You may feel like you're on top
Like a golden drop
On a dragons tongue
That sits on a throne
Of heart strings
Protecting her  
From the blind archer's bow
He has that heroic sick grin
Of he that has been chosen
To slay the horrid beast
Prepared to destroy such a beauty
Simply to obtain a shiny new title
How can it be?

But then
Under the mountain
Minstrels sing and dance
Chorus erupts
As the king and queen's
malicious grins
Last long enough to fill an army
With twisted sick madness
And I must admit
That even I
Am filled with excitement
At the thought
of a fairytale uprising
With dragon's heads on spears
And murderous knights
on silver thrones
And It's easy to forget
How wicked we can be
Especially when times are good
And we feel
Oh so great about ourselves

But think about the others
The pained and the dying
Those who live their lives in fear
And when you forget
That a click of the fingers
Can change one's life
It's so easy
To feel so bright and good  
And get into that bad habit
Of loosing ourselves

Applause
Ten bars long
No pause
Swift swaying motion
Along the hook
Lit up hands clap
But don't echo
They'll sway
Passing by
Words of thought
Daily talk
Catch a few
Hear things so sad
Think of it's relativity
To you
But stop
Just stop  
That will be you
sad
The cycle will continue
Eating away
The happiness
Of now
And now
And now
And the few more hours
Maybe more
Stop a few
Daylight savings
Not back
Forward
Forward
It's going forward
Even an end
Pain towards
But it's happy
So happy
One year to go
The Blackbirds song
Shows up at my window  
To Escape
But dependent
Still dependant
So so dependant
Not on time
It's not you
It's a loan shark
Time
Toothpick falling
Moustache shaven
Foam falling on ground
In black and white
At the crumblings start
But no it's started
Moment of birth
No end till moment of death
Sleep breaks
Still up
Three am
Heavy breathing
On Time
So don't panic  
You have time
Lots of time
Twelve
Six
One
Zero
Don't think about zero
Zero
Don't think of the end
End time
Movement
Slicked up hair
Passing me by
A ghost
That still lives with me
But not yet
The lock will slip
You a ghost
Not yet
Not yet
Not yet

Half an hour later
Sitting at the banister
With tears
Funny noises
The Looks around
A Half a cup of tea
No sugar
Not an end  
Here's me
Not me

We used to go down by the old dock
To wait for the boats to pass by
In Amsterdam's last nook
With our old hand gloves
That kept the last inch of our old selves attached to our bodies
And the air was fresh
Filling our lungs with aromatic daytime
The buildings leaped out of the river
Making the horizon line a thin slip above us
And we came alone
To Amsterdam
To the handsome port here
Just to get some chips in a cone

In the Afternoon when the fog had gone and the cold had warmed
We went for a long walk
Just on our own
Through the city
Along the Canals
My lord It was beautiful to see it all so clearly
The floating tops of great cathedrals
And slanted open top house boats
We even rented out bikes
Saw the streets by night
Felt the chilly winds return
But in bed felt the warm ironed sheets beneath us
And we came once a year
To Amsterdam
To The constricted Canals
Just to get some chips in a Cone

But we did go home of course
Well you did
I though, never left those days we spent
In the golden light of the canal-side winter markets
You moved on and called it a thing that we used to do when we were young
When we had more time than sense
I still remember it as if it was yesterday
Us in a peddle boat
Passing the Frank's old place
With that love of the past
And of just silence
And we came with each other
To Amsterdam
To the storm of riverside cyclists
Just to get some chips in a cone

I'll never forget them
Those chips in a cone we had
At least seven times a trip
We'd go up to the stand by the canal
And not worry about our health for once
This was more important
It was the chips in a cone that brought us together
And the taste of such a simple thing still makes me smile
I remember the last and final time we went
Just before we had our first son
It was the night before we left
And I went up to the woman in the chip in a cone stand
One more order
One last chips in a cone
It was all I had come for
So simple but such a milestone
The end to my youth
And we left with each other
From Amsterdam
With a lot more than we brought
Forgetting to finish our chips in a cone

