I don't know
How to tell you
Just how much
I love you

How do you
Tell someone that
You think about them
Every ******* day
That you want
To be with them
Every ******* night
That you want
To come home to them
After every shift
And do their
Stinky laundry
Cook their meals
Wash their dishes

But it doesn't
Just stop there
You want them
To love you
The way
You love them
Because the love
That you're ******* feeling
Is so intense
It would be
A **** shame
For it
To not be returned
Love better be
Return to sender
Because I want
All the love
That I give
BACK
I want that ****
BACK
But from someone else
I want someone
To love me
The way I love them
That would be nice
For once

Minnehaha Park is hot in the summer
Even by the water
Who knew it would be so hot
Even down by the water?
But all of it is hot

And there are acorns everywhere
Scattered on the ground
Below our butts as we try to sit
And have a little picnic
On a brightly checkered blanket
Between two tall trees
That tower above us
And grant us shade
While pelting acorns down
Into our cheese and crackers

And fancy rosé wine
Whatever that means
I thought wine was wine
But I guess they have personalities
Like people
Like couples
Some things pair well together
Like my crisp pineapple and cheap ******' pizza
Or your stinky blue cheese and weird cookie-like *******
Like us

And the cheese sits on a green marble slab
Elegant as ****
Because that's just who you are
But that marble slab sits on top of a pizza box
Simple as ****
Because that's just who I am
And we pair well
On this hot *** summer day
While we drink rosé
And "I love you" is all we say
Because sometimes we don't have to say anything
We're okay without words
In the middle of a park
On a hot *** summer day

Ever since we met
I haven't gone a day
Without loving you
I haven't known a day
Without your name
Written all over my ******* heart
It didn't take me long at all
To figure out that
You're kind of the one
The one I want to be with
You let me paint your nails
You think it's cute when I chow down on a burger
You tell me you love me when you're deep inside of me
You do face masks with me
You say my snort is adorable
And it all feels different
When I tell you I love you
It all feels true
For once in my life
Compared to all those times
In the back of my impala
When I said it just to get them to ***
So I could go home already
No this time it means something
And I've meant it since day one
When I said it in the laundry room
You looked back and smiled
While I blushed up a storm
The hurricane hit me hard
And changed my life forever

The candle smells like pink hibiscus
And the flame bounces a bit
As the fan waves past
I play with his chest hair
Nuzzle into his side
"Will you leave me if I have cancer?"
I ask
"No"
He says
"I like to think I'm not that much of a cuck."
He says
He strokes my side
Kisses my forehead
The bright white light from the TV shines off my pasty back
"Guess what?"
He says
"I love you.
Even if you have cancer,
Even if you don't have cancer,
I love you."
My exposed chest shakes
As I forget how to breathe
He runs his fingers over my *******
My possibly cancerous *******
My soon to be nonexistent *******
My figure defining *******
That I love so much
That I'm petrified to even think about losing
He holds them
He holds me
A tear falls down my face
But he wipes it away before it can get anywhere
Before it can fall
On my possibly cancerous chest

I never knew his last name
But I still remember his face
I still remember
The way he grabbed my neck
And pushed me down
Because he loved me
He got off
And I got scared
Because he loved me
And I was desperate
In his ****** apartment
On the tan colored L-shaped couch
While Nickelodeon played in the background
Covering up the sound of my painful moans
"I'm tired"
I say
"I've never done this before"
I say
"I haven't shaved in a while"
"I don't feel ****"
"I just got off work"
But I'll do it if I love him,
He says
He'll even wear a ******,
He says

I can't muster up the courage to cry
Even though you're supposed to cry when it hurts
He doesn't look at me when he's done
Just tells me to go
He loves me
But doesn't want me around
In case his roommates come home
That would be kind of awkward
To catch someone in the middle of ****** a girl
A girl who's tired
Who's never done this before
Who hasn't shaved in a while
Who doesn't feel ****
Who just got off work
Yeah, that would be kind of awkward

I threw up all over the floor at Planned Parenthood
Waiting for this ******* mammogram
This routine procedure
That could tell me whether or not I have cancer
Whether or not I have to cut off my cleavage
And find another source of sexuality
This routine procedure
That could casually change my life
And royally **** me over
This routine procedure
That kept me up through the night
Tossing and turning and bawling my eyes out
This ******* routine procedure
That I've been waiting 20 minutes for
Surrounded by other women
Who are probably getting the exact same thing done
And they're totally ******* fine
Nobody else is retching like a ******
Because this is a routine procedure
And I have nothing to be worried about

