Before she ditched me,
She said it,
"Go to her whom you lost your 'V' to."

Not at all meaning 'V for Vendetta',
She indirectly meant,
'P for purity'.

And I really don't know,
As I've lost it,
I mean that I lost 'M for memory'.

So that only makes me wonder,
If I lost it,
Then too I was reborn.

But my love mattered not,
It didn't to her,
I was just an experimental game.

Love was weak 'coz true it was not,
Again I failed,
Now I'm tired of it.

I'll rather live alone,
Scared of love,
Scared of it I'm to the deepest pit.

.
.
.
"I Love You My Dear!"
.
.
.
And That Made Me Smile...

6:30 PM 15/10/18 slam poem
"What's her name?" An excited voice whispered.
My benchmate asked me,
Just as the new girl entered,
With all her glowing ebony beauty.

I thought about something,
Ignored him and simply so,
Continuing my reading of the drama.

He prodded on like a nagging child,
"Tell me, Atul, what's her name?
Who's that **** girl?"

His whisper was loud enough now,
The girl heard it as she climbed,
Climbed higher on the back seats and how.

I glared at my benchmate,
In disappointment & disgust,
It was him who I had befriended.

'Him! I befriended him!! Out of them all!!!'
I thought about my vulnerability in our society,
But I did not react to him out of that anger.

I just said, "What's in a name?"
He raised his eyebrows and moaned, "Huh?"
I said with mirth, "Yes! Someone like you will get her renamed!"
7:00 PM

O my mind's magical drop,
Tell me the meaning of UP,
Why everywhere it is used,
And why it is abused,
How can a bottle in the *** be up?

I just invert the word Stressed,
And have some Desserts!!!

Time brought the joyride to a halt,
Incompatibility being her prevailing issue,
She was my first love.
Even though I tried,
It all ripped apart,
Tearing in front of my eyes!

I escaped my shadow,
Of guilt and loneliness,
By inviting her to curse me.

She said, "You'll repent this,"
I replied, "Who's gonna care about it,"
She started, "You may take it lightly, but one day you're gonna fall off the hill -"
I interjected, "I'm just not gonna take it baby - chill!"
She smiled weakly, "I know that you would love again,"
I said, "No doubt about it, the world is cuter,"
She uttered her curse, "But you won't ever be satisfied!"
I invited few more curses, "Go on, come on - continue your curses!"
She went on, "You'd pay for my tears with your blood!"
I taunted, "Okay! More - just go on baby,"

She snarled, "You'll die feeling lonely in this whole wide world!
The way I find myself lonely under your possessiveness,
You too will feel unloved and unwanted."
I jeered, "Whoa! That scares me to death!"
She continued, "You just can't die so easily,"
I jeered, "Hey that's not like a curse, you can't curse so sweetly,"
She blasted to end it, "Just wait & pray for death to come early!"

True she was, the witch,
My life goes on like her curses,
How true they were!

When you help your buddy get married to his girlfriend,
Against the wishes of both their families and world,
You are observing the actual spirit of Bakrid,
No kidding here - I am so serious!!

You are helping his career in life of AGREECULTURE,
Because marriages are agreements that you sign without reading,
And of course you are sacrificing your friendship,
Just like the underlying principle of Bakrid.

They used to call me Chinese.
They just saw my tiny eyes back then.
They used to boycott me every time mockingly.
They used to call me names - ***** eyes - Slit eyes.
Whenever there was some disturbance at the Indo-Sino border they cursed me jokingly.
I took no offence at any of the well-intended humor.
I knew karate back then if they crossed the line.
I wasn't ever taught to bite dogs back.
I could settle the scores if must.

In the man on top position of loving,
We had the session of love making,
We both were heartily smiling,
We gasp for air while breathing,
Your ******* are heavily heaving,
And as beneath you I am now lying,
You whisper, "Let's change positioning!"

You just sit yourself atop my loving pole,
And as deeper it goes now the tool,
Your voice says silently, "Atul,"
We look like a rider & saddle,
We both will now explode,
We will never forget this love making,
In the woman on top position of loving.

