Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
!
Spicy Digits Nov 2
!
I'm your pilot
Self appointed.
Inexperienced
Brazen and stupid.
Flying solo here.
I can only trust myself.
Brace yourselves
I'm not responsible
If something goes wrong
Things happen all the time.
I'm your pilot.
People know of me
They write of me
Books and classrooms
faultless and brave
Chin up, baby!
I'm your pilot,
You're welcome.
Spicy Digits Jan 29
For gods' sake,
Life, meet Weird.
Weird is your breath
And Weird your legacy.
Alas, You can't be alive
If You don't let Weird free.
Spicy Digits Feb 2020
Hello Universe
Dazzling, spinning being
Thank you for my moth-eaten meat suit
For the genes and the jeans and the eyes
..........
I have a favour to ask
-if you could kindly cease your heavenly drumming momentarily-
I hear you say 'love your enemies'
But I have this one that won't desist.
.........
Lend me a cup of self compassion
Oh neutrino dios mi amigo
Nay, a silo full of listening ears
For this my most beloved enemy.
Spicy Digits Apr 2020
Sleep so sweet
Feet warm
Breathe
Deep from need
So close to the Earth
The sea
Until tomorrow
Sleep so sweet
Spicy Digits Jan 2019
I climbed giant boulders
to gather wild berries for you
A heavenly golden lake stretched
across your vision.

Unfazed by my generous offering
Oblivious to the dragonfly hovering
You drowned yourself in screen-time, buffering
I waded out alone.

I picture wrapping my legs around you
the air full of scents of homely comfort
a long day lightened with sweet laughter
our minds rest, immersed in fictional realms

But online games take away our nights
Political trivialities and football highlights
I sit and dream of smoldering fires on campsites
While you fall asleep alone.

In darkness I wrestle with the devil
for my piece of present moment, untainted
I beg for black viscous sleep to drown me
to wake without feeling half of me is gone

And you wrap me in the soft fabric of your skin
And you chase away the sprites to let the light in
And you breathe for my lungs as the attack glows dim
And it's just you and me alone.
No relationship is perfect, but be with the one who will sit with you in your darkness.
Spicy Digits Feb 2021
I made myself so.
So small
For so long
So talk over me,
I won't mind,
I made myself so.

So quieten me,
If it's what you need.
A speechless soul,
I silenced myself so.

Daddy didn't see you
So take your aim
Argue and I will cower.
I taught myself so.

Spread corrosive untruth,
Use me and chew me out,
I oppressed myself so.

I see the end light,
And imminent reprieve.
So do what you like,
I'll make myself so.

I unpeeled my skin
And started again
I lost you and them
And started again.

I made myself so.
Spicy Digits May 2019
I look back on them at times
And grimace at almost all of the rhymes
How dark and sinister, how lonely
Depression makes them feel boney
Jutting out like broken ribs
Each one their own screaming little kid
More funny poems please.

I need ones that say "I'm alive!"
I thrive, I survived and now baby I jive!
Moustache ready, bowler hat steady
Dancing in the fire with only my oven mitt
Baby I'm here and I'm ready to do it.
Climb that wall with all your jiggly bits.

Put away all that dark matter mystique,
Replace with crowd flashers and photocopied cheeks.

I just want my brain to bleed comical
***** historical anecdotal gold
Wax lyrical till my eyeballs bulge.
Just more funny poems please.
Spicy Digits Feb 2020
Any other soul
In their body so alone
Unafraid
In awe of the unknown
No age
No race
No gender
No home
Spicy Digits Nov 2020
Fading apricot sky
Paints the wet sand
The sharpest silver
and romantic mauve.

Angry incoming waves
Turn to lace agate
For a perfect moment
Only to return again.

A sooty oystercatcher
Warbles
Always keeping
one eye on me.
It is, after all,
his littoral arcadia.

