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Feb 2016 · 740
fun
Hannah Beth Feb 2016
fun
she was green eyes
and smooth thighs
his palms were rough
and his hair stood up

at the back, when i left
and went to my bed
from his
or hers
to mine
again

his and hers
hers and his
(no,
i'm not buying matching towels)

fluidity and focus
come side by side
in a darkened room and a heightened time

i like her kisses
and her hands
i like the truth in his eyes when he's sad

i'll be with her
or him or them

and i'll be with one or none or ten
when i say them, i mean the singular they
i do not mean threesomes
i am not that spicy
anyway
an ode to bisexuality and playin the field in general
i was feeling a little wild what can i say
Feb 2016 · 600
Untitled
Hannah Beth Feb 2016
i find myself wishing i could write
like i used to
write hard hitting poems that leave aches in your bones

i can't
i'm happy. i'm somewhere else, and i'm happy.
i look at old writings and i do not see me
i see a girl who was struggling to live and to breathe

six months ago, i'd take it all back
i'd gather up my poems and i'd stuff them in the trash
six months ago, i'd want to forget
but now all i see is development

i do not recognize that version of myself
but now,
i know it is for the best
i know that without our past selves,
we'd be nowhere near our present

and i quite like her
i like her strength the best
i like that even when it's not needed
i know it's served her well
guyz i made it i'm happy
Hannah Beth Oct 2015
I thought I knew what missing someone was
an ache
in the deepest pit of your stomach
that hits you like a truck - trucks hit you all at once
I was mistaken.

I thought I knew what missing someone was
And so
I sat listening to these songs and
That jumper I picked out today - it didn't fit perfect but it
brought me comfort.

I thought I knew what missing someone was
It's crept
All up and upon me so slowly, so
stealthy and disguised, our everyday things - they each piled inside of me
one by one.

I thought I knew what missing someone was
And until
I met you, it wasn't all bad
But I am wrapped in us - our clothes. our pictures and songs.
I miss you.

I miss you
I see now
That before you
I'd never missed
any one person
Not a little -
Not a once -
Not an ever -
Not at all.

I can only hope you don't miss me
Because the thought of you feeling this
Is so much worse
Than to not be thought of at all
I'm happy in this new place but sometimes I remember certain people and everything goes a little grey
Sep 2015 · 704
6/3/14
Hannah Beth Sep 2015
it's an odd feeling
To pass someone by
and to know that their favourite colour is green
and that they like only one sugar in  their tea
and to remember slurred words that fell from their mouth
and to remember
that you know your way
around the dustiest corners of their house
to know that they hate being tickled
on the curves of their hips
or to know that you've placed countless kisses
upon their hopelessly chapped lips
but mostly it's just sad
to pass someone by
and to look at them knowing
that never again
will they stop to say hi
a poem I wrote a year and a half ago, found in a notebook, never put it up
Jul 2015 · 1.8k
Again
Hannah Beth Jul 2015
I'd almost forgotten the smell of your perfume
Though it makes sense
That even the most faded of memories
Must have a curfew
Nnnnggghhhblehggghh
Jul 2015 · 1.1k
Dusty, lonely things
Hannah Beth Jul 2015
On a polished oak desk
Wrapped in a thin dust-jacket
Lies an unused pen,
A blank sheet of paper,
And an empty pack of cigarettes.

I used to think that if these things could breathe, they would be loneliness personified.

But that's wrong.
If they lived, they wouldn't be lonely at all.
Jun 2015 · 913
Sunshine
Hannah Beth Jun 2015
Golden words make
For a golden painted life

A little tarnished,
Yes.

But surely in reach,
And surely in sight.
Positivity is the key to success yo
Jun 2015 · 788
"Grown-ups"
Hannah Beth Jun 2015
You sat on coloured carpets
As a child
Wondering when the time would come
To grasp certain four lettered mysteries -
Titled love, life. Both questions for another day.

You stand now on technicolour floors
Painted, though not quite as vivid
Manufactured this time round - glass mirror-bred tricks of the light.

