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Sara Kellie Jan 17
Yes,
yes I hear the pipes.
Stay with me.
Hold my hand.
Shhh, I hear your hush
Shhh, I hear your hush.
I'm not ready,
I'm not ready, too.
They're calling me.
They're calling me, from you.
I know,
I know it's time to go.

Goodbye.
Tears for those left behind
Jan 17 · 100
Lullaby
Sara Kellie Jan 17
The pipes began to pipe some more.
Baby don't rush,
baby don't rush.
Darling take some time, some more.
Please
hear my hush,
hear my hush.
I'm not ready no more,
not ready, no.
Only when you hear them sing
you'll know.
Baby you'll know,
you'll know it's time to go. . .
. . to go.

Goodbye.
Tears for one you never knew
Oct 2019 · 1.0k
Tidal (LSD)
Sara Kellie Oct 2019
Her saturate beauty
in violet black light.
The narcotic consent
some Saturday night.
Colours are bleeding
a vivid dream night.
Lysergic Acid Diethylamide,
Right?

A sleep pattern paisley
purple and green.
Faceless adversaries
heard, yet unseen.
A motionless panic,
unable to run.
Contorted, curled fingers,
now, isn't this fun.
The ups and downs of an
LSD ******.
Sara Kellie Sep 2019
A flower lady stands guard at the overgrown garden of broken stone teeth.
  Where a million flakes of silver and white covers neatly laid out boxes of bones.
  Small, separated audiences quietly chatting to themselves, unaware that no one can hear.
  Where their cold grey words drip from frozen blue lips on a falling mist of old sorrow.
  The trees once in full bloom appear dead, reflecting all life around.
  Where the butterflies and ladybirds used to play, just as the bones in the boxes did yesterday.
Those in attendance file out one by one. They peer left and then right, realising the flower lady has gone.
And it's on their way home as the time ticks on by, the realisation that
one day,
they too,
must die.

Poetry by Kaydee.
Notes of Mortality.
Aug 2019 · 303
In A Hole
Sara Kellie Aug 2019
Take a pop,
Sling a shot,
Marble in a hole.
These are games
we used to play.
All strikers
scoring goals.

Now we're all
just goalkeepers
trying to save it all.
Hold on to things
we never had
without dropping
the ball.

Poetry by Kaydee.
How it goes
Aug 2019 · 576
Awakening (Encore part 2)
Sara Kellie Aug 2019
Upon finding
I am burdened
with this
glorious purpose
came the stark
realisation
that I must
one day
triumph or fail
and with that,
I awoke.

Kaydee.
It was only a dream.
A dream about life.
Aug 2019 · 249
I Wanted You To Know
Sara Kellie Aug 2019
After I am gone,
I might just stay.
Not for long but for
a short while anyway.

I'll see you in the daytime
and call your name at night.
Switching on the t.v,
turning off the light.

The temperature drops
and it is getting colder.
I'll breathe into your ear
whilst touching your shoulder.

"It's me, I'm still here"
"Yes, you heard me right"
I'll sit on your bed and
watch you all night.

Now you know it's me,
It's time for me to go.
I never ever left you.
I wanted you to know

Poetry by Kaydee
A pre-message from
a post life haunting.
Jul 2019 · 296
We'd Follow The River
Sara Kellie Jul 2019
The trees and the river
where we loved to go.
With tents and dried kindling,
the fire, its glow.

Make swings in the trees
with mud on our knees.
Completing scout tasks
and the badges we'd sew.
Make rafts that we'd sail
and the scout songs, regail.

We'd follow the river
to see it unfold.
Now none of us go there
now that we're old.

Poetry by Kaydee
I used to be a boy scout.
Jul 2019 · 261
That Creeping Light
Sara Kellie Jul 2019
Stay on point,
remain on path.
A childhood thought,
a fiery wrath.
Safe and sound
now all is well.
Do not recall
your childhood hell.
The bedroom door,
that creeping light.
Remain tight lipped,
too young to fight.
When Mum goes out
stay quiet, I'd say.
Don't make a noise,
he'll go away.
Face buried deep,
the pillows cloak.
You got away,
your brother's broke.
He struck again,
too late to cry.
We couldn't tell,
he'd only lie.