Sea mist coats my skin
Speckled sand whips at my skin
Claggy dread claws at my skin
While I write
And write
And write.
Spicy Digits Apr 2021
I've sang for you
Danced for you
Bled for you
Bowed and curtsied
Dogged and *****
I've fought for you
I've won countless times
Ribbons and plaques
Handshakes in the dark

The game continues to play now
in my head
for you
Spicy Digits Feb 2020
Doona, oh doona
stop teasing me you meaty pillow
waiting impatiently in my room-a

I've had a long day
my feet have turned to clay
And I just want to climb inside
your soft womb-a

Whether at my feet on summer nights
Or mornings frosted, dark and wintery
All else is stale, mediocre cloth
You're always the doona for me.

Doona, oh sweet, sweet doona
Hug me under the light of the moon-a
Don't ****** me from afar
Spread-eagled in my room-a.
Spicy Digits Dec 2020
Spiritualis void,
Damp and mouldy.
Every day.
Every night.
Level 1,
Till kingdom come.

Corn syrup comfort,
Damp and mouldy.
Every week.
Every month.
Beating, barely,
Lady in waiting.

Fractal faces,
Damp and mouldy.
Smile through glass,
Every year.
Every lifetime.
A standard sod,
New wheel.

Ripped soul,
Damp and mouldy.
Thirsty,
Every you.
Every them.
Dopamine slide.
Up the dose,
Up the dose,
Up the dose.
Spicy Digits Jun 4
Too much
For too long

Hurricane head winds
Head strong.

There's a socket
Unlit fuse

Movement's a'brewing
Missing a muse

I am hated
I am confusing
I am confused
But still refusing.

Too much
For how long?
Spicy Digits Apr 2019
They want to slice me neatly
and pack me into tupperware containers
They want to keep me locked in storage
till I expire

I want to angrily hip-****** to a love ballad
atop the communal lunch table
breaking into song whenever it moves me
till I perspire

They want to grind me down like cinnamon
maybe sweet or savoury but never both,
They want to snort me like a politician
till I disappear

I want to take a baseball bat to parked cars
and disappoint my 2nd grade teacher
I want to wear a sequined cape every day
of every year

They want to dress me in little triangles
and chain me to sullen girls in leather
They want to take lots of fleshy photos
till I matter

I want to paint cemeteries in yellow
and play thumb wars in the nursing home
I want to shave my hair and make it my wig
until I'm even madder
Self acceptance #liberation #freedom #weirdness #self #free
Spicy Digits Oct 2023
No-one tells you how big a wall
there is to climb
To demolish
the rotting family home,
Where they fearfully remain.

To them you are the wolf.
Always.
Spicy Digits Nov 2020
I don't want to write for you,

But for me.

I don't want to dance for them,

It's my body.

I'm always afraid of mediocrity,

but I lock myself away.

So here I am on the couch,

grade B Socrates.

I don't want to impress them

I just want to stay

In the formless world I curated,

existing my way.
#life #reflection #introvert #authenticity #innerworld #reading
Spicy Digits Feb 2020
Today is the time for me

This breath is alive

The air is mine

My lungs are the trees

This day is mine

They gave it to me.
Spicy Digits Jun 2020
I learned in those years
That intensity was a sin
And sensitivity was the mark
Of an emotional wreck.
A girl in touch with
Her wild wild feminity
Is to scorn, to control
And wrap in tissue paper
Gingerly placed in the corner
Of the top drawer.

I am day by day
Unwrapping slowly, thank God.
Spicy Digits Jun 2020
I am exquisite
Even when I am so delicate.
I am magnificently sensitive
And intricate.
Oh yes I am wonderful
Intensely tired, still passionate.
I am lovely in my complexity,
And eternally affectionate.
See how dewy beautiful
I look in your straightjacket.

I am excellent, I am worthy
Even when I cannot move.

Am I deceitful like your book?
Far from it.
I am a piercing blue wildflower
Beaten upon by heavy rain.
I am the eponymous hero of this novel.
Spicy Digits Jul 2020
Swollen eyes,
These headaches
Tell me to stay present
Do not fear
We're one and the same
The pulse of each vein.
This noise
These sounds
Are not like the others.
Sweet syrup,
And warm embrace
Drown out the buzzers.
This music,
The sky,
Breathe in the filtered light
Just breathe.
Spicy Digits Sep 2020
"I already matter,
I already matter"
What she whispered to me
Low frequency,
And,
Gently removing the zip ties of my youth,
Sang Rocket Man just under her breath
To no-one in particular.

