thank god i can’t write good poetry
the best poetry comes from pain and hurt if you ask me
so although i can’t write like i used to
at least it means i’m doing alright

it can be so incredibly amazing
yet so incredibly isolating
to realize you’re one of a kind
and no one will understand your mind

i’ve realized why you still leave me so speechless
it’s because my vocabulary has never found anything so deserving of such amazing words

dear reader,
if you’re going through a breakup
in an unhealthy situation
or it’s just complicated
this is for you:
if they don’t make time for you, don’t make time for them.
don’t sacrifice your heart to someone that wouldn’t do the same for you.
if they’re not treating you right, find a way to love and respect yourself enough
to get the heck out of there.
if they say they will change and they don’t change after 3 or 4 times, don’t let your heart get broken anymore.
learn to know when to let go, and if you don’t love yourself, you sure as hell cant love anyone else.

when i say i love you
i mean thank you
thank you for loving me
even knowing my past
thank you for treating me
like i never knew i deserved
and thank you for being with me
for i know it's not easy

everything will be okay
a reassuring phrase
used by
people
that don't possibly know
the outcome
or
the future

don’t take what someone says to heart
their comment is nothing but an opinion
not a fact

it’s funny that we push people away
when we want them to stay
no wonder people drink
it’s like humans just aren’t meant to think
a human without emotion
is just a robot
not knowing why you’re feeling these feelings
is worse than having a reason
i’m in habit of giving someone pieces of my heart
without referring to the return policy
but i guess i’d rather be deep then shallow
i see my reflection in my shadow
and in the end i’d rather feel everything
than feel nothing at all

treat me well
or treat me badly
either way
i'm still a *******

i wish you loved yourself half as much as i love you

never
ever
let someone make you feel bad
or upset
over a choice that makes you happy
and feel free

i’m tired of telling people to have a good day
i just want to help them have a good day

how come when i have a thought so powerful and it makes me feel happy
i can’t hold on to it
but when i have a thought so devastating and it makes me sad
it stays in my mind all the **** time

perhaps the reason i play sims
is i’m convinced that it’s the only way i’ll be able to experience a life
other than the one i have now

no two cars are the same on a highway
they may be the same make or model
but they may not have the same engines
that operate the same
or seen the same stretch of roads
and some cars just aren’t meant for certain terrains
so why do we treat other humans any differently?

life is too short to wish you were living someone else’s

you can change my mind
but you can’t change my heart

you’ll never know
probably ever
the impact you have on a strangers life
by simply being kind
you may keep them alive
so even on your worst days
be a nice person
because even if you want to die
you may save someone’s life

my worst days now
are my best days then

it’s not that i don’t trust you
i just have trust issues
i guess i’m trying to say it’s not you
it’s me
or does that just sound too cliche?

how come i want to do so many things
yet i can’t even bring myself to get out of bed
how come i have so many thoughts
yet none of them leave my head
how come i’m the only version of myself
yet there’s always someone i’d rather be
why can’t i be enough for me

the thing about me
is i will push you out the door
slam it
yet look back
and hope you open it again

i don’t know who i’m trying to be
but i refuse to be anything less than extraordinary

this love
it may not be conventional
but it is my love
it is your love
it is our love
and baby
so long as you're mine
and so long as i'm yours
this love
our love
is more than i could ever
have wanted
or believed
i deserve

i feel like i can’t move
i have no motivation to
so i don’t
but laying in my bed
i also feel so powerful
and like i can change the world
but i can’t
because i’m laying in my bed
lost in my own head

i try to write you love poems
but you just leave me too speechless
there is no rhyme scheme or meter
to the rhythm of your love
just the steady beat of your heart
that has captured mine

how can i talk about how the world is
when i’ve only seen such a small part of it
but i guess when you’re stuck in a bubble
it starts to be the only world you know

you curse yourself
for not staying strong
but you don't take the time
to remember how long you've been standing
because even the strongest of walls have their weak points
and the toughest of superheroes
have their kryptonite
the sturdiest of foundations have their cracks
it's just a matter of time
before you crumble down
after staying strong
for so long

you must lose yourself in order to find yourself

do you still remember all the advice i gave you
even though i did the opposite?

