The goal should always
result in your happiness
or else what's the point?

4:34 PM
30/11/20

Isn't it ironic
how it is out of fear
for losing someone that stops us
from attaining them.

I'm still reading
the book she gave me
for Christmas.
Bukowski-
it's as good as you'd expect.
So why is it taking me
this long to finish?

What we desire
after midnight is seldom
good for the spirit

9:13 PM
7/3/20

You’re in a weird place right now;
you feel like you don’t know which way is up
and which way is down,
and you know everyone
says to just follow your heart,
but you don’t know where it is.
Maybe you left it in another country,
or underneath your bed.
Maybe it’s in the summer air.
Or in a love you haven’t touched.
Maybe it's in a song you heard,
Or a book you haven’t read.
You’ll find it again,
you will,
just please,
don’t stop looking.

In our silence,
a love blossoms once again
in these two hearts.
True love's roots burrow deeper
than any absence that has
come between us.

You’ve been
following me out to sea
hoping to find paradise
on my voyage
but I am nothing
but shipwreck and storm;
a tsunami leaving nothing but
chaos in its wake.

I want to know
if that Moroccan cat
is doing better than I am.
I really hope so.
I hope he has found a home,
and a love like no other.
I hope that cat
is happy now.

I caught myself
Again
Staring up at the starry night
Thinking about you
Wondering if you stare
At the same starry night
thinking about me too
and if you still
cross my mind

I know a girl
on the other side of the world
she's my flesh and blood
my heart and soul
but I'm stuck with the blues
the baby blues now

She went to the park
and made the birds, sun and trees
jealous all at once

7:24 PM
29/6/19

During this winter,
all I wanted was the warmth
of someone to love

7:31 PM
18/10/19

What hope did we have
of ever navigating
through all of this mist?

11:10 AM
10/5/20

The dreams won't answer-
the night is getting colder
as the shadows dance

2:33 AM
7/7/19

Perhaps I needed
a friend like me-
to save me from myself.
But all I got instead
was a foe like me-
to **** me to myself.

Tbilisi held up more
than just our broken heart.
They held our hopes and dreams,
at least until we were apart.

This Christmas you broke
my heart - not quite the present
I was expecting

1:40 PM
29/12/19

Look,
relationships can be great
but they’re not for everyone.
To be honest, coming home to the
same person every night is daunting,
even if it’s the one you love.
You may even lose a sense of who
you are because you are no longer 'you'-
but instead, you're defined by 'us'.
By definition you’re a part of something-
you share your life with someone,
you have another half,
without whom, it would imply,
you’re not complete.
And it’s okay to not be ready for that,
or to not want it ever,
or to have no idea what to feel.
But you’re not wrong or strange
for not aspiring to it and
you’re not missing out on as much
as you may think you are.
Don’t let what the others are doing
distract you from being you.
You’re doing fine, kid.

I know a
modern angel
who navigates the skies
with wings of steel
and a heart so real.

She said she
was empty.
I still thought she
was everything.

You're a dream
I want to get lost in -
One I don't wish to wake from.

This car seems to drive itself.
I no longer feel the wheel in my grasp,
nor do I see the stretch of road ahead.
But do I see the black sunset
consuming the sky above.
I notice as the colour fades,
my headlights break through
the growing darkness.
I can see every changing moment;
the car drives on

I can make poems
out of all this heartbreak we
cause to each other

7:25 PM
22/8/22

I am longing for the night-
wishing for nothing but sleep
but when the night comes,
I lay in bed,
awaiting a serenity that
isn’t so imminent.
A restlessness stirs within me,
not realizing its still hours
until dawn.

I keep returning;
the doorstep of your heart
is far too inviting tonight.
Every time, I am turned away
to face another winter
that's unforgiving,
so cold so dark,
when I am lost
without
you.

The Day you leave me-
the flowers will never smell the same,
the sun will never shine the same
in the same way that lightning
will never strike twice.

Why do you expect
life to give back what life
has taken away?

6:29 PM
12/7/21

You've learnt an art
from within your heart
so when you break mine apart
the pieces fall into
an aesthetic craft.

December is just
a month-
so why all the
gloom?

Three years already?
Ha!
Where did all
that time go?
And why do I feel so
empty?

I’d crawl
back to love
even if
it was waiting
to destroy me,
again.

Was it just a dream
or did that really happen?
I can't tell with you

5:17 PM
14/7/19

Dear diary;
there's a musical riot
erupting in my
chest tonight.
My ribs echo
with the sounds of
chaos and harmony.

I didn’t plan on dying at your feet tonight,
but here I am bleeding out
without a breath to spare.
Was I ever anything more than this to you,
a badly worded promise
failing its own intentions?
am i worth an answer?

Ruffled by feathers
of a brave bird who never
learnt how to take flight

6:10 PM
12/6/19

They say time heals all,
but I don't think that's true.
Broken hearts never completely mend,
they just learn to adapt
once the pieces
get lost
forever.

When it comes to war,
truth is the first casualty-
all else will fall next

8:33 PM
13/1/21

We all feel a little lonely
sometimes more than others
so find someone or something
that can absorb you and
make you forget that you
were ever alone.

God, I wish I were young again.
I miss being a kid, I miss the innocence,
I miss being alive and spirited,
and engrossed by everything that moves.
I’d give anything to go back;
to relive those early years..
Compared to now, it was paradise.
Look how bleak and empty
my life has become.
The same old story,
the same routine,
it never ends.
I miss the magic,
the adventure,
the uncertainty.
This roller coaster we call life
has been dropping for as long
as I can remember.
Every passing second
remains in the past.
I’ve never felt so helpless
knowing there’s no going back.
I must look forward now,
and grow into who I need to be.

Can the aura of
this dream linger with me for
a little longer?

11:25 AM
7/10/19

Why am I so preoccupied
with distracting myself
from me?

You want a haiku
but I'm still trapped in our past-
so utterly trapped

6:26 PM
9/7/19

I am forever
jealous of the nights not spent
by your side, my dear

7:44 PM
14/7/20

There was a time where we
meant the world to each other.
Those nights together seem so distant and
I'd do anything to relive those perfect moments.
I don't understand what went wrong-
you turned away and closed the door.
Believe me,
I've tried putting the pieces back together
but they always never fit.
Perhaps some people were never
meant to fit together.

she was a storm that
tore through my heart and my soul
and left me awestruck

12:01 PM
8/6/19

I adore you so much
that the joy you bring
makes a sun in my chest.
These tears of joy you bring
are as sweet as honey and
together with this sun,
they nurture the
garden of my soul.

We are all
made of stardust.
Yet you somehow seem
to shine brighter than
anyone else.

You were an angel
turned to demon
and then to stranger.
You have blessed me
and cursed me ever since
you walked away.

I have forgotten
how many cats she has but
****, are they lucky

6:24 PM
30/8/19

Oh London, you were
a dream and a nightmare all
wrapped up into one

7:37 AM
19/2/20