Between dark layers  
And sun setting horizons
Something beautiful was born

Unrewarded again
Was the helmetless knight
For a hero is nothing  
Without mask shining bright
Or courage of steel
To keep evil at bay
If he's not looking right
Then I'll send him away

If great sea monsters drown
And dragon eyes turn to stone
What fun if it's done
By a shrivelled old crone
Who could save thieves a bullet
And few years in jail
there's no sign of her
In this fairytale

So where is the saviour?
The galant, the wise
The hero who kills
With a flick of his eyes
Well he's feeling tired
And wanted A treat
So he moved out of town  
To a new penthouse suite

But he's still a hero
just sits around having fun
He's Got all his teeth
And his heads nice and dumb
Or maybe the authors
Just got carried away
And lost sight of the message
They want to convey

Christmas
Such a ****** mess
Greed at your hand
And selfishness

drunk toothless death  
As you and ** and you **
But it's perfectly fine
under blankets of snow

Staring at lights
While I kick in the tree
Smashed glass on the floor
decorative glitter debris

And you give all you have
To those who can't eat
So you won't go to hell
When you're finally beat

So once every year
When God's looking down
Remember to give him a smile
and chip in half a crown

Because the rest of the time
Well, who gives a ****
They can make it alone
If they have their very own Christmas ham

Cornerstone of a drastic life
Are the lies that stop us
From killing each other
With these heavy metals
In deadly wars
Or just our fists
In the moment
To stop your deadly laughs
With storms of metal hornets
That nip at your flesh
Until you're dust
But with this
small unjust curve of words
Waiting will be worth it
Because you'll survive
Survive
But not live
That's all you need
All you need
is something
A lie
A cornerstone

Death bells
Through Open doors
With screaming flames
Of dark black thorns

pulsing shouts
And single notes
Grasping the pass
Of each other's throats

Telephones wires
With buzzing beats
The red hot sand
On empty streets

Crows feet
With rusted beaks
Who will be stopped
When next it speaks

Rising blood
In my own bed
Angry smiles
Inside my head

Sudden break
Of a cloudless night
alarm clocks ring
And crows take flight

Fly away
To nearby towns
These pointless lies
Won't make any sounds

And I can't speak
Without my heart
And not to you
Where could I start?

It was at one time
Many fine days or years ago
Near a place I had known well
Somewhere I had long since
Deemed as 'a place to be'
It was there
That I first met Dwell.  
I had waited there all night
for any such sign
of a slow sunrise
That seemed at the time
Like it would never come  
So there I sat by myself
On a grassy heap
Recently dampened
By the passing morning dew
Trickling through the grass
And overpassing my eyes.
It was sometime in late June
Just as midsummer's day
Had passed away  
I Alone in the countryside
Just as the vague light
of early morning
had passed through the sky
Unsure of whether  
It would turn into something more
Or just slouch back into more night
And I remember
Remember feeling so uncertain
Of what was going to happen next
It felt like a divine crossroad
Two paths
with two equally likely roads
And ways to go.
'On the one hand' I said to myself
'If the sun is doomed not to rise
I could become the king
Who all would despise'
For I had and always will be
A man of the night
A dark towered figure
passing through black corners
That could be me in royal robes.
And I laughed to myself
It certainly had got to
that stage of the night.
But alas there it was
Unmistakably clear
The golden curl of sunlight
Passing through the clouds
Just sunrise
No dark kingdoms for me
No
Just the prize of morning
a small reward for
Surviving the night alone again.