Kaydee.
Jul 2019 · 909
Hungry
Sara Kellie Jul 2019
"I'm not hungry" she said.
"Let's both get undressed
and go straight to bed".
Her eyes peer down,
I've read that look.
She's only hungry
that we ****.
Both twisted, posed,
improbable feats.
Entangled, stuck in
satin sheets.
Back arched from touch,
sensual caress.
Opening of *****,
a fingers press.
A wanting tongue,
it reads her look.
A throbbing gland,
throes north and stuck.
Perspiring writhe,
one, two, we slide.
Enchanted throws,
"oh God" she cried.
Seismic shudders,
twisted face.
One final cry,
a tired embrace.

Poetry by Kaydee.
***
Jul 2019 · 224
Woke
Sara Kellie Jul 2019
Blessed are the fools
who remember read ink.
Fooled are the blessed
who critically think.

Kaydee.
Indoctrination
Jul 2019 · 267
Everyone Dies Poor.
Sara Kellie Jul 2019
At Prophets gate
in front of a jury.
Cannot be judged when
we have the same story.

Defined by our actions
yet separated by thought.
The battle lines drawn
based on **** we were taught.

The matrix created,
money to be made.
Dependent on memory,
reflected in grade.

Well how did you do
with the lessons you had?
Did you repeat the mistakes
of your Mum and your Dad?

So who is at fault?
We're all pawns in a game,
consuming their poison
for fortune and fame.

and now that it's over,
here is your prize!
That's right,
you get **** all
'cause everyone dies.

Poetry by Kaydee.
You come with nothing.
Trapped in a fake society based on greed and divided by race and religion.
You die with nothing.
Jun 2019 · 392
We Didn't Make It
Sara Kellie Jun 2019
Looks like we didn't make it,
I always thought we would.
Now the end is nearing
and it is getting late,
I never knew until today
your love would turn to hate.

I know that people change
and no one more than I.
I really didn't realise
you wished that
I would die.

by Kaydee
late in the day.
No notes
Jun 2019 · 180
Sing It Solo
Sara Kellie Jun 2019
My twin the mirror,
she looks just like me
Correcting mistakes,
I'll one day be free.

With words from my head
relayed with my tongue.
I write my own words,
I'll sing my own song.
Spitting words, dying, happy.
Jun 2019 · 187
Levelling Up
Sara Kellie Jun 2019
Take the pieces that remain,
I'm leaving them to you.
Use them wisely,
learn the game.
You're now on level two.

You cannot change
what others do.
So what will be, will be.
Remember this.
It won't be long.
You're now on level three.

No need for riches,
don't care you're poor.
Quit the race,
you need no more.
You're now on level four.

Organically dying,
body is old.
Your spirit is flying,
you feel alive.
You're now on level five.
Will we meet again?
When you get to level 10
Jun 2019 · 227
Flat Lining
Sara Kellie Jun 2019
You won't change me
to suit your views.
It cannot be,
you'll always lose.

Your thoughts,
your chants.
For redefining,
I'll still repel
when I'm flat lining.
Life's a ******
Jun 2019 · 311
What's Your Name
Sara Kellie Jun 2019
Dress the bones with flesh
and cover them in skin.
Name this doll,
this mannequin.
This meat case
I live in.

Kaydee
I'm just vibrating.
May 2019 · 147
Was It Real?
Sara Kellie May 2019
It seemed automatic,
the things that you'd do.
I never expected.
Not this,
not from you!

Now that you've done it,
how do you feel?
I never thought that I'd say it,
but yeah.
It felt real!

Poetry by Kaydee
I know it was real
I felt it!!
May 2019 · 214
The Path
Sara Kellie May 2019
It's not a competition,
It feels like its a game.
The paths we are all walking,
I believe are all the same.

I'm sure you'll get there sooner,
and this is how it feels.
That's because I do insist
I walk my path in heels.

Kaydee.
May 2019 · 442
D.U.S.T
Sara Kellie May 2019
D                 is for dying
      i got tired of trying.
U                 is for upset
         but I couldn't cry.
S            is for sleeping
      in darkness i trust.
T          for triumphant
        now that i'm dust.
May 2019 · 121
For All We Know
Sara Kellie May 2019
For all we know
we'll meet again.
The in between,
not now or then.
If I go first
I'll wait for you.
Your guiding light
to see you through.
I'll hold your hand
when you are sad.
I'll cry for you
throughout the bad.
I love you now
like I loved you then.
I'll still love you
when we meet again.

Poetry by Kaydee.
Forever love
May 2019 · 796
My Mud Pie
Sara Kellie May 2019
We play with creepy things
to quell the fear inside us.
Disguised in life it brings,
the woodlice and the spiders.
...
The mud pies and the worms
all made in preparation.
With life's persistent germs
a stronger generation.
...
And because what we consume
eventually makes us stronger.
The mud pies and the worms
will make us all live longer.

Poetry by Kaydee.
Building a natural immunity in life.
Learning, living and eating mud pies.
May 2019 · 217
Fuckin' Chancer
Sara Kellie May 2019
Then comes the danger,
pretends it's a friend.
Infamous liars,
ultimate desires.
Intoxication
and the ******' rest.

Hours and hours
to be the best.
A balance to be re-dressed.
The best ******' dancer,
******' chancer.
Don't get ****** . .
. in
sin
sin
Good luck!

Kaydee.
Good luck fuckerssss
May 2019 · 994
Walk With Me (Into Decay)
Sara Kellie May 2019
You couldn't reveal,
you wouldn't say.
This Mask I wore,
It weighed me down.
You didn't care,
It wasn't fair.
I held my breath,
You didn't say.

and now, . . .

I watered down your poison.
You cannot hold me now.
My arms held out,
waiting.

Nothing.
You'll run.
I know you'll run.
oh,
ok kid.

#Poetrybykaydee
Such a shame.
Admit.
Regret.
Oh kid.
May 2019 · 162
Poisoned Without Consent
Sara Kellie May 2019
If you know me.
I write from many a different mind.
Yes, they're all mine
You cannot quell my thoughts.
I refuse.
No, I absolutely ******' refuse.
You cannot **** what's in my head.
I'll do that myself.
When I am dead.

Kaydee
**** the suppresors
Poisoned without consent.
May 2019 · 133
On Green
Sara Kellie May 2019
I'm a future without brakes.
It's the only way to stop the pain
and my heart, the way it aches.
Red lights can't stop me now.

I'm nearly there.
I'm on the brink
of something great.
This time's my time
to celebrate.
I've changed my locks.
No longer suppressed.
May 2019 · 128
May We Share A Thorn
Sara Kellie May 2019
Would we halve the pain
if we shared it?
Or even better,
be spared it
'cause I'd give
you my rose
if
you
did.
x

Poetry by Kaydee
May 2019 · 608
Longer Than The Chair
Sara Kellie May 2019
With leather clad hands
and old plastic sheets
he makes up the reasons
for the people he meets.

They'll feel nothing's wrong
for he sings a sweet song
where false promises are made
with a smile from a blade.

And on a cold knife night
he'll extinguish their light
as they struggle for air,
for their pain
is longer than
the chair.
For seconds in the electric chair.
May 2019 · 386
Immovable You
Sara Kellie May 2019
To die is to understand
the cards you were dealt
and the cards in your hand.

You may question the journey
all the way through,
no matter the trauma

What makes you
IS YOU.
Nature of nurture?
Apr 2019 · 552
47 leaves
Sara Kellie Apr 2019
Forty seven coloured leaves
have fallen from the tree.
Some were green,
some are gold,
each one of them is me.

She knew where she was going,
she knew where she had been
and all that time
when she was young,
she knew she was still green.

Add all the springs
and all the falls,
the winters that have past.
This leaf of gold is 47
and she is ageing fast.

Kaydee.
Falling from the tree of life.
Apr 2019 · 606
Becoming the Moon
Sara Kellie Apr 2019
He was warm
and shone bright like a son.
She was cold like a moon
and he knew he had to die that night
to make way for her.

