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The biggest difference
Between you and me
From what I can tell
\            //
\         //
...
//         \
//             \
Is that you believe
We are different and
I believe we are one
Ham
...
#Xforce
..
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3150071/hyponotism/


Revised at 4:20
At Da Vinca
Utah
August
The 28, 2019
AIA Jul 2019
This garden is filled
With blossoming loneliness
I tied myself
To this sandcastle filled with thorns
What is your name?
Do you even have a place to go?
Oh, could you tell me?
I saw you hiding in this garden

And I know
Your heat is real
Your hand picks the blue flowers
I want to hold it but

This is my destiny
Don’t smile on me
Light on me
Because I can’t go to you
There’s no name to call

You know that I can’t
Show you me
Give you me
I can’t show you my weakness
So I’m putting on a mask to go see you
But I still want you

A flower that resembles you
Blossomed in this garden of loneliness
I wanted to give it to you
As I take off this stupid mask

But I know
This can’t go on forever
I must hide
Because I’m ugly

I’m afraid
So pathetic
I’m so afraid
In the end, will you leave me too?
So I’m putting on a mask to go see you

What I can do is
To make a pretty flower
That resembles you
Blossom in this garden, in this world
Then breathe as the person you know
But I still want you
I still want you

Maybe back then
If I had just a little more
Courage
And stood before you
Would everything be different now?

I’m crying
At this sandcastle
That’s disappearing
And breaking down
As I look at this broken mask
And I still want you

But I still want you
But I still want you
And I still want you
This is a lyric from the song of BTS titled The Truth Untold which is based on a true story way back on 1500's - 1600's.

It takes place in a small town in Italy The story's about an 'ugly' man who hid in an old castle alone. because of his looks he received lots of hate & cruelty while growing up. He never opened his heart to anyone. Whenever they tried to approach him, he hid in anger. His happiness was to plant flowers in his garden.

One day a woman appeared near the man's castle. She jumped over the garden fence and stole a flower. This angered the man at first. So he watched his garden all night. But when he fell a sleep, the woman took another flower. This continued for several nights. The man pretended to be asleep and watched the woman steal a flower. He started becoming curious about the woman. He began waiting for her. without realizing he kept waiting for her to come and the next day seemed a little brighter.

Following after her one day, he realized that she was selling the flowers that she stole from him to make a living. The man desperately wanted to help the woman. But he was afraid she would be terrified by the way he looks. He knew she would not love his 'grotesque' appearance. He came to a conclusion that the only way he would be able to help her is to let her continue stealing flowers from his garden. The man decided to make a flower that doesn't exist on the planet. So that the woman could sell them at a expensive price. He began to make the flower in his castle.

After many unsuccessful attempts, the man made a flower that didn't exist and filled his garden. But the woman stopped coming. No matter how long he waited she never came to his garden. He eventually found out that the woman had died.

Listen to the song on Youtube or in Spotify sp you could feel the vibe.
Thank you. ^_^
PS. Credits to the one who typed the story on youtube. :))
faith Jul 2019
can’t stop this warmth
warmer than the sun
deeper than the sun
it’s bound to cause some harm

see the human body has so many needs
needs that require tenderness and affection
but some needs require a level of intrigue
with complete apathy
which wolf will you feed?


darling i remember when your hair glistened in the sun
and how my tears and sweat
- slid down my cheek -
hit the ground


i remember the innocent interest and the pull to talk
you drew me to you
i never said stop


i never said stop


i need to be my own, darling
a darling nobody, owing nothing
born from nothing
but will pass on with everything


every single moment is a blessing
memories are treasures
tears purify
darling nobody,


my heart requires stability and silence and sweetness
my body requires more roughness tightly, tough, and true
a vehicle for lust and a vehicle for apathy
so i’ll never have something to lose

polarity of emotions has expanded me
my heart
my mind
my will
my strength
my hope
6 - 30 - 19
r May 2019
There’s a 55 gallon drum
in my yard beside the deck
half full of empty bottles
black ashes from burned poems
worthless words, regrets, bad
checks, the busted up scorched
bridge of Kurt Cobain’s Martin D-18E
half finished lyrics, melted Nirvana
vinyls, suicide notes charred and scared
every-bit as sincere as when written.
#v
Lynnia Apr 2019
Well hello again. Although we’ve clashed,
A new tune rises from the ash
Vermillion chords may paint this song
Ending it all; I hope I’m wrong
blake Mar 2019
geese                                                                soar
    as if                                                        they
         have                                          nothing
              to wor                       ry  about
                      they                  just
                          fly              in
                            the     shape
                                of  a
                                  V
Aleczander Feb 2019
Blood is Red,
Bruises are Blue,
You are Special,
And that why I love you.
Just a little twist for V day.  I was listening to Good With Grenades - Bruises and Bitemarks when I wrote this
Karijinbba Jul 2018
I STILL EXIST- I STILL EXIST
My pen writes
I still Exist

and an empty feeling engulfs me
I am painting a purple tree
I tell my family counselor
That the paint reminds me
Of arsenic Greek cheese dust
That a human predator
two faced fiancee
placed on my green salad in 1976
He said he would teach me how Greeks killed with love at sea
Then kindly offered
To bring
breakfast and lunch
for me in bed
(Ladden with poison)
While I ate it he danced Zorba the Greek!
His jealous raicist medeas mistresses knew his past crimes
I didn't I was very naive
his superstitious ignorant parents twelve people  asked him to Get rid of me baby and all

