You're wringing out my brain
with all that it held.
You've left it all twisted,
confused and in pain.
So I'll just untwist
and fill it up again.
Then . . .
. . . carry on!

Kaydee.

Being nothing may not be everything you thought it would be
but experiencing yourself as nothing,
that's absolute,
It's the stars,
It's the sky,
It's the wind you're riding.

So here's to you and that
nothing you're finding
Here's to YOU.

because it's all I need.

Poetry by Kaydee.

Could I have your shoulder
when I need to cry
and not be worried
when I can't say why?

Would you offer your hand
when I am ill,
feel weak
and cannot stand?

Would you lend me your ear
when I am troubled,
worried and shaking
with fear?

Will you offer me your arm
when I'm upset
or shaken
and make me feel calm?

Would you ever suspect me
of collecting
body parts
and call the police?

Poetry by Kaydee.

I am analogue.
made of troughs and of peaks.
My medication offers
silence with tweaks.
I'm upping and downing,
either dreaming or drowning.
So I can't stay too long
in case something goes wrong.

First thought of the day
is of impending doom.
Rain clouds have gathered
and it pours in my room.

Later on that day,
I feel I'm okay
and I don't know why but
. . . . . I'll take it.

Poetry by Kaydee.

Her saturate beauty
in violet black light.
The narcotic consent
some Saturday plight.
Colours are bleeding
a vivid dream night.
Lysergic Acid Diethylamide,
Right?

A sleep pattern paisley
purple and green.
Faceless adversaries
heard, yet unseen.
A motionless panic,
unable to run.
Contorted, curled fingers,
now, isn't this fun.

Wear your muzzle
and do not protest!
Attendance with others
will end in arrest.
So, keep your mouth shut
and toe our line,
Failure to do so will end
in a fine.

Your freedom is gone
for you're just a pawn.
In this game we play,
human rights are withdrawn.

Predictively programmed
your mind now is ours.
You entered a ballot,
relinquished your powers.

When all said and done
this is your own fault.
Industrial complex,
I dare you revolt.

Kaydee.

You're a glitch in the system,
a ******' mistake.
But carry on regardless
'cause I know you're fake.

I'm sure that you know,
you were never all that.
A big ******' lie
and then you did that!

So take off your mask
and show me your face.
'Cause to me you're already
a ******' disgrace!

You cast a steel shadow
yet still hide your face.
You shared all my secrets
and told them my name.
Now, step into your spotlight
and reveal your game.

Poetry by Kaydee.

With leather clad hands
and old plastic sheets
he makes up the reasons
for the people he meets.

They'll feel nothing's wrong
for he sings a sweet song
where false promises are made
with a smile from a blade.

And on a cold knife night
he'll extinguish their light
as they struggle for air,
for their pain
is longer than
the chair.

Please accept this receipt
as my proof of purchase.
I'm returning the Police
'cause they're not fit for purpose.
My bike it was stolen
I'd said who and where.
The Police didn't bother
It's like they don't care.
Well they've sent me a summons
because of non payment.
Now it's four times the cost
and a bike that I've lost.

I'll glue on a moustache
and wear a **** hat.
Eat sprinkled donuts,
do **** all
and get fat.

and that's how I became a pig.

Kaydee
(ner ner, ner ner)

"I'm not hungry" she said.
"Let's both get undressed
and go straight to bed".
Her eyes peer down,
I've read that look.
She's hungry only
that we ****.
Both twisted, posed,
improbable feats.
Entangled, stuck in
satin sheets.
Back arched from touch,
sensual caress.
Opening of *****,
a fingers press.
A wanting tongue,
it reads her look.
A throbbing gland,
throes north and stuck.
Perspiring writhe,
one, two, we slide.
Enchanted throws,
"oh God" she cried.
Seismic shudders,
twisted face.
One final cry,
a tired embrace.

Poetry by Kaydee.

There's no need for this
never ending doubt.
Be the first and the last
of your very own devout.
Clear the clouds of those
who surround.
Your mind is stronger
pound for pound.
For you are you
and they are their friends.
Realise this and all your
fear ends.
You are one, now light the flame,
your doubters gone.

Do you see what I mean that
it doesn't matter where you've been.
'cause now your all knowing
It's about where you're going.

Poetry by kaydee.