And all those mysteries from so long ago - far off questions left for a far off day - they baffle you just the same.
nearly nineteen and still clueless as hell
May 2015 · 972
Recovery
Hannah Beth May 2015
Little changes are adding up like the
Drip drop of water that pools in the bathroom sink
from a rusty metal tap not quite stoppered.

And I am glad it is opened.

I am glad to look up from the little pool of changes turned large
To flick my eyesight skywards and head on into the mirror that steams up with condensation as I breathe

and I'm me

I breathe, and I know I am alive.
I look in this mirror and just like all the water droplets I see all the changes

And they're in me.

The tap is gushing freely since the day I took control
I took residence in the drivers seat and found the courage to twist the metal between my fingers and let it be how it is to be

And I am healthy

I see lights in my eyes again
I see a shine in my hair
I see new length to it too
I see clothes chosen with flair

I see colour flood my skin and a smile that shows teeth
I see red painted lips and weight off my hips
I see confidence in my stance, upright and straight
I see peace and tranquility less smothered by hate

But most of all, and finally
I see what I have always wanted
I see, and I know that if I am not free
I am soon to be

(I see recovery.)
May 2015 · 958
An Exchange (5w)
Hannah Beth May 2015
"It's unparalleled."
"What is?"
"You."
Just a piece of dialogue that stuck with me while I was writing
May 2015 · 421
Sonder
Hannah Beth May 2015
Alive is the energy of a newborn mutt
Running in circles and covered in soot
A black blanket so messy, acquired only through
The curiosity found often inside the world’s new.

Lonely like the woman who stands in her shop
That’s withered from business the place has forgot
She peers out the window and stares for a while
She thinks of better times from when she was a child

Smitten as the boy who spends his last notes
And then sits at the harbour and watches the boats
He gives to his friend the new present he’s bought
He hopes it’s not too obvious – he loves him quite a lot

Lost as the accountant who has lost their position
They sit at their desk and think – what a sick competition
After all this time, they realise that they have been
Sabotaging their colleagues for higher numbers on a screen

Hopeful as the student who’s just come home
She rifles through the post and reaches for her phone
She rips open the letter and her eyes shine with glee
And she keys in the numbers of some students she’ll soon see

Broken as the child who is hit and abused
They cower in fear of some anger lit fuse
They hide beneath the sheets, into a ball they soon curl
As they dream and they smile in their own fiction world

These are the people I see day after day
I see them in myself and I hope they’re okay
Sonder:  n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.
May 2015 · 349
starting over
Hannah Beth May 2015
Where is my suitcase?

Idolized is the inanimate idea
That surely to succeed
a Plan is what you need
we all know –
a Plan is a Degree.

Only half the space is occupied - surely I own more clothes than this.

Is it too much to ask –
Freedom?
Apparently so
For to avoid ***** looks and shaking heads
My mouth must spout some *******
Concerning myself
The strangest stranger of all
And the make belief notion that I know her.

www.google.com
-
Aer lingus
-
One way

No, I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
Yes, I want to do something with my life.
No, I haven’t picked a course yet.
No, I don’t have anything in mind right now.
Yeah. No, no. Not yet. No.

”Your boarding pass please.”

Whatever happened to living?

”Please ensure your seatbelt is in place for takeoff.”

It’s a bit sad, really.

”So, where are you from?”
“Does it matter?”
May 2015 · 1.3k
Future (10w)
Hannah Beth May 2015
Something good, something new
It always lies ahead for you
I try to think this way as often as I can
Really helps :)
Apr 2015 · 1.3k
A different kind of flight
Hannah Beth Apr 2015
There are planes up there
They are soaring against electric blue

They are made of such wonder

Yet all I can think is how lovely life is
Down here on the ground, with you.
I swore i wouldn't post a mushy lurv poem yet here I am
Hannah Beth Apr 2015
I want to float,
yet moreso than floating I want to fade
into the blackness of the universe beyond earth and
all there is to roam in its folds, to fly beneath and above the
stars that shine against blankets of navy that
swallow them all up come sunrise

