I dreamt about the future. I believed that I would be in a place where love wasn’t something I was finding but something I had found. In my 22 years of existence, I never thought that I would have experienced such hatred for somebody.
I descended. I became one with my demons. I poured holy water all over my skin trying to find some sort of remedy to free myself from you. I kneeled to the floor and repented my sins. I became incoherent. I swam in my own tears and drowned in despair...isn't this what you wanted?...to see me crash and fall and break to the point of no return.
To be loved is to be stripped down to your core. Until the truth is exposed and you're an open book. And then be accepted. Not for the persona you created, or the fake meaningless words you use to impress, not the clothes you wear, the way you part your hair, or anything of the sort. But to be accepted in your pure state of self truth. That is love.
I spout nonsensical filler words in every sentence I speak. I say things, to say something, without Adding any meaning behind it. Because my most exposed, Raw thoughts, Would make this group go silent. I'm not accepted, Unless I wear this filter. It filters out all insightful and Substantial conversation. And replaces it with a slop of words, That make me Feel sick.
Long ago she lost the ability to cry. He thought her so hard When she turned her face and walked away As through she did not hear His gesture say, "I am drawn to you. Is something here to explore?" She walked away without looking back Then stopped. Looking straight ahead. He thought of himself, a man of power So he followed her , Lured with the intrigue to conquer
Yet, she did not desire to be conquered! She was only uncertain How do I express "I only want to be truly loved." He came to her. She resisted. He conquered.
She sank in despair, only more withdrawn The uncertainty about life looming. Does love even exist? Or is it only my illusionary butterfly? She walked away. Vowing not to ever be conquered again.
Time passed. She licked her wounds. She grew. She healed. Mending her once festered soul. No longer did she draw nor desire conquers
Now a golden bright sun Roaming the universe Circling as a bright new star. As she roamed into a sea of stars One came beside her and said, "I'm drawn to you. Is there something to explore here?" She replied, "Maybe so." So they danced among the other stars Until they found a rhythm of their very own. And a path along the universe To call their very own.
Without knowing our true self, relationships are difficult at best. Yet, there is lots of hope and opportunities to grow together in the process of getting to know each other. If this can be done. The longer term commitments have an opportunity to become more durable and strong.