Oh my love, our chats seem to be getting much shorter.
Though I hoped they wouldn't,
I thought they might.
Oh my love, the days feel much longer and I'm so tired.
Though I hoped they wouldn't,
I thought they might.
Oh my love, this sadness I feel is getting much deeper.
Though I hoped it wouldn't,
I thought it might.
Oh my love, I knew you'd forget to call and I really needed to chat.
Though I hoped you wouldn't,
I thought you might.
Oh my love, I'm so so sorry.
Though you hoped I wouldn't,
you always knew I would.

Poetry by Kaydee

What would I do without you.
You're always by my side.
Giving my life balance.
You open doors for me.
Point things out to me.
You're always right
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
and (then) left.
. . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . .

Kaydee

You couldn't reveal,
you wouldn't say.
This Mask I wore,
It weighed me down.
You didn't care,
It wasn't fair.
I held my breath,
You didn't say.

and now, . . .

I watered down your poison.
You cannot hold me now.
My arms held out,
waiting.

Nothing.
You'll run.
I know you'll run.
oh,
ok kid.

#Poetrybykaydee

Angels with torches lighting my way
down grand, windowed hallways
I'll walk down one day.
With framed, pictured memories
highlighting my past.
Flickering candles,
a shadow I cast.
All the while,
wondering why I am here.
This is the story of my yesteryear.
I suddenly realise that this is the end.
A man holds his hand out
and says
"Welcome my friend"

Poetry by Kaydee.

My Immortal,
what you upto today?
It's just that, well we haven't met yet have we, eh?
I'm sat alone drinking and I know,
yeah I know what you're thinking
but I'm just a fraction and
I want to be whole.
So your interaction,
well yeah that's my goal
and with you as my tower,
my guard I can lower.
Behind you in the sun and
underneath you in the rain.
Consuming your love,
erasing my pain.

Can anybody hear me,
is anyone there
or am I alone as I lay my soul bare.
I know it's a big ask,
for something so rare.

Poetry by Kaydee.

We play with creepy things
to quell the fear inside us.
Disguised in life it brings,
the woodlice and the spiders.
...
The mud pies and the worms
all made in preparation.
With life's persistent germs
a stronger generation.
...
And because what we consume
eventually makes us stronger.
The mud pies and the worms
will make us all live longer.

Poetry by Kaydee.

What colour my eyes,
you'll see right through.
Into my mind,
I'm showing you.

Angels of mine
have all absconded.
The ballots are in
and all are counted.

A landslide shows
only demons have voted.
So words of hurt
have been promoted.

Poetry by Kaydee.

I spoke to my partner babe
at our place and everything's well.
I sure feel a lot of love babe.

I met with my friend babe
at the bar and everything's good.
I've sure got a lot of love babe.

I saw my partner and friend babe
in the street and everything's clear.
They've sure got a lot of love babe.

Spoke with my sister babe
at her home and everything's
much clearer now.
I sure hear a lot of lies babe.

Talked to my brother babe
at his flat and everything's
oh so ******' clear.
I sure hear a lot of ******' lies babe.

Listened to my demons babe
in my head and everything's clear.
I sure feel a lot of hate babe.

Met with my solicitor babe
in my prison cell and
everything's gone.
I sure feel ****** babe.

Poetry by Kaydee.

Take the pieces that remain,
I'm leaving them to you.
Use them wisely,
learn the game.
You're now on level two.

You cannot change
what others do.
So what will be, will be.
Remember this.
It won't be long.
You're now on level three.

No need for riches,
don't care you're poor.
Quit the race,
you need no more.
You're now on level four.

Organically dying,
body is old.
Your spirit is flying,
you feel alive.
You're now on level five.

She's a new born under
protective cover,
with a shield like no other from her
umbilical Mother.
Covered from head to toe by the
artists jacket.
In clear polythene for you to admire,
not attack it.
Or the mobster paid in Lira to stop
anyone going near her,
when all that she needs
is the unconditional love
from the bosum that
feeds her.

Poetry by Kaydee.

Woke up this morning,
looked a right fright.
One eye on my forehead,
the other lay squinting,
on the pillow on my bed.

Chin on my right breast,
tongue on my left.
I looked like I'd had
a ******* cardiac arrest.

Kaydee.

Hello's come and go
but goodbye's stay forever.
So,
I'll never say hello again.
So,
We can't be together.

Poetry by Kaydee.

He was warm
and shone bright like a son.
She was cold like a moon
and he knew he had to die that night
to make way for her.

Without regret.

Kaydee.

The trees and the river
where we loved to go.
With tents and dried kindling,
the fire, its glow.

Make swings in the trees
with mud on our knees.
Completing scout tasks
and the badges we'd sew.
Make rafts that we'd sail
and the scout songs, regail.

We'd follow the river
to see it unfold.
Now none of us go there
now that we're old.

Poetry by Kaydee

The clock on the wall,
like my bomb ticking.
The time, my time running.
Sat in the dark, everything to think.
Speechless, nothing to say, no point.
Doubters, expresionless, doubting.
There's only me listening.
Loneliness, the biggest killer.
Knocking at my door.
Might as well let him in.

Poetry by Kaydee.

It's watching over you, my love.
and you
you fear nothing
more than
me.

and you
ought to wonder.
For the fake love and
the feelings that you plunder.

For I am the rain,
I am the clouds
and
I am the thunder.

Can you feel it?
I am electric!
I am me
and I am you.

Kaydee.

Paul and his friend once said
"The rock feels no pain".
Yet, without mallet or hammer
the rock,
was smashed with forked tongue
and I wonder . . .
was it Art?

Kaydee.

Upon finding
I am burdened
with this
glorious purpose
came the stark
realisation
that I must
one day
triumph or fail
and with that,
I awoke.

Kaydee.

It's not a competition,
It feels like its a game.
The paths we are all walking,
I believe are all the same.

I'm sure you'll get there sooner,
and this is how it feels.
That's because I do insist
I walk my path in heels.

Kaydee.

It's a risky idea
you should give it some thought.
The wheels are in motion
and all stock is bought.

I'm thinking so fast
and I know what comes next.
No longer enthused
'cause my hyper can't last.

Did you take all your tablets?
The one's that restrain you.
Taking off in your spaceship
that's called hyper mania.

Super-thusiastic poetry
by Kaydee.

It's raining, it's raining.
Her blood, it is draining.
She went to bed, he smashed her head,
for nagging and complaining.

Now he's inside and oh, how he cried.
The lucky ******* should have fried.
Someone told her Mum & Dad,
I have some news, it's really bad.

She's loved to dance since she was five.
She can't do that, she's not alive.
He was a talent, web site creation,
he'll return to that when he gets probation.

Poetry by Kaydee.

Look inside you if you can,
deep where no one's ever been.
Embracing yourself in your own Kingdom, you are Queen.
Impossible to see
but what do you feel?
Open your third eye and
what you are is real.

A vibration from here.
A vibration from there.
You are the Queen of Everywhere.

Poetry by Kaydee.

One day you phone
and all you'll hear,
a dialling tone.
Next time you call,
the battery is dead.
I'm unconscious,
plastic bag on my head.

Was it something you said?
One more thing before I'm dead
and I'm thinking . . .
as I lie . . .
as I bleed . . .
"What size screwdriver do you need?"

Forty seven coloured leaves
have fallen from the tree.
Some were green,
some are gold,
each one of them is me.

She knew where she was going,
she knew where she had been
and all that time
when she was young,
she knew she was still green.

Add all the springs
and all the falls,
the winters that have past.
This leaf of gold is 47
and she is ageing fast.

Kaydee.

If prevention is better than the cure
(up the sentence for intimidation)
to much, much, much, much more.
Let me search my mind.
See what feelings I can find.

These thoughts I have
were never mine.
You gave me these.
Did I wrong you somehow?
Was it for your friends to please?
How many likes did you get?

  (black cloth on my head)
For the pain you imposed.
Unfortunately.
for you,
I have been whispering with the
jury of the (******) self righteous mind
and so,
your sentence,
will take your breath away.

Kaydee.

Yes I am ace, do you know what I mean?
I need to be out there, I want to be seen.
I have done before and I may do again.
I can't say who with nor can I say when.
Now click on the heart,
say you like my feed.
Though needing you more,
you're more than I need.

Poetry by Kaydee.

Nothing lost is something won
in that awkward moment
between birth and death.

Kaydee

To die is to understand
the cards you were dealt
and the cards in your hand.

You may question the journey
all the way through,
no matter the trauma

What makes you
IS YOU.

