Chew the bones
Of a black vessel
Painted externally red
To expose skeletons of the shrouded past
A tidal wave of pretending-
Bellows in the lack of a proper foundation
An inaudible completion to a chapter that dragged itself out excessively
Paper thin rope erodes in the presence of mist
Clawing for a cure to mend an abomination of a thought process
Burn the shards of bone
Of an astray vessel
Splattered blue for release

Well, little sis-I need to let you know
Life isn't a simple open doorway
There's its up and downs,
Painful stings,
Emotional roller coaster,
And Harsh lessons
But this entire time-
I've been attempting to follow my heart
Clutching to my dreams
Doing what I thought was right
Not being dictated by someone else's words
Even when the bleakness pulled in.

So, little sis, don't give up
Your dream-filled goals
Don't just sit there and wait!
Because it will not get any easier
Don't you look back now
Don't follow me-
Please ride on your own path
I'm still here,
No one is going to push you down.
Life isn't an open books
So open it with your own strength.

I am the hope of
Mother, father, happiness
Brother, sister, forgiveness
Yesterday, backwards
Today, pausing
Tomorrow, forward
Unwishful thinking...

I watch it all
Fall
By its own foolish ambitions
Quietly wondering
Why this has become
Crawling in the darkness
In wait for some sort of sign.

I listen to their feeble calls
Clouds in shapes of dreams
The sky cries too
Understands the emptiness
Elders whisper poems,
Desiring the future
But gods only stand
Children wander about
But only see the darkness

Brother was a dreamer
But walked in no path
He was titled strong
Even as he strolled alone
And in the summer,
Of fear, he found his way...

Life of Earth
Emotion of existing
One-hundred-and-one
years old
Blue being of one earth
Trying to fit in and love.

Broken wings, oh broken wings
Sadness inside a heart,
has no dreams

Nightmares seem like an endless lullaby
Drifting thought try to make themselves clear
The exit to the light
is blocked by darkness
Blame enjoys the shame it brings
Hope fades as the sun sets quietly

(Chorus)
Broken wings, oh broken wings
Sadness inside a heart
has no dreams

Can they really be mended?
Do you really have a chance in this world?

Wounds reopen
Fear freezes over the world
Slashed with the sword of hate?
Why should I bother to wait?
My perception of time-
fails me.
Silent tears fall
No will to interact

(Chorus)
Broken wings, oh broken wings
Sadness inside a heart
has no dreams*

Can they really be mended?
Do you really have a chance in this world?

Everything is wrong.
In fact, it's all gone.
The injured little butterfly
tries to take flight
but it can't because
of its broken wings...

Sadness inside a heart has no dreams (2X)

Silently screaming
Trying not to give in
To the dark pessimistic thoughts
And you simply laugh
Thinking everything of me
As the ultimate joke
Funny how you're the one crying now

(Chorus)
Falling, falling
Crumbling ever so slowly
Eyes barely open
Yet still can see
Through the lies
Attempt to block it all
Only to absorb the hate
And lose again

Just the sand
Of the sea
Doesn't matter to me
Nor does the little voice inside
I should let you know
My mind's innocence
was robbed from me

(Chorus)

Thought love could conquer all
But even that dream was false
It used to mean the world to me
To take the pain away
Away from the something
I didn't understand

(Chorus)

Silently screaming
It doesn't matter
This used to mean the world to me
But I already knew
I can't even save myself now.

Do I lack ambition?
A thread of red
Severed by one rusted knife
Do I reserve the right to hold my head up high?
A stubborn pride that festers like mold
But clutching a grip that refutes self acceptance
I force myself into an envelope
Sealed from all the ill intent of many
Am I just meant to play the part-
of the feeble victim?

To realize pain, I walk in the rain
My hidden tears, flow in many rows
I despise these emotions I face
If only, I could contain them in a case
Love is beyond my own reach
No one hears my feeble screech
This internal struggle won't work out,
I know this well
I ring this bell to say "farewell".

I gaze at the twinkling stars
and ponder lightly if I could collect them in glass jars?
Too bad this mind is within bars.
If I am to be in torment
Surely, this is meant to be.

The mirror's light will never awaken.
Might as well keep breaking
Agony trickles down my being
Why can't I stop bleeding?!

As I feared, darkness blinds me
The light has faded away,
if only I could see
Why didn't I stay?!
Now, I'm honestly at bay...

Why couldn't I be wrong?
I wonder...How long have I been gone?
Is this my hell...?
Why...do I hear a bell?