And It was just then
That I heard the first sign  
A clip, a stumble and a low drone
as I peered up
What a sight met my eyes
Out of nowhere it seemed
Something
That I had never ever seen before
High in the sky
Almost touching the sun
It was old Dwell's Zeppelin
Of course
But I had no idea of that
back then.
As it came closer I stood up
A black frame traced with letters
It Contrasted well
with the indigo sky
And I must admit
That even I in my wisdom
And lessons of earth
could not hold back my fear.
But I would not run
I just sat and watched as it fell
Fell down down down
And landed in a nearby lake.
I could read it now
If I squinted my eyes
'Dwell and Co'
It read
'Traveling tailors
Workers of wind
Magicians of sea
And loyal dream makers'.

Before too long
When the clouds all had passed
I heard a click
from the Zeppelin's door
And then a splash
And upon seeing it open wide
I decided to take a look
At that thing in the lake.
I stood by it's edge
And watched.

And then
Down by the lake  
Out of nowhere
An old wooden bridge did appear
From nothing
like some unrehearsed magic trick
Connecting the zeppelin
To where I stood
I almost fell over as I looked at it
Old rotten wood
with dusty lit lanterns along
And just then a figure stepped out
Dark and small
walking towards me
His face catching the light
Not ancient, not young
With a dumb happy smile
He approached me
eyes covered
with those low flight goggles
He wore on his eyes
'It's oh so nice to finally
Meet you my friend!
Your thoughts
they have touched us
And we cannot pretend
That we're not intrigued
So let me welcome you here
There's no need to hide
Please come on with me
And I'll show you inside'
He brandished his hand
And waved me towards
The bridge that had just arrived
And I was confused
By his confusing words
Who in the world
Did he think I was?
'Its nice to meet you too and You're ever so kind'
I responded to him
'But oh can you please
explain what's going on?
I don't want to be mean
But this is the only
floating bridge zeppelin
that I've ever seen'
He chuckled and chortled and said
'Dually received
We'll tell you inside
Of how much you've achieved'
So intrigued as I was
I followed him onto that old bridge
And across the blue lake
And approached the old door
Of that monstrous thing
towering high.
And as the man turned to step inside and out of the light
He stopped for a moment
He looked at me and said
'Don't worry my friend
things are about to get better
Oh and I forgot
The name Is Magician Pepper'
I was still in a daze
And didn't say much
But stepped inside after Mr Pepper.

Inside was different story
And again my eyes
could hardly believe what I saw
Walls of gold
floors of silver
All laced with jewels
Made up the interior
Of an old style living room
Cozy and neat
Magician Pepper announced
that he would go inform Dwell
Of my arrival
He exited the room
And he left me alone
To stumble around this paradise

'What a place'
I thought to myself
As I looked around
And counted the sights
From the shining carpet
To the amber chandelier
And as I had my back turned
Eyes fixed on that glowing red fire
That had previously
Not been seen
A noise behind me
Came shuffling through
And one deeply toned voice
Said  'I knew it was true'
I turned and there he stood
The one who I knew
Would make all ok.
He stood at the base
Of a staircase
That had not been present a moment ago.
Magician Pepper at his Side
And a small white dog by his feet
A tall man was he
With short dark hair at his sides
And Green sparkling eyes.
He was one of a kind alright
Just one look at him
Made you stop caring
made me stop caring
About irregularities
And Zeppelins
It just made me want to
Just go on
Go on and flourish.
He raised his lips
And carried on as before
And I listened right up
'I know this is a strange vision to appear
But once I heard that you were so near
I just need to stop and meet you
In the flesh
You're an interesting Man
I must confess
My name Is Dwell
Of Dwell and Co.
This is my Zeppelin
And my dog Kato
Yes, I'm so sorry
You're probably so confused
Of what exactly
It is that we do!
Well we are dream makers
The swappers  
The tradesmen of dreams
We listen to thoughts
And answer your pleas'
Now I at this time was taken aback
For what on earth did he mean
'I'm sorry'
I said
'And it's just that you
you're a dream maker?
That cannot be true'
Dwell just smiled and gestured
To come up those grand stairs.
Apparently my views were tainted
I knew they were
I had not been the same
For a while now.
Times may be strange
But maybe Dwell will help me
Hopefully.