When I write a love poem,
I make sure that it rhymes.
When I write a love poem,
I aim for her heart's chimes.
When I write a love poem,
I make sure to commit the crimes.
The crimes of loving truly,
And crimes of writing the truths.
The crimes of being lovely,
And crimes of romancing the youths.

When Love arrives,
Don't be hesitant about it,
Don't be dumb towards it.

Improvise to be expressive,
Improvise your poems & verses,
Be romantic and passionate too.

Learn to be flirtatious & elegant,
Learn to be welcoming & courteous,
Be adventurous and spontaneous.

Receive love with all its grandeur,
Reflect it with twice the splendour,
Witness the magic of love.

If you broke up
And moved on,
It was not love.

Learning the ways of the world,
Of course it will help us both,
Vehement opposition we faced,
Exemplifying quality throughout.

You descended here as the perennial spring,
Of my heart you are the beat,
U**p against the dark skies you help me shine.

When percentage grows up,
A decripit-scale converts into percentile,
They don't check how much you knew anymore,
They check how many others you defeated in competition.
When you grew up the measure you knew as percentage became percentile,
Yes meaner, deadlier & stingier measure percentage became when it grew up as percentile.

I hoped that she will improve now,
Instead she's on a downward curve.

She got out of one LDR back at that time,
Only to fall into a longer one with him.

Haryana is closer to Punjab if compared,
Mauritius is so distant for another LDR.

She will be even more beautiful,
Heavier will be her eyelids,
Eager will be men for her body.

Would she even miss me,
I** am not aware about it,
Longer this time spent,
Lot she will try to forget.

Ringing bells of her heart,
Every time she will bathe,
Pouring water from the shower,
Early tears will get veiled,
No memories get subsided,
Time spent she will recall.

In The Morning
Reads my morning wish,
In her smart-cell phone,
She wakes up on time,
& brushes her teeth,
Starts her routine.

In The Day
She listens my afternoon wish,
She teaches herself biology,
Gladly smiling to herself,
Wishes the same to me.

In The Evening
She rings me up and we talk,
She and I walk as we talk,
Over call on cellphones.

In The Night
She takes my call saying good night,
She then sleeps imagining me by her side.

The Next Morning**
We repeat the cycle.

I had only started recovery
After that inglorious accident
That I was faced with a seeming
Herculean task at hand as student
When I was to tackle ten exams
An attempt with forgetfulness
I broke no sweat in doing it

I wonder how we will stay,
When we are close together,
Away from the social bounds.

I can't presume us to be good,
When we are close together,
Away behind that wood.

I only foresee them say,
When we are close together,
Away from all societal shames.

I foresee too that someone asks,
When we are close together,
Away from social masks.

I assure you we will be,
When we are close together,
Away from the worldly boundaries.

I don't claim anything baseless,
When we are close together,
Away almost shameless.

I share dignity with you,
When we are close together,
Away in such peace just me & you.

23rd December, 1990; 20:45 IST GMT +5:30
The universe is born with a history & time is started.
Atul is born on a rainy-stormy frigid snowless night.**
People were made to believe that all of this has had been there since a long time.
But for me, the world started when I was born and will end when I die.

I find it offensive,
I feel suffocated,
I hate the smell,
I can't breath,
I don't bleed,
I have my,
Trachea itching from the inside.

So just don't *** in front of me,
Unless you want to get into a scuffle,
In front of diseased people,
If you don't want them deceased,
In front of the kids,
If you don't want them to follow you,
In this addiction.

You
Shy & unbound,
Like the vivid butterfly,
You
Relieving heat in winters,
Like the smoothness of silk,
You
Mascara of nights,
Like the lap of stars,
You
Me Love *You Too

I
Saw You,
My heart said,
Tell me who are
You

I
Have a,
Relation,
With You,
Since ages,
It seems.

You
Shy & unbound,
Like the vivid butterfly,
You
Relieving heat in winters,
Like the smoothness of silk,
You
Mascara of nights,
Like the lap of stars,
You
Me Love You Too

What praise should I tell about You,
The entire world is flattered by You,
Your purity is like an evening incense,
You're the sunlight & the shade,
You're the night & the day,
You're my land & sky....

