The image of beauty is what our eyes see, however the arrainment of truth comes from within.
We can makeup our face and wear perfect attire,
At the end of the day it's a pure heart you desire.
The rose of so many colors  so beautiful to the eyes
As you reach down to touch  it,  beauty is it's disguise .
Covered down it's long sleek stem, sharp thorns await your touch.
Things and people of this world aren't always as they appear as you see the rose is to your touch.
As we read our children a fairytale , painting a picture as this,
Once upon a time, not long ago, was once or never to be.
Though we painted their eyes a picture of what we wanted them to see.
Our choice of reading how is it we make our choice, seemingly from the title , the cover of the book is most.
It's not until we go beyond what our eyes can see that we decide our interest in what we read. So you see , the rose of beautiful colors , the fairy tales of whats not will ever be , the book you judge by it's cover, until you look inside , beyond what your eyes can see, you never know the truth of the beauty from within .
©kimmied1105

A heart beats and gives you the gift of life but a heart breaks and and leaves you lifeless with no sense of hope.
Feeling as though you have a gift to see in others souls, comes with the curse of sadness of bearing their pain as well.
Something I've got to be missing in this life, why would you be given a gift to see and feel what others do if there's no way of changing or stopping their pain and hurt then what is the good of knowing it and the purpose if feeling it .
It's like being caged and chained to a floor as you sit back and watch as life's are being destroyed and all you can do is speak to them what you see while your heart feels the pain and hurt of what their life has been and shall be .
I'm searching for the answers of what it is I'm to do , I cry because I know and feel not only my own sadness but everyone else's too.
Some call it being an Empathy and give description I fit so well , I call it for the most part a curse of living hell.
©kimmied1105

Did you ever imagine your life to be ,  like a fish swimming around a fish bowl wanting to be free
One minute you are surrounded by family and friends, to swimming around a bowl that never ends.
The question haunts you every single day , why did my family just throw me away,
I always thought blood was thicker than water, now I don't believe.
Now I see blood can clot and family will deceive.
Like a fish swimming around a bowl with no end
I'm learning more each day nobody but you will always be there not family or a friend
No matter how many times a fish swims around his bowl it never finds it way
No matter how much you love and trust someone in your time of need they always go away
©kimmied1105

We search hopelessly for the love of our life. Basic reality leaves us to compare in most of the choices that we make ,  
Problem is we choose the things appealing to our eyes and leave the the rest alone  
Perfect point to understand the worth of a gem, some cut and polished and shine like the sun but once touched by the hands of man the worth of the gem is less valuable in comparison to the love we find the value of a beaten soul that's been torn and hurt by another, when you see her bruised face you pass her by for she wasn't appealing to your eyes.
Have you ever inquired the behind the scenes of a gem at the glance of it when it's dug from the ground, beneath the dirt and mud tossed and turned and beaten by mother nature and her wrath, it's initial find much like the passing of the bruised , is tainted by this world we live , ever wondered in your closed mind the true value of it's worth   go beyond what appeals at your first glance , wipe the Earths  **** from the gem and shine it up now do the same for the person you passed that another person abused, take them in let their bruises heal get to know their true worth, for the next time you walk about on a life journey in search of a gem or true love , don't pick the ones that are so appealing to your eyes , dig through the rubbel or see through the bruises and there my friend is the finest most expensive beauty of a gem and the true love your in search of  to spend the rest of your life with.  Beauty is only skin deep but knowing what's beyond the skin and outer core of appeal is the find I would treasure much more than the fakeness of the appeal
©kimmied1105