Alas, I remember now-
I'm one of death's members...
Tainted in...bright red,
I say I must have bled.
Time keeps silently still,
but I only feel miserable and ill.
I'm in another world,
the Netherworld.

I'm forever cursed-
as one who is simply DEAD.

The world I once knew is gone.
I was cowering behind a wall of lies.
Time seemed to envelope within
Illusions of silent love, shattered.
The torture of time crawling, breaks my being.

A thousand screams kept in
If I smiled just for now, no one would know.
A crippled blood bathed heart laid within me
Attempted again and again to seal the cracks,
but detestment seeped in.

Confusion and anger clouded my mind.
Time to vanish, surely it is my only choice?

As I turned to the darkness- I paused.
Will I regret…? Or will I fall apart, only to forget once more?
Flickers of thoughts flowed softly in mist,
As I sink in, taking my final breath…

My Choice is clear.
Love was void in my short existence.
Death welcomed me into its comforting arms.

I didn't ask for this.

Secrets don't always hold together

It wasn't okay in the end,

like you stated it would be

I knew deep down

There's nothing to miss

Couldn't bring myself to,

shatter the beautiful images,

you once held dear

I was deprived of logic

Shouldn't have to exist

So wash away my sky.

I can't stand this reflection
Because I'm reminded of all the tension
I could barely breathe,
when I saw my soul leave

Bones rattled in loneliness
I became defenseless,
while you were rageful and senseless
You relished in my fears
and the dejectedness of my tears

I was your enemy,
and eventually we learned
My heart innocently yearned,
but instead your hate intensely BURNED

I should have found it shocking,
when I found out you were lying
Your grin exposed it all
You were going to make me fall

I simply waited-even as you slashed me
I craved to be free
Inside, all my depression-spilled out in screams and tears
For a second, your eyes reflected fears

You left me, clinging to life and bleeding...
Was your heart still human-and beating...?

I allowed myself to be merely defeated by you.

A wound reopens when you least expect it
Be it through running
Being clumsy
Or though repeating a simple mistake
Should my lack of intelligence
Be a punishable crime?
Was my trusting nature just not meant for existing?
I realize through your glazed stare
You lack remorse.
Being alone was a terrifying choice,
Perhaps I should have harden the shell.
The shell has far to many cracks that fail to mend properly.
Deformity should be eradicated

Broken dreams, fall at my feet
Rain dances around me, as I cry

Tortured and casting aside,
A forlorn hope glows dimly
Give it up now, your crestfallen heart can't heed no longer

Don't stand, keep yourself hidden in the ground
Dig your grave out, and fall right in.
Buried in sin, drowned in fear

Hold on no more; just pull the trigger.
Shatter into pieces, crumble away

Mask your emotions, lose all hope
Mourn over loss.
Of joyless childhood days
A heavy form swallowed up in melancholy
Life has departed.
Death has sunked and gripped.

Walls crash,
an insecure reflection.
Un-hiden shame-
Trip first into the ground

A dismantled core.
Standing for what we think we know

Is it a game?
All you've understood is betrayal
Slowly stop noticing the way pain,
poisons the insides.

A step forward

detaches the past

The sun will shine.
I just hope light will be mine.

Don’t dwell in the past
Or life will never seem to last
Live for today, die some other day
Life will not have meaning if you cannot move on

Follow the path of your heart
Don’t bother to leave that part
Only truth will uncover lies
So, better yet- don’t say goodbye

Try not to drown in the pain
Forgiving might wash it away in rain
Only time will whisper what occurs next

The past is over, and future’s growth remains in its grain.

Never thought this would be like this
These days only repeat
Like the waves of the ocean
Tired of all the glaring stares
That dare reflect my inner hate
And outer pain

(Chorus)
I can't get away
Even if I run away
What's chasing me
Can't be seen
Truth has been tossed away
Not meant to stay
But there are no means of escape
Because it is what I earn and deserve

Disagree silently
You killed my proof
Does it even make a difference to try?
This secret I kept locked away for so long
I should have never let you in
Too exposed to hold any protection

(Chorus)

Let the flame go...
(I can't get away)
Let the flame go...
(Never thought it would be this way)
Let the flame go...
(Even if I run away)
Let the flame go...
(I am not meant to stay)

Let the flame go out.

Fire in the sky-
Lights up the dark moon
Take this hand-
and be sure to
let go
Push to the edge
of disaster
Grip to a final
and feeble
string of hope.