Let's get drunk on whiskey
Stay up until 4 am having ***
Laughing about everything
Kissing passionately under the lights
Our shadows bouncing off the walls
Our bodies bouncing off each other

Let's snort some *******' *******
While listening to that Eric Clapton song
Do lines off our bodies
While we eat ****** Chinese
And watch Netflix documentaries

Let's drive off at dawn
A full tank of gas
With the sunroof wide open
Singing a mix of random throwback tunes
Talking about things we don't tell anyone else
Guzzling coffee as the miles tick on

Let's buy a plane ticket
Destination : any ******* where
Pack a bag and leave for a week
Feed each other delicacies
Walk along the cobblestones at midnight
Go to places we can't even pronounce
Sleep in all day
Stay up all night

Let's be together for a long *** time
Forever only means so much
I mean a long *** time
That's more measurable
Measure the memories
Through tears and laughter
Kisses and meals
Cuddles and dates
I'd like a long *** time of that
But not just with anybody
Only with you

You like mangos
And plums
Anime
And documentaries
******' Monty Python
And classy cuisine

God knows when we fell in love
Somewhere between the face masks
And the endless laundry maybe?
The late night runs to Perkins
Or the early morning love making?
It's a beautiful blur of memories
That dance along my heart and mind
That I wouldn't trade for anything

You like olives
And cold brew
Sleeping in
And video games
Staying inside
And the smell of coconuts

It's never been taxing to love you
It's the easiest thing I can do
You make love fun
Between the out of town drives
Hole in the wall coffee dates
And movie marathon nights
It's all that heart warming Hallmark ****
That you get in a greeting card

You like donuts
And sandwiches
Memes
And making love
Cool breezes
And me

It's a delicate thing
To talk about suicide
Apparently you can't talk about it
Without wanting to do it
You can't reminisce upon the feelings
Without falling down the hole

Even if you're feeling
Ten feet tall
Fully equipped
Metal fists
At the ready
You still can't talk about it

Other people don't want to hear about it
They all assume
That you'll do it
Even if you don't want to
Even if your metal fists
Are feeling secure
No shake in sight
It'll make other people
Uncomfortable
Insecure
Scared
Even when you're not

Sometimes you feel kinda foggy
Your hand passes in front of you
But you don't even notice it
That kind of foggy
And it doesn't really matter if you get up and do ****
Or stay in bed and wither away
Because when you pass your hand in front of you
You don't even notice it
Nothing happened

And there's this buzzing in your ears
A weird buzz
That isn't quite a buzz
Almost like a speaker turned all the way up
With no sound coming out
So it's just the sound of the speaker
But it's real faint
In the back of your mind
Foggy like your hand
Passing in front of your face
You don't even notice it

And there's people walking around you
Apparently
But they just kind of brush past
They're *******
They don't say much
And you don't really feel them jar you
They're all foggy
Like your hand

Do you ever think of me?
When we're hundreds of miles apart
When we're sleeping in two separate beds
When I'm crying into my pillow
When I tell you I miss you
When you're sitting in class
When water runs over your body in the shower
When you crush garlic for your dinner
Do you think of me?
Throughout your daily life
As the time ticks in your ear
And moments continue to pass
Do I cross your mind?
Am I something you want to think of?

I know how much I love you
But do I know how much you love me?
Is it but an illusion
That I create
Because I love being in love?

Take me back to the night we met
When the day was hot
And the air was humid
The sky was crisp
And the clouds were nonexistent
Our skin spotted with sweat

My life was sprawled out in front of us both
My emotions were high
But you didn't care
You listened to it all
Stories
Memories
About my family
About my friends
About my random little trinkets
Things that meant nothing to you
And everything to me
You listened to it all

Take me back to that night
When we cleaned sticky **** off the wall
With Magic Erasers and Goo Gone
When we did nine loads of laundry
And you saw all the underwear I own
But you still didn't care

The air was silent
But we filled it with our voices
With laughter
With nervous excitement
Coming from the first date
Take me back to that night
When I first fell in love

You keep my mind off the things I want to forget
The ******* in my life that tells me I'm not worth it
The reasons why I should **** myself
You remind me that I'm special
That you love me
And when you tell me that
I don't need to cut myself
I don't need to try to drive off the bridge
I forget those feelings altogether
I forget the terror that comes with the rain
I forget the anxiety that comes with sitting next to strange men
I forget the tears that come with feeling unlovable
I forget the hangover that comes from yesterday's gripes
I ******* forget it
Because you look in my eyes
And tell me that I'm special
That you love me
And for the first time in my life
I believe it
I don't have to lie to myself
While waiting for the next best thing
Because you're it

