Dreaming in Moonshine Soaking into songs heard only through The vibrations of insect wings
Breathing in their scented infusions within a double scene inside another unfolding painted image of what appears to be A still depleting life
Casting shadows over my restless thoughts of both promise and deceit which constitutes the inner fold of what is love… the counterfeit of existence that lends itself to real What is real (in my world)?
Coming forth to me in moments in phases from within the possible
That lingers until the end of pond’s length containing the infinite drops that continue to fill it up by the immaculate hand of heaven’s reach entrapping the limits that give shape to such incongruity
(There are always limits in the future even though there are so many possible ones in life- even if there are so many possibilities for us to see, to understand, to believe in, and to experience)
Traipsing into waters unknown I learn the diligence of the dragonfly who hinges on existential wings
On this journey of trial and error I discover freedom wholly through the mystification of my own will and the emancipation of choice only to be surrounded by the empty court of judgment
Seeing through buzz eyes dripping in nectar an opalescent tune raises its brow to trigger The wind, which blows against the tenderness of heart yet calm and (flowing) as if through a wand
swaying in the glory that fate whispers in between the spaces of anorexic branches meeting
How can the iridescence of a sound, of a single word
Press with such kindness and bathe in such grandeur
I am amazed by the purity; by the simple beauty of this world
I recall someone telling me that just once in your life do you meet
the one who gives you the belief you never could find
of your spate
the cord of your spine
How is that I am free today?
I wish for immortal meaning :
does not lead to fill me
but simply knowing
As they look to me
and choosing not to shine
into eyes of gold
they look down on me
This is my reality at its core
As they move further in between their departing
within a space
do they laugh
behind the falsity
of a perfect smile
while the moon just sits up straight
and smirks beside
with faint and covered faces
that this could all be just a dream
Unjust Inside these walls
But I know like a dream they will return
to keep me company in the mist (of shadows)
of a nightmare inside
I’m now in battle to avoid
At times I feel slighted
yet wholly redeemed
I feel respected yet abused beyond all things
and sometimes it feels like I’m standing in front of the altar alone
(on the edge of the dock)
peering down at everybody I’ve ever known
about to dive in to land on slippery greens floating swiftly in between (the ripples)
I feel chosen Yet I feel unseen
Dispraised for the things I’ve done
feeling no pain
do I fade...
into the lambent (lucent)mist of efficacy:
into the Elysian fields of transcendent virtue
And there do I become everything I’ve ever loved, everyone I’ve ever known
Only knowing that Love's darkest form is that of deceit in the illusion of each day, I am still. But more than that, I am still alive. Thank you for saving my life.
Sometimes we have already died, but that is mere loneliness. We can prevent our own suicide.
I wonder if you played here as a child? Did you hunt for treasure shells write your name in shingle snake seaweed around sand kingdoms. Did you ever throw stones into the ocean and watch the ripples as they spread?
Maybe you’d tested yourself before. Feet sunk into the shoreline, sea foaming at your ankles as you made your final choice. Panic or calm, fear or resolve. Nothingness.
I bet the water had never seemed so dark. I hope you numbed quickly limbs silent nerves dull lips salt-fresh and longing for the end.
Her breath was ice Was she gone? Waves of time did not move her There was no fear There was no joy There were no sounds Where is she? Here eyes moved slowly Her movement had intent But she is not here She is gone A victim of her own struggle
White walls Empty beds Silent nights They scream loudly They scream in terror Lights flashing Empty hallways That echo into nothing Praying to my faith Praying not to die Hell has found its new home I don't want to die All the voices echoing in my head I'm not crazy White walls I don't want to be here
The friend we all wanted with a smile we all need, she was funny and loving, just a regular teen. Black dyed hair with platform heels, nobody noticed she was missing meals.
A song in her head with a knife in her heart, these rude little kids were tearing her apart. "Too skinny." "Too fat." "Too this." "Too that," This confused little girl was getting kicked to the mat.
Teenage life is a struggle alone, but she was being bullied and had problems at home. We spoke up and spoke out, but the school swept it away. A perfect reputation was bound to stay that way.
I will say that this is NOT a trashing of all schools. Please, raise awareness. Suicide prevention is so important for EVERYONE and EVERYWHERE. So please, tell someone if your worried. Don't go silent. It may just save a life. This girl, I won't name her, but she was my best friend. Almost 2 years ago she died. Hold your loved ones tight. Make sure they know they can talk to you.
One last phone call Then you were gone Trying to make sense of it But no sense came at all. Your smile and joy You decided to quit however I know it was all a decoy Your heart was broken you felt so low You tried so hard many words unspoken I know you are watching And keeping guard Life is all good like you always said Until we meet again Be proud of all you withstood I’ll send my love up there instead.
Another day I struggle to reach its darkened end Battling cryptic thoughts which my demons send Amidst this emptiness I find myself withering away Neither caring nor am I wanting to see another day Depression is an uninvited friend that will not leave Obstinate that it speaks only truth when trying to deceive No one can be found to convince me it is only lies Emptiness that surrounds me somehow it multiplies Depression Erases All The Hope ChillNPsyco