I no longer feel whole,

for I am hollow

Pleading-but emotions dry and crumble

The path I once chased vanished from sight

Affection is viewed as a bothersome nuisance

They all turned and walked away.

I stood there rooted to the spot.

Shock numbed my body permanently.

I have been shunned.

Were they consumed by hate?

Memories of hope rewrote themselves as moments of brokenness.

The ones loved-

Faded and I've been

externally ERASED.

Poison bleeds through me
I no longer sense your presence.
Time slips away, how does one heal?
Within my mind, I forfeit.

Wrong and right blur-
between the lines
The signs of coldness are recognized.

Blinded by lies,
the heart is now engraved in regret.

Committed sins bang at the door.
Face them alone.
For the soul has been sacrificed for silence.

None of you ever cared.
Dreams were shattered,
and love was forever ERASED.

My stomach is full of sorrow

but my heart is void of warmth

A selfish coward who yearns,

for the ending of existence.

Candlelight flickers in the eyes,

but the spark is unseen.

I only sense my own dead words
They are scattered across the floor
Trampled to ***** bits
By the folks who said they once cared
I've sewn and tossed the urge to speak
Why am I in this sea of despair?

Heart torn up-lungs filled with fire
How can one breathe, even gasp?
Love in mind trickles through fingers
Falling inward, support pulverized
Is there a point to it all?

Hate...Oh great-the end is near
Why must I have to die?
Goodbye to all
For love is to fall...
Happiness is battered
And hope is  left shattered

Sometimes fear stems from not understanding

Blame is but a gift in a hateful society

Lack of encouragement leads many astray

The river streams in one direction

But forces some to struggle against the current.

How does one break out of line-

if it is enforced with barbwire?

Embrace the injures life inflicts and

rush through stomping on brittle pavement.

Ignore the trembles in your chest cavity and brave a smile

Negativity surrounds you like an endless sea,

but divert your gaze to brighter portions of the sky.

Fear is another form of ignorance,

only if allowed to cloak judgment.

Darkness stepped into the world long ago.

But many did not take note

Evil demons and the ****** hid in the shadows

Hatred latched on to the hearts of the weak

While souls of others evaporated,

Under the reaper's gripping hold.

Poison stings in the minds of the good.

This is degradation of the pure human spirit...

Rage peels the skin

and within the coldness love couldn't exist

Here I think to myself

What has happened in this short amount of time apart?

Your clement smile lights up the room in my head

Drifting and floating away from one another,

What is there to chase?

Loyalty of the heart is slowly tucked away

False favorable mechanics of what it once was

Chances are truly fatal.

We all seem to disintegrate.

Hesitating laughs, and depressing fatigue comes over

What can I possibly accomplish if--

I can't comprehend all of this?!

All we appear to do is distrust one another.

I only feel our friendship sink even further away...

Lately, I've had trouble keeping to myself
All along, I thought I was a lone wolf-
but, a beating inside rebelled against the concept

No, this isn't the first time
I once had a place in my mind I could retreat to...
How can I live in this mess of a life?

The cracks make themselves apparent
Haunted by the familiar faces
Rendered speechless by suffering
My reasoning is clouded by-
these walls clutching crippling memories

I only wanted a little more
The heart was in the right place at the time.
People always slip away
Question this existence
Let me know was it wrong-
to think with your heart?

Guilt is eating away-
due to the mistakes I've made
Once again I fall.

I don't deserve to crawl
I'm where I belong
Not much to say, out in the silence
Gravity isn't the only thing-
holding you down

Could it be you cannot-
face your wrong-doing?

Time for those wounds to mend
Where is all that fear-hiding?
Let the time be, and for it to bend
Why must we be in a massive quarrel?
She started to flee;
We began to run
Why oh why must it be after me?
Fate himself released a gun

The path itself unfolded
To the dismay of our human hearts
The knots of life once again, reholded
What has erased those starts?

Unexpected happenings in the light
Now is best to face life,
and take our last flight.

Hell reaches all
A** suffering of souls that is eternal
Tainted in heart
Evil lurks inside us all

No matter how hard you try
You fail once again,
Suffer and stand,
Gracing yourself with anger
To leave your final chapter on a cliff-hanger.

Smash, face first into the ground
Gulp down frail shouts
Suppress it, no one should hear your pitiful anguish.
It’s your problem, your agony alone.

Plague your emotional state so strongly that physical illness occurs
Death doesn’t have a quiet blanket to cloak you
Fate chuckles at your struggles and blindness.

Mute yourself, no reason to interact- they cannot see you
Why spill tears, for it eases nothing.
Life in false rage and sturdy your mourning heart.

