The warmth of its glow slowly follows
Sleepy birds start their wondrous chirps
The sweet morning rises with clean fresh water
Morning with this sunrise shall
become a day of pure bliss

Don’t dwell in the past
Or life will never seem to last
Live for today, die some other day
Life will not have meaning if you cannot move on

Follow the path of your heart
Don’t bother to leave that part
Only truth will uncover lies
So, better yet- don’t say goodbye

Try not to drown in the pain
Forgiving might wash it away in rain
Only time will whisper what occurs next

The past is over, and future’s growth remains in its grain.

Live for today and don’t worry about tomorrow
The next sunset or sunrise, just might never come
Don’t even bother with all that sorrow
Just don’t let your tears burn

Spend your time on earth the best it can be!
Give your care to everyone, so it won’t fade
Try to smile, just for me.
The warmth of your heart will destroy the dark shade

Don’t let your family dissipate, far away
Your life is needed for all
You need them more and more each day
I won’t let you fall

So breathe your last breath, let me be.
So, in another life,
We can be FREE.

The look of disappointment in your eyes,
Watch as the time goes on; bye.
The shedding of tears, feeling of fears
The misery of broken hope, begging to find a method to cope.

You may try to place the blame,
Walls crash, unhidden shame
The rain cries, as my heart slowly dies
Internally torn from the thinking in my mind
There isn’t a thing to find.

All that is left is one’s sorrow
What more could one even borrow?
Drown in blood, nothing for it to flood

Only seen as a simple tool.
Guess this would mean I am the lonely fool
Don’t come my way.
Don’t dare to stay.
The last part of hell, fell.
You never leave me be, in fact;
You only used me.

Drowning in old sorrow
Yet ignoring the extended hands
Utterly selfish to dare expose vulnerability
A deep rooted want to become a-
part of the bleak sky
But, truthfully known the earth-
would be a final resting place

Why does one chose the walkway-
that caresses a personal netherworld?
Each portion of forced effort falls short
Especially in the eyes of the inner perfectionist
My closest friend is a crippling emotion
It sends consistent reminders-
in my dreams-
of my broken
aspirations.

Nightmares are a lingering-
background in my head
Why must detest my own blood?
For it is brimming with the corruption of loathing.
The engraved disappointment-
I grew to be-
Is even repulsed
by the soul within.

*Plaster a grin
and keep it all in.

Confusion stems from infatuation
Depression spills over happiness sometimes
Ponder over said events
Why am I so disconsolate?

A chill makes one tremble and my hand refuses to write
Should one put up a fight?
This being is aching
From within breaking
Emotional bonds-block all?
Let everything fall.
This pitch black crippled the good in me.
Can't you see?

Too consumed in tears, shrieking and bleeding
The ones who surround vanish from sight
Life is a gift-I cannot obtain
Pain is the punishment I gain

Even the strongest of skin
Will weaken in time
Wasting this breathe--
Surviving alone.
Why is it so easy to destroy?
But so difficult to repair?
I seem to simply repeat the same idiotic mistake
Suppress the inner conflict
Hide the pain in me
So, I can pretend it doesn't phase me
Since I don't know what love is.

Silently screaming
Trying not to give in
To the dark pessimistic thoughts
And you simply laugh
Thinking everything of me
As the ultimate joke
Funny how you're the one crying now

(Chorus)
Falling, falling
Crumbling ever so slowly
Eyes barely open
Yet still can see
Through the lies
Attempt to block it all
Only to absorb the hate
And lose again

Just the sand
Of the sea
Doesn't matter to me
Nor does the little voice inside
I should let you know
My mind's innocence
was robbed from me

(Chorus)

Thought love could conquer all
But even that dream was false
It used to mean the world to me
To take the pain away
Away from the something
I didn't understand

(Chorus)

Silently screaming
It doesn't matter
This used to mean the world to me
But I already knew
I can't even save myself now.

