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LannaEvolved Jan 19
Dreaming in Moonshine  
Soaking into songs heard only through  
The vibrations of insect wings  

Breathing in their scented infusions within a double scene inside another unfolding painted image of what appears to be
A still depleting life  

Casting shadows over my restless thoughts of both promise and deceit which constitutes the inner fold of what is love…  
the counterfeit of existence
that lends itself to real
What is real (in my world)?

Coming forth to me
in moments in phases from
within  
the possible  
  
That lingers until the end of pond’s length  containing the infinite drops that continue to fill it up  by the immaculate hand of heaven’s reach  
entrapping the limits   that give shape to such incongruity  

(There  are always limits in the future even though there are so many possible ones in life- even if there are so many possibilities for us to see, to understand, to believe in, and to experience)

Traipsing into waters unknown  
I learn the diligence of the dragonfly who hinges  
on existential wings  

On this journey of trial and error  
I discover freedom wholly through the mystification of my own will and the emancipation of choice
only to be surrounded by the empty court of judgment  


Seeing through buzz eyes  dripping in nectar  
an opalescent tune raises its brow  
to trigger  
The wind, which blows against the tenderness of heart yet calm and  
(flowing) as if through a wand  

swaying in the glory  
that fate whispers in between the spaces of anorexic branches meeting  


How can the iridescence of a sound, of a single word

Press with such kindness and bathe in such grandeur  

I am amazed by the purity; by the simple beauty of this world  


I recall someone telling me that just once in your life do you meet

the one who gives you the belief you never could find


The deep  

stirring  

(surge)

of your spate  

running inside  

the cord of your spine

How is that I am free today?


I wish for immortal meaning :


(self- reproach)  

does not lead to fill me  


Questioning …

but simply knowing  

the stars  


As they look to me  

and choosing not to shine  

on skin  

not even  

into eyes of gold


they look down on me

mocking insecurity  

This is my reality at its core  


As they move  further  
in between their departing  


within a space  

of sky  

do they laugh  

subconsciously  

behind  the falsity

of a perfect smile  

looming  


while the moon just sits up straight  

and smirks beside  

with faint and covered faces

squinting eyes  


Never  hinting

that this could all be just a dream  

Unjust Inside these walls


But I know like a dream they will return  

to keep me company in the mist (of shadows)  

of a nightmare inside  

I’m now in battle
to avoid                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                 


At times I feel slighted  

yet wholly redeemed  

I feel respected  yet abused beyond all things

and sometimes it feels like I’m standing in front of the altar alone

(on the edge of the dock)  

peering down at everybody I’ve ever known  

about to dive in  
to land on slippery greens floating swiftly in between (the ripples)

I feel chosen
Yet  
I feel unseen  

Dispraised for the things I’ve done

feeling no pain

do I fade...

Away  

into the lambent (lucent)mist of efficacy:  

into the Elysian fields of transcendent virtue  


And there do I become everything I’ve ever loved, everyone I’ve ever known  

Only knowing that Love's darkest form is that of deceit in the illusion of each day, I am still. But more than that, I am still alive.
Thank you for saving my life.
Sometimes we have already died, but that is mere loneliness. We can prevent our own suicide.
Jade Wright Dec 2020
Dedicated to Sophie Smith

I wonder if
you played here as a child?
Did you
hunt for treasure shells
write your name in shingle
snake seaweed around sand kingdoms.
Did you ever throw stones into the ocean
and watch the ripples as they spread?

Maybe
you’d tested yourself before.
Feet sunk into the shoreline,
sea foaming at your ankles
as you made your final choice.
Panic or calm,
fear or resolve.
Nothingness.

I bet  
the water had never
seemed so dark.
I hope you numbed quickly
limbs silent
nerves dull
lips salt-fresh and longing
for the end.


Jade Wright
Jenn G Oct 2020
Her breath was ice
Was she gone?
Waves of time did not move her
There was no fear
There was no joy
There were no sounds
Where is she?
Here eyes moved slowly
Her movement had intent
But she is not here
She is gone
A victim of her own struggle
White walls
Empty beds
Silent nights
They scream loudly
They scream in terror
Lights flashing
Empty hallways
That echo into nothing
Praying to my faith
Praying not to die
Hell has found its new home
I don't want to die
All the voices echoing in my head
I'm not crazy
White walls
I don't want to be here
Dave Robertson Oct 2020
My dog-soul forgets to feed
and starves black,
paces circles for a bed
and with dead weight,
settles

thought and action,
usually smitten with intricacies,
are quietly smothered to nothing

a flat purgatory
scored with white noise, overcast
rendered in a pauper’s palette
on a canvas with no edge

ticks remain untocked
until at some distance
a mechanism is rewound
and a leash jangled
for an ear to lazily lift again
Dave Robertson Oct 2020
3AM
Three AM awake, aching with lateness
wrestling alone
even if a significant other is next to you
or little breaths flutter in next rooms

Shadow boxing ridiculous odds
in a world and heart full
of treacle thick worries
weighting your punches ineffectual
just like in the fear-fever dreams
that woke you

You skirt the maw below
resting place of your almighty failures
as the sick orange glow
breaches curtains and makes
familiar shapes judgmental
tut tut tutting at your uselessness

Here, you are defenceless

Here, the black thoughts insinuate,
find cracks to prise and plant suggestions
of a better world without you in it:
the limit of you

Dig deep, my human kin
quietly get up,
make a cup of tea,
write a message or two
to yourself, or for others later

Bide and wait
for the mute loved heaviness of sleep to return
or the welcome thinness of morning light
to wash the darkness back

In the new day, reach out,
with steady voice or bubble-snot,
be heard and seen
by friends or strangers
and try to heal again
amelia Sep 2020
isn’t it reassuring that a game we play as kids
can teach you that by saying the wrong thing
you can end someone’s life.
i just thought about this and wondered why it’s even a thing. it shouldn’t be.
Jenna Sep 2020
The friend we all wanted with a smile we all need,
she was funny and loving, just a regular teen.
Black dyed hair with platform heels, nobody noticed she was missing meals.

A song in her head with a knife in her heart,
these rude little kids were tearing her apart.
"Too skinny." "Too fat." "Too this." "Too that,"
This confused little girl was getting kicked to the mat.

Teenage life is a struggle alone,
but she was being bullied and had problems at home.
We spoke up and spoke out, but the school swept it away.
A perfect reputation was bound to stay that way.
I will say that this is NOT a trashing of all schools. Please, raise awareness. Suicide prevention is so important for EVERYONE and EVERYWHERE. So please, tell someone if your worried. Don't go silent. It may just save a life. This girl, I won't name her, but she was my best friend. Almost 2 years ago she died. Hold your loved ones tight. Make sure they know they can talk to you.
Emillee Goodwin Sep 2020
One last phone call
Then you were gone
Trying to make sense of it
But no sense came at all.
Your smile and joy
You decided to quit
however I know
it was all a decoy
Your heart was broken
you felt so low
You tried so hard
many words unspoken
I know you are watching
And keeping guard
Life is all good
like you always said
Until we meet again
Be proud of all you withstood
I’ll send my love up there instead.
ChillNPsyco Aug 2020
Another day I struggle to reach its
     darkened end
Battling cryptic thoughts which my
     demons send
Amidst this emptiness I find myself
    withering away
Neither caring nor am I wanting to
    see another day
Depression is an uninvited friend
    that will not leave
Obstinate that it speaks only truth
    when trying to deceive
No one can be found to convince me
    it is only lies
Emptiness that surrounds me
    somehow it multiplies
Depression
                     Erases
                                 All
                                      The
                                             Hope
ChillNPsyco
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