This city has changed
People are strange, perceptions, deranged.
Its inhabitants stained, weak minded and frail.
broken hearts going stale.
Promiscuous minds wander the streets,
frivolity calls, idle minds weep.
Blazing past the anguish,
the glass persona of society creeps.
Selling soul, for a moment’s grace,
to shame that tattoos without a trace.
Withering away into another day,
humility sings songs of disgrace.
Ignorant and blind scurrying to find
a companion to vivify their lonely day.
Drowned in blood in alcohol, in mud,
stripped to the bone, they cry in vain.

Never was this the way it is.
A new face now hides the bliss.
The shadows are hollow, destitute is joy,
inhibition has blown it’s final kiss.
Dead by day, ***** by night,
used and abused in all their spite,
torn between what’s wrong and right.
Sin wreaks from their skin,
lust and avarice, the envy of hubris.
Lost in profanity, autonomous reality
still cursed and proud, still unknown.
Beats of madness and colors insane
rekindle debauchery, revive the pain.
Controlled by debt, everything is a borrowed lie.
Alive they are useless, life is a disease
living is horror, only death brings ease.

Hello mom, I know we haven't talked in a few years because I left without saying goodbye but I've been thinking of you a lot lately, I'm sorry I left in a hurry but I wasn't strong enough to stand there and vent my reasons without telling a lie and  I'm starting to regret it, well I dont know I might be. I saw my reflection in the window of a passing car and it reminded me of when you would make me stay home from school and lock me in the closet filled with mirrors after you would beat me and get too drunk to stand, I remember going to school after a morning when you'd turn up the heat on a faucet and place it over my hand, I used to wait in anticipation for when the skin would boil, bubble, peel, and fall. How could you think I'd forget about it all? Like when it would rain and I'd run outside light as feather, excited to swim in 30° weather when it was really you holding my face in a giant puddle filled with bugs that would slither out from the gutter runoff so can you blame me not being able to keep it together? I grew up with everything except love, every time I tried to chase the idea of it you would wrap plastic around my head but I was so small that I never realized it was just a rubber glove, I remember everything. I tried so hard, I even tried when I saw you crying one night after you got beat by some man I put my hand on your shoulder and said it'll be OK, you screamed then bent my wrist back and threw it in the blades of a moving fan, that's the real reason why I left and ran. I know I missed your funeral but I dont feel bad, I'm sitting in a hospital talking to specialists and they keep saying I just dont remember anything and that's what really makes me sad but its fine because when I get depressed, mad, or want to swallow a fist full of pills I just look at the scars you left on my legs when you pushed me into an oven when I was four. How can they say I dont remember anything when I can recall everything? I dont know but I'm writing this letter so I can clip it to the crime scene video they show me every day of your body parts washing up on shore near the old harbor, but I guess ill probably just forget until I see this note again so I'll have to repeat the same routine forever and force my brain through this mental labor.