And waking up ignites such horror and moreso
than anything in those foggy minutes
between sleep and wakefulness is
the fatigue that sparks my everlasting
longing to jet off among the galaxies and
to ****** well live there til our time ends --

Never to return --

for it is far better out there where it is so close to untouched,
than here,
smothered,
in this false darkness following sleep.
a drip drop drabble of messy thoughts concerning my worrying inability to wake up these days
Apr 2015 · 783
10w
Hannah Beth Apr 2015
10w
Who knew
Life could be so

blue
without
you

(who?)
Apr 2015 · 489
wandering
Hannah Beth Apr 2015
I am walking
I walk and I see and so suddenly
I am not seeing and I am falling
Down a well and it's deep
I grasp around me
I bump my head and I scratch my arm
I fall too fast and lose sight of the stars
One by one they flicker out
Of sight and life like the speech from my mouth
As it is stifled by leaves and debris from the fall
And I stare up from this well at trees so tall
They are vivid and alive and so far away
I panic and wonder if I'll ever escape
I fell down the well and I can't find my breath
I wish for a ladder, for some help, it's a stretch
I know this, it's true

But I stayed there for you

Years ago, on your kitchen floor
When you thought life would stop if I walked out the door
Now I'm reaching for hands to pull myself out
And I pray you're still here
That you'll throw some rope down
Apr 2015 · 964
Building Blocks
Hannah Beth Apr 2015
the soft lisp in my speech
it bothered me
the not quite there
length of my hair
and the gap between my two front teeth

the fear that shook my bones at an adult's vicious tone
the tightness of the chest when I didn't fit among the rest
The smitten talk of boys to which I couldn't quite relate
Longing looks in the mirror in lost hopes of losing weight

Long hours spent at night writing fiction far away
The hooded eyes come morning when I wasn't quite awake
The look in classmates eyes when teachers pulled me aside
Questions of home and finding help and the reason I was so **** quiet

Not knowing just why
I kept hidden my poisoned life
It ripped me up inside

But given time
I have realised

All these little things
It is true -
They do bother me
They do, they do.

Yet without every piece
Every burning memory

No less than you are you
I simply would not be

Me
coming to terms with a lot of nasty stuff and realising that all of my experiences be they incredible or toxic still make me a fabulous as **** person  and stronger if anything :)
Apr 2015 · 652
a star named sirius
Hannah Beth Apr 2015
every thing
is foggy
and every
thing is
new and
every thing
is blinding
me it's
every thing
but you
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Mar 2015 · 508
Me
Hannah Beth Mar 2015
Me
I want to be -

What?

That is the problem. I simply want to be.

To clarify -
I wish to be me.

See, me - it is  not the easiest thing to free. Eighteen years of uncertainty, of broken puzzle-piece searches through fear, love, art, what have you -

All for the chance to grasp even an inkling of identity;

Of me.

But, look -
I did it.
A start, anyhow. I saw my shadow, my outline,
and without hesitation
It was seized.
I gripped it tight
Refusing to let something sought so long
Slip through my fingers like water would fall.

Yet I lack time
I lack space
I lack ability,
Opportunity,
To break free of old restraints

Me - it is just infuriatingly

Beyond reach

I see you, me. I know what I need.

Yet I lay here imprisoned in a world worn by greed
Worked like a slave til eyes droop with fatigue

All I need is a door
A little room to escape

Room to breathe; breathing space

To find residence elsewhere;
Grab "me" on the way.

(Then, maybe then - I'll find peace. Some day.)
Bit of a long one!
Feb 2015 · 751
4:23am - Realisations
Hannah Beth Feb 2015
I am not all too sure
Of the point at which
Night turns bright
To morning twilight
All I know
In this hour of twenty-three minutes
Past four
Is solid fact that keeps
Me awake in wonder;
I have only now come to see
A mind like yours
(Correction - your mind. Singular.)
Is unlike any I have explored
If you'd forgive me for not seeing so
Sooner
I hope you'd allow me a tour
(It's perfectly okay if not. I only feel as though you and I - we could be more.)
Late night/early morning thoughts
Feb 2015 · 806
Cellar Door
Hannah Beth Feb 2015
There is a boy over there

            No more than seventeen

No less than insane

(To some, that is. Some who can't see.)