Never thought this would be like this
These days only repeat
Like the waves of the ocean
Tired of all the glaring stares
That dare reflect my inner hate
And outer pain

(Chorus)
I can't get away
Even if I run away
What's chasing me
Can't be seen
Truth has been tossed away
Not meant to stay
But there are no means of escape
Because it is what I earn and deserve

Disagree silently
You killed my proof
Does it even make a difference to try?
This secret I kept locked away for so long
I should have never let you in
Too exposed to hold any protection

(Chorus)

Let the flame go...
(I can't get away)
Let the flame go...
(Never thought it would be this way)
Let the flame go...
(Even if I run away)
Let the flame go...
(I am not meant to stay)

Let the flame go out.

Chew the bones
Of a black vessel
Painted externally red
To expose skeletons of the shrouded past
A tidal wave of pretending-
Bellows in the lack of a proper foundation
An inaudible completion to a chapter that dragged itself out excessively
Paper thin rope erodes in the presence of mist
Clawing for a cure to mend an abomination of a thought process
Burn the shards of bone
Of an astray vessel
Splattered blue for release

I look through the window and saw nothing
What I used to see was the world as it was, free.
The bleeding of the heart, wanting..desiring.
Through the horrid abuse-screams and confusion echoed.
Left standing defenseless, shadows choked me 'till I was senseless.
Lied to self, preaching that I was strong, but it fact I was wrong.
My insecure reflection shows the pecking tension
Rage is no longer bound in a cage.
Vengeance-in a sea of despair, awoken
Forever broken
Delicate ceramic figurines shattered, blood is splattered.
Dimming of glee, waltz into the darkness
Here's your token into the window,
whom's frame remains cracked and unmendable

The darkness, as well as the drying roses

The quiet and sad moaning,

of people and lost souls

Fresh graveyard dirt and the fading scent of lilies.

Salty tears, as they cascade down faces

The heart aches and throbs.

I no longer feel whole,

for I am hollow

Pleading-but emotions dry and crumble

The path I once chased vanished from sight

Affection is viewed as a bothersome nuisance

They all turned and walked away.

I stood there rooted to the spot.

Shock numbed my body permanently.

I have been shunned.

Were they consumed by hate?

Memories of hope rewrote themselves as moments of brokenness.

The ones loved-

Faded and I've been

externally ERASED.

Well, little sis-I need to let you know
Life isn't a simple open doorway
There's its up and downs,
Painful stings,
Emotional roller coaster,
And Harsh lessons
But this entire time-
I've been attempting to follow my heart
Clutching to my dreams
Doing what I thought was right
Not being dictated by someone else's words
Even when the bleakness pulled in.

So, little sis, don't give up
Your dream-filled goals
Don't just sit there and wait!
Because it will not get any easier
Don't you look back now
Don't follow me-
Please ride on your own path
I'm still here,
No one is going to push you down.
Life isn't an open books
So open it with your own strength.

You can be alone in a crowded room

For people do not care

No hand in hand

Only in lust and greed

No small tender touch

Or a whisper of encouragement

Society is held in cold structure

Under all the fake smiles

Just beneath the skin

Is the real nature

My nemesis is clueless for once

Trying to be patronizing? Ha.

You aren't strong, in fact

You've always been wrong.

Quit trying to hide the fact that-

You're an abomination.

Sunlight bleeds through my darkness

Yet, it seems paradoxes repel

Potential for an ugly, pestilential end.

We both are nostalgic,

but this won't be charming

Say goodbye, pay the price.

Sacrifice that heart of ice.

Absent-minded due to an unfortunate start

Forfeit, because eventually...

the gate will close

A sullen light will guide me,

but ultimately destroy you.

