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Jenn G Oct 14
Her breath was ice
Was she gone?
Waves of time did not move her
There was no fear
There was no joy
There were no sounds
Where is she?
Here eyes moved slowly
Her movement had intent
But she is not here
She is gone
A victim of her own struggle
ObsidianDeath Oct 13
White walls
Empty beds
Silent nights
They scream loudly
They scream in terror
Lights flashing
Empty hallways
That echo into nothing
Praying to my faith
Praying not to die
Hell has found its new home
I don't want to die
All the voices echoing in my head
I'm not crazy
White walls
I don't want to be here
My dog-soul forgets to feed
and starves black,
paces circles for a bed
and with dead weight,
settles

thought and action,
usually smitten with intricacies,
are quietly smothered to nothing

a flat purgatory
scored with white noise, overcast
rendered in a pauper’s palette
on a canvas with no edge

ticks remain untocked
until at some distance
a mechanism is rewound
and a leash jangled
for an ear to lazily lift again
3AM
Three AM awake, aching with lateness
wrestling alone
even if a significant other is next to you
or little breaths flutter in next rooms

Shadow boxing ridiculous odds
in a world and heart full
of treacle thick worries
weighting your punches ineffectual
just like in the fear-fever dreams
that woke you

You skirt the maw below
resting place of your almighty failures
as the sick orange glow
breaches curtains and makes
familiar shapes judgmental
tut tut tutting at your uselessness

Here, you are defenceless

Here, the black thoughts insinuate,
find cracks to prise and plant suggestions
of a better world without you in it:
the limit of you

Dig deep, my human kin
quietly get up,
make a cup of tea,
write a message or two
to yourself, or for others later

Bide and wait
for the mute loved heaviness of sleep to return
or the welcome thinness of morning light
to wash the darkness back

In the new day, reach out,
with steady voice or bubble-snot,
be heard and seen
by friends or strangers
and try to heal again
amelia Sep 30
isn’t it reassuring that a game we play as kids
can teach you that by saying the wrong thing
you can end someone’s life.
i just thought about this and wondered why it’s even a thing. it shouldn’t be.
Jenna Sep 17
The friend we all wanted with a smile we all need,
she was funny and loving, just a regular teen.
Black dyed hair with platform heels, nobody noticed she was missing meals.

A song in her head with a knife in her heart,
these rude little kids were tearing her apart.
"Too skinny." "Too fat." "Too this." "Too that,"
This confused little girl was getting kicked to the mat.

Teenage life is a struggle alone,
but she was being bullied and had problems at home.
We spoke up and spoke out, but the school swept it away.
A perfect reputation was bound to stay that way.
I will say that this is NOT a trashing of all schools. Please, raise awareness. Suicide prevention is so important for EVERYONE and EVERYWHERE. So please, tell someone if your worried. Don't go silent. It may just save a life. This girl, I won't name her, but she was my best friend. Almost 2 years ago she died. Hold your loved ones tight. Make sure they know they can talk to you.
One last phone call
Then you were gone
Trying to make sense of it
But no sense came at all.
Your smile and joy
You decided to quit
however I know
it was all a decoy
Your heart was broken
you felt so low
You tried so hard
many words unspoken
I know you are watching
And keeping guard
Life is all good
like you always said
Until we meet again
Be proud of all you withstood
I’ll send my love up there instead.
ChillNPsyco Aug 22
Another day I struggle to reach its
     darkened end
Battling cryptic thoughts which my
     demons send
Amidst this emptiness I find myself
    withering away
Neither caring nor am I wanting to
    see another day
Depression is an uninvited friend
    that will not leave
Obstinate that it speaks only truth
    when trying to deceive
No one can be found to convince me
    it is only lies
Emptiness that surrounds me
    somehow it multiplies
Depression
                     Erases
                                 All
                                      The
                                             Hope
ChillNPsyco
Jo Jul 13
you are so precious  
your smile and laugh are infectious
you truly are my little sunshine

yet you wish you were dead?
you wish you no longer existed?

don't you know how much it pains me to hear that?

you think you need me?
baby, i need YOU
i can't even imagine a world without you

please don't leave
i promise, it can't rain forever

at the end of the day
you are my little sunshine, remember?
Stand arboreally tall,
present a strength,
represent stability,
provide a safe place,
wide-branched sanctuary,
hold rooted principles,
speak truth to power,

til the hour you break and tumble,
your fingers thumbs
and your heart falling
numbed

senses bent, thoughts fraying,
tattered threads evasive,
the very idea of existence,
position,
self,
buckles

Far-sightedness retracts,
a fancy contra-zoom,
Hitchcockian,
eyes locked on your two feet,
tip-toes edged up
against your own precipice,
your own private void

We all feel this
sooner or later,
but its ridiculous melodrama
stills our tongues to tell,
til we’re left believing
we’re the only losers facing hell

To speak is strong,
to cry courageous,
to panic and dread next steps, next breaths,
is human

I pledge to listen, ask for the same
and beg that next time
we keep shooting the breeze
until the ledge fades
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