This boy has a friend
(And yet no friends at all)

Who wears a great big mask at night
And makes Donnie feel small

Two universes,
One fate that can't be fought

versus a lonely boy,
a lonely girl,
and all of their genius thoughts
A poem for my favourite film :)
Feb 2015 · 437
More dreams, please
Hannah Beth Feb 2015
So many young bodies aching to wander
From here
To yonder
In circles no more

And I wish for packed bags
Closed doors
Shut behind me

Like me
I am sure you long for this with a passion just as bright

I give you no blame -
Escape is sweet.
****, is it sweet

Far too sickly to feel true
To be real as fabric that can be felt twixt *******
Like something only grasped at
Up high in the blue

So I'll fly there if I have to
I will, I will, I will -
Jan 2015 · 739
look up
Hannah Beth Jan 2015
I may be far from a sober mind
And you may be far away, dear
But maybes are made to be built on
And things can only be built up from here
I'm not drunk you're drunk
#hi
Jan 2015 · 628
Demons to dreams
Hannah Beth Jan 2015
There's a great big monster in my back garden
He lingers.
He creaks like floorboards under heavy feet with every wind that rustles leaves

He cannot be slain
but surely
He may be held at bay

Befriended, even. Maybe
Someday.

It is of vital importance, I think.
To know that nightmares are often never swayed
But may be moulded and morphed
Reformed like fresh clay

Turn those demons to dreams, you
Begin today
It will all be possible,
Sooner or eventually
Jan 2015 · 1.3k
Spark
Hannah Beth Jan 2015
Nights like this
Nights like shining starbursts in black abyss

When sweaty palms arise not from fear
But butterflies ten thousandfold

And the taste of her lips
on yours
on a lamplit January road
Still lingers come daybreak

Those are the nights I stick around for
last night made me happy
Dec 2014 · 1.0k
Cherry Bomb
Hannah Beth Dec 2014
She's like flames in your heart and ice on bare skin and the finest creation built of heaven and sin

(how do you even know all of this?)

A smile like ambrosia
leaves you with nothing but
Amnesia

And an unsettled mind

You know nothing of her
But the shape of the prints
Her lips have left
On the side of your neck
Dunno what this is
Dec 2014 · 731
Nervous
Hannah Beth Dec 2014
Making the journey
From thought to word -

Grasping at nervous jitters that
Shake my fingers like the rattle
Of an infant

And telling them as firm I can -
"STOP,"
"Don't,"
"this should be easy."

Is about as easy as mending a shattered glass whole


Speaking up.
No, no. No.
Speaking at all.
It is no less than a marathon.
And the marathon is done, eventually. I've spoken. It's fine.
(Managed a smile, too. The shaking's almost gone.)

Yet the race, it remains invisible. No trophies or medals
For this marathon.

I pray to gods I don't even know.
I wish the sweating gone
falling across my skin in waves and tumbles
It's far harder to hide when they come along

(The shaking is easily concealed.
Two smokes - nonexistent. ****.
Sorted. Done.)

But talking was never meant to be medicated

Bury this anxiety. Bury it dead and gone.

I'm finished with just getting by

The world is mine from dawn.
A big f*** you to the devil that is social anxiety
Dec 2014 · 424
a world of my own
Hannah Beth Dec 2014
I yearn to belong

To feel a little less...

off.

To pull my head from the clouds
Join the others on the ground

I'll be ready some day
I won't shake or cry

We'll get along eventually,

Reality & I
i have an awful habit of avoiding reality
Hannah Beth Dec 2014
She wanders graveyards
Weaves through headstones
To and Fro

in the morning's early hours
to the cold graveyard
she'll go

far from dark or morbid
She just likes to read the names
Imagines lives and lovers and cities
Behind dates on marble graves

Quite often she will worry
For the souls beneath her feet
She fears for those forgotten
Those she never got to meet

She does not weep
But for them she wishes
For all those deserving, she thinks,
A second life could be given