It doesn't matter if I'm down
This time I won't turn around
Stop calling my name
A simple smile doesn't count
'Cause it's all a lie

(chorus)
Look inside, inside of me
I want to believe
But I fear each step I make,
Will only be another mistake
This is what I hold inside of me

Funny how the dearest of things
Are the easiest to lose
You're always there
To scream at me
Nothing is to be kept
Old trees are swaying
But, don't lean on me

(chorus)

Underneath this skin
Is something you'll
never see.

(chorus)
Look inside, inside of me
I want to believe
But I fear each step I make,
Will only be another mistake
This is what I hold inside of me

This is what I hold...
inside of me.

Lives forever
Open to everyone
Valued honestly
E**veryone can!

Ticking of a forgotten clock

Broken mirror, and dusty old books-

Clutter the lifeless room

Scent of fading and falling rain;

wet the dry empty land

Touch, a shattered dream,

feel nothing now.

I am a lost memoir...

Broken wings, oh broken wings
Sadness inside a heart,
has no dreams

Nightmares seem like an endless lullaby
Drifting thought try to make themselves clear
The exit to the light
is blocked by darkness
Blame enjoys the shame it brings
Hope fades as the sun sets quietly

(Chorus)
Broken wings, oh broken wings
Sadness inside a heart
has no dreams

Can they really be mended?
Do you really have a chance in this world?

Wounds reopen
Fear freezes over the world
Slashed with the sword of hate?
Why should I bother to wait?
My perception of time-
fails me.
Silent tears fall
No will to interact

(Chorus)
Broken wings, oh broken wings
Sadness inside a heart
has no dreams*

Can they really be mended?
Do you really have a chance in this world?

Everything is wrong.
In fact, it's all gone.
The injured little butterfly
tries to take flight
but it can't because
of its broken wings...

Sadness inside a heart has no dreams (2X)

Poison bleeds through me
I no longer sense your presence.
Time slips away, how does one heal?
Within my mind, I forfeit.

Wrong and right blur-
between the lines
The signs of coldness are recognized.

Blinded by lies,
the heart is now engraved in regret.

Committed sins bang at the door.
Face them alone.
For the soul has been sacrificed for silence.

None of you ever cared.
Dreams were shattered,
and love was forever ERASED.

My stomach is full of sorrow

but my heart is void of warmth

A selfish coward who yearns,

for the ending of existence.

Candlelight flickers in the eyes,

but the spark is unseen.

To realize pain, I walk in the rain
My hidden tears, flow in many rows
I despise these emotions I face
If only, I could contain them in a case
Love is beyond my own reach
No one hears my feeble screech
This internal struggle won't work out,
I know this well
I ring this bell to say "farewell".

I gaze at the twinkling stars
and ponder lightly if I could collect them in glass jars?
Too bad this mind is within bars.
If I am to be in torment
Surely, this is meant to be.

The mirror's light will never awaken.
Might as well keep breaking
Agony trickles down my being
Why can't I stop bleeding?!

As I feared, darkness blinds me
The light has faded away,
if only I could see
Why didn't I stay?!
Now, I'm honestly at bay...

Why couldn't I be wrong?
I wonder...How long have I been gone?
Is this my hell...?
Why...do I hear a bell?

Alas, I remember now-
I'm one of death's members...
Tainted in...bright red,
I say I must have bled.
Time keeps silently still,
but I only feel miserable and ill.
I'm in another world,
the Netherworld.

I'm forever cursed-
as one who is simply DEAD.

Is it over?
This time
Don't smash this to the ground
There won't be a sound
Things can change,
in a matter of seconds
You're lost in front of me

(chorus)
This isn't love
An emotion, a choice
There is a final voice
Stuck in this moment
Left with a sad smile
You pretend you know how to feel
This isn't love

Push on and on
This time
Is it that simple,
to step forward?
I'd rather walk away
There isn't a connection left
You're lost in front of me

(chorus)

I wasted myself-
thinking of you
Fake yourself away
Nothing to hide behind
All love is forgiving
Your hate rots this core
You're lost in front of me

(chorus)