I
Saw you,
My heart said,
Who are You tell
Me

I
Have a,
Relation,
With You,
Since ages,
It seems.

You
As if your cloudy hair,
Like the blocked light,
You
As if savory thoughts,
Like colorful dreams,
You
As if your questions,
Like my explanations,
You
Me Love You Too

As if You had taken a bath in the dew,
So has a smile blossomed on Your lips,
You are like angels & the life of my soul,
If I have You then I won't come to my senses,
You do me this favor...

I
Saw you,
My heart said,
Who are You tell
Me

I
Have a,
Relation,
With You,
Since ages,
It seems.

You
As if shimmery bliss,
Like the soft daylight,
You
As if good old memories,
Like remembered promises,
You
As if cave in stormy weather,
Like the seven directions,
You
*Me Love *You Too

And the old ways are not satisfactory enough,
You feel like wanting to marry a petite girl.
A beautiful girl she should be who gives you a feeling pleasurable,
You start dreaming of her imparting satisfaction immeasurable,
Imagine her digging nails into your back as deeper you seep.
Not away from marriage you keep your desires ever,
And the imagination takes the better of your youth,
The volcano accumulates lava & erupts blissfully.

I shall not lose heart,
I shall never lose hope.

You may be miffed with me,
Not today but someday in future.

You shall not lose love,
You shall never lose romance.

I have my plans, darling,
I plan to make you fall back for me.

You might wonder what it is,
Not that I shall keep it so secret.

You will simply find it hard,
You will not stay angry with me for long.

She* & Me going on a dark path,
One day as she panics,
Out come these words.

Where is yourself dear,
I can't find you near,
And I don't see it clear?

I reply holding her shoulder,
**I am right behind you,
Your guardian in need.

Oh my Prosperity,
Oh my Serendipity.
Oh my Destiny,
Oh my Honey,
Oh my Austerity,
Oh mother of my Posterity,
Where are you?

Oh my Creepy little fellow,
My bestest friend Creepy.

I remain alone here composing these poems,
In your dreams with closed eyes and the open eyes.

How could I not tell you that I've lost much in the time you're away,
You went away and so did the lucky charm you had brought my lonely way.

What else should I tell you about Creepy my friend, thinking so I frown,
In your absence much has been lost in my world that has turned upside down.

It's been long since I've read a poem of yours posted on Hello Poetry,
Everyone waits for you and I miss you the most my lovely young friend!

So tell me soon that you're free after your exams at least for some time,
I am done enough waiting and your absence is made felt even by the chime.

Now I don't get nightmares,
Perhaps it was just a phase,
Yeah, she had a scary face.

But I never get good dreams either,
Not when I'm a sleeping monster,
Nor when awake without anger.

Here nobody does forever dock,
My heart is such a lonely rock,
Where dreams do not knock.

I wonder, more I wonder and I wonder more...
Where has that love gone?

I ask the sun, I ask the stars and I ask the air..
Where has that love gone?

I look within me, I seek in you and I realize it's no use.
Where has that love gone?

Was I so controlling, was I so demeaning and was I so stone-hearted??
That love has gone far away!

Were you not too rude, were you not insulting and were you not always on the aggressive???
That love breathes its last in me.

In this world full of deceit,
Where should they be headed now.
The crazy lovers in love forever,
Where should they be headed now?

The fires are always guarded,
By the watchful eyes of the world,
Those who wish to immolate,
Where should they go and burn?

Those which are hard to recite,
And those that are hard to veil,
Confess, oh poor lonely hearts,
Where should those poems go?

The witch can easily hide herself.
She is expert at being hideous.
She is adept at camouflage.
She is the most beautiful.
Her face ratios are perfect.
Her ****** ratios are so too.
Her feet are turned backwards.
Her energy is stored in her braid.
The long hair is her great strength.
Amazingly it is also her sole weakness.

We had a female in lead,
You don't seem to concede.
Male chauvinistic society,
Your country lags by years.
But it doesn't matter overall,
Because you have sincerity.
India shamefully still lacks it.