Look onward out towards the crashing waves of the sea.
It's there I dare to compare the rock holding form upon the crystal reef.
Compare to whom for there is no capable being upon this Earth holds claim to equal such
I know only one strong enough to withstand those  violently crashing waves , my hero , my daddy, his back totes the weight of the world every day , this rock standing firm in the heart of the crystal reef, holds little force to compare
Journey with me for your eyes won't believe
Young but recalling the blizzard one winter my hero, my daddy that returned from the mountain
Eyes of sky blue shining through crystals of icicle hanging from his lashes, his face purple from the wicked freeze of sleet.
I peered with pain while my mother laid warmth over my hero's frozen face, it was the rock in the reef that cold winter's day far across the fierce mountain snow he tracked to provide a meal a for his family
A wife and four girls , a back that had been broken not one but three times , I couldn't hold the tears in my eyes as my bus passed him walking as it drove me to school  there was no money for a vehicle, my hero, my daddy, five miles to and five miles home, every  single day for over six months and never missed a day , walked with his *******  back to provide for us
His hands were covered with hard labor of his life as the mines collapsed sparing his life as it ripped his finger away
His job led him underground just miles from hell for to long
Turning his lungs to it's likeness of the coal
Three days went by what seemed forever as the rubble they lifted from that mine was like holding a gun to the head of the men trapped in below
For the chance of that bullet one wrong move would send the mine and it's beings far beneath the earth to never be found.
We glared at the pile of rubble they said time was running out
Wait what does that mean as the families begin to weep
When all of the sudden the minor let out the words that sounded angelic to my ears, Men I see a light shining in the hole and it's coming towards me.
I could see as what looked in the form of a man but was covered with black from the coal the light from his hard hat turning side and up and down as he had one man on his shoulder he lifted him out and disappeared to retrieve the other men still down in that deep dark hole. One by one my hero my daddy brought them to their safety , this my friend is the rock from the reef that can withstand the crashing waves,  the man that tracked through a freezing blizzard to make sure his family ate, and the man that returned the husband's home safe to their family's from the depths of hell that day Always and forever this man will be , My Hero , My Daddy!
©kimmied1105

I messaged a friend that is one of our own on this wonderful sight HP., Her spirits are down as she's not doing well, . She brings brightness to all of our writes and takes so much pride in the comments she leaves, I was hoping we could all say a Prayer or send a kind thought her way. She has truly inspired so many of us , she has a heart of gold. Her name is Kim Johanna Baker. I know she will appreciate any and all kind words as we all have appreciated hers. This will lift her spirits so I thank you all in advance , for I have never met this beautiful woman that lives across the sea but she lays heavy in my heart as if I've known her for ever. Please leave her a comment if you have the time God Bless. Please repost this as I am new and have few followers and she has many so everyone can see.

This journey called life seems so unfair
There’s very little good to be found
But so much evil everywhere
It’s hard to imagine the way things
Were  way back in the day
When family stuck together and didn’t
Betray
Morals were valued and respect was
A must
When a mans word was all that he had
To earn trust
Love was cherished and loyalty was too
For back in the day this is all that we knew
There were no cell phones, video games or the internet heard of
Back in the day time was spent with the ones we love
Things of this world were so much better when Gods children could openly pray
The world was a much better place back in the day.

Dancing merely along,  my hair blowing in the warmth of the sun,  through the ever green meadow as the softness of grass tickle my bare toes .
This burning bliss of freedom caressing my body like the silken feathers of a swan. Dancing along no worries to hold me down. Closing my eyes , my senses aroused by the sweet scent of  luscious Jasmine in the air.  Nature has it's way of healing our souls, wind blowing the worries from my head, followed by the rain to wash them away, The sunshine comes to dry the rain as the moon awaits another day .