I'd rather walk away

This isn't love... (2x)

Was I aware of it at first?
The heavy baggage that it carried..?
Feeling of exile, its sinister smile glaring; mocking me so
A disruption of my tranquilly-
Catastrophic ghosts concealed their true demeanor
Not one word of concern ever wept my little way

An interval of time permitted itself to be of un-importance
Immune to flaws-
Yet imperfection quivered in its path
Bewildering at it was, I never did notice its power; its strength

In its pity and sorrow, I was caged
Wandered around aimlessly, only to crash constantly
Refuse to understand; deny all its signs
I believed that I was formidable, courageous-
but it was only a **TORTUROUS MASK of ONE

Time for those wounds to mend
Where is all that fear-hiding?
Let the time be, and for it to bend
Why must we be in a massive quarrel?
She started to flee;
We began to run
Why oh why must it be after me?
Fate himself released a gun

The path itself unfolded
To the dismay of our human hearts
The knots of life once again, reholded
What has erased those starts?

Unexpected happenings in the light
Now is best to face life,
and take our last flight.

Here I think to myself

What has happened in this short amount of time apart?

Your clement smile lights up the room in my head

Drifting and floating away from one another,

What is there to chase?

Loyalty of the heart is slowly tucked away

False favorable mechanics of what it once was

Chances are truly fatal.

We all seem to disintegrate.

Hesitating laughs, and depressing fatigue comes over

What can I possibly accomplish if--

I can't comprehend all of this?!

All we appear to do is distrust one another.

I only feel our friendship sink even further away...

Walls crash,
an insecure reflection.
Un-hiden shame-
Trip first into the ground

A dismantled core.
Standing for what we think we know

Is it a game?
All you've understood is betrayal
Slowly stop noticing the way pain,
poisons the insides.

A step forward

detaches the past

The sun will shine.
I just hope light will be mine.

I pushed everyone away
'Cause I didn't want to stay
This can't be the only thing left

Inside of me
I failed myself
Feeding the negative thoughts,
with harsh put downs.

Trusted lies, because facing the truth,
desires bold courage
I tire of being stepped on-
However wanting no existence,
is the same as labeling one's self,
as a doormat.
Just because  you aren't alone-
does not mean you can't feel lonely

I'm used to everything being thrown back at me.
Who are you to point the blaming finger?
I now know full fault does not lie solely with me.

Coursing through are strange pangs.
Stating that not all can be closed-
without effort and inner will.

Fire in the sky-
Lights up the dark moon
Take this hand-
and be sure to
let go
Push to the edge
of disaster
Grip to a final
and feeble
string of hope.

How should I go?
Will I crash and fall?
Left with nothing, but it all
Let this pain grow

What should I do?
Blood on the walls
Slowly-the creature, it crawls
Somehow, he knew
Your heart has betrayed
Gradually, he lost his mind
Softly, I lost what was inside
My soul has been erased

(Chorus)
How should I go?
Will I crash and fall
Left with nothing, but it all
Let this pain grow

What would you say?
Lies all remain
Crying with the rain
Slowly pass away

How can you stay?
You don't even care
How much more to bare?
It never was okay...

What else did you cloud?
Where is your way down?
How should I find the sun?
Will I crash and fall?
Which way will you run?
Tuck away your call

(Chorus)

I've said my goodbyes
Now let's lay here-
with our lies.

The person I once was, I could no longer recognize.
Doses of rising burns never seem to envelope within.
Stupidity took hold, oh what a sad pity.
I took authority of all the forgotten mistakes.
The memories stirring within tension.
Reacting, consuming of all fears.
Failure. Insanity in mind-I thought I left behind.
Confusion rapidly defeated me.
My soul is bleeding, binding me utterly faithless.
Why must I feel this pain?
I rather cry to the acid rain.
All shunned me, I was casted aside.
I forfeited myself, somehow I realized-
I was sacrificed.