"Taken too soon,"
She reads from the grave

Words she's never found so true

Until she had nothing
But a picture
trapped in a shattered glass frame

"I won't let it happen.
Not now.
Not to you.
(How could anyone let a soul like yours be forgotten?)
...
I think that the earth would stop spinning
If I ever stopped missing you."
bittuva sad one
Dec 2014 · 1.3k
Unrequited
Hannah Beth Dec 2014
She is light on water
And that bite in the air
That wakes you

It wakes you and you're alive and you can't help but breathe

And then she grins and
She hugs you
Her hands at your neck
And the breathing has stopped

And you know then
Things can't go back

To before
It was so ******* simple

A hug was just a hug and a kiss was nothing more

Now there's fire in your veins when she walks through the door
Dec 2014 · 680
Start Again
Hannah Beth Dec 2014
I need to escape

I sit and I stare at scenes I've seen so long
Landscapes ingrained in my brain like a burn to the skin

And all I can think, all I can muster
All I can dream and cry for on this ******* lonely earth

Is change

Give me the unknown,

I am begging.

Give me fear and sweat down my spine
Give me aching bones and frozen blood
Give me heartbreak beyond anything I've ever known

Please just let me be
Free

Hand me a ticket to anywhere but here
I'm really not at all fond of the way my life back home is, frustration in a poem pretty much
Nov 2014 · 1.2k
living life on fast forward
Hannah Beth Nov 2014
my life has moved into overdrive

vision running in crooked circles faster than I can breathe

Sinister forces smothering, weighing down on my chest and
somehow I can't breathe
and all I want is rest

I am dunked underneath
Such vicious hot water and it burns
Time slows in those moments but I still can't seem to breathe
All I breathe is hot water ripped from the sea

And yet
I am alive and I am kicking
And I know I am stronger than most

All I can do is sit tight
And hope I'll find my pace
Some day
Nov 2014 · 1.5k
32 minutes of misfit ecstasy
Hannah Beth Nov 2014
You don't quite fit and
Things are far from right
We are key and lock mismatched
crushed together in fits of frustration and spite

But it's new
(Trust me) (I have seen next to nothing like you before)
And I've always longed to explore

Stay for a while
And I promise, (I promise), to make the most
of this delinquent delight we've found

Before we've been presented
With our separate open doors

Before we're forced from our little headspace in the clouds
Something newwwWWwWw
Nov 2014 · 401
(5w)
Hannah Beth Nov 2014
I look forward to joy
Trying to stay optimistic :)
Nov 2014 · 462
Empty maps
Hannah Beth Nov 2014
Every single part of you
Oh lord, it feels so foreign and new
The most refreshing wave crashed upon me.

We step slowly through stray pebbles and foam
There is so much still unexplored
Yet I have found all these little crevices

and they have started to feel like home.
Oct 2014 · 4.8k
Candles and Constellations
Hannah Beth Oct 2014
This candlelight has been witness to both hatred and love
To shouts of anger born from throats reddened raw
Smashed mugs and smashed china and half-mended smashed hearts
But to passion, forgiveness, old flames both rekindled and small.

Candlelight lit from matches or flint
Such lovely low light supplied to romantic nothings
(“Does it really matter which?” you’d asked me then, eyes to the sky.
And I’d nodded, because it did.)

And I remember the first time I saw you by candlelight.
Shattered bulbs had left us with nothing but flames under stars
And I’m glad I first found you by such unforgettable light
Not lackluster memory that passed me by
Because now, alone beneath imaginary hatches
You light up the room by candle wax and boxed matches.
This really came out of nowhere, hope someone enjoys
Oct 2014 · 14.6k
weekend longing
Hannah Beth Oct 2014
I want smoke in
my lungs and gin
in my veins and
lips on my
lips and chills down
my spine to feel
nothing but
pleasure blurred
dreams sweet and
brief I don't want
a thing but craving
and need
short n quick burst of frustration at boring weekdays
Oct 2014 · 964
10w
Hannah Beth Oct 2014
10w
I don't love you

but one fine day
I could
Oct 2014 · 1.1k
School days
Hannah Beth Oct 2014
There's aching backs and dampened clothes
And sleepless nights pull at countless eyes
Words muttered through rusted locker doors
Slammed shut
Words that can't help but be heard

And hot angry voices chip at young minds like axes to ice
All racing to claim such a hollow little prize
Five days turn to haze
Then come weekend,
Drank away.