In America
You're either rich or ******
Or privileged enough
To be ****** by the rich
Medical bills
Car insurance
Groceries
Utilities
Student loans
******* that nobody can afford
Yet everybody pays for
Because this is America
And we need to have it all
In America
I'm ******
Because I'm not a millionaire
And that's the kind of salary you need
In order to survive

The human heart is worth about a million dollars
But you get mine for free
Not everyone can afford it
I'm not a good match for just anyone
But you get my heart for free
My whole heart
What a concept
Do you realize it?
How lucky you are
To get a million dollar heart
For free?
A heart that will always unconditionally love you
A heart that will always kiss your forehead to see if you have a fever
A heart that will always remember your tea order
A heart that will always do your laundry
A heart that will always wipe your beard clean
A heart that will always rub your back as you're falling asleep
A heart that will always laugh at your silly jokes
A heart that will always love you unconditionally
And you get it for free
You get it
Just because you show up to the party
You get it
Just because of who you are
A million dollar heart
For free

I never said goodbye
I hope that's alright
I mean,
I know it's not,
I guess I'm asking for forgiveness
Because I never said goodbye
I was too preoccupied
To get up
For one last embrace
One last kiss
I couldn't really be bothered
Until it was too late
Until you were ten feet under
Ten years later

I never said goodbye
Only to the grass
And the metal plate on top of you
In the Garden of Serenity
Next to the fountain
And the trees
That humid June day
My dress a shade of orange
I know you would have liked
A shade of orange
I wore the day you were buried
A shade of orange
Similar to the flowers I put on top of you
A shade of orange
That never left my blurry eyes as the tears fell down over you

"I love waking up next to you,"
he says.
My eyes heavy
And heart full
I feel my toes wiggle
While he embraces me
And kisses my smiling cheeks
Our bare bodies under the covers
Dark and light
Wrapped up in each other
My flabby stomach
His toned thighs
My squishy sides
His chiseled chest
Euphoria washes over me
As he tells me again
That he loves waking up next to me
That he loves my little hands
That he loves my adorable cheeks
That he loves my cute smile
That he loves me

I didn't think you'd come back
I thought I scared you off
I thought you'd found someone else
Found a happier life
But here we are
In your little futon bed
Trying to stifle these
"I miss you" tears
Tears I never thought I'd see
Because you have a stupid stoic heart
And you don't let anyone see you cry
I didn't think your heart would let you say those words
I didn't think your heart would let you feel at all
But seeing you cry
Just made me cry
And seeing me cry
Just made you cry

The whole conversation was ******
By tears I thought I'd never ever see
And emotions I thought you'd never feel
But someone broke the glass
And sand started to pour out
As we wrapped into each other
And became a beach
With waves of tears splashing over each other's bodies
Our emotional sand mixing together
Just a shore of
I love you's
I missed you's
Why did you leave?
You hurt me
I never meant to
Go **** yourself
I never stopped loving you

I never stopped loving you
As I walked up and down the shore
Waiting for you to ******* come back
Waiting for you to give me some answers
As to why you left in the first place
Waiting for you to stop loving me
So I could move on
But instead I kept walking up and down the beach
Looking at our collection of shells
Waiting for you to ******* come back

Some people don't realize how much you cry when you throw up
How much you shake
How much your nose runs

Nobody likes to throw up
You feel like a ******* kid
With snot and bile dripping everywhere over the toilet
And your hands clenched to the bowl
Desperate for it to hold you back
And tell you you'll be alright

But I do it every day
Every ******* day
Because I can't afford
A lifetime on the hips

So I find my place on the floor
The place where I spread my towel
In order to make the cold, hard ground
Just a little more forgiving
I have toilet paper ready to wipe my mouth and nose
Because **** gets messy after the first retch of regret

But once it's all over,
You can't just tell people,
"I threw up everything I ate today."
You have to keep going
Like nothing ******* happened
Because otherwise they flock over you
And don't let you do it anymore

I was always cautious about using the L word
The word used after like
The big L
Because you can't take that **** back
Once you say it,
You can't unsay it
You can't unhear it

Then I found the L word
I found him
A milk chocolate man with yummy espresso eyes
A goofy, crooked smile that never quits
Tight, soft curls pushed back in a black mane
And a voice that floats on feathers