At the top of that staircase
Was an oblong door
Hung swift with Golden bolts
Dwell swung it forwards
To reveal it's heart
The control room
The centre
Full of Buttons and knobs
and fancy machines
Stood all along
'It really does sound like a lie'
Said he
'This is but the cockpit of dreams
For what I do is
answer the screams
I travel from world to world my friend
Time to time
You must have known there's more out there
Are you not that way inclined?
With a press of this button'
And he gestured at three
'We'll zap up away
And who knows where we'll be?'
My ears were on fire
But believe him I did
'Is it all for fun?
or do you make a few quid'
Pepper really laughed now at this
And Dwell stood as he slowly unfurled
'Most people main doubt is us leaving the world.
But you seem quite eager
Quite keen to help
Seems like you're better
Than anyone else'
And I did smile at him
And I did understand

He told me all he knew
We sat there
Sat there all morning
And all I did was listen
To big tales of travelling men
And the barriers
Of trans-dimensional travel
That he Dwell had overcome
To enable his ship
To cross between worlds
And as Dwell finished
I knew what he wanted
And I started to Grin
'Please Mr Dwell, when can I move in.

I can't tell you the feeling
as Dwell pressed
one of the buttons three
We sped into the air
and were gone
Like a flash
I was unaware
of why I was so ready for it
Like an Albatross soring
above the clouds
We rose
Higher
And higher
A spinning around us
Rocked our bones
And it was then
That me
With Dwell
With Pepper
And the small dog Kato
Vanished from the sky.

I sat all around me
as the wind rose
The thick smoke of city
That filled the streets
But that was no city
I had ever seen
And As we swooped down low
I looked down
And saw the concrete metropolis
Of another world.
A worse of world than my own
For streets lined with cannons
And fire lit roads
I didn't know why
We had come to this place
'Do not fear'
Said Dwell
'This is but an echo of hell
Our destination lies
somewhere above
But what is travel without some
Things we don't love.'
And all through the day we flew and flew
With pops and bangs
And splutters and coughs
Through fields and through oceans
Past winds and villages
We swung down like a beauty
And me myself
Could feel the tap tap
From Dwell's magnificent brain
And as it grew faster
I know we would stopping soon
And sure enough
Soon we started to descend
On a small hill top above
A valley of low hung grass
And Dwell said
'This is the place'.
And I peered out at the grass
As Magician Pepper
Gestured to walking downstairs.

The hill had a light of mossy green
And all around
the wind was unchanged
As we disembarked
The sun shone so bright
Lighting up the beautiful day
Of coloured poppies
And daffodils
Of the now high up sun
In the light of maturing day
And I asked Dwell
'Why does the sun still stay so high in the sky
When worlds and nights and days have passed by?'
'Tis a strange thing indeed'
Replied he
As he he strolled through
The exquisite view
'It must be a trick
Or a practical joke'
And he gave me a wink
Before Pepper spoke
'Ah yes indeed, you see
It's just an illusion.
The sun protects good and evil
And prevents their fusion'
I did not fully understand
But what had I not
On that day.

A small wooden cottage stood
Not far away
And Dwell in his day shirt
Led us the way
Always smiling and never a frown
And I noticed all of a sudden
How happy i'd been
All day with Dwell
With these mystical friends
Alone with the nature
And hard pressed old world

The wooden door
Of the wooden hut
Stood a little ajar
And Magician Pepper
Pulled it open to show
A small frail old table
With a white table cloth
He pulled it outside
As me and Dwell watched
The sun on our necks
And grass at our feet
As Kato ran and jumped
in the field.
The table was laid
And we all sat down
And looked around
All around at the sights
Of that beautiful world
In a daze I still was
And Pepper brought out
Plates of hot and cold lunch
Meats and salads
And all things good
Hot jugs of milk
And fresh honey from bees
We sat there all day it felt
Discussing the day and our lives
And I swear
In that moment
I felt as if
Nothing could do me wrong
And I was the king
I oh so longed to be
Just to be here
Sitting with Dwell
And his team
I momentarily forgot
About the dark pit
Of my normal life
The losses I had
The dreams that I'd missed
At this time we were here
And I was king
Of this high mountain top.