Because it's not about learning, is it? Not anymore.

It's about getting an A.
Oct 2014 · 924
10w
Hannah Beth Oct 2014
10w
I long for adventure with you,
over and over
again.
Oct 2014 · 1.0k
Coping
Hannah Beth Oct 2014
Some say
That with victory – a continuity is required.
To win, you must, win, and win again
You claim each battle as your own ‘til life
meets its end.

I bask in these triumphs as much as the next
Relish the sick clang as the hilt gripped between my fingers
Wobbles with each and every blow
To an enemy’s weakened defence

As I watch rival fortresses vanish
In the smouldering chimney puff
That follows the blaze of the bomb

                        just like that.
Boom. Do you see that? Look. It’s gone.

Last moments in castle courtyards
As medals of valour are draped
Round the veins of my neck.
(Look what I can do. I am powerful.
                                                       ­  Or so I thought.
)

No soldier is prepared for this.
The battle of the mind
Sharpened sword is useless
Throw your armour to the floor
No protection can be given
Clouds swell like balloons and blacken the corners
Of your brain
Eating from the edge like parasites
And this, I fight unarmoured.
Unarmed
And petrified.

So no.
I can’t say I agree.
To me
A victory
Does not entail an ounce of continuity.

For myself, any achievement
Is a success
No matter how large
How small
How scattered or random
Or spaced over time
If I can make it through the day
With a smile on my face
Sweet Victory, it’s mine.
Perrrrrrrrrsooonaaaaaaal shiiiiaaaat.
Sep 2014 · 1.6k
Untitled
Hannah Beth Sep 2014
If only life were as romantic
Come day
As it seems to be at half past three
Seen through a clouded haze
Of early morning mist
Faded street light
And a plume of cigarette smoke
Sep 2014 · 916
caught red handed
Hannah Beth Sep 2014
there are stains of paint trapped in the rolls of her sleeves
like the fly that lives
in my cobwebbed shed
little fragile splatters of creativity

And I can't help but notice how
The light dances on her face
Not a waltz or a ballet
But newfound art unrecognised
and a beauty all the same

all these words fall from her mouth
My neck is burned raw with garden sunshine
I can't help but feel like the heat on my skin
Has moved to my cheeks
Like the red of her lips

She's caught sight of it all
Sports a childlike grin
For the first time in weeks
It is in her eyes that it swims

And she asks what I'm looking at
And I smile then, too.

"What am I looking at?
...
Well, it's definitely not you."
Something different :)
Sep 2014 · 594
Things previously Unseen
Hannah Beth Sep 2014
You gave me the morning sunshine that filters
Through dew-drop leaved ceilings above
And all of the shadows and pictures once missed -

And You were the one
Who showed me the sky
When no one had bothered to look up at night -

You gave me the courage to plunge
Beneath salty waters
To feel the frigid water soak through my clothes -

You inspired me to embrace
The cold and the wind and the heat and the ice
Because how can you know someone if you don’t know their all?

You were the first to help me to open my eyes
And not to tell me or to force
And for that I am grateful