I found the L word
In between my fingers where he holds my hand
On the nape of my neck where he kisses me at night
Across my cheeks where he brushes his hand
In my mouth where he feeds me the food he's prepared

I found the L word while I was folding my laundry
While I was making us coffee
While we were talking about everything
While we were doing a puzzle and getting nowhere
While I was scrubbing his back in the shower
While we fell asleep in the summer heat under the heavy blankets

I found the L word at a time when I didn't think I would
In a person who wasn't supposed to love me
But did anyway
Despite it all

People tend to think it's an act
When you want to **** yourself
And it kind of is
You have to put on an act every day
In order to get through basic ****
Showering,
Eating,
Social interactions,
It's all an act
But you still want to die
That part most definitely isn't an act
That's the most real part of you
The deadest part inside
Is what's keeping you alive

The attention seeking *****
Seeks attention
Because they wonder if anyone actually gives a ****
Or if everyone else is putting on an act, too
Because if all the world's a stage,
And we're all just acting,
Then why not **** off some characters
Shakespeare got rid of Romeo and Juliet
And they were still famous
They were still the stars
And if you can be the star
But still be dead
Then why keep on living
When you're already dead inside

Bun o'clock
I'm hungry but I don't say anything
Because I can hold on longer

Chew pm
Someone says I look thin
Have I lost weight??

Three pounds
Potentially three pounds
But I don't know because I always think I look bloated

Four ice cubes to tie me over
I don't need to eat
I'm okay

Five fat shaming *******
Stroll past me in their skinny jeans
Reminding me who deserves to be a size 0

Tricks o' the mind
Start to play
As I tell myself I don't need to eat because I did yesterday

Age seven is when
Mama first told me to stretch my shirts
Hide my figure
Watch what I eat
Stop taking second helpings
No dessert

Eight
Looks like a couple of donuts.
Muffins.  Pizzas.
Any round food.
My round stomach.

Nibble pm.
It's okay to eat a little?  Maybe?

Ten pm?
Or ten candy bars?

Eleven hours later
Nothing in my belly
But four ice cubes

Twelve: time to taunt my taste buds
Trick myself
Tell myself that I'll eat tomorrow
Tomorrow will be the day
The day I really splurge
Everyone knows that's a lie
But my tummy doesn't

I like to wake up at 7 am
Because that's when he wakes up.
I rub my eyes
And groan about being awake before the sun.
He rolls over
And stretches his body out on his bed.
I want to kiss his forehead.
Tell him it's time to get up.
Time to get ready for the day.
I want to scratch his back.
Tell him I love him.
Tell him I can't wait for him to get home tonight,
Even though he hasn't even left yet.
His bed is miles away from my own
But when I wake up at 7 am,
It feels like we wake up in the same one.

The chest falls up and
The chest falls down
The nose breathes in and
The nose breathes out
The eyelids flicker slightly and
The lips quiver none
The muscles twinge and
The veins pulse

His body is so serene
I imagine it every night
When I fall asleep
In my little twin bed
I scoot over
And make room for him
For his chest to fall up
And to fall down
For his nose to breathe in
And to breathe out
For his eyelids to flicker
And lips to not quiver
For his muscles to twinge
And veins to pulse
I want him to have room
Laying beside me
In my little twin bed

He calls me on the phone
And I hear it all
I see it all
I feel my hand draped
Over his curly little chest hairs
My pale dainty hand
Falling up with his chest
Falling down with his chest
I feel so close
Even from 250 miles away
No words need be spoken
Just breathing and snores
As we lay next to each other
Through the night
In my little twin bed

Not everyone thinks of it as a compliment
When you write about them
I thought it was supposed to be nice
Ya know
Love poems and ****
I thought it was supposed to be a compliment
Ya know
Love poems and ****
He said he's embarrassed
He stifles his words through nervous laughter
Puts his head down
Scratches the same nervous patch on his neck
That he always scratches
Whenever he gets nervous
I thought I was flattering him
Ya know
I thought I was being kind
Ya know
But my muse is just too shy
My muse is just too painfully shy
My muse just doesn't know what to do with the recognition
From someone who unconditionally loves him

How do you tell someone
That you've got your own blood on your hands?
That you still haven't cleaned the knife that ran across your thighs?
That you can't even cry because you're ******* cried out?
That your legs are bright red
And each cut is still clearly identifiable?
That you want a ******* hug but the blade is the only thing offering comfort?
That you know it's wrong but you still did it?
That your blood is still there
Four hours later,
Because if you move you'll just cut again?
How do you tell someone all of that?
How do you tell someone that,
Without scaring them away?
How do you tell someone that,
And still have them love you?

