Adulthood is a façade
Humans are creatures of habit,
And victims of circumstances
Yet, oddly some locate adaptability
Childhood memories escape us-
With great ease.
True happiness is a fleeting concept
But- without despair, joy is a numbing sensation
Aging does not bring forth
The harvest of wisdom
Experience is an unkind professor
Strict and expecting perfection
The guide’s knowledge is dished
In a condescending tone.
The student is brimming with anxiety-
Unprepared for the final exam.

The history of mankind
Is a history full of repeated injuries
Without a soul
Some of us stopping living
Quite a time ago

Even if you despise society
Perhaps your own generation as well
Time cannot help but to glorify the past

All of us should know
While waiting for the right moment
The world doesn't pause

Nor should we
Life progresses forward
With or without us

I am the hope of
Mother, father, happiness
Brother, sister, forgiveness
Yesterday, backwards
Today, pausing
Tomorrow, forward
Unwishful thinking...

I watch it all
Fall
By its own foolish ambitions
Quietly wondering
Why this has become
Crawling in the darkness
In wait for some sort of sign.

I listen to their feeble calls
Clouds in shapes of dreams
The sky cries too
Understands the emptiness
Elders whisper poems,
Desiring the future
But gods only stand
Children wander about
But only see the darkness

Brother was a dreamer
But walked in no path
He was titled strong
Even as he strolled alone
And in the summer,
Of fear, he found his way...

Life of Earth
Emotion of existing
One-hundred-and-one
years old
Blue being of one earth
Trying to fit in and love.

Recalling things that are better off forgotten
So much for moving forward,
If the darkness of the past
Clings like wet cloth,
and drags one to the bottom

I did not foresee
Trust sometimes being a source of blindness
What has this all brought?
With each stab, the pain numbs a little.
An important portion crumbles.

Don't have a clue
When it comes to expressing emotions
Gotten so used to bottling-
everything up
So much so, that the senses are-
nearly bland

Can't you see?
You were supposed to support; to care!
But instead you blankly stare
And tear me down
Whoever said words don't hurt, lied.

I only sense my own dead words
They are scattered across the floor
Trampled to ***** bits
By the folks who said they once cared
I've sewn and tossed the urge to speak
Why am I in this sea of despair?

Heart torn up-lungs filled with fire
How can one breathe, even gasp?
Love in mind trickles through fingers
Falling inward, support pulverized
Is there a point to it all?

Hate...Oh great-the end is near
Why must I have to die?
Goodbye to all
For love is to fall...
Happiness is battered
And hope is  left shattered

Yes, We've been through a LOT. (Underline a LOT)

Some of us have fought

Together, we still stand

United as a band

Living isn't for eternity

But, allow this journey

Room for friendship and free thought.

No matter how hard you try
You fail once again,
Suffer and stand,
Gracing yourself with anger
To leave your final chapter on a cliff-hanger.

Smash, face first into the ground
Gulp down frail shouts
Suppress it, no one should hear your pitiful anguish.
It’s your problem, your agony alone.

Plague your emotional state so strongly that physical illness occurs
Death doesn’t have a quiet blanket to cloak you
Fate chuckles at your struggles and blindness.

Mute yourself, no reason to interact- they cannot see you
Why spill tears, for it eases nothing.
Life in false rage and sturdy your mourning heart.

Hide yourself from the foolish world surrounding you.

When the sun goes down
All darkness seems to hold
Now the light is to fold

So give this life some sort of reason
So we can all stay and move on to the next…

The text within, remains unopen
The last path stays, unbroken
The voice left unheard

So give this life some sort of reason,
So we can all survive

And the darkness starts to learn
And the light is to return

So give my life, all the reason to live

And fall into the dream

I can't stop thinking about
a certain someone
a certain someone
I feel as though I'll lose my mind tonight
I see myself losing this fight
losing this fight
Gotten so used to bottling these emotions
I just love to hide in the tide
No one will see this weakness,
or so I thought.

Careless teeth shred the facade that safeguarded this being

Glaring at this human loudspeaker

It only knows how to HURT

It doesn't know of LOVE

But, it cannot become NUMB

For HATE only reflects back

Just Pretend to Smile.

Sometimes fear stems from not understanding

Blame is but a gift in a hateful society

Lack of encouragement leads many astray

The river streams in one direction

But forces some to struggle against the current.

How does one break out of line-

if it is enforced with barbwire?

Embrace the injures life inflicts and

rush through stomping on brittle pavement.

Ignore the trembles in your chest cavity and brave a smile

Negativity surrounds you like an endless sea,

but divert your gaze to brighter portions of the sky.

Fear is another form of ignorance,

only if allowed to cloak judgment.

I can feel it
Running through my veins,
like fire
A fury that can't be held on to
It escapes through the cracks
And rattles the ground below them
All this time, I couldn't help to think-
Were we all that blinded by dreams?
Hope is a wonderful feeling-
if it's made solid
by reason.

To desire the golden path of life,

Is rather difficult when lost in a sea of despair

Exiled in a bleak hole,

Suffocating in only rage and regret

The heart screeches, begging to heal

Shunned, no longer able to cope,

with its inner turmoil

Feeble and confused, it is simple to brainwash-

obscurity creates darkness that creeps in.

Feeling nothing but the jabs of torment

The loneliness enjoys taunting me so.

Why do I let myself drown thousands of times?

Yet I still attempt to climb

Rottenness scrapes away the good, crushing my hope.

My heart falls to ashes and madness seeps in.

Intense failure decides to mock and cackle hideously-

because my soul was dragged away.

Can you imagine?

Puffy cotton clouds absorbing the gray-blue sky

A slight chill crawling down one's back

Wishing to possess a voice

Staring out at space--

waiting, desiring to act out

Scars of the past will linger

Some words will escape these lips

This time nothing is holding me back

Some of us will never be able to see

'Cause they look at the world with their eyes shut

Pretending not to know,

is the same as

lying to yourself.

You are the only friend to me
But I always seem to hurt you
The wrong thing is simply stated
Just never seem to learn
Can't act properly
If I push you away
I can let go

Hate to see pain in your eyes
But I subconsciously pretend not to see
Because I'm afraid of the truth
I'm a coward behind this mask

Deep within me
Is a dark desire
To turn to the black
And walk away

It feels like I don't belong
I want to let go
A foolish vision,
for the so-called future.

Will it keep in tack?
Or just utterly fall apart?
What will it take-
to keep this together?!

These fake hopes
Should never come to mind
They should have never evolved.

I knew all along,
it would not last
Yet, I idiotically held on
I want to feel something too

Sorry just won't cut it this time
But I will state it to you again
Because I mean it.

With all my withered being
You are my only friend
And I thank you,
but you can't save me

Whispering affliction follows closely
Silent and still,
Wonder what is left to ****?

Hysteria blocks the normal senses
I doubt you will bother to save
And will instead dig a grave

Find a way to assuage
Your eager thoughts
You should have gave it all and fought
or at release the cold emotional hold

The pangs of your heart try to warn you
But you simply allowed it to be a view
Is it mercy truly a curse?
Or is it something in reverse?

Tonight, your carelessness will result in the ultimate downfall
So,you better try and crawl
For the contempt in you shall begrudge your mind
Quickly, let it confine
Because despicable hate,
will be *mine

The lies you chose to spew

Was proof of your green-eyed character

I don't believe you had malice in your being

Only a selfish desire for attention

You'd go so far as to manipulate-

to quench private desires

In turn, harming those who once loved you

Too bad you're blinded by the past,

to witness the damage

that still eats  away...

Under a simple smile
Screeching thoughts occur
Here is the dark calling out
Behind this blinding mask
For the light is a rare sight
It was a trap.
Couldn’t see through.
I never was really running from fear

I wasn’t hiding from the darkness,
But rather cowering from the lashes
It dangerously crippled me
Tearing down who I was inside
I don’t have the will to say,
The things you need to hear
Because I know I will be wasting my breath anyway
A gaze of pity
Is something I no longer give.

Lately, I've had trouble keeping to myself
All along, I thought I was a lone wolf-
but, a beating inside rebelled against the concept

No, this isn't the first time
I once had a place in my mind I could retreat to...
How can I live in this mess of a life?

The cracks make themselves apparent
Haunted by the familiar faces
Rendered speechless by suffering
My reasoning is clouded by-
these walls clutching crippling memories

I only wanted a little more
The heart was in the right place at the time.
People always slip away
Question this existence
Let me know was it wrong-
to think with your heart?

Guilt is eating away-
due to the mistakes I've made
Once again I fall.

I don't deserve to crawl
I'm where I belong
Not much to say, out in the silence
Gravity isn't the only thing-
holding you down

Could it be you cannot-
face your wrong-doing?

Dissatisfied emotions forfeit the anguish
Gorge the guilty and conceal the innocent
Inanimate whispers- fragmented and missing
Reflect and mimic your wicked doings
Disregard and slice stupid society
Obediently lying and retaining false grace
So, the world exposes its true darkness
Regardless, it's best to **move on

Broken dreams, fall at my feet
Rain dances around me, as I cry

Tortured and casting aside,
A forlorn hope glows dimly
Give it up now, your crestfallen heart can't heed no longer

Don't stand, keep yourself hidden in the ground
Dig your grave out, and fall right in.
Buried in sin, drowned in fear

Hold on no more; just pull the trigger.
Shatter into pieces, crumble away

Mask your emotions, lose all hope
Mourn over loss.
Of joyless childhood days
A heavy form swallowed up in melancholy
Life has departed.
Death has sunked and gripped.

A thousand lies, don't deny it
A million screams taunting inside
The impulses of blood shed
The feeling of total dread
Fake smiles I give,
real tears you let live

Oh, the consuming of pain
The suffering leaves nothing to gain
Poison reacts; sins slash
Fading affection is grasping all tension

My heart beats and we are in defeat
I am faithless, yet oddly not defenseless.
Why should I crawl?
**** it, I don't wanna fall!

Please don't leave me here.
Is this freakin' prison?
Oh please-just listen.

A thousand lies, a million screams
I hope you can go it alone
Since there is no home
Forever broken, so they might die.
Why,
should we all lie?

Being ruled by emotions,
is a shaky foundation-
crumbling away from one's feet.
How does one cling to positivity-
when self-doubt fragments all?

Hear the sound
Of a simple voice
What will unfold?
Will I have a choice-
in the matter at hand?
In the echo of my own footsteps,
I lose what I thought I had.

Made myself sick with pain,
living a life desperate for answers.
I cannot help but to ponder my existence.

I didn't ask for this.

Secrets don't always hold together

It wasn't okay in the end,

like you stated it would be

I knew deep down

There's nothing to miss

Couldn't bring myself to,

shatter the beautiful images,

you once held dear

I was deprived of logic

Shouldn't have to exist

So wash away my sky.

Panicable misery
Affects boldly
In a massive dosage
N**ever to lose strength and simple to cycle

Facing failure has become second nature

Burning in resentment, is an old wound-

that only irks further infection of the mind

Heart strings that once sang

Cry out for the darkened mercy-

that nativity once cloaked

Numbness and the prickles of pain-

Blur between pretend grins and choked chuckles.

Wallow in self pity
Eats away at any ounce of strength
Able to consume in time
K**nowledge heeds no help

Lacking the will to carry on...

Darkness stepped into the world long ago.

But many did not take note

Evil demons and the ****** hid in the shadows

Hatred latched on to the hearts of the weak

While souls of others evaporated,

Under the reaper's gripping hold.

Poison stings in the minds of the good.

This is degradation of the pure human spirit...

Rage peels the skin

and within the coldness love couldn't exist

The world I once knew is gone.
I was cowering behind a wall of lies.
Time seemed to envelope within
Illusions of silent love, shattered.
The torture of time crawling, breaks my being.

A thousand screams kept in
If I smiled just for now, no one would know.
A crippled blood bathed heart laid within me
Attempted again and again to seal the cracks,
but detestment seeped in.

Confusion and anger clouded my mind.
Time to vanish, surely it is my only choice?

As I turned to the darkness- I paused.
Will I regret…? Or will I fall apart, only to forget once more?
Flickers of thoughts flowed softly in mist,
As I sink in, taking my final breath…

My Choice is clear.
Love was void in my short existence.
Death welcomed me into its comforting arms.

Blues, blacks and purples
Soft sobs and falling rain
The taste of salt
Is it someone's fault?
The soft scent of fresh water-droplets
Beautiful, silent dying roses
The heart is in painful agony

Love is confusion
Traveling blindly in a pitch dark maze
Perhaps it causes personal craze
Sometimes it can form an elated cloud
Swell up one's chest and to stand proud

A green beast may lurk, waiting and mad
The tiny child within crying and sad
At times it tears emotionally and is hard
Almost like attempting to perfectly tape together a shredded card

Love is an unknown mystery
A convoluted chunk of human history
Even when time erodes, it can remain the same
Could that mean it is lame?
Love is a solution

Stop with the mindless wishing

No one will hear you

No one will care for you

No one cries out for you

No one sees you

No one wants you

You're on your own.

Just close your eyes,

And say goodbye.

Hell reaches all
A** suffering of souls that is eternal
Tainted in heart
Evil lurks inside us all