January 16, 1990, The day my life began to know true love. The anticipation rose with every contraction that came. I couldn't wait to put a face with her name. When she arrived, she stole the heart of every person that seen her. Her hair at birth fit perfectly in a little pink bow and she had the face of an angel. Not one flaw did my baby girl have, as she entered this world almost perfect.  Her eyes, the most captivating blue but with a unique black line defining them. Never at my young age, just turning 20, had my heart felt more joy and love as it did holding my precious daughter,  Mallory Ann, asking myself how something so perfect in every way could be mine. As she grew, she was as bright as she was beautiful. Advanced in every aspect of her fast developing life. Time wouldn't slow down and before I knew it, there she stood in her prom dresses, next her cap and gown. My baby girl was all grown up now and just as beautiful as the day she was born. Growing up very close, sharing everything together, I never dreamed there would come the day, I never seen it coming , my baby girl walked away. I went from being her only support that was by her side every day to a woman she grew to despise some where along the way. She was mom to her son at a very young age, I helped her the best I could or all she would let me, until she then to took my grandson away. I have missed out on his precious life and God knows I've made mistakes in my life but nobody is perfect needless to say. But when I look at her and the things she likes and the way she looks, it's like a mirror of a young  version of me, I miss her and my little Roo every minute of every day, I think of how wonderful it would be to have them in my life again, but the one that wronged her and was never there gets her forgiveness and love while I remain her worst memory as she sees no good in me and doesn't remember all the sacrifices and love and the teaching of morals and respect she was taught, for it hurts my heart as the credit goes to other people in her life   I can stand today and know the truth and feel the hurt and pain and the loss because the day will come when I'm no longer here and I won't feel the loneliness any longer. I only know I love and miss her and my grandson more and more every day . When the good Lord calls me home that's when the pain will go away

One of these days , you will see my worth and know my loyalty, you will understand  what  I gave and realize I gave it all. You will look back on the dreams we had and the memories we made, when we could have made so many more. You will realize and acknowledge all of the things taken for granted , you will then understand all of the insults and harsh words weren't necessary. Although you may have hurt my heart and scarred my soul, you have only discouraged me for the moment, and I may never forget the things you said but I always forgave you. I never claimed perfection and stand in my own wrongs. The only difference is, I can own my faults and admit them to you , will it all be worth it in the end, when your faults can only touch one soul, and that one soul will be only you.?

Listen closely to the sound , this seashell that has floated upon the shore  of white sand, as you place it's magic upon your ear, the rippling sound of the crashing waves is what you hear.
Oh how I wish I could fit inside, for the tide descending back into these Waters of blue, carrying me into the majestic ocean floor beyond the sands never touched by man, the beauty these Waters allow us to see, I am imagining how mysterious the rest could be, for we haven't a clue.    Laying beneath the so much unseen , lost city's, sunken vessels, treasures of a time long ago , the story of another time  all buried beneath a place we dare not go. Laying beneath the grounds of our feet another world  left undiscovered , only to imagine, the the secrets it keeps , the magestic land that remains unseen.

The vibrance of your seductive stare taunts me to invite your touch.
Your eyes turn from a hazel gaze to the fire depths of an emerald green
I can feel your soft caress as your hand slides down my body
My insides bursting with desire as you press your lips to mine
Tasting your breath with my wet tongue feeling your depths become hard
Teasing me could be dangerous as I whisper in his ear
His hands slide over the peaks of my mounds infliction of pain  of wanting more of him
Take me you fool if it's submission you desire it's granted
Do as you please ,my body craving his feel
His touch fell beneath my waste as I felt the throbbing of my *** about to explode.
As his prince entered my castle thrusting and throbbing until the vanes in his body surfaced I felt his sweet release
Our bodies fit like a glove as we lay between the silky sheets
My love there's nothing that can compare to the beauty of the fireworks we ignite with every passionate stare.
© kimmied 1105

I sit here this morning and stare as he sleeps.
So precious and perfect in every way, if I could only erase the memories he keeps.
He was born into this world to love and raise ,
to teach him morals and respect and give God his praise
He's seen more in his life than a little boy should .
I would take it all away only if I could.
He looks up to you now in every way.
At least he has up until he asked me today.
A question I didn't want to hear or respond
Although I'm sure I know the answer and it's all wrong ..
You're the one special man he was so proud to say .
Maw maw , Corey is going to be my step dad one day.
I can only hope that you love him  enough that you won't let him down.
This little boy, my grandson, deserves a happy home and a good father figure around.