Without regret.

Kaydee.
I became her.
Mar 2019 · 852
Encore
Sara Kellie Mar 2019
Angels with torches lighting my way
down grand, windowed hallways
I'll walk down one day.
With framed, pictured memories
highlighting my past.
Flickering candles,
a shadow I cast.
All the while,
wondering why I am here.
This is the story of my yesteryear.
I suddenly realise that this is the end.
A man holds his hand out
and says
"Welcome my friend"

Poetry by Kaydee.
Visions of my last walk.
Sara Kellie Mar 2019
In life,
not all is as it seems

said me . . ,
. . . . to me

whilst chatting in a dream.

Poetry by Kaydee.
That poem you write when you dream vivid dreams.
Mar 2019 · 346
Memories Of Me
Sara Kellie Mar 2019
Memories of
sepia toned photo's
of a world once lived in.
Baggy shorts and huge shirts
of football games I played in.

Are memories, just that.
In a playground I once played in.

Though things have changed
some things remained,
like
the body I still live in.

Poetry by Kaydee.
Gender Dysphoria.
Mar 2019 · 2.9k
Addicted
Sara Kellie Mar 2019
Can't sleep for thinkin'
Can't wake for drinkin'
this place that I live in
to expensive to be in.

I tried just a taste
but that wasn't enough.
If I don't stop it now
I'll be back livin' rough.

Over populated streets at night.
For a doorway to sleep in
I'll have to fight and
hide under a blanket
until it gets light.

and repeat verse 3

Kaydee.
Addiction
Mar 2019 · 322
I Forgot How To Cry
Sara Kellie Mar 2019
I forgot how to cry.
Like the porcelain doll
in a white summer dress.
But just like it, I couldn't care less

Nor could I care more,
It was just too much.

My once teary eyes were useless.
My mind was blind.
Until I learned to love a little deeper.

I would never find, . . .
. . . me.

Poetry by Kaydee.
A lesson self taught
through darkened distraught.
Mar 2019 · 325
Honey Bees
Sara Kellie Mar 2019
In my mind I have a hive
where a million bees live and thrive.
The killer bees have left, they've gone
I have no need, what's done is done.

The honey bees, that now I keep
so sickly sweet, they let me sleep.
The bees and I now live as one,
they'll follow me when I am gone.

Each one of them and from above
a little sting, from me with love.
So sickly sweet into your mind,
memories of me are all you'll find.

So every day that you live on,
equal days that I am gone.
See, suddenly it all made sense,
A life of pain,
your recompense.

Poetry by Kaydee
Often writ in retrospect of memories, a cloudy recollect.
Mar 2019 · 1.8k
Dear Princess
Sara Kellie Mar 2019
When we first met you re-lit the flame inside my heart.
You gave me a need to survive and I never thought we'd part.
But this world is too ugly for me
to bear
and I don't want you to think that I didn't care.
So I wrote you this poem to explain to you why.
It wasn't anything you did and I don't want you to cry.
I'm sure you'll find a new home to stay where they'll give you your
food and a place to play.
Finally, try not to **** too many birds or you and I will be having words.
I'll be watching you from in the skies and every time it rains, that'll be the tears falling from my eyes.

Love from Mummy.

Poetry by Kaydee.
Mar 2019 · 174
I Gave You My Heart
Sara Kellie Mar 2019
Sorry I couldn't wrap it,
it's still warm and wet.
I thought you should have it
in case you ever forget.

Kaydee.
Mar 2019 · 732
The Ballot Box of my Mind
Sara Kellie Mar 2019
What colour my eyes,
you'll see right through.
Into my mind,
I'm showing you.

Angels of mine
have all absconded.
The ballots are in
and all are counted.

A landslide shows
only devils have voted.
So words of hurt
have been promoted.

Poetry by Kaydee.
Jan 2019 · 225
You (fuckin') Tool
Sara Kellie Jan 2019
Awww, such pity for the
narrow minded fool.

I gouge.
My finger, my tool.