"I already matter"
That slap-in-the-face truth
Words impossible to unpick from my teeth.
But right there,
She just breathed into being
A delectable bite-sized epiphany
For only my ears.

"I already matter"
A song of logic with such obviousness
The gods synchronized their eye-rolls
In response
Yet somehow we ****** up the lyrics
-they're passed down, that's why-
From wars, and hate and Ashmedai.

"I already matter,
I already matter"
She's here again...
And I think it's going to be a long long time
Till touchdown brings me 'round again to find...
Spicy Digits Oct 2023
I could be your darkness manifest
And the first tidal wave.

If you mock my peace
I will, with mastery,  
Strip sinew after sinew.

But bare me your honest wounds
And I will create a universe
From my lips,
And from my hips.

I was born into dogma
And raised in decay
I leapt at death to save me
But caught my body just in time
To see myself divine.
#beauty #nature #human #alive #life #acceptance #intensity #sensitivity #power
Spicy Digits Jan 19
I was born into dogma
And raised in decay

I leapt at death to save me
But caught my body just in time
To see myself divine.
Spicy Digits Jan 30
Wonder, our little boy
Saw it unfold and leaned in.

The story was a concave husk,
Dried of juice and void of vein
Until our boy Wonder intervened
Lifted up a Life dry-cleaned
And christened it Supreme.
Spicy Digits Dec 2018
Compete never

Never worth that fight

Fight only for innocence

Innocence runs through you

You are alive

Alive, but not awake

Awake the dormant innocence

Innocence that runs through you

You fight only to compete

Compete never
Spicy Digits Sep 4
Don't force it
Don't force it

Slow

Don't you realise?
Don't you realise?

Time is a sweet perfume
Dressed as a murderer
Spicy Digits Oct 9
I will love you forever,
You are part of my soul.
The words of our wounds
No longer take space.
I hope we meet there,
Embracing and ecstatic.
I just need you to know
I always saw you.
I will love you forever
Sensitive one.
Spicy Digits Feb 2020
She said I can't tell
If you're really clever
Or just clinically unwell
I touched her shoulder
With my sequined glove
And told her, ma'am
these are not
mutually exclusive
Spicy Digits Feb 2020
Get it, pull it, pull!
Till your arms are but sweat
Rip it from my ears, sir
Tear it from my skin
Better yet
**** like the ill-advised man
Saving kin from snake
Then lay me in a bath of it
And watch my body shake
Attach yourself, hurl son
Use all you can reach
To yank sinew from bone
And until all disarticulates
Make it happen
Do me that dreaded favour
Equip yourself with courage
And hard and fast throw pavers
Get it, pull it, pull!
Exorcise my non-weirdness
Punch and kick it out my friend
Squeeze the boredom from me
Fire up
Fire up
Fire up
Watch this witch awake
Spicy Digits Feb 2020
I must be a wombat
I must be a sloth
What if I'm a deformed toad?
What if I'm a lost moth?
Could be a panicked bunny
An uninitiated kangaroo
It's possible I'm a crustacean
Escaped from atop a barbeque
Whatever my face, whatever my fate
And whichever strengths bestowed
I wish it wasn't so **** hard
To cross the ******* road.
#world #animals #life #live #cross #fate #funny #frustration
Spicy Digits Dec 2018
Amidst the humidity and darkness of the forest floor
ants scurry in hyper-speed over invisible highways
mushrooms spread boldly beneath wise wooden giants

At night, black panthers weave through thick overgrowth,
undetected, as birds quieten their hungry young and sleep
But even in the rich darkness of the dense forest
micro flashes of silken pink and yellow cream can be seen
catching the moon's light, glowing like precious gems

By day these colours dim in their translucent chambers
atop the world's most beautiful, fearless caterpillar

This tiny being boldly ventures from one leaf to another
while all others cower underneath
Its crystal spikes hide only soft, sticky goo
and it is no bigger than a fingernail

