SOS I call-
one last plea to anyone
to come rescue me

Sometimes stars explode
and leave behind the most
beautiful nebulae in the universe-
but that is one in a billion.
Somehow you create a nebula
with every touch,
and every word.
So what does that make you?

I adore you so much
that the joy you bring
makes a sun in my chest.
These tears of joy you bring
are as sweet as honey and
together with this sun,
they nurture the
garden of my soul.

I've settled for the
memory of your smile
to give me a reason to live.
Even if I don't have you,
it doesn't matter,
your smile is enough
for me to smile in the
bleakest of mornings
and the darkest of nights.

There's a song
in my heart with a
melody that only you
can harmonize

I’m missing what we had;
love, lust - whatever you want to call it,
it doesn't matter.
What mattered was the warmth of your touch,
that angel voice that could melt my worries away,
the safety of your hand in mine,
the safety in your arms.
Call it what you will;
you could even call it a garden:
a sea of blood-red roses,
blooming, blessing all it touched.
But like many roses,
some of them had thorns.
In the end, we found ourselves torn,
pierced and wounded from our roses.
My thorns still remain,
lodged deep in my heart;
do yours still sting?
Nevertheless,
I still tend do our garden,
do you?

Tragically and tenderly-
It's the only way I knew how
to love you.

The sunflowers remind me of you.
Indeed, I crave the warmth of your body
and your vibrant soul that would
brighten each and every day.
Your light lifts shadows
from this bleak soul
and plants sunflowers
in this heart.

I want to listen to the rain,
and wash ***** dishes with you.
I want to admire the passing dogs
and maybe even get one of our own.
I want to push your grocery cart down the aisle
as we search for the contents of tonight's dinner-
laugh at you when you’re too short to reach the shelves
and be your hands to everything out of reach.
I want to exist with you and within you,
be the goosebumps that consume you
and the butterflies within your chest.
I want to look back on our photographs-
the ones that will become everything to us.
I don’t know where we’ll end up
but I do know we can make it.
You and me.
Always.

Another lover
has swept you off your feet
and now I look back
and wonder if I
even made you
or your heart
skip at all

Can the human mind
figure out the human brain?
Let's think about it

11:01 PM
28/9/19

Love is a
shout into the void-
a long wait for an echo
that may or may not come
falling back to your lips.

we found each other
by the Archibald Fountain-
what a day that was

6:59 PM
4/8/19

Dear diary;
The clock has just struck 11:11
and I find myself
wishing for her.
It's not the first time,
nor will it be
the last.

I do not belong
to a person nor a place
nor to anything

6:16 PM
7/11/20

I felt like I knew
her from another lifetime
when she caught my gaze

11:52 PM
22/7/19

When some days
are not so bad as others
but you’re still drinking
and miserable.
the inching hatred
of who you are
but not what you’ve done-
that’s depression.

Dear Diary;
I must confess
that I still dip my toes
into memories too deep.
From time to time,
joy floods back
but other times,
I drown.

Dear diary;
and dear heart;
you broke your promise
when you beat for her
again.

All this thinking,
and for what?
Nothing.

Sometimes I think I’m
not capable of feeling
the thing you call love

7:13 PM
16/10/19

Sometimes I can't let go.
If we've had fun,
chances are I'll still
think about you
from time to time.
If we were friends in high school
chances are I'll still wonder
what you're up to these days.
Those crushes will never leave-
they'll just fade away,
at least until you find a way
back into my mind.
The point is-
if I give up on someone
just know they **** well
deserved it.

I'm still trying
to describe you,
through poetry
and to explain you,
through song.
But the more I try,
the more I realize
that none of these mediums
will ever do you justice, love.

We all have demons,
but only some of us try
to hide them away

3:57 PM
29/10/20

She gives trust
and receives betrayal.
She builds walls around her heart
to shut out the all the invaders.
It's been smashed into a million pieces
a million times before.
She gathers the remnants
only to salvage her fragile heart.

Every night,
I bury myself in a grave
of blankets and nightmares.
Fortunately, it’s shallow enough
to crawl out of
every morning.

Dear Diary;
for far too long
you made me believe that
if I was not good enough for you
than I must not be good enough
for anyone else in
this world.

It is difficult for me to recall your face,
not because I do not remember,
but because of the pain it recalls.
It is not the face I remembered,
nor the one I fell in love with.
You were someone else back then,
and you may as well have had
a different face.

The sun calls to sunflowers,
just as your heart of light calls to me.
I bask in it, absorbing every ray
you put out into this world.

I don't know
what happened to Andri.
She was too good for this world-
few are.
I hope she is doing well,
wherever life took her
and I hope that she found the
anarcho-communist commune
she had always
desired.

Maybe one day
I will shed the doubt
that you sowed in me
that day you turned away.

To spend the
rest of your life with
someone who does not need you
but will love you
regardless.

I can be your man
and you can be my woman-
we can be as one.

6/6/19
9:42 PM

Every time
I tell myself
not to love you,
it feels like the entire universe
is fighting back against me.

I think I would do
anything for a one way
ticket out of here

5:44 PM
3/4/21

Sometimes, it is just
as simple as this sentence:
I miss your smile

4:39 PM
23/6/20

There is
a road leading
deep within your soul.
It may be guarded
by demons but
it's a road I
wish to
travel.

I didn't know
I needed her guidance
until she opened up her arms.
It might have been
her beauty,
it might have been
the drugs,
but with the way she read my cards,
I was convinced that she was
some sort of goddess
at one with
the universe.

Dear Diary;
It's the last day
of the year and I
think I will burst into tears
for having held them in
all year.

You plant memories
into this mind and they bloom
flowers from this heart

8:44 PM
11/8/22

I wish I could see you,
I wish I could hold you,
but we are separated and
I don't know what to do.
All I can do is try.

The bad thing about
happy endings is that they're
always at the end

6:18 AM
17/12/19

A dream about you
over this reality
is preferable

9:21 PM
31/5/19

You’re going to feel
that feeling again because
you’re going to fall in love again-
the only difference is that next time
the feeling is going to
last forever.

I've dreamt about you
too many times to tell if
that was real or not

5:24 PM
14/7/19

I didn't want to find love-
but then I found you,
and found a love so real.
but then I lost you-
That is why I didn't want
to find love.

Don’t live for the weekends,
learn to live for yourself.
Don’t write off those feelings off,
learn to be their friends.
Don’t mistake comfort for love,
learn to weld them into one.

She put stars into her soup
with a pinch of hope
and a touch of
glitter dust.

Do you fantasize
about never being heard
of ever again?

6:36 PM
7/11/20

I never care
until I care too much.