Thirteen long years spent under his thumb. Sixteen years old is when this begun.
I thought I was in love , now I know I should have left after the first shove.
I stayed instead, chalking it up as one too many drinks,. Time went on only getting worse, as I got pregnant with his child.  The control he had over me was more than mild. It was a push and a shove pulling my hair but worse than that was the emotional abuse he just didn't care.
The longer I stayed the worse it got , now there was another life I had to protect.
My story goes on for around 10 more years , another baby  with him and many hidden tears .
Please don't judge others by what you may see because behind those closed doors is a scarred and scorn woman that wants to be free .
Free from the abuse she gets everyday the threats of him taking her life away . The fear of what would happen to her children if he snapped and did what he said, The fear she feels laying beside  a monster in her bed, the fear that her children will grow up to believe that abuse is ok because that's all they see ,
So this is a sickness a disease, to treat any human so inhumane,
I don't look for pitty but hope someone out there reads this and it changes their life.  You see , I am not a Victom but I am a true Survivor of Domestic Violence you may not be as lucky as me if you stay I promise you you don't have to do anything else just get away .  
© kimmied 1105

I admire your canning ability to gain my full attention. I can sense your desire to ****** me by your hypmatizing glare, your come hither look is flattering, but I must warn you to be aware.
As some things in life may not be as they appear. For through your eyes my appearance is that of a pure lady with *** appeal , as my silken dress is pressed to fit every curve just right , with a slit running up it stopping mid thigh. Just enough room for an imagination to run wild. My top folded delicately enough you can see perfect cleavage, just enough of my tanned breast to leave you wanting more. Making my way through the crouded party to the balcony overlooking the beautiful ocean. Standing alone with my eyes closed listening as the waves crash in, I feel a presence behind me and your hot breath against my skin, the chill bumps run across me, I almost lost control, your body so tight against me I can feel the beats of your heart.
The sensation of Sparks begin to ignite as you gently run your finger up the slit of my dress, teasing my lace *******, pulling them to the side.  I could feel myself throbbing as my wetness surrounded your finger as you slid  it inside me. My knees growing week with every move you made. I leaned into you and whispered softly in your ear, I've given you fair warning things aren't always as they seem but you continue to toy with me you don't know what you are about to unleash.  With a quaint little smirk he added a finger his thumb up against my ****, you are bringing me to my explosion of pure ecstacy.
There was no holding back as I released my sweetness his hardness was like steel, you have released the freak in me as we make our way on the beach , ripping clothes off left and right I knelt down in front of him as he placed himself in my hot wet mouth my eyes piercing up at him as he pulled the back of my hair, I pushed him over as I mounted him  and gave him one hell of a ride.  As we finished both more than pleasured , still on top I look down and say  do you understand now my warning to you as you turned a **** lady into a complete freak in bed.

Before you go on to read  my writing, I ask that you read the one Titled " A Mother's Worst Fear" as you will appreciate and  understand this better .  As i sat patiently waiting  for my best friend of 20 years to be uncaged and given his freedom,
The excitement as I arrived must have blinded my entrance, never paying any mind to my surroundings , until I checked in with a guard and showed him my licence. He said without a smile for me to have a seat in the lobby, as I turned to do just that my heart hit the ground and then it hit me , I was standing in a building centered in the middle of a huge rounded  fence laced with razor sharp barbed metal.
I couldn't imagine the look on my face as I found me a seat, thoughts and emotions running so deep.
I couldn't help but notice 2 women sitting across from me, engaged in conversation. I heard one say her son was the young age of 19  , he had been stabbed four times in 2 different prisons, as the other chimed in her boy was now 30 this was his second time behind the fence of barbed wire
I tried to keep my head down so they couldn't see the tears welling in my eyes ,  my throat felt like a cotton ball was lodged I couldn't hardly swallow,  they shared their stories of their sons and their convictions, one was saling drugs the other robbed a store. Something inside me felt like a knife taking jagged strikes through my heart. My purpose for being there lost in my thoughts, I tried to stay silent and go unnoticed to reframe from any invitation of conversation   as one lady spoke up. Ma'am are you here to get your son too. I can't imagine the look on my face as I choked through the ball of cotton to respond to her. No ma'am unfortunately I'm not his release isn't until November of this year, my best friend of 20 years is the reason I'm here. Dropping my head back down I couldn't reframe any longer, the pain to much, tears rolling down my face as I tried wiping them away. My thoughts of my baby boy running rapid, God how I wish I was here to get him.
The men in uniform in and out , leaving me sickened with the metal doors slamming and self locking at their exit and entrance. The men all around the centered building I waited ,all wearing white with large black words stamped on their backs "Property of the State" Nothing but glass between them and me, I watched as some gathered while others sat alone in their own little world and wondered what my baby did when he was out there , was he joining the others in a game of ball or was he all by himself sad and alone. A guard informed us it wouldn't be long now, they were signing their release, The mother's excitement filled the room, was I being selfish, I should be excited to. soon I would see my best friend,  but all that my mind could think was God why can't I be waiting on my boys release. I picked up my friend as we got in the car, he noticed my silence and could see I had been crying , his age and conviction and knowing me so well, he offered me his condolences and then he said, you know I would've traded places with him just to see you reunited and happy again. Piercing pain and sorrow over took me now .we weren't even out of the parking lot I couldn't see to drive through my tears, I hugged him tightly and said, this is why you will always be my best friend for the next 20 years. My son called me later that night to congratulate my friend as I heard his voice crack on the other end of the line he said tell Mr. David I'm glad he's free , hey momma don't worry it's not my turn yet , he's aged and doesn't have the time left out there I do, for the next time you walk through this fence of barbed wire it will be me walking out to go home with you.