And the day wondered on
And the sun started to fall
And as Dwell looked up
He almost shed a tear
As he said
'Oh such great fun we've had
On this day
But the time has indeed come
To be on our way
For the burning got sun
Is just an hourglass
And we cannot return once
It's fully passed'
So we all packed away
Our wonderful lunch
And put it all back
Into that small wooden hut
And walked all the way back
Through the now orange field
Slowly loosing light
With the progress of the dying sun.
And Pepper drove Dwell's airship
Back into the sky
And up up so high.
Before long we were back where
Soaring through worlds
Mountains and rivers
All now in the dying sun
'I do hope
you've enjoyed your day with us'
Said Dwell with a small little sigh
'It's such a shame that we must say goodbye
But we've got to keep moving and changing the world
For that is just what we do'
and it brought a tear to my
As I looked down Finally
As the sun touched
the horizon line
And I could see the lake
Where we had started.

As we landed I felt hollowed out
Hollowed out but happy
And the Bridge was there now
Pepper, Dwell and Kato
Followed me on it
And as I reached the end
Dwell took my hand
And shook it firmly in his
'What a fine day
What a lovely day
Don't worry my friend it will all be ok
For pain may hit you
And break you in two
But as long as you look up
And dream of this day
Nothing of pain
Will ever stay'
'One last question'
I said with a turn
'Anything, said Dwell'
'Your ship talks of dreams
And happiness making
But why on earth
Does it say you are tailors?'
Dwell made a laugh
and started to walk away
Pepper shook my hand
Kato gave me a bark
'Well as you know
We are the makers of dreams
The lighters of light
And stoppers of screams
It sounds so grand'
laughs old Master Dwell
'But we do fix clothes as well'
And with that
They left
And I watched as the door closed
The Zeppelin took flight
And soon was gone.
And I stared at where
It just had been
Just me
Quite alone
In the now utter darkness

and I returned up the path
Back to the grassy heap
Where the dew had now dried
I sat back down
And looked up at the moon.
I think I must have
waited up all night once more
I waited for Dwell
Even though I knew
he would not return
My day had passed
My time was up

Days passed
Then weeks
Months and years
I was a better man than
I once had been
And now every night
I stare into the sky
And think back to that day
That changed my life
And I wonder if it was real
Or just an illusion
An illusion like the lying sun
Or that Day with Dwell
And Magician Pepper
I've told the tale many times
since then
The Tale of
Dwell's infinite Paradise

Between each and every other one
We hate or love or lose
There's something quite unusual
That lives inside of you

She read it herself
With her own two eyes
A sentiment so enchanting
It made her mind turn to burst rainclouds
and swinging nooses which hung blood red
in front of her  

He wrote it himself
With his own two hands
A penned paragraph
One for each piece of heart  
He had pierced with his lips
While he played like the mockingbird
And spat his love straight onto her face

How on earth could she inhale
such pitiful praise  
whilst simultaneously
an inner monologue of
piercing cold words
Turned her heart even further to stone
She would rather die at her own sword

If it is a sin to tell a lie
Then how could her every aching flaw be etched onto the tongue of the one who is ****** to love them no matter what?
It would drive one mad

And still stuck in a smile
pretending to be proud of his
poetic prowess
she fell slowly to the kitchen floor
While he sat in the den
Still crafting her end with his pen

It was anywhere at all
hung upon a dusty roof
Immobile  
Swaying gently
Across and over
Tilt and rolled  
Stiff as board
A dusty wicker ball
Made Simple for decoration  
And it's swaying
For no reason at all
made me think
Of wondrous places
A Clear blue sea
Of Dusty desert sand
With monsters and angels
And love with no pain
Like a window to see through
That empty wicker ball
Was all but new