Wherever far you may go,
To whichever world,
This world is the only truth,
Rest is just a grief.

While you are smiling,
Everyone is a relative.
But when you weep,
Then you are all alone,
And you have to trod upon thorns,
Laughing becomes a pain.

Wherever far you may go...

Only disgrace stays,
Forget about benefaction.
All passion disappears,
Forget about cheerfulness.

Wherever far you may go...

The shade of a tree,
It is the least selfish.
Selflessly it gives shelter,
To all birds & animals alike.

Wherever far you may go,
To whichever world,
This world is the only truth,
Rest is just a grief.

Whether you come,
Or you do not,
I will survive,
Yes I will thrive.

Howsoever be the measure,
There won't be any pressure.
As you are connected to me,
And I am committed to you.
Whether you come,
Or you do not,
I will survive,
Would I thrive?

What fun will be my life,
Without you as my wife,
What life will be my life,
Each moment punishes.
So you should come,
Now you do,
I will survive,
Then I'll thrive.

So cute like an Angel,
But about her only I felt so,
None of my friends thought so,
They could just have been jealous,
No body else thought so either,
But I just loved her purely,
So much like a father.

She thought not of attaining as love,
It was not a long established thing.
No, she just read freaky literature,
Online from sources so like Quora.
Right from where the people exalt,
'Course about their own thinking.
And in the process, she loses her identity.

A Group-B Gazetted Officer,
Working in the shoes of an
Assistant Audit Officer,
Assigned to the Railways
At The Office of the Director General of Audit,
North Eastern Railway HQ,
Gorakhpur.

A former Probationary Officer,
Of an Assistant Manager-grade
With the State Bank of India,
Working in the Chandigarh circle
And posted in my hometown,
Now I miss my mother,
Really.

Before that I tried to get a PhD,
However, I quit it during COVID,
Because age doesn't wait,
Time isn't locked down,
And I had nothing to lose,
Only exams to crack,
And interviews to groove.

Lost love? What's that? A lonely dove?

I've my parents with me,
And I have my victories,
The stories of which I relive,
And these memories boost me,
The euphoria of Nostradamus,
It envelops me in totalus,
Never me, never free.

Even after they transcend to afterlife,
I'll have their teachings with me,
Well, that's a case if I live beyond them,
Because as of now, improbable it seems,
I'm unable to imagine a life without them,
We are trying our level best to look for a lady,
A humble lady who can teach me more,
And also learn something new from me.

Born on December 23, 1990,
In Karnal city of Haryana,
At the strike of 20:53 hours,
Grew up much loved albeit a bit lonely,
For my parents' child I'm the one and only,
I love writing original songs, poems, and novels too,
Now I look to co-author my next one with my wifey.

I only care about the sandwiches I get to eat!

Myself.
I shall never ditch myself.

Parents.
They twice brought me to life.

Life.
She showed me who would stay.

I knew not what love is,
That was,
Before I had met you.

I knew not what caring is,
That was,
Before I did care for you.

I knew not what feeling is,
That was,
Until you kissed me.

I knew not what lust is,
That was,
Until I kissed you.

Yes, I have always missed you,
And now,
I don't feel like loving anyone else.

Who painted the world,
The brightest Sun & Moon,
The glittering Stars & Nebulae,
The cherry Cheeks of little Babies,
The venomous Fangs of thin Snakes,
The grapish Eyes of young Babies,
The twinkling Oceans & Waters,
The beautiful Lips of Yours,
Who painted the world?

Why do I get on the wrong books of people?
Why must I get to that area of their opinions?
Why should they stop being in contact suddenly?

Oh leave it!
Let them maintain their books.
The problem is theirs,
(-; Not mine! ;-)

Traditionalism is what they follow,
Prehistoric is how they live,
Caring none about real human beings!

They depend on human protection,
Yet they pray the lifeless idols & establishments,
Statues & religion they call them and waste money on them.

They would do their own important work,
Tell me to better stop writing these blasphemous poems,
Praying, remembering the lord & idol-worshiping is all they care about.