Overdosed with pitocin for a cow
giving birth was a torture
then blood thinners
were added to slowly
end my life
A hate crime because I a sub human born in Mexico not Greece
The poisons caused
a chest malformation of my daughter requiring surgery
later in life was mis-diagnosed
as pectus scavatum
but I knew better it was
attempted ******
a chilling secret I was so ashamed to reveal

I did escape my kids and me
we survived  the memory
of my true love's loving ways
In America saved me from certain death there I was 75 lbs
When I escaped Hell
Greece
But salads gave me
Nausea through the years
I could never recall why

Painting gets my mind
Off painful memories
resurficing examining my life understanding me and others

I have many regrets unwittingly
my loving innermost feelings
remained trapped inside
and I lost my true love
in my dead calm silence of pain
Foolish online Ink
One involuntary bad deed
In Veracruz
Two SAD songs

My shrink says I have a beautiful
Soul a relentles spirit
That I managed to do better then
Most despite hellish adversity
A childhood marred with
heartbreak a trail of
Graves tree stumps
Coffin and treassures
Spirit breath of life and death
  
My hybrid race was secret
Poverty lack of Rhogam
My father the Apocalyto
Hero killed by MEX Feds
Who stole my Land
We are indigenous
Purhepecha tribe
The enemy of the Aztecs
So me my father's little queen of the forest his STAR could
Fly high and zoar
He was the love of my life
My dad David

A few days of effexor RX can bring about amnesia to block old kidnapping memories of turture resurficing unsolicited
Effexor to stop tears
regulating serotonin disrupted
After a car accident with traumatic head injury concoussion brain swelling so much that falling asleep for three months was impossible

MD prescribed just a trial
few warp eight mind bending Effexsors serotonin reuptakers
For only fifteen days
Half of thirty seven mg
Tears stopped immediatly a calmnesss
self assured old me demeanor
re-emerged I remember the arsenic and blood thiner injections the faces of sadistic jealous women but it didn't hurt

But soon my heart began to speed up so fast I could hear it beating in my ears at lowest dose

so the higher dose was not allowed.
Side effects if used longer than six months could make the
face to twich! who needs that!

So therapy ended slowly redusing small to smallest dosages for fifteen days
treatment ended
Don't like messing with my brain

Today I enjoy simple pleasures
echos born like me in
In the atlantic mystery

family time my lifetime best
best lover best Mother
nest friend to me myself
Remembering those few
Souls
Who deared greatly
their wisdom and foresigh to bet
On my future my light myself!
my father's little
Queen of the forest tribute to
My Once Upon A Time
True love his love songs
His poems quickening me
Awaking me
He was the love
Of my life my true love JPC/RC

He showed me he loved me
But he never could "tell me"
He loved me all my fault
Thinking back not ever
any other man told me
he loved me one or two boys wanted something from me freely given or taken by force from me
I didn't want them at all
No person growing up
Ever
Told me they loved me and most showed me my life didn't matter
many of my civil rights were violated throughout my life by thugs hainas had more charm
Only my father David San chez
and later my adoptive Mother mommy dearest told me once she loved me showed me she cared.
My children tell me and show me
They love me
Sometimes they hate me too
sadly they are under the spell of deadly sterile drug user enemies who assassinate my character lie and slander me to my grown daughters and I have now become estranged until they figure all out on their own so they learn to fight woolves in sheeps clothing and understand treason
and ungratefulness towards their own mother
There was only one man I loved
The MOST on this whole wide world
His ink scripted love remained the good intermigled with evil
Forever a part of me
My Lord Shiva my first teacher
My sage my guru
My Lancelott
Me  first love my last love
my tree of life he was
The only man I ever loved
and lost
Looking back
I thank G** King Jesus
King Arthur
And few other men who
Traveled in and out my door
Only one had my lock's key
I am glad you came along
I sing this last song
In memory of all the good
The bad and very bad
The few nefarious vipers I kissed
I forgive you all forgive you me for NOT
Understanding you
For loving those fellowmen
Who didn't know how to love me back
I wave my last
Good bye
I
Will
In your light and my own
Pray for you and me

As for the love of my life
"You are like a prayer
In church to God"
"I remembet you,
as someone something
VERY DEAR and precious"
You were the Best
You touched my STAR
And my starry skies sparkle
With your light remember me
in the same light my love
Look me up with your telescope
When you watch the stars
From your sun roof
In your bedroom

Find my Aries Constelation
For there is
My home
Without
You
I've taken with me a piece
Of Veracruz
A Mothers Day surprise
at the Hilton
raised in your arms on a warm June at a  bar
Where i felt like a bride
your bride

I almost asked you then and there to throw a big party
for you and me
But the monastery's dead silence
Growing up isolated
Silenced the spontaniety
Of thought you required of me
yet again!You regressed me you
tried in so many ways for me to
tell you  "I love you I am sorry
I'll marry you!"
All over again
I adored you remember this
Always.
Look me up with your telescope I AM
in The Aries Constelation I am Aprils daisy Aries diamond a
Yelow Self Existing Star says the Tzolkin Star Seed
Galactic seed always flowering....Enter me
Yours Always.
~~~~~~~
Revised 11-29th-2018
Excerpt from my memoir
auto biography
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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