©kimmied1105

I will stand by your side because I always want you to stand by mine. I will try my best to consider your feelings in hope you consider mine.  I will choose my words carefully if we disagree and hope you choose yours just as careful when speaking to me. Each memory of us I will hold in my heart, and hope you cherish them the same. I will be loyal, honest and love you with every breath that I take. As I Pray you do also in every decision you make  You are My Soul  Mate. My Love My Very Best Friend,  MY HUSBAND TO BE,  til death do we part, forever You and me!
©kimmied1105

Your presence is volcanic, your body glowing from the heat within.
As you come closer the seductive scent of your cologne intrigues my senses.
My eyes close to Invision your body with steam of your breath against my skin ,
Our bodies come together, I feel your insides roar.
Anticipating your next move as I lay beneath you, your steamy beads of hot lava flowing down your body on to mine..
The burning feel of pure satisfaction waiting to erupt,
Feeling the chills of pleasure cover my skin as my body bears it's sweet realease, like an eruption of the volcano as it prepared to unleash.
The hot lava throbs inside of me from your volcanic eruption and leaves us limp like the smouldering Ash that lay beneath us.

Remembering the time so many years ago
Aunts and Uncles, and their children all drove for miles,
For this I ask myself , as the dinner table amused me
like the
Movement of a Merry go round
Round one round two
Could we carve the **** bird before round three
Not a chance first sisters vs sisters the circus life amusing not so as our holiday cheer. It's never enough joined their husbands like freaks a muse  from a mime show couldn't rain so clear. At last the children joined in a rustle a bustle round and round we go
Can someone stop this ride I scream this family is a joke
Next year I'm begging you to miss the turn to this circus mochary get your kids and don't forget the dog see your way to the door
Aw the circus life is a freak show Everytime our family gets together
Don't send an invitation nor will I just remember in order to ride this ride you must be so tall take a seat , keep your hands and your feet inside the ride at all times because if your family is your foa distinguished such as mine hold on tight it's gonna be a ride to remember oh one hell of a ride

The heat intense like your body basking in the sun, sweat forming tear drop shapes,  rolling in slow motion as it finds it's destination .
I try to look away but my mind being held hostage,   my insides  burning and begging to be touched.
Heart beats growing rapid raging fire deep inside.
Oh my God you haven't touched me physically but your sexiness is ****** my mind.
Teasing and taunting mind blowing as I glare at you beginning to touch yourself.
Melting my sensation, from a purring kitten my transformation out of control,  watching the pleasure on your face as your hips begin to run wildly in sequence with every ****** of your hand , I'm losing control. My inner beast can't take anymore,  As I straddle your face my fingers spreading my wet folds , your tongue dancing inside me, my vision becomes blurred my hips lock as the contractions pump wildly releasing  the juice of my fruit. My body so limp from the intense release as you turn me over like a rag doll and guide yourself inside of me. Your sweat now like the rapids running down stream chasing a waterfall, the hot wet friction between my thighs as my nails scream pleasure down the skin of your back as you burst sensation both pain and pleasure inside of me   our breath of hard labor and bodies immobile, after hot passionate love making leaves us exhausted