A wound reopens when you least expect it
Be it through running
Being clumsy
Or though repeating a simple mistake
Should my lack of intelligence
Be a punishable crime?
Was my trusting nature just not meant for existing?
I realize through your glazed stare
You lack remorse.
Being alone was a terrifying choice,
Perhaps I should have harden the shell.
The shell has far to many cracks that fail to mend properly.
Deformity should be eradicated

I can't stand this reflection
Because I'm reminded of all the tension
I could barely breathe,
when I saw my soul leave

Bones rattled in loneliness
I became defenseless,
while you were rageful and senseless
You relished in my fears
and the dejectedness of my tears

I was your enemy,
and eventually we learned
My heart innocently yearned,
but instead your hate intensely BURNED

I should have found it shocking,
when I found out you were lying
Your grin exposed it all
You were going to make me fall

I simply waited-even as you slashed me
I craved to be free
Inside, all my depression-spilled out in screams and tears
For a second, your eyes reflected fears

You left me, clinging to life and bleeding...
Was your heart still human-and beating...?

I allowed myself to be merely defeated by you.

As I stood in shock.

The realization smacked me across the face.

They couldn't see who I was,

Only the plastic smile I pasted.

Forgotten, like a broken shadow.

Can't you turn away?
A glassy gaze filled the eyes
Venom was directed
Underneath simple lies

You would have seen,
but mis-believe
and be deceived

For just a minute,
every ounce of sorrow-
allow it to sting
gulp this bitterness
and walk away

If you were here
just one more day
Then every color you hate
wouldn't fill the sky

So parade around with toothy grins
bring and stitch-
your own misery

Have your lost the will to fight?
The trembling in your arms and legs
Itch for a confession
Beg for a change.
The shrieking in your noggin,
Rattles your every thought
Your stomach sinks, knowing
So, you attempt to bury your simple desires.
Hoping for a less convoluted existence.
Is this what makes us alive?

Waiting for an opportunity to start...
Is equal to drowning in a ocean of excuses
Grab the horns of fate!
Throw caution to the wind
Clutch to your feeble life-vest,
and paddle to shore
The sand will crunch under your feet,
but as the hidden shards of glass cut up your soles-
You need to patch yourself up,
and continue walking...

When I look into the mirror, what shall I see?
Do I see the truth...or the convoluted lies?
Haven't I already stated goodbye?

Do I follow that winding path?
Or do I remain a hollow being brimming with wrath?
What is left? Even the numbing effect conceals suffering.
Conflict is exposed in my reflection
Oh woe to fleeting affection.

Grief has a lingering bitter taste
Can it show even in my eyes?
As individual dreams fall, they cry out and call
Stay calm through the panic,
but things will not work out well

Shame is hanging like a noose.
Yet hatred seeps through-
like blood from a wound
Guilt infects and spreads

Do I follow that winding path?
Or do I remain a hollow being brimming with wrath?
What is left? Even the numbing effect conceals suffering.
Conflict is exposed in my reflection
Oh woe to fleeting affection.

Oh, my own suffering was by my own hands.
This being was at fault.

You and I were the closest of friends,

Not a drop of blood was needed between us

Bonded with time, each day was simple bliss

Acting out our ridiculous jokes,

laughing, giggles;

time paused in our eyes

Years flit by, reality half-heartedly drifts

Memories rejoice to themselves yet,

are misplaced and unconscious.

The blooming rose wilts and rots away,

as of who were once were.

Ignorant thoughts blinds the sight

Too late to regret.

What pretty pity, the past is over.

Childhood is a crazed faded dream-

I should have known better.

Your true colors are crystal clear,

who ever told you to go?

I was only a stepping stone to you, wasn't I?

My Missing Friend,

Why did you betray me?

Let the blue sky

fill your vision

of dreams

of candy clouds

Oh, paper moon

Afraid to lose composure

But, not even sad

that is

all over

Never meant to know

the answer

to dreams

A smile can break through

Once in awhile

But at least it is genuine and true.