Hide yourself from the foolish world surrounding you.

Under a simple smile
Screeching thoughts occur
Here is the dark calling out
Behind this blinding mask
For the light is a rare sight
It was a trap.
Couldn’t see through.
I never was really running from fear

I wasn’t hiding from the darkness,
But rather cowering from the lashes
It dangerously crippled me
Tearing down who I was inside
I don’t have the will to say,
The things you need to hear
Because I know I will be wasting my breath anyway
A gaze of pity
Is something I no longer give.

Can you imagine?

Puffy cotton clouds absorbing the gray-blue sky

A slight chill crawling down one's back

Wishing to possess a voice

Staring out at space--

waiting, desiring to act out

Scars of the past will linger

Some words will escape these lips

This time nothing is holding me back

Some of us will never be able to see

'Cause they look at the world with their eyes shut

Pretending not to know,

is the same as

lying to yourself.

I can't stop thinking about
a certain someone
a certain someone
I feel as though I'll lose my mind tonight
I see myself losing this fight
losing this fight
Gotten so used to bottling these emotions
I just love to hide in the tide
No one will see this weakness,
or so I thought.

The lies you chose to spew

Was proof of your green-eyed character

I don't believe you had malice in your being

Only a selfish desire for attention

You'd go so far as to manipulate-

to quench private desires

In turn, harming those who once loved you

Too bad you're blinded by the past,

to witness the damage

that still eats  away...

It doesn't matter if I'm down
This time I won't turn around
Stop calling my name
A simple smile doesn't count
'Cause it's all a lie

(chorus)
Look inside, inside of me
I want to believe
But I fear each step I make,
Will only be another mistake
This is what I hold inside of me

Funny how the dearest of things
Are the easiest to lose
You're always there
To scream at me
Nothing is to be kept
Old trees are swaying
But, don't lean on me

(chorus)

Underneath this skin
Is something you'll
never see.

(chorus)
Look inside, inside of me
I want to believe
But I fear each step I make,
Will only be another mistake
This is what I hold inside of me

This is what I hold...
inside of me.

The person I once was, I could no longer recognize.
Doses of rising burns never seem to envelope within.
Stupidity took hold, oh what a sad pity.
I took authority of all the forgotten mistakes.
The memories stirring within tension.
Reacting, consuming of all fears.
Failure. Insanity in mind-I thought I left behind.
Confusion rapidly defeated me.
My soul is bleeding, binding me utterly faithless.
Why must I feel this pain?
I rather cry to the acid rain.
All shunned me, I was casted aside.
I forfeited myself, somehow I realized-
I was sacrificed.

Even the strongest of skin
Will weaken in time
Wasting this breathe--
Surviving alone.
Why is it so easy to destroy?
But so difficult to repair?
I seem to simply repeat the same idiotic mistake
Suppress the inner conflict
Hide the pain in me
So, I can pretend it doesn't phase me
Since I don't know what love is.

Have your lost the will to fight?
The trembling in your arms and legs
Itch for a confession
Beg for a change.
The shrieking in your noggin,
Rattles your every thought
Your stomach sinks, knowing
So, you attempt to bury your simple desires.
Hoping for a less convoluted existence.
Is this what makes us alive?

Waiting for an opportunity to start...
Is equal to drowning in a ocean of excuses
Grab the horns of fate!
Throw caution to the wind
Clutch to your feeble life-vest,
and paddle to shore
The sand will crunch under your feet,
but as the hidden shards of glass cut up your soles-
You need to patch yourself up,
and continue walking...

Never was doubtful of your condescending ways.
Pricked in suffering
Words of loathsome intentions
A naive foolish tool was I
You act as though nothing occurred
Your false innocence will be forgotten,
because I'm finished with you
I have no desire to-
Keep tainted memories alive
Slip through the cracks-
and don't ever come back

Adulthood is a façade
Humans are creatures of habit,
And victims of circumstances
Yet, oddly some locate adaptability
Childhood memories escape us-
With great ease.
True happiness is a fleeting concept
But- without despair, joy is a numbing sensation
Aging does not bring forth
The harvest of wisdom
Experience is an unkind professor
Strict and expecting perfection
The guide’s knowledge is dished
In a condescending tone.
The student is brimming with anxiety-
Unprepared for the final exam.

