

Like I did,
    With you.

Find peace in the heavens

Where I whisper to the air the things I missed

The words I dare to hear

The guy I begged to live

In my place.

I got so drunk
  I begged my feelings to leave
  But it stayed

Until I woke up
  My head was in a storm
  It was raging my love for you

So I threw up
  All the expectations I had left
  That you would come back

And beg me to stay.

I wonder why
   Amidst pretty girls in **** dresses

  And in smart girls with wealthy riches

  To kind girls with gifted hearts

He chose me...

With messy hair and baggy clothes

To

Senseless humor and idiotic attitude

To

Cheap gifts and angered temper

And last

My broken heart and change of moods

He hugged me, held my hand, kissed my cheek and stayed

With every reason he could've chose someone else

Left with all the reasons why

But he stayed. And I'm truly thankful.

Letting go of the
                         Truth
Is better than holding on to a
                                                 Lie

It's like giving her a
                                   Rose
Full of
             T h o r n s

Walked on every city
  with signs I cannot understand
Spoke in a language
  I hardly can hardly pronounce
Loved people
  with broken hearts
yet I ended up with
   myself
    alone
      atlast

I have wished for you in every star in the sky

and prayed you'd visit me in my dreams

waiting for 11:11 to come for it to come true

Hopeless still, broken inside, yet devoted to you

If I told you a secret
   It wouldn't be a secret anymore

I would never tell it to anyone

That's what you said, when you said the exact same thing I said to you but you told it to her

"I love you"

Hey how are you

I wanted to tell you I'm hurting, that every part of my body is aching. That my eyes wanna cry out from so much pain inside. I'm begging, screaming and pleading to stop it all.

But what do I say?

"I'm fine"

A lie I couldn't bear to deny, everyone else is repeating the same line

I had it...
             These Honest Feelings
But it had me...
              The wrong timing
And the moment you said
               "I'm sorry."
I knew it was the end.
The start of letting go.
   When I finally got to the last hold
      You were there standing, saying
                "Stay."
Our story isn't the most happiest, but I will read it again with every bit of love

I had to say it back.
               "I'm sorry"
Because I can't risk another heartache
Every time you end up falling for him again.

• • •

You don't need someone to admire your Galaxy with all the stars and comets.

You need someone who will find the beauty in every black hole and super nova you created. You need someone who loves you in your darkest

"Stay" The word that slipped his mouth when she was walking away.

She wanted to be chased yet she chose to close the door between them.

Sliding slowly regretting he made her leave and she guilty of shutting the door.

You said we'd be
  All the things we could've been
I said we could've been
  All the things we should be
But in the end...
  You were not mine to have
And I wasn't yours to hold
   So this our beginning
A friendship hurting both

Stepped on the stage
Dancing in the light
Eyes on her
Spinning in the spotlight
She did her show
With rabbits and hats
A thrilling magic of trickery
Everyone in the act
But in the room
A man believed in her power
Yet the show ended with her
  Disappearing.
    Was her final act.

Why are you trying to be his world?  
He can't contain every star in your body.

Every galaxy in your eyes

Whenever the whole solar system would spin on your smile.  

He can't
Contain
The
Universe
You are

I wanted to bury my feelings for you, deep within the ground so it was out of sight.

Never knew it was a seed, sprouting and blooming. It was beautiful you see  just one of a kind.

But I get it, you won't choose it.

Who would pick a daisy in a garden of roses.

And then you picked the one with the most thorns, now it's painted red just hiding in the colors.

But it's actually grey because you left.

He killed her with mere words

Saying everything in poetry

He eventually lost ink

And she started to write her own

Bleeding with her own blood

Dying in black

I wanted to fall asleep it was my escape in this reality

Deeply imagining of what could've been.

Flying around the World with no reason to stop and much as well rest...

The nights are not what they seem, I need to stay awake.

The voices in my head telling me to open my eyes wide

Where only I can see the dark, wishing I was blind.

The silence was killer, to think I'd go back and listen to my Dad read a story or my Mom sing me to sleep

But I hear whispers saying I should leave.

Dreams weren't nice, they were frightful like the night

I can't differentiate reality from slumber.

The moment I close my eyelids I'd feel it, the grasp of something unseen. It's screaming in my ear letting me know

I'm not alone.

It's morning again 24hrs to prepare for Bedtime once more, another battle.  

And the Demon had a score.

It's either

Our hearts are
               MONSTERS
that's why our ribs are cages

               or...

Our hearts are
                G O L D E N
that's why we protect it with our chest

Either way

We should never let it go.

We release a beast

Or

We lose a treasure

I want to be a child

To be carefee
without a single thought of
   T o m o r r o w
     without a single thought of
        S o r r ow

And with no reason to be happy
because no one can take it away from me.

But there's this reason, the unexpected truth.

The error in the program
The lesson I cannot learn
The points on my circle
The turn in every road
The person I can't forget
The reasons are

Y O U.

I'm so tired of loving the people I love and yet there's no day I would take a rest.