i need to know
if i can ever let you go
let me know
if i will ever make it home

you are my addiction
the part that i'm missing
going through withdrawal
i can't keep it casual
with you i can't choose
with you it's lose-lose

can't live with you, can't live without
can't leave this hanging with no way out
i need closure for my toxic exposure
i want you closer but it's already over

what's left to say
what's the right way
my contradiction
my addiction

i'm falling for your smile again
i might die again, but that's not so bad
can we ever be more than friends
can you understand? i'm betting all i have
i might not be a super star
or own a supercar, but i'll try my best
i don't care about where we are
or how far, i'll put it to the test
bungee jumping off the golden gate
that's how i feel before a date
but there's no harm in trying
taking my very own leap of faith
sometimes i wish that's all it takes
and by the end i'll be flying

i won't be coming back
so please just make this one last
sometimes i can't stop my thoughts
sometimes i forget what i brought

stormy skies won't bring me pain
cause i'm too **** used to the rain
missed my train then missed my bus
twelve alarms just weren't enough
the world goes around while i go down
i'll hit the ground any time now

and when the clock stops ticking
and my eyes stop blinking
will the world be stopping too
and when the people stop moving
and their heads stop turning
will i be something too

will i be someone to somebody out there
to somebody who cares, to somebody somewhere
i wanna be remembered but i don't wanna stand out
always had a goal but it's never planned out
just running around for a little while
just running around, headless chicken style
what is life all about
what am i all about

i'd rather get missed calls
than get nothing at all
sipping tea on the balcony
thinking bout that night in albany
can't believe how much it rains
reminds me of the day before you came
keeping a place on my bed for you
keeping up the pace so i can catch up too
what are you up to? how are you doing?
i get the urge to call you every morning
but the mourning period is over
time for me to get sober
cause bottles are getting empty
and i'm beginning to feel the frenzy
tangled up in cords that keep me going on
why is your life so short and mine so long

i was lying on the grass, high off my ***
thinking bout the past, if this life will last
and all that jazz, wondering if i'm going too fast
still trying to figure it out, what my life's all about
the quarter life crisis, i might not be at my nicest
all my friends drive a hybrid but their lives looking vapid
i'm not one to talk, i'm jack with no beanstalk
no golden goose to lay me some eggs
while everyone else says break a leg
i never broke any eggs so i can't make an omelette
but i'm on it i promise. then i ran out of the office
can't deal with expectations, cause i'm still hesitating
so afraid of failure that i keep on failing
it's a ******* paradox. now where did i put my pair of socks?

Round and round, and back again
Living a dream that never ends
Waking up, shaping up
"Try your best" is not enough
The writings on the wall echo through the halls
I can't move forward without looking back
And sometimes I lose track, and forget how to act
Forget how to speak, forget how to write
So many things I just can't do right
All it takes is just some rhymes
But I can't keep half-assing every time
My own worst critic, my inputs are cryptic
But I just can't quit, I'm actually addicted
Took some time off to gather my thoughts
Watching raindrops, hoping that time'd stop
My dream state is where I cremate
All my failed ideas, left from all the years
I wanna write something new
But I just don't know what to do
One of these days I'll say "never again"
And all of this will come to an end

i walked down an empty road
it felt so free and open
i wondered why no one took it
but then the pavements were crooked
and i could see the flickering lights
turning the dust into a glimmering sight
i walked halfway only to realize something
that all these paths, they led to nothing
and i'm not the first to notice it
for all intents and purposes, there were red flags
i just didn't want to be dead last

i can understand
if you're not making plans
cause it's only autumn
it's the time for boredom

sun is coming down
i can't feel the ground
raindrops on my head
even on my bed

nothing i can't solve
it will soon dissolve
find a new solution
start a new discussion

turn off the alarm
stay here in my arms
if you need just call
walk you through it all

Waking up another day
Waiting for this month's pay
Hoping one day that I can say
All of this was worth the wait
Maybe then I'll be OK

This 9-5 is frying my mind
These Friday nights are my only lifeline
And down the pipeline are my pipe dreams
Back when life seemed just like a rainbow
Now the rain pours, where the pain goes
Now I just stay low, wait it all out
Wait out this drought, till I can shout

Money doesn't come for free
But **** I wish it came from trees
This ladder that I have to climb
It's all just a matter of time
Wondering when I'll finally strike gold
That'll be when I finally let go

is this what they call fate
and can it ever change
is that what they all say
the opinions stay the same
that bar just keeps on raising
and i'm shriveling up like raisins
been like that since the beginning
but by the end i hope i'm grinning
cause birds gotta leave their nests right
so i'm gonna live my best life
or drop like a deer in headlights
paralyzed in my dreams and nightlights

another night of overthinking
looking too deep for some meaning

i count the years that passed
and the years yet to come
mapping out the path
to the person i'll become

the life that i want
i can't hope to realize
running on 0s and 1s
and there's no compromise

all this pretense
just means to an end
one day i'll crack
and i can't go back

who is it you think you see?
is that the person i should be?
perfect lies to make a perfect life

i lost track of time
i lost count of days
i would say i'm fine
but i'm in a haze
day in and day out
i already know
how it all plays out
nowhere left to go
boredom on my mind
i can't stay in line
i can't keep this up
i just had enough
need a little change
life can't stay the same

i want to remember dreams
but they just flow away
like water in a stream
to a bigger place

at the back of my mind
all the things i've buried
left to the winds of time
landfill of memories

do you remember me
from way back when
you used to know my name
and we used to be friends

it's all gone now
nothing's left behind
i don't know how
but you're out of my mind

memories that make me
that i can't recall
where will life take me
is it down a fall

i never left breadcrumbs
now i can't go back
the person i've become
doesn't remember the past

i just keep running away
i don't know when to stay
no this is not my stop
no i will not get off

lonely is the wanderer
roaming this wonderful
wonderful world
to forget someone's girl

whatever i'm looking for
i won't get it here
maybe less is really more
is it as simple as it appears

the butterflies all flew away
broke out of their coccoons
now they're all free to play
but in the corner of this room
sits a lonely caterpillar
wishing he could be someone bigger
i know how you feel little man
you're the same as me, doing whatever you can
only difference is you know where you are
where you're going, you know how far
how long till your days end
how long till you join all your friends
maybe you don't know, maybe you don't care
wish i could afford the luxury to be here and there
wish i knew exactly how i will turn out
wish i knew exactly what my life is about
a simple goal, a simple road
just one destination for me to go
must be so nice to have wings and fly
too bad we can't all be butterflies

call me when you get this
you don't wanna miss it
you don't wanna wait too long
they're playing your favorite song
can you wake up when you hear my call
i'll be waiting until next fall

I don't like what I see when I wake up
Connecting my thoughts but they just break up
Every step's a compromise, telling perfect lies
But you know that I can't pull a wool over your eyes

GPS is gone, I gotta find my way
Can't get lost in what the voices say
Afraid of tomorrow and missing yesterday
Drowning in sorrow, I already hate today

I can't do it anymore, I can't open the door
Losing my center, lost sight of my core
Wasting my time looking back on days of yore
Looking for something that's still in store
Walking these aisles felt like a mile
Hanging on like a WinRAR trial
Why can't I let it go? Why can't I take it slow
Down a slippery ***** and it's getting cold
Watching people take my place, