Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Pax May 2015

I have stopped looking at the clouds
and start staring at cornered walls that surrounds me.

The clear skies that I would dream, wondering the complexities of its heights…

I often believed that the sky would make my dreams come true,
but in reality, all it takes to journey your dream is creating a stepping stone.
You can’t achieve anything without making any step.

I always like to jump into conclusion, fear of failure.
In this case, it hinders the optimism values we always have.

Diving into your deepest thoughts is just like scuba diving without oxygen.
We need to learn how to hold our breaths,  to accept everything
and process every obstacle in the depth of negativity.
For far beyond its deepness, there is light, shiny as pearls.
You’ll learn its wisdom, an insight that will guide you towards reaching any goal…


Written - 09/16/2013
Updated – 04/21/2014

I found this in my files while browsing  some old writes I have. one of my untitled piece that I never got to publish online, now i finally did.

thank you for reading.
Pax Feb 2015

I keep losing a piece of myself every time I feel unworthy of your time,
          then I realized it’s not you, it’s me wasting my time in pleasing you.
      So I stop and pick-up the pieces of what’s left,
                  for me to move on and start caring for myself.

There are times when you give everything to the point that you don’t know yourself anymore, then you realize you had enough.

I wrote this when I was trying to write a mini booklet quotes of self-worth, reminders to self. The first is here: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/764171/self-worth/
Pax Jan 2013
Waiting is much harder
if you think of the time
you wasted.


*© Pax
Pax Nov 2018
I was left hanging
in your garden heart
yet I was only a ****
who never got your
attention.
https://www.instagram.com/willyampax
Pax Sep 2014
Why are you trying to be someone that you’re not?
Why are you pretending to be happy that you’re really not?
Why do you keep on lying to yourself?
Why is your life very complicated?
Or you’re just making it too complicated for us to bother?
Maybe you’re just emotionally damaged by your own selfish doing?
I get it, that you’re hard to deal with, I get that.
Still you don’t have to push us away.
You don’t have to be so alone.
You know we’re here to listen and guide you towards a better way.
We stick to you no matter what they say and what you’d become.
Because we know it’s still you, it’s a part of you.
We love you just the way you are, nothing can change that.
If you gone to a bad start, then let’s start a new better one.
Maybe for you it’s too late to start a better one, but life’s too short.
Let’s enjoy it, lived the way we want it to be.

Ha, you’re a late bloomer you say.
Nah, you’re just one of millions out there.
People learned new things every day;
it’s never too late to learn. That’s one of my principles.

You’re doing good, listen to your good side.
Listen to you pure soul. Hear its plea.
Flip every bad into an optimism to strive for the better.
You know we can, because we believe in ourselves that we can.
Come let’s do this together start a new beginning.
Free from prejudice and judgments.
Let’s thanks sorrow and pain.
Without them we can never achieved who we are today.
Life isn’t easy, we know,
but we learned.


*© Pax
whenever I get so alone, I read this, this was the voice within me that helps me keep going in life. A motivational piece to lift me up in those bad days I have. Now I am sharing this to all. Thank you so much in reading me
Pax Nov 2014
We* often *Owned, what We don’t Own.
Being  Possessive, We become Invasive.

                 - We often Neutralize, what We can’t Realize.
                     - Full Realization comes after the Actual Destruction.
Creating our own Ending.



*© Pax
a philosophical pondering of mine and my concerns about how WE(humans) are being destructive in our own world & nature itself or sometimes we are too blind to notice the destructive path we walk upon, realizing too late.

if you want to know more about my thoughts about this poem follow this link here:    http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1328378/
Pax Jul 2018
What makes a poem
- a poem?
Does it express your
emotional life and
the selfish deeds
it contains
.... then you shamelessly
Share it...

Does it really matter
someone might
read it or not?
Someone might
understand you or
not, does that really
matter?

In the world
we live in
many hearts
have died
for they don't
know how our
pen works.
How it does
- what it does.

When a poem
does all the
technicalities,
it may seeks
the power of
fame and fortune
but does it really
matter?

I may not understand
fully what makes a poem
- a poem. But behind all
of it, I'm just here
trying to write a poem
whom my heart
spoke out loud
like he never could.
"How many have to die
so that you can feel loved.
by Florence + the Machine"

you know her music resonates my darkness.
her music really tugs some heartstrings I
tried to hide.
Pax Dec 2015
When I was so confused on what to do,
where were you?

When I was so **** broken,
where were you?

When I was so sad,
where were you?

I guess I was so **** independent
that you didn't see
I needed someone for me
who will say,
you'll be okay,
it will be fine,
life is just built that way
for you to learn
and adapt.
Well, good news,
i learn it that way...
So I was okay.
I grow up good
and well adapted...

Now that I've think about it,
nobody has really gone deeper
to my "I'm okay, I'm good.".
No one bothers really,
they take my silences
as fine I guess...

big sigh...


I wish I could say this to my family, that I'm struggling despite my happy persona. But really I could not tell them, I don't want them to worry.
Pax Sep 2015
I give wings to my words
so that it will fly
free from the chains that binds it.

Give it life and beauty
so that it will flourish
despite its darker past.

Then put it out there
somewhere along
     the sea of people
  showing
    *the imperfections
           of my life...
Pax Dec 2015
Words inspire, Words transpire
They are the writer’s creation
a peak of the writer’s soul

A positive release
Or
A negative outcome

Dull words into creative thinking
Sparkles of wellness
Pure and Raw emotions collide
Reflections of what we imagine
Beginners and new beginning
Flows in a dynamic determination
Empowering its readers
Curious to meaningful insight
Playful art of thoughts
For me
For you
For everyone
To
Enjoy
a 3 year old poem of mine, inspired on how words create art.
Pax Oct 2014
I outfitted my worn-out clothes
Then in the far mirror, I see myself
I look behind the old me
Look pass the masked he wears,
Staring…  

After what seems like a few seconds,
I finally asked him;

“Have I neglected you?”

He didn’t answer…
A single tear fell in his left eye
And then I understood…

“I am sorry, I let you stay behind
masked for too long
muffled you for quite some time.
We all know society is cruel place to be.
We need to be strong and I needed to be stronger.
It was for our sake.
But then it was just me being a coward
                            - afraid to faced reality.

Now look at us, we’re both crying for the decisions
we’ve made long ago. It was not your fault,
I’m to blame with all of this crap.
I made you do it, I convinced you with my
Fears. And I am truly sorry for that.”


I break down into sobs. He simply hugs me, not saying anything.
Then he fades away.

I dried away the tears I shed
And found something,
     a feeling I never knew he give.
I found forgiveness.
I was able to forgive myself
From the things I did.
To stay past the past mistake,
To face the new kinda old me…

Then I realized;
It is important to forgive yourself
To be able to move forward.





written 09/27/2014
*© Pax
Taken from the depths of my soul. Very raw. An emotional pondering.

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1419114/
Pax May 2015
Would it be okay if I say, I’ve had enough of your presence in my life?
You’re too much of everything I hate
of all the things, you annoy me.
I wish you were gone and would fade away like you never existed.
But still you were there reminding me
of all the wrong things,
The bad memories,
The irritating personalities,
                   The foolish behaviors,
                                   The selfish self,
                                            and lastly
                                   The sad and gloomy
                                          State of mind.

I did something to hide you,
I can simply toss you aside,
Put a mask on your face,
        Do a charade
              Making you aware that you don’t exist,
              and a complete cover-up of make belief.
I’ve done everything possible I can to coat or erase your every existence
But then I realized you’re a part of me
That can never be erased
A reflection of me
The reality of me
You can never be without me   and    I can never be without you
because
all in all
you’re
me
.
"i wrote this when i was really down with myself
i always blame myself."

- that's what i said way back when I wrote this last July 2012. Now I've grown to understand myself better, accepting the things that I needed to embrace and just live the way I wanted without hate in my system. Yes, I guess the hate is still there, it doesn't fade easily, we always have our insecurity, sometimes it helps us stay grounded on our feet, but most of the time it hinders us in doing something good for us. I am glad that I found comfort, creativity, acceptance & understanding in poetry without it, I'll be exploding in every path I take...  Thank you for reading my friends.
Pax Nov 2015

In another time,
will you still love me?

In another place,
will you still meet me?

In a fleeting moment,
will our stars meet?

I guess I should give up,
knowing you're not there...

but then I'll better wait,
Patience is all I have left...

— The End —