Can't wait to see the old man Wednesday week.
Give my update on exposing the freak.
I'll have to 'create' by Wednesday tea, so me Shan & Lloydy* can watch T.V.
I told Deb Simo, I count as best friend, but didn't consider how all this would end.
As one told another and the news spread.
The obvious outcome, my husband is dead.
What would I do without my old Mum who guided and led me to be with this ***.
By listening to Mum and taking advice, this peado has had me not once but now twice.
Oh didn't I tell you, when I was fourteen, he took down my knickers, did something obscene.
Now that my marriage has all ended bad, I've now got a boyfriend as old as my Dad.
And if you think that's a joke, here's one, he's probably due another stroke.
Three years of bad luck, what will I do next.
Send him vile messages, all via text.
It can't be long now, and when all is done at least me and Shan have had lots of fun.
Now his family all know, they smirk and they grin. Best just do that than risk say something.
But what will he do. He'll tell them they're through unless they come clean and point at us two.
As we'd always planned, "best get on our toes". He's not ******* stupid, he already knows.
So time to move on and find some new friends.
For me, you and him this is where it all ends.

Poetry by Kaydee.

Looks like we didn't make it,
I always thought we would.
Now the end is nearing
and it is getting late,
I never knew until today
your love would turn to hate.

I know that people change
and no one more than I.
I really didn't realise
you wished that
I would die.

by Kaydee
late in the day.

In my mind I have a hive
where a million bees live and thrive.
The killer bees have left, they've gone
I have no need, what's done is done.

The honey bees, that now I keep
so sickly sweet, they let me sleep.
The bees and I now live as one,
they'll follow me when I am gone.

Each one of them and from above
a little sting, from me with love.
So sickly sweet into your mind,
memories of me are all you'll find.

So every day that you live on,
equal days that I am gone.
See, suddenly it all made sense,
A life of pain,
your recompense.

Poetry by Kaydee

D                 is for dying
      i got tired of trying.
U                 is for upset
         but I couldn't cry.
S            is for sleeping
      in darkness i trust.
T          for triumphant
        now that i'm dust.

Then,
with dice in our pockets
and places to see.
Hope in our hearts,
a bright future forsee.

Rock paper scissors,
agreement was made.
We'd ride on the bus
to play games in arcade.

In the ponds and the bogs,
There were tadpoles and frogs.
By the bushes and thicket,
we'd play football or cricket.

With time on our hands,
like a slowing of sands.
A keeper we'd pick
with a showing of hands.

Playing until too dark to see,
only then would we return
for tea.

Now,
With mercury fillings
and gaps in our teeth.
Saving what money
to spend on a wreath.

Kaydee.

Are you ready?
Are you sure?

Then lean right in
and make him yours.

You're not ready?
You're not sure?

then tenderise your gentle touch
just a little bit more.

and perfect your kiss
that makes you his.

Until he wants you
no more.

Poetry by Kaydee.

A florist stands guard at the overgrown garden of broken stone teeth.
  Where a million flakes of silver and white covers neatly laid out boxes of bones.
  Small, separated audiences quietly chatting to themselves, unaware that no one can hear.
  Where their cold grey words drip from frozen blue lips on a falling mist of old sorrow.
  The trees once in full bloom appear dead, reflecting all life around.
  Where the butterflies and ladybirds used to play, just as the bones in the boxes did yesterday.
Those in attendance file out one by one. They peer left and then right, realising the flower lady has gone.
And it's on their way home as the time ticks on by, the realisation that
one day,
they too,
must die.

Poetry by Kaydee.

Held back by fear.
He said it wasn't him,
it was the beer.
You looked down as
I looked up.
So prosecution seems ****** up.
Look after me?
Oh, you ******' did that.

Writing stopped.
Cried so much.
So much.

I won't be your ugly creation.
I won't.

The light it shines,
My light, it shines.
Someone comfortable with my
untrusting mind, I'll find.
You, I'll find.
You, I'll find.

So walk with me, talk with me.
In time my scars will fade and
together we'll realise the
dreams once made.

Poetry by a tearful Kaydee.

Then comes the danger,
pretends it's a friend.
Infamous liars,
ultimate desires.
Intoxication
and the ******' rest.

Hours and hours
to be the best.
A balance to be re-dressed.
The best ******' dancer,
******' chancer.
Don't get ****** . .
. in
sin
sin
Good luck!

Kaydee.

All my cups are put away,
all finished for the day.
I sit here quietly on my own
with nothing much to say.
Well no, ok that's not entirely true,
things would be different
sat here with you.

Remember how we'd dance to ads,
the ditties on TV.
We'd nod our heads,
a couple of berks.
Yeah, didn't we have some quirks.

These things I need to find again,
but can't envisage when.
I sit here and I wonder,
"Will I ever find you again"

Poetry by Kaydee.