It
was
the
same
old
house
to
him
but once every year

Underneath
You are nothing but bones
Just
Like
Me
And on top  
The temper
The false interest
Ignorance
With That ******* Strut around,
Hold your head down and walk
With wide withered words
And Small drops
of pencil scratched compassions
On an ever expanding universe
Two drops
Is not enough
To turn a single grape  
Not enough to mask
This desire
These visions
Anything

I sat atop a wall
A wall Stiff with morning dew
And not fully awake
I just dreamt by
Glassy eyes and slouched back
With sun filling cold eyes
And What choice did I have
But to leave my eyebrows raised
Questioning the morning hour
Taking early commuters
into my mind
Flanking pedestrians
with premature gaze
And Laughing a little
Forgetting the past
but focused on That place

that place that had been overgrown
Overgrown with suburban dreams
And I myself glassy eyed
Could have been unaware  
But not that day
That day I could  try to change it
But not everything
The only thing I could change
was myself
The rest won't change
For It would go against nature
It will wither  
Dissolving into nothing

I wondered If there was a place nearby
A peaceful place to die
Not that I wanted to die
Because I didn't  
It's only that I wanted to know
I wanted to know
Be reassured
that there is somewhere safe
to do so
Well that wall felt quite safe to me
A peaceful place
I suppose
Peaceful
But poisoned with
the ***** work of man
And me being glassy eyed
I decided that disturbing it would do nothing in my favour

A boy on a red bicycle
Passed by me
Swooping down the road
he couldn't have been
more than ten
And I remember
he held a brown paper bag
From the shop up the road
And it reminded me of myself
For I had lived
for that brown paper bag
Rushing up
to that shop on Saturdays
To complete the week with a treat
And it made me cry to think about
the days end
But much more to come I knew
And I was sure that It would not be the end of happiness
Nor pain
Or just the simplicity
of Saturday mornings
And being oh so glassy eyed
I jumped down from the brick wall
And resumed my walk back home

I am up late
Past the witching hour
Where the open window is the moon
the cool breeze, my only sense of reality
There I am
Sitting in black
Eyes wide open
dusty buttons
stomach churning
In constant suspense of the morning chorus
For daytime has more fear to offer than night
The darkness only proves our worries
like demons  
Slowly rising and taking my brain apart with every second
Like a basket grinding against the walls of my heart as it brings the thoughts to safety  
Eroding my lucky mind
As I melt in the dark night  
And one blink later
I'm gone
Not to return for haunted hours

In the Darkest of months
We're heaped up with hours
Too cold to be in any way
productive
Too dark to be in any way
Instructive
These are the hours
I desire to see you at
A soft summer beam  
That will light my way
And make me stay sane
During the month of locked doors
and smoking chimney tops
it's only too easy to let the weeks
Bury you a mile deep beneath the earth
  
So guide me through November
And I promise  
I'll guide you through anything
Be it a doubt, Pause, fall, tear or just a spilled cup of tea

I'm getting into that rut again  
the same one as before
Day after day of nothing
The empty hallways full of people
One second of laughter
And then blank...
Even thinking about the wrong memories, colours me
a deep shade of melancholy blue

A strict routine of self loathing
has done me no good
And that most yellowest of adventures is over
that glint of sun I almost reached has been worse than lost
Tossed away under tidal waves of midnight ocean in a dusty glass sphere

She turned off the mist
It seemed
In the morning hour
Of a Californian day
Where the beat of cars passing
Outweighs that of
the mechanical beauty industry
Where dry cracked swimwear
Rests on Los Angeles' golden sand
And where the sun has ran away
To somewhere a lot more sane
And less powerful

She had had enough
So she collected her last tax refund
And packed her case with paper bills and not much else
Called on an old favour
from an old friend
Who drove her away
To somewhere not far
But far enough

