i've worn glasses for as long as i can remember
i can't remember the day i got my first pair
hell i don't even remember what having normal vision is like
if i even had it
depression is a lot like that
once you have it
you don't really remember what its like to not have it
i may not have had it my whole life
yet it sure feels like forever
but thats a thing i've adjusted to
like my eyesight
with a new pair of lenses

-breathe in
-breathe out
-don't try so hard to prove yourself to others
-don't be so ******* yourself
-breathe
-just keep breathing even when it hurts
-don't forget how much you're loved

the stars are resemblant of life itself
sometimes they're bright
and shining
like the good days
and sometimes it's cloudy
and their beauty is masked
like the bad days
but all you have to remember
is that underneath it all
is that the stars are still there
stars keep shining
life goes on
you just have to look forward
to the stars shining

i envy those who do not feel so hard
or think too deeply
because **** this **** is exhausting
trying to find the perfect words
or trying to find the reason for everything

although we’re in the same town still
we’re on separate planets
and every time our worlds collide
i find you on my mind

hey
i know you’re going through a lot right now
and i know you think life isn’t worth it right now
but think of all the today’s
you thought you wouldn’t get through
and all the hard times
you thought would **** you

but please just keep going

you don’t know how long the future will last
unless you make it through this moment
that you feel like will last forever
until one day it’s in the past

then you’ll look back and say
“hey that wasn’t so bad anyway”
you have to just
keep
going

wait too long for a sign, and not only will time pass you by, but so will the moment you were searching for.

sad to know that i could compliment you a thousand times, yet it takes one negative comment to wash that all away

you are my sun when it is daytime, and my stars when it is nighttime. even when some days and nights are cloudy, i know you're still underneath it all. your arms are rays of energy that fill me with warmth and brighten my days. i look in to your eyes and everything else just seems to fade away. who knew the sky could be so pretty, although it is gray.

the day i met you
in knew from the moments
leading up to it
the feeling of emptiness
was me missing you
and now when we’re apart
even for a little bit
it’s me missing you

though you many feel lonely
with what you’re feeling
you are never alone

depression has taken away everything else important to me in my life so i have no choice but to write about it

tell me you want me
tell me you need me
and promise me
you'll never leave me

“money can’t buy you happiness” sure, but it can pay bills that keep you afloat for a month

the thing is
when you hurt me
you'll hurt more
i guarantee it
i'll forgive so easily
and quickly
that you'll have no choice
but to question
whether i'm actually hurting or not
it will fill you with guilt
how i'll wear a mask
and say i forgive you
as i slowly close up
overthinking every little thing you told me
but no
i forgive you
it's okay
i'm fine
it's fine
tell me more of those sweet little lies

here i am rising
up the chain lift
and for a split second
i’m on top of the world
i can see everything clearly
and as soon as it began
i come crashing down
so fast
it could give me whiplash
everything moving in a blur
and the feeling makes me ill
so i’m stuck riding
this endless rollercoaster
and you’d think i’d be used to it
by now
but hey
at least i’m living

we could all be a teacher
we’re all wise about something
taught lessons we didn’t ask for
as we make our way through life
and we can teach people going through
similar things
what we learned from those lessons
we’re all just naive students and teachers
in this school called life
that have learned so much
and have so much to tell about
yet have so much to learn

working in retail isn’t as bad as it seems
it’s just certain people
act a certain way
and make it so difficult
but the people are the ones
that control how your day goes
but you can’t even control
how their day goes
besides one single interaction

why is it some people will try so **** hard to drag you down to their level of happiness, when they could be working on getting on your level of happiness

can i get a refund on life please
this **** was sweeter when i was younger

if i had one wish
it would be to see in to the future
but as long as you’re in it
there’s nothing i would change

i leave your office feeling like i’m on top of the world
but then i feel the world on top of me

i am aware
that bad days exist
and will never cease to exist
so it seems
but i know
that there will be good days
or at least days slightly better
than the bad
to give comparison
and yes it's a tiring rollercoaster
i don't like too wild of rides
but so long as you're next to me
for this head-whirling ride
i'll never stop smiling

if you’re a good person
even better things will come

when i leave this earth
and everything i do is in vain
at least i helped with your pain
even if it was just for a day
you’ll never suffer alone