i never did fully appreciate the stars until i met you. but that's just the thing, they were always there. just like you. i just didn't look hard enough. you're something i didn't know i needed. now that i have you, i've learned to find the beauty every little thing. like the stars. they're beautiful, and they're always there once the sun falls, a lot like how i've fallen for you.

i rarely use the word happy anymore
because i’ve realized what a temporary
thing it is
it’s funny i think i’ve use it in the past
to make others happy
i’m sorry that i can’t be happy
for you
because i can’t be happy
for myself
so used to this low dark feeling
that feeling good is unsettling
if a tree falls in the woods alone
with no one to hear it
does it still make a sound?

men and women are forced in to boxes and labeled
with no room to grow
told that colors you wear make you a boy or girl
the clothes you wear, the things you do
how you act
for some reason
make you only a boy or girl

the more memories in my head that become unrepressed
the more i realize that i’m blessed
it took a lot to get me here
and the end is nowhere near
because life is a journey, not a race
i’m so grateful to be in this place
and i tell myself
it could always be worse

being different
may mean you’re not normal
at least to society
but it also means
you’re brave enough
to break the mold
and to me that’s more rewarding
than fitting in

you and the stars are so alike. so stunningly amazing. and i find my self gazing in awe at you. because i fall more and more for you every day. and like the stars, i always know at the end of the day, you’ll always be there for me.

i hope karma gets you
in the worst way
and the most surprising way
imaginable
i hope it bites you in your *****
and puts you through hell
i hope you learn
that life isn’t as easy
in this small town bubble
the only place we’ve known
i hope you learn
that diving straight in the deep end
will have consequences
i guess karma
will be waiting
with snarling teeth

either i have butter fingers
or happiness is coated in butter
because i can’t seem
to hold on to it

i know this will all makes sense one day
but right now i just want to fast forward and then hit play
because in my mind demons stay
and nightmares haunt me even when awake

i may not have tests or homework anymore
but life is a test enough alone

i wish i had the vocabulary
to explain the feelings i have for you
but something like that
would take a lot of research

your arms keep me warm
your lips erase my bad thoughts
your fingers wipe away my tears
you take away my fears

i always ask myself
what i did to deserve you
but i guess you can't
question fate

you make me want to
never stop telling jokes
just so i can see
you smiling at me

but hey
i'm okay
i'll be fine
so long as you're mine

i’ve learned this past year to just be yourself and embrace it. no point in fighting it if people are going to judge you no matter what. not that it’s that easily achieved to just be you. but just doing stuff you want to not because someone else wants you to is so liberating.

my biggest fear has evolved from my fear of being alone: not being understood. that is the most isolating thing i’ve come to fear

instead of asking
"what do i want to give to the world?"
i find myself asking
"what does the world want from me?"

there's so many beautiful things in the world
works of art in fact
yet with all of that stuff out there
i think i'd just rather look at you

it’s seems like i don’t control my moods, but they control me

there’s million broken thoughts
behind that forced smile
there’s a million broken silent screams
behind that forced laugh

tell me why everyone has to hide it
when we’re all feeling the same thing
i promise i understand what you’re going through
we’re all feeling the same thing

i cannot quite explain the fears inside my head
but they express themselves
in the broken skinned lips i have
and the gnawing on dead skin
they express themselves
in the chewed on fingernails
they express themselves
from the sores from picking at hangnails and scabs
and they express themselves
from popping my joints as much as they will allow
do i look as anxious as i feel
half of this **** i don't even realize i'm doing

it used to be
the nights i couldn't remember
were the nights i couldn't forget
but you have changed that
because while i was trying to drown myself
and cover the problems in my head
they were still underneath
i had no hope
until you came along
i was lost
until you found me
and now with you
i'm slowly
finding myself

young people’s dreams are crushed
by the place they go where they are taught
to learn a cookie cutter way
and that their gifts are not gifts
in a world like this
we’re meant to be robots
creativity and originality is
simply dismissed