In Oakland
The streets were unknown
And she liked that idea
Dragging herself through the day
Without stopping to think
Or admire the views
she didn't care much for beauty
Not to mention love
And was happy enough to die alone  
Which she did
She left at seventy three
Buried in a plain black coffin
With no one to wish her goodbye
Or well done for starting a life alone
  Just herself
Under the Californian brown earth
Where the sun had begrudgingly returned

A Scream came from up above
From the bell tower
It was so piercing
In my ears
Ouch
Oh no
Not my ears  

I was then required to rise from my nest
stare out the window
And watch in a mannerly fashion as a dark swooping fire engulfed
The bell tower
Oh no
I thought
Not the Bell tower
That is definitely not a good place
For fire to be
No
Not at all

Maybe I should help
To remove the fire
from the bell tower
Yes
That would be
Very helpful indeed
I would be a hero
Oh yes
That would be very nice
But I decided
That I would take the moral high ground
And went back to sleep

Those frowned upon days would leave you unaware of us
Us
I think that if it hadn't been for the hustle and bustle of Saturday you would still be blindly stumbling around me
And part of me still longs for that day
You handing me a clay bowl you had crafted specially for me
And I returning the favour by swearing the gesture would stay  in my heart forever
I still remember the feel of the hard clay on my brittle fingers
Clay of gods
The clay of the unsilenced man who climbs through the bathroom window to feast on the partially digested moonlight
That was us

I remember that day so well
eighty seven green leeks sitting on the windowsill
The ever changing planet earth
That is where Saturday and I waited
We we're both awake
Awake
But thoroughly unsatisfied
Me and my grandfather
We sat in the old field that we had finally forgiven
eating partially grown corn
Full on the cob
But we would not eat it to the core
For we were starving ourselves for evening supper
Which meant Aunty Mason's famous Shepard's pie
And the two of us sitting beside each other was enough
For me and my grandfather had an unspoken bond
We were each other

These were the days, might I add
Before spaceships and the commercialised automobile
When a lazy Saturday would be enough to fill our hearts with bliss
And keep us going through the week
Enough to last the millennium
And Each single drop of ale we drank that day
Would echo through our bodies that night
And I would still cry
About love dismissed from myself
Which was, of course
No big deal to the watching eye
Not even a speck of light on a foggy night
And They say to us that remaining sane is like elephant tusks
Fierce and piercing
we would cling to that idea like nothing else mattered
And To be with you
Recreating old memories
Not thinking of meanings
Meant the world to me

And there I was with my grandfather
But years ahead he had died
And I had replaced him with those good memories in that corn field
I wish the same could be said for others
The ones who I had sworn not to mention again
Is it me creating this barrier?
Is it the same one as you made with that clay bowl that day?
Am I a mongrel, bison or bear?
A monster or a demon?
To shred up those memories
Those seven neatly wrapped parcels you sent to my office in London
Each containing another clay bowl
That was enough
That was enough
Being back in your loop was too much of a sin
An attempt to pierce my own armour
Which I had sworn on the overcast morning of my grandfather's funeral
I would avoid doing at all costs

And You were done and over
The pinnacle of my sad memories
How could I even think to look back?
And I was older now
At least to you I was
Then there was that strange third fold
The thought that you were still following my adventures
I began to think that another day alive
Would be enough to confuse you
To lead you away
But each stigma you had wrote was still attached to me
Weighing me down
I began to loose the desire to leave where I was

To the rest of them I was still nobody
A manager of head office
with lots of clay bowls on his desk
Not somebody to love
Love was for people who tried
I had given up trying years ago
In a bar in New York
under red coloured lights
Have I asked myself why?
Of course I have
But with each answer
forty one more question are born
God was playing a practical joke on me
And with the end result
The close of this chronicle
Ended me
For my last bud had blown
And my last hair had turned white
Yes
That was me, all in all