If you move
One Inch
In any direction
You'll move
Towards the blade.

If you move
One Inch
In any direction
You'll just
Start to cry.

If you move
One Inch
In any direction
Your cuts
Will open up.

If you move
One Inch
In any direction
You'll hurt
Yourself again.

If you move
One Inch
In any direction
You'll make
Another mistake.

You don't want
To do it
And you know
It's not okay.
But you don't
Know what else
To do
Or to whom
You can talk.
So you keep
On cutting.

It's always his smile that makes me melt.
His smile that tickles my soul, even when it's dark in the room.
I try to cast a cold facade,
But his warm eyes and easy going laugh turn me into a puddle.
His sweet words roll off his tongue and straight into my heart.
His big, muscular hands match up with mine.
He pokes fun at my little baby hands,
But kisses each finger with his plump brown lips.
Those decadent lips.
We giggle sweet nothings back and forth,
But those moments,
Those words,
They mean everything.
I sit up and stretch my arms.
He traces my body and kisses my back.
The three words I've longed to hear,
Finally escaping his breath.
I smile and melt back into him
As he pulls the covers over us.

The pain
The anger
The tears
All of it is worth it
Because I get you at the end of the day.

I get you.
Your ****-face grin with the crooked teeth.
Your long, muscular arms with the milk chocolate stretch marks.
Your strong thighs with the rugby scars.
Your tender kisses with the love behind them.
Your stupid jokes mumbled under your breath.
Your warm cuddles during our sweaty sleep.

I get it all.
That's why I endure the fights,
The lack of responses,
The drunken nights out.
Because the good far outweighs the bad,
And I get you.

I look at the way my hand fits against yours.
Your light brown hand and my little baby hand.
You kiss my fingers one by one.
The sweet nothings you whisper in my ear mean everything to me.
As I stroke your chest and look into your dark brown eyes flecked with love and my own personal sunrise.
As I kiss your bicep and hear you tell me you love me.
As I climb on top of you and feel our bodies join together.
As I bend over and press my lips against yours while laughter escapes our smiles.
As I put my hands in yours and realize they are the hands I want to hold forever.
As I feel your eyes on my bare body and I'm finally okay with what you're seeing.

I love the thought of us.

The hand holding.
The romantic morning walks.
The Christmas card pictures.
The hand made birthday gifts.
The 2 am *****.
The 4 am pizza slices.
The funny videos we sent via text.
The giggles and gripes over bad puns.
The Friday night dinners and movies.
The matching concert tees.
The Sunday morning rainy drives.
The cups of coffee shared over a newspaper.
The lethargic post-*** cuddles.
The passionate pre-*** kisses.

I just really ******* hate you.

I want to feel beautiful.
To feel confident
To feel loved
To feel beautiful.

Who stole my beautiful?
Where did it go?
It was just here...

But then someone pointed out how fat I am.
They noticed my acne
and my mom jeans.
They asked if I had ever had a boyfriend,
And laughed when I shook my head no.
They told me I was the reason there were waves in the pool
And told me my swimsuit was ugly.
They said my hair was greasy
And I kind of smelled.
They asked why I had to shop at Catherine's
And why not Aeropostale.

They stole my beautiful.
And they weren't even sorry.

They STOLE it.
Stealing is a crime,
But not when it comes to ****** 8 year olds
Who think it's okay to hurt others.
Not when it comes to shady friends who say they can bring these things up,
"Because we're friends."
Not when it comes to judgmental family memebers
Who don't know what it's like to wear size 16 jeans.
(Actually, 18...)
(I'm embarrassed.)

Nobody stops these people from stealing.
From stealing the beautiful from
A 10 year old who already knows the worst,
But she's choosing to be confident anyway.
A 13 year old who's unloved by others,
But she's still trying so ******* hard to love herself.
A 16 year old weighing 250 pounds,
But she's exercising through the depression.
A 17 year old bent over the toilet,
Trying to lose the weight you told her was ugly,
And trying to find the beautiful you should have told her about instead.

But they stole my beautiful.
The beautiful that got me through every day.
The beautiful that reminded me size doesn't matter.
The beautiful that belongs to me.
The beautiful you took.
Like there was some kind of limited supply or something.
Like mine deserved to be stolen.
Yeah, you took that kind of beautiful.

And you left an even greater treasure behind.

You never said it out loud,
But you said it with your eyes.
With your **** deep inside me.
You told me you loved me,
Arms wrapped around me tight.
Lips pressed against my own.