When the sun goes down
All darkness seems to hold
Now the light is to fold

So give this life some sort of reason
So we can all stay and move on to the next…

The text within, remains unopen
The last path stays, unbroken
The voice left unheard

So give this life some sort of reason,
So we can all survive

And the darkness starts to learn
And the light is to return

So give my life, all the reason to live

And fall into the dream

Live for today and don’t worry about tomorrow
The next sunset or sunrise, just might never come
Don’t even bother with all that sorrow
Just don’t let your tears burn

Spend your time on earth the best it can be!
Give your care to everyone, so it won’t fade
Try to smile, just for me.
The warmth of your heart will destroy the dark shade

Don’t let your family dissipate, far away
Your life is needed for all
You need them more and more each day
I won’t let you fall

So breathe your last breath, let me be.
So, in another life,
We can be FREE.

Ticking of a forgotten clock

Broken mirror, and dusty old books-

Clutter the lifeless room

Scent of fading and falling rain;

wet the dry empty land

Touch, a shattered dream,

feel nothing now.

I am a lost memoir...

Lives forever
Open to everyone
Valued honestly
E**veryone can!

Love is confusion
Traveling blindly in a pitch dark maze
Perhaps it causes personal craze
Sometimes it can form an elated cloud
Swell up one's chest and to stand proud

A green beast may lurk, waiting and mad
The tiny child within crying and sad
At times it tears emotionally and is hard
Almost like attempting to perfectly tape together a shredded card

Love is an unknown mystery
A convoluted chunk of human history
Even when time erodes, it can remain the same
Could that mean it is lame?
Love is a solution

Was I aware of it at first?
The heavy baggage that it carried..?
Feeling of exile, its sinister smile glaring; mocking me so
A disruption of my tranquilly-
Catastrophic ghosts concealed their true demeanor
Not one word of concern ever wept my little way

An interval of time permitted itself to be of un-importance
Immune to flaws-
Yet imperfection quivered in its path
Bewildering at it was, I never did notice its power; its strength

In its pity and sorrow, I was caged
Wandered around aimlessly, only to crash constantly
Refuse to understand; deny all its signs
I believed that I was formidable, courageous-
but it was only a **TORTUROUS MASK of ONE

Can't you turn away?
A glassy gaze filled the eyes
Venom was directed
Underneath simple lies

You would have seen,
but mis-believe
and be deceived

For just a minute,
every ounce of sorrow-
allow it to sting
gulp this bitterness
and walk away

If you were here
just one more day
Then every color you hate
wouldn't fill the sky

So parade around with toothy grins
bring and stitch-
your own misery

My nemesis is clueless for once

Trying to be patronizing? Ha.

You aren't strong, in fact

You've always been wrong.

Quit trying to hide the fact that-

You're an abomination.

Sunlight bleeds through my darkness

Yet, it seems paradoxes repel

Potential for an ugly, pestilential end.

We both are nostalgic,

but this won't be charming

Say goodbye, pay the price.

Sacrifice that heart of ice.

Absent-minded due to an unfortunate start

Forfeit, because eventually...

the gate will close

A sullen light will guide me,

but ultimately destroy you.

Dissatisfied emotions forfeit the anguish
Gorge the guilty and conceal the innocent
Inanimate whispers- fragmented and missing
Reflect and mimic your wicked doings
Disregard and slice stupid society
Obediently lying and retaining false grace
So, the world exposes its true darkness
Regardless, it's best to **move on

You and I were the closest of friends,

Not a drop of blood was needed between us

Bonded with time, each day was simple bliss

Acting out our ridiculous jokes,

laughing, giggles;

time paused in our eyes

Years flit by, reality half-heartedly drifts

Memories rejoice to themselves yet,

are misplaced and unconscious.

The blooming rose wilts and rots away,

as of who were once were.

Ignorant thoughts blinds the sight

Too late to regret.

What pretty pity, the past is over.

Childhood is a crazed faded dream-

I should have known better.

Your true colors are crystal clear,

who ever told you to go?

I was only a stepping stone to you, wasn't I?

My Missing Friend,

Why did you betray me?

Facing failure has become second nature

Burning in resentment, is an old wound-

that only irks further infection of the mind

Heart strings that once sang

Cry out for the darkened mercy-

that nativity once cloaked

Numbness and the prickles of pain-

Blur between pretend grins and choked chuckles.

As I stood in shock.

The realization smacked me across the face.

They couldn't see who I was,

Only the plastic smile I pasted.

Forgotten, like a broken shadow.

Stop with the mindless wishing

No one will hear you

No one will care for you

No one cries out for you

No one sees you

No one wants you

You're on your own.

Just close your eyes,

And say goodbye.