But don't be fooled by its size and raw beauty,
this bejeweled crown easily summons its strength
to move faster than the angry west winds

Its beauty comes not only from its form
but in its lion-hearted spirit and grace

This confident caterpillar lives
and surrenders to change
without the leaden shackles of fear and worry

and when the time comes
she embraces
and is transformed again
to something new.
Spicy Digits Aug 2021
I want to touch your base,
I want to touch base.
Now we're gonna circle back
To our circle ****.
Feel the warmth of my regards
Deep in your archive folders.
Savour the tingling of my best wishes,
Between your table of contents.
I want to touch your base,
I want to touch base.
Spicy Digits Jan 31
I have seen the hurricane

I have caused the avalanche

the firestorm met me where
I lay in bed at night

I want you to see my alabaster skin
And Pan Am smile

I want to show you my matted fur
and smoking breath

I want you to ask me why I'm angry.
Spicy Digits Feb 2019
A melting candle
Aflame inside
A stolen gloss.

Simmering
Slowly withering
Flickering
Up towards the violet heavens
And vacuous reaches.

Made of magic
And fiery breath.

A fallacy
And perhaps delusion
Or intrusion
Of black thoughts

Nocturnal bickerings
Whispered whimpering.

A question left unanswered
A burn so exquisite.
Spicy Digits Jun 20
Sweet soul
Yesterday's gone.
There's fields ahead
Baby, stretch your legs.
This bright face
This tender heart.
Keep close the sun
Keep their words apart.
Spicy Digits Jan 2020
When grief knocks sheepishly but persistently
When anger kicks at my ear drums
When fear hugs me closely, a little too tightly
When I talk to those who formed my inner voices
When thoughts crowd out my breathing
When souls weep over their losses
When sleep backs down after it's fight with stress

When delicate petals and sprouts brave the weather valiantly
When big blue eyes smile back up at me
When rains soak and nourish and my bed beckons
When innocent discussions bond hearts
When he holds my hand while half asleep
When the blissful aroma and taste of hot tea fills my senses
When the cleansing ocean spray makes my skin come alive
When soft music puts my tired mind to sleep like a baby
Spicy Digits Mar 4
My voice is not sick.
My heart does not lack charge
And my fingers rest beautifully.

My wires are impeccably engineered.
My brain is alight with knowing
And my belly, understanding.

Tell me, what does yours say?
Does it lie to you?

Our voices are not sick
Our words are not misguided.
We simply know you well,
And suffer for it.
Spicy Digits Apr 2
The system robbed my father
Of his soul
And silenced my mother
Of her will

They are two young leaves
Glabrous and magnificent
Spinning atop a torrent.

Unaware of their power,
And stubborn in their fear,
They placed a finger on my lips
And never took it off.
Spicy Digits Dec 2018
Wrapped in a pink cotton blanket,
Warmed and fed, alive
A storm rises in my mind,
a scene of deep forest, a child.

Hidden amongst shoes,
Marbles and a flashlight,
Dancing in space and in orbit,
A lone soul in its element.

Blank face and sullen eyes,  
A sponge to emotion and to fear
Every week another era,
Tempestuous ebb and flow, tears.

She rides her bike, dreaming away
Another rat in a rusty wheel
Looking for solace, peace and purpose,
Something solid and something real.

Undulating waves and frantic logic
Depths of darkness and wells of joy
Inability to fit the mold,
Painful transparency and unsatisfying toys.

Now she's melting into the song of the violin
The tiptoe of piano
The urgency of symphony
The strength of the drum solo.

The feminine, the masculine
The old and young, near and far
She is all in all,  
A cascading waterfall
A torrent
A body no more.
The yelling, the words, the fighting...they all become white noise as she lunges into the safety and sweetness of her imagination
Spicy Digits Dec 2018
Put down the pizza
Put down your phone
You're now in Pisa
You're now in Rome

Blink once,  blink twice
Use your imagination
Secret agent in disguise
In Grand Central Station

You don't need to drink
To pretend you're free
Take your coat of mink
And ruminate with Dali

Put down your pen
Put down your fears
You are a hundred unique women
Separated only by years
Spicy Digits Sep 2023
What right do you have to lie there so beautiful,
So far away?