The wind on the beach blowing a soft breeze through my hair, as the hint of salty sand caressed my lips of fresh gloss,
My eyes closed as my ears listened to the peaceful sound of the waves crashing on to the  shore .
My satin sundress cuddled my body from the force of the wind , the exotic arousel of the fresh ocean air in traps my mind into a place far away where the  dolphins swim freely by your side and the sea horse tickle your toes. A place made up of sparkling white sand and water off emorald green.
The serenity and peace of mind are unlike no other place except the place with so many hidden secrets left to discover buried far beneath it's floors of coral and gems and lost treasures which may forever go unseen.
So far below us yet it sends it's magic through the waves upon the shore or crashing into the reef, dropping some of it's beauty for us to see like the conk shell, as we place it to our ear we can hear the sound of the ocean or the sand dollar, if broken just right it holds the beauty of a seagull fitting perfectly in it's middle. My place like no other the land I long to see, the land far away under the sea.

I never could imagine you raising your voice in a violent outrage  of anger to me:
Now that voice is all I hear.
I was convinced that your eyes would always glow when you looked at me:
Now when I look into your eyes hatred  and anger is all I see.
The way you made me feel loved every time you came near:
Now I wonder if you ever loved me or what I am doing here  
You always comforted me when I had a head ache or didn't feel well :
Now you could care less or if you do I sure can't tell.
I wish you would come back to me before it's to late.:
I want to feel you kindness and love again not anger and hate .
©kimmied1105

Every second of every hour, my heart lays heavy as thoughts of you race through my mind,
Oh my son how I am missing you.
Hours turn into days, days into weeks, never a moment passes by, I try to chase a happy thought visioning  your beautiful smile,  it never lasts long enough and once again I cry,  Oh son I'm Missing You.
Hearing your voice on the phone is a blessing every time, I never let you know that when we speak your voice tells it all. I can read you like a book just by your tone. Some days I hear a young man grown up so much but other days I can hear your pain and sense your fear and I know how bad you wish you were home. Oh my son I'm Missing you .
Every Holliday is sad for me as I know it is for you. Sweet baby boy of mine, two years have passed, it seems like forever since I've seen you. If we can just hold on a little longer, this uphill battle we've been on is on the down hill side of over. My Sweet Boy God  only knows How Much Your Momma is Missing You..

This family I have all began with a girl named Bella, she was more than adorable. Loyal and loving she was one of a kind. She never ran off until one day she never came home, my heart broke as I searched near and far, not only taken from me but 5 babies left behind.  I was trying to find these babies a loving home but attached from day one I kept them for my own. Oh my the destruction they caused, 3 girls and 2 boys, Heaven, Sadie, Sky, Junior and Buster along with my shitzu,  Zoey. Never a dull moment as each one special in there own way. Little did I know the place where we lived the ground they played upon made every one of them poisoned by parvo and deathly sick. My Fience and I worked round the clock administering medication and fluids to 6 very sick puppies. Our battle seemed to never end as death filled our home and we lost one. Exhausted and drained as i laid beside our remaining babies, death sunken eyes peered up at me from each and every one as if asking me "momma please save us for what have we done"  I burst into tears as I gathered them all near, laying my hands upon there tired bodies I closed my eyes and began to Pray, God please heal my babies make them better through my hands, I know you can work miracles so I'm begging of you to spare the life of my babies I pray unto you . As silence filled my home covered with doom, my body grew numb , I knew God was here. I began praying harder never lifting my hands as the heat from my hands became even hotter I couldn't remove them from their bodies. Chills ran through me like I've never felt before, releasing my hands as I looked in their eyes , the death that once consumed them appeared to go away. Within a matter of hours one by one they began to get well. I dropped to my knees and gave God his Grace for saving my babies that day. Every word I've said in this poem is 100% true, A wonderful testimony of how love , faith and God healed my furbabies that day.

©kimmied1105