*You are one of a kind.
Feel free to interpret as you wish :)
Sep 2014 · 928
I fear nostalgia
Hannah Beth Sep 2014
I have slept in a forest
I have kissed in the rain
Set fire to plastic
With nothing to gain
I have stared at the stars
From a trampoline
In the dead of the night
On a ***** blurred Halloween
I have lain on the roof
At the break of dawn
With a then best friend
Now a memory long gone
I have experimented
More than I’d like to admit
Known the taste of his tongue
Or the touch of her lips
I have woken up in places
Seen never before
Had a sea of regrets
Regretted no more
In less than four years I have
Lived a life fuller than most
And looked down on by many
They turn up their noses
A life ruled by
Sheer impulse mistaken
For utter stupidity
But I’m scared
I am petrified
These days won’t last
To be eighteen forever
Is all I ask
basically me just being an  overly sentimental teenager who doesn't wanna stop going to parties n making dumb decisions
Sep 2014 · 1.2k
Rough Waters
Hannah Beth Sep 2014
I sit and the sea surrounds me
My hair and body and face
Jagged rocks that cut
Glassy surface like hot
Steel through butter
And sprinkled sea foam
Envelopes itself in waves
Over and over
And over once more
Like never ending blankets
Strewn on the floor
And there is a song I don’t know
It buzzes far off while
The sky turns the water
Black navy blue
It drips and dribbles
Little ink drops
That envelop the waves
The stones
And the rocks
I spent my whole day by the sea today with friends and a few cans and it was honestly so lovely so being the sap i am, i wrote a poem
Sep 2014 · 790
possibility
Hannah Beth Sep 2014
Leave a door open for us
Even a crack will do

And I'll leave my window latch unlocked

****, boy
I really do miss you.
Feeling rather melancholy tonight
Sep 2014 · 583
January 11th.
Hannah Beth Sep 2014
5:58 pm.
The tortures of the week
are bookended at last.
The sun has gone to slumber
Hoodie zipped and a layer
Of crimson lipstick;
I am out the door.

6:15 pm.
Numb hands clutch each other like lovers
there's a wind that snips like scissors
The train is late.
I wait.
Just another weekend, anyway.

6:17 pm.
Warm breath gushes from an open mouthed train
I step inside.
Bottles clink at cold feet as my bag is lain.

6:20 pm.
The train stops.
Shudders.

6:22 pm.
It's moving again.

7:00 pm.
Miles from home
I've entered my mini weekend world
That gnawing weekday feeling lifts from my chest at last

7:12 pm.
We walk, the six of us.
Up the hill,
Turn left.
And there's the woods.

7:14 pm.
"Does anyone know how to start a campfire?"
"I can't see a ****** thing."

7:45 pm.
Orange flames spit at the sky
Illuminating the branches above
A criss-cross mesh gives cover so little
To six cherry red cigarette ends.

8:32 pm.
The clinking bottles are
gone
thrown in a bush?
I think
I may
have drunk each
one. or more?
(Who knows)
I do.

8:45 pm.
I explore.
No one to guide
But five pale faces
moonlit and smiling and tripping on twigs

I finally feel I can join in their smiles, too.

9:01 pm.
I don't know these faces of moonlight all too well
But they're starting to feel like home.

10:32 pm.
A change of plan
We stagger though the door
Of her empty house.
I count 8 of us now,
I thank my lucky stars
I've spare clothes packed
And bask in the warmth
Of a new friend's house.

11:06 pm.
Sat on cramped carpet floor
I smile as the warmth fills my lungs
A buzzing high replaces faded intoxication
I pass it on
And am given a shoulder to rest upon.
(I'm so happy. Wow.)

11:48 pm.
My head is so fuzzy.
And the quiet boy from school
Sits across the room
Him and I
We're far more alike than I'd ever have known
And I'd never have known
If not for tonight.

1:15 am.
I never want this to end.

1:30 am.
She plays her hushed guitar
As I lie on her shoulder
She's so beautiful

I didn't know she could sing.

I wish she knew.
I sit back on the floor.
(She strums her guitar
And sings her last line
In a voice so **** quiet;
'Where is my mind?')

2:45am.
I never knew how different a film could be
Surrounded by friends
And high as the sky.

3:33 am.
I sleep.

5:02 am.
I wake.
The boy waves
From the side of the room
A silence not uncomfortable
It almost feels like June.

6:58 am.
I go to sleep once more.
And I'm happy.
I'm so happy.
At last.
A slightly longer poem I wrote about the most memorable day of when i was 17. What I thought to be just another weekend at first soon turned into one of the happiest, most peaceful nights of my life, and I'm not particularly sure why, but I hope I captured it relatively well.
Sep 2014 · 566
10w
Hannah Beth Sep 2014
10w
Turn the corner.

You'll find
Endless sunshine
for your mind.
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