Awww, pity . . , fool.
I slice.
My blade, my tool.

Awww, pity . . , fool.
I grind.
My hack-saw, my tool.

Awww, pity . . , fool.
I bury.
My shovel, my tool.

Tell me . . ,
You or me.

I rule.

Kaydee.
Chill out psychotherapist. See you Sunday.
Jan 2019 · 777
I Am You
Sara Kellie Jan 2019
It's watching over you, my love.
and you
you fear nothing
more than
me.

and you
ought to wonder.
For the fake love and
the feelings that you plunder.

For I am the rain,
I am the clouds
and
I am the thunder.

Can you feel it?
I am electric!
I am me
and I am you.

Kaydee.
Can you feel it?
I am electric!
I am me
and I am you.
Jan 2019 · 194
Fireworks
Sara Kellie Jan 2019
I don't know about heaven
but angels, I do.
They've sent along an invite.
So go along, I might.

I hope to see the fireworks
and you enjoy the show.

A burning red, remembering
the venomous words you said.

A calming green, reminding
you of what could have been.

A cold and sombre blue, dead
thanks to you.
***

Poetry by Kaydee.
It's just a ******' poem
Sara Kellie Jan 2019
Hello's come and go
but goodbye's stay forever.
So,
I'll never say hello again.
So,
We can't be together.

Poetry by Kaydee.
Do you follow your head
or your heart?
Jan 2019 · 297
The Edge
Sara Kellie Jan 2019
I'm on the edge.
I'm on the edge.
So many edges. . . .
with no chasms . . .
. . . . . . no freefall
. . . . I have crossed.
Overcome?

Where is my chasm?
"hurt"
"betrayal"
"pain, just pain"

I have overcome.

Where is my chasm?
"fatality"
"silence"
"peace"

No chasm, No edge.

Nothing.

Kaydee.
So many bruises. So many wounds.
Bruises with bruises.
Wounds with wounds.
Jan 2019 · 489
Rigor mortis (stale mate)
Sara Kellie Jan 2019
If prevention is better than the cure
(up the sentence for intimidation)
to much, much, much, much more.
Let me search my mind.
See what feelings I can find.

These thoughts I have
were never mine.
You gave me these.
Did I wrong you somehow?
Was it for your friends to please?
How many likes did you get?

  (black cloth on my head)
For the pain you imposed.
Unfortunately.
for you,
I have been whispering with the
jury of the (******) self righteous mind
and so,
your sentence,
will take your breath away.

Kaydee.
Justice served by any person other than yourself is and always will be empty.
Sara Kellie Jan 2019
With our extremities entwined
two pairs of digits, stroke in kind.
One pair, painted.
The other, dirt.
One of us delicate.
The other, dirt.

A soft and fragrant anticipation
succumbs to an accrid and earthy
magnetic like hold. . .
Hold. . .
Hold. . .
Thankyou Sweetheart,
you were great.
I'm going,
are you *******?

Poetry by Kaydee.
Work, ***, supper, bed
Sara Kellie Jan 2019
It's a risky idea
you should give it some thought.
The wheels are in motion
and all stock is bought.

I'm thinking so fast
and I know what comes next.
No longer enthused
'cause my hyper can't last.

Did you take all your tablets?
The one's that restrain you.
Taking off in your spaceship
that's called hyper mania.

Super-thusiastic poetry
by Kaydee.
Bi-Polar Disorder Factsheet link;
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1zheS1SsJMlf_y0oDqWRpSYGscIQ3hLgJ/view
usp=drivesdk
Dec 2018 · 1.1k
Armed
Sara Kellie Dec 2018
What would I do without you.
You're always by my side.
Giving my life balance.
You open doors for me.
Point things out to me.
You're always right
and left.

Kaydee
Dec 2018 · 342
Apathy
Sara Kellie Dec 2018
Tomorrow.
Wait until tomorrow.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
A better morning.
Afternoon.
Evening.

Tomorrow.
Wait until tomorrow.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
A better morning.
Afternoon.
Evening.

and repeat.

and repeat.
Apathy has become my way of life.
and repeat
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