I am bathed in the shadow of your gaze as I write this,
And trying to follow the map of grief drawn, to meet you.

Transport me, my glimmer, to your dissociative place.
We'll sit there in silence.
#love #glimmer #innersanctum
Spicy Digits May 2020
If I could soar at will,
Less escape, more exploration, until
I found an ocean too wide
Or a glacial peak about to cleave

If I could rise and trace the topography
Like fingertips over worn leather
Inhaling scents of all our lives
And ride in the slipstream of an eagles' feather

If I could,
If I could just

Be weightless within the heart of the stratus
Tip toe over the bristle of a giant spruce
High-five a handsome window washer
Or soak up the light of a meadow chartreuse
Spicy Digits Oct 2023
White notions of superiority
Blessed under white lights
Souls sold
Between punched holes
Ring binders brim-full
***** overfills
Scripted words
Meals of rotten platitudes.

Here is my grateful smile
Here is my pleated skirt
Here is my servitude
#work #equality #life #society
Spicy Digits Dec 2018
Where oh where
could my little sense of humour
have gone?

Oh where oh where
could it beeee?

Last time I saw it wandering
trying to find a big enough bin
to put my emotional baggage in

Lost among traumatic memories
It didn't enjoy my therapies
Dampened by big pharma remedies

Sedated, it traveled slowly but far
and despite its growing number of scars
Still searched for truth in the bizarre

I've been finding pieces among the trash
Funnier jokes asking to be rehashed
Of times of freedom, a big ol' stash

Where oh where
could my little sense of humour
have gone?

Oh where oh where
could it beeee?

Finally, happy to see me, we embraced all night
I laughed till I cried at it's clever insight
And now humour and I write
Depression and the healing power of humour
Spicy Digits Dec 2020
Harken unto thee all ye cubicled rats
Furrowed brows
And mortgage rows
A cocktail of sneezes, wheezes and white lights

Leave me the soil under my fingernails
The monsoon and the snakes,
Heavy lifting, creature coexisting

Just spare me from the circle-backs
And obituary emails.
The stale air, ergonomic chair.

Hallowed be the slow mornings
Birdsong breaking the dawn
A soul full of tea
Softly resting chin on knee

Save us from the flood of empty words
Of formality and forced smiles
The glorification of busy

Crumble the ancient hierarchy

Let us wander home.
Spicy Digits Aug 2021
Loosen your

Chains,
Brains,
*****,

Your vowels
And your bowels
Spicy Digits Feb 7
She is the witch they burned 

The compassion they purged

The expert they scoffed

The healer they refused

The lover they daily used 

The dark night pathologised

The divine objectified 

The artist they buried

The joke they stole

The house they made smaller 

The teacher they silenced

And the outlet of their violence.
Spicy Digits Oct 9
You say there's nothing beyond,
Yet worlds exist behind my eyes
After light.

Dimensions upon dimensions
Tesseract of memories.
Warring ink on a frigid page,
Hierarchies upon hierarchies.

I watch the fear dripping
From the corner of your mouth,
So I lie.

Big eyes brim with tears, but you
Lovingly devote to your pain,
So I wait.
Spicy Digits Apr 11
There are days I merely exist.

I breathe, I beat
I eat.

The whir of passing cars
Is all I hear.

Those days I play no role.

My hands are empty of purpose,
My thoughts sleep.

My body is neutral
Neither beautiful nor wrong.

I am nothing,
Yet something.

It is messily forced upon me
To shut up and watch.

I gaze out and over life.
It stares back,
Consuming me.
Spicy Digits Dec 2018
You are my lover
My only lover
Whom the world
Shows its colour
And when you need
A tasty other
I am yours to smother

You are my well-girthed king
My only king
Hotter than a thermal spring
Pull on my apron string
Undress me
And impress me
****** me with your violin

Play me like a pan flute
My lover, my brute
Stroke my ego
My resolve is dilute
And you, my broken parachute
Will be my demise
Next page