-being alone
-getting too attached

well looks like we have a problem here

why are the only fun things in life bad for you or illegal

don't fret about **** you can't change
it will only tear you apart
you are who you are for a reason
perfectly imperfect from the start

i am the resemblance of a scab
that healed your wound
you kept picking at me
because you thought i was bothersome
and a sight for sore eyes
but i just wanted to help you
to heal that wound you had
to be your natural bandaid
but one day i left
left you with a scar
for you to look at and remind yourself
who used to be there
and only wanted to help you heal
and now i'll never be seen with you again
but hey, you look good
better than i thought you would
with out me you wouldn't look so pretty
hell you'd probably still be in misery
bleeding out i fell for you
but that's all i was such a shame
only used me to heal your wound
but that scar looks nice on you too
hope you don't think about me too soon

i must've been homeless for quite some time
because now in your arms i feel like home
because when she gave me a cardboard box
that i gratefully took in as i needed the shelter
you've given me a castle
and have made me feel like a **** queen
how could i even begin
to thank you

sometimes you have to be weak in order to be strong

i’m not who i was
anymore
and i don’t know who
im meant to be
but what i do know
is that i never cried in her
arms before
so when i say you’re important
to me
i really mean
there are so many words for you
i don’t know how to say
it’s been almost 9 months
and you still leave me speechless
mostly because
i’ve never felt love like this
baby i don’t deserve this
but you are the reason
i don’t feel worthless

there’s a hole in my heart
but what does it need?
i’ve tried drinking, juuling, ***, and smoking ****
whenever i felt this way you were always there
but now thanks to you it’s why i need repaired

the only promise i can keep
is that i'll love you unconditionally
no matter how hard it gets
no matter what gets in the way
i'll find my way
back in to the arms
i call home

i think what’s wrong with
society and laws
is we’re trained when driving
that yellow lines
are the only things
that separate
safety
and a fatality
what’s holding someone back
from causing a homicide

find a passion to keep your days passing

everyone in my head
is so judgmental
no they're not voices
they're conversations
i've made up
and haven't even happened
yet

being gay/trans/“abnormal” isn’t a disorder, but that kinda attitude sure is contagious

it’s hard to have a positive outlook on the future with depression
when that’s what i feel all the time

you're a chapter book i can't seem to put down. there's a lot more to you and i want to keep reading you to figure it out. once one chapter ends another begins. i want to memorize every page of you, to be able to read you with my eyes shut. and after this book is finished i hope i'll be in the sequel.

i'm too busy drowning
in the waves
of the sea
to realize
that my feet
aren't even wet

i believe it is wrong to say "it's not about how you get there, its about the end result" because when you finally make it to where you want to be will you be proud of what you have done, when there's no where to go, not even back.

i know you have to go
but please i have to know
when you're on the other side of that door
do you turn around and think about me once more?

i look around this town
and see the places i've spent hours with you
it all started at that fairground
in our own little world
laughing until the sun goes down

and as i see these places
i find myself smiling
because there is nothing to do in this town
but we always manage
to make something out of nothing

and as long as i have you
i have everything
in this boring old town

"words can't say what love can do" - bon jovi

perhaps this is why
i can never find
the words to
describe you

i believe that music
can speak millions of words
when your own mind
fails to come up with any

it's been 9 months, love
a rollercoaster of emotions
but i wouldn't have it
any other way

i never thought i'd find someone
in this same old town
i love growing with you
i get to know you more and more

it’s hard to let something go when they’ve already taken it away from you

i hate feeling this way
but at least i’m still feeling something

nothing lasts forever, good or bad, so take in all the good, and don't sweat the bad

having dreams in your mind
leave you with daggers in your heart

wipe those tears from your eyes
or let your pillow do it for you
because either way they’ll just
keep
coming
back