A happy laugh

Sometimes

Can give hope

Even if it is just a little

It's still just enough

To make it through

Maybe it isn't time

To let go

And to give in

R E A C H  out

Pull through

Because being strong

Is sometimes all

we can do.

It can make one bend over backwards
Lost little words spin around in haze
What one says may differ from what one does

These strange new emotion are simply-
Something you don't mess with!

"This" and "That". How can an outsider comprehend?
Unusual events follow through.
Is this bizarre-ness worth fighting for?

Rose petals float gentle with the breeze.
A warm passion shared between two.
Heart racing, palms sweating-
How can one think properly?

Love. A single and final word that can mean so much.
Yet another love poem quietly drips on this page...

Encountering suffering in a multitude of events,
does not soften the blow,
for the future
Numbness in this case becomes,
a coping mechanism.
Without much realization,
the same barriers crumble
and faulty shells,
attempt to stand.
The cloudy filled bottle,
has more then a few cracks
Leaks sprung, unprepared-
because issues,
lacked in solutions.

Ever since we parted ways,
My body didn't know how to feel,
my heart lost beats
Now I'm filled with chills and creeps


When I was alone and broken
You took my hand and I awoken
When the chains of torment wrapped around me-
you deserted me,
in fact-
You could only flee
You were a coward to all
But I pretended you would never let me fall

I should have known better
Three steps from life
I could only clutch to a knife
I bled, needing only you
Shinning nobility-that was you

The cancer of hatred, took hold
Once again I'm alone in this cold
My trust wasted, now dust
I don't think I can be relieved
There's no reason to ever have believed

Thanks to you,
Whenever I spot the rain
I'm reminded of all this pain
This dismantled being-
has no faith
Thank to you,
I've lost all there is to *gain

I won't let this hope shatter
I won't let this life break
You just won't leave me breathe
The shadows of the night
They embrace the darkness you fight

You and I, won't stay long, but
by the end of this song,
your soul will be gone.

Please don't let this be our last goodbye

I don't want this all to be a lie
Memories are lost, what is the cost?
Is there more, left of this rattled core?

I won't let this be.
This is not me.

Where is your heart?
Or has it all fallen apart?
The world has lost its way
The light has long faded away

Lies have been forsaken-but nothing has been taken.
Everything vanished in the veins,
only your battered core still remains.

We all cried, but
the you we knew
has DIED.

Do I lack ambition?
A thread of red
Severed by one rusted knife
Do I reserve the right to hold my head up high?
A stubborn pride that festers like mold
But clutching a grip that refutes self acceptance
I force myself into an envelope
Sealed from all the ill intent of many
Am I just meant to play the part-
of the feeble victim?

We made a special pact,

for friendship forever

Always stand with me

I asked

I swore myself

to never leave behind

to never forget

Bit by bit,

we  f  e   l   l

Distanced in mere steps

Gone with the wind,

vanished.

Despair bloomed within the

icy shock

No plans of coming back

You glanced away

This is where I draw the line

Shattered secrets cannot

Sympathize with my heart

Nor can a faded memoir

of what used to be...

A fake promise was

all it was in the end.

Bittersweet and diabolical is fate
A selfish want for a little bit more
Hands are trembling
Tensions are flaring,
but refuse to beg for the rest of life

Will this be the conclusion?
Truth was known
Morals have vanished
What was the error made?

No promises that the past,
won't keep biting
Fight back
With all one's might
Let go of the things known,
If they don't mean anything
Don't return to where you come from

Hate cannot create
One's ticket home

Never was doubtful of your condescending ways.
Pricked in suffering
Words of loathsome intentions
A naive foolish tool was I
You act as though nothing occurred
Your false innocence will be forgotten,
because I'm finished with you
I have no desire to-
Keep tainted memories alive
Slip through the cracks-
and don't ever come back