****,
You didn't have to say it out loud.
You promised me everything.
You promised me the world.
With your eyes
Your ****
Your arms
Your lips

They say talk is cheap,
But I guess I should have waited for you to say it out loud,
Before I started making assumptions
and ******* this up.

R is for the rough times we've pulled through.
O is for the ordinary days that you make extraordinary.
S is for the sure thing we've got going.
E is for every purely golden moment that we spend together.


Without you,
My life would be through.
I don't even know what I would do,
Without you.

Without your smile,
I would never go that extra mile.
The entire world would be black and vile,
Without your smile.

Without your love,
In the sky I would never see another dove.
There probably would be no "up-above,"
Without your love.


So here's a rose for you, my love.
It means more than I can say.
So make sure it does not shrivel or wilt,
As there is but one rose in the garden.

Should I really tell you?

How safe I feel in your warm embrace
How much I love to run my fingers over your ears...trace

How every time you're there, I wish you were here
How your soft, solid love takes away every little fear

How your eyes make me weak,
And even make me forget how to speak

How I love you for all one hundred flaws,
And even your big hands, full of warmth, that resemble big bear claws

There's not a thing about you I don't love
Our hearts fit together; hand in glove

Let's go home, my darling.
What is there to wait for?
I want to go home, my darling,
And never leave your sweet, should love.

Sometimes
I just want to die

not really,
but really

I'm just wanting an escape.
Wanting to leave this place
Leave the people
Leave the stress

I don't want any of it
Don't need anybody
just one
that's it

But I couldn't take him with me
He deserves better

I don't have any friends.
Don't get along with my parents.

I feel alone.
So just let me do it.
Let me go.

My wrists are already scarred.
My cheeks are already tear-streaked.
My will is already almost gone.
So just let me go.

It was a bad night last night
My tear stained cheeks
and sliced up wrists
can vouch.
I never know what I'm thinking anymore...
Or why.
I just know that I am.

It's scary,
You know...
Being like this.
I get scared,
and other people get scared.
More often than not,
I can't control these thoughts...
These protruding and unwelcome thoughts
but I don't know what to do.
I never know what to do anymore.
I just know that I've had a lot of bad nights lately.
A lot of them.
But I don't know what to do.

My mind
it races
with thoughts
of you.

My heart's
quickened pace
in reaction
to you.

My hands
yearn to
touch your
own hands.

My lips
they long
to kiss
your cheek.

My body
gets nervous
pressing against
your body.

My cheeks
turn red
when you
love me.

I took too many busporine,
But I'm still anxious.
I'm still ******* freaked.  
I'm still nervously shaking.
I'm still sputtering about.
I'm still worried why you haven't opened my message.

I know this whole thing is new.
I know you're probably sleeping.
I know you have a life outside of me.
I know you sometimes need a break from me.
But my anxiety doesn't.

My anxiety doesn't get that you're busy.
Anxiety doesn't get that you're sleeping.
Anxiety doesn't get that maybe you just want some space.
Anxiety doesn't get that I didn't do anything wrong,
And that your feelings for me haven't changed.

Anxiety is scared.
Anxiety is panicking.
Anxiety is popping one too many pills.
Anxiety is crying and trying not to cut again.
Anxiety is worrying that you've found someone else.
Anxiety is worried that you're out with them now and just ignoring me until you're ***** later tonight.

Jesus Christ, Anxiety.
Give me a break,
Quit giving me a battle.
Jesus ******* Christ, Anxiety.
Take a deep breath,
Try to stay rational.
Jesus ******* Christ, Anxiety.
I'm trying to salvage a relationship here,
And ruin the one I have with you.

It's all cranberry juice and pills
Zoloft pills
Little tiny tic tac Zoloft pills.
Insurance pays for most of it,
But there are a couple crinkled dollars in my pocket that pick up the rest.
They're supposed to help.
I should be able to get out of bed,
And do daily ****.
But all I do is grab more Zoloft,
And take my daily ****.
The cranberry juice helps the **** not burn,
But the cream doesn't do anything for the hemorrhoids
That come from trying so hard to **** out the food I never eat.
It all just hurts nowadays,
So I have to take pills.
Pills on top of pills
And pills after those pills.
It all just hurts from laying in bed all day.
But I never get up.
Just to get more tiny tic tac pills,
And to take my daily ****.
Most days I forget,
But sometimes I take 6.
Twice the prescribed won't **** me.
I'll **** myself before any little pill does.