People like them won't donate directly to the poor,
They say that they put some money in the places of worship,
Idols - their idols is who they live for and survive by.

My telling this to my countrymen or anybody in the world is vain,
They would still go to on or more places of worships,
Think that it is not idol worshiping and again not serve the needy directly.

They can only criticize me for writing blasphemous words of pain,
They would even fight with or **** me if they got hold of me,
But they won't stop idol-worshiping and start serving the poor directly themselves.

A Messiah calls the idol-worshipers,
To avoid going to places of worship,
To come and serve the real world,
To realize that what you are losing,
To help you realize the value of humanity,
To make you realize the value of the real world.

If you're not scared of change then join me in this new religion,
Here we don't worry about God/Ishwar/Bhagwan/Rabb,
But we do things that make The Power Happy,
Do social service and cleaning their houses,
Help the needy monetarily/practically,
Instead of just donating somewhere,
Shun donations to the places of worship,
Go to the needy personally or parcel them happiness,
Make sure that the courier service/other establishment you use is 100% genuine.

Avoid those agencies who are supposedly in one of the common names of The Power,
Hire a company/firm to actually make your donations reach the needy,
It'll be very helpful for the humanity which is prime & real,
Try this by whatever methods you find genuine,
You'll feel yourself elated & calm,
Take my word,
Seriously.

Is that because you have not experienced it,
Or due to the reason that you hear only bad about it,
Rotting & offensive stench of death discourages you, yes it does.

You would call me a mad man if I said that I've tried dying once,
But yes, definitely I've tried it once by getting my bike,
My helmet-protected head collided onto road.

It was because of the mishap I passed into a long sleep from it,
Or you may prefer to use the more appropriate word for it- coma,
Testing my limits & my loved ones for their love that I turned poetic.

Personality changes occur after a great emotional or physical upheaval,
So did to me, definitely was less bent towards this art form,
My people think I'm not me but someone primeval.

You & anyone who claims the otherwise to be true can confuse it to be bad,
With extremest pain for the self & the family of the one who dies,
But it's not their only confusion & not their only fear.

What we fear isn't just death,
It's the addictions controlling you & me,
Addiction of family, vices & oxygen made me win!

I talk a lot.
In 2012, I created a blog.
There, I talked about the next ice age.
The Milankovitch cycles, you know.
It's still 50,000 years away,
But our actions, yes, the human actions,
They can disrupt the cycle.

Because I can.

Why do people fall in dear love?
Why do they fall for someone particular?
Why do people fall in dear love?
Why do people of opposite gender attract, oh why?

If you think of it like you do,
Love is only the blues,
Every hit taken in love is sweet.

You must **** your pride in love,
You must keep smiling in pain,
Why they mix a poison in dear life?

Why do people fall in dear love?
Why do they fall for someone particular?
Why do people fall in dear love, oh why?

There's no life without love,
One without love is lonely,
What life is there without love,
Without love you are lonely,
Love brings millions of colours.
People often love someone secretly,
God knows why they are scared to say truly,
Why oh why oh why?

Love is needless trouble,
Love is beautiful all the ways,
Oh I am good away from love,
Love is truthful in all avatars,
Those who step down at the banks of love,
They surely drown one day,
Why oh why oh why?
Everybody loves their someone special,
Know not why only you denial,
Why oh why oh why?
Why oh why oh why?
Why oh why oh why?

Why oh why are they so weak?
Why did you break away so easily?
Why do you bluff it was hard?

This is just a poetic way of expressing what I guessed.

Because I had the best life
Because I had the best friends
Because I had the best parents
Because I had the best enemies
He seemed unhappy

Because I rejected that call of His
Because I outlived that day of His
Because I declined that offer of His
Because I survived that curse of His
He seems unhappy

Because I don't pray
Because I detest Him
Because I don't believe
Because I don't fear Him
He will again be the antagonist

I will be fully ready this time
I will let things be at peace again
I will let Him have His way this time
I will welcome her with my arms wide open
I won't escape death again

I invested all my love on you,
And the world knows about it.

Neither anyone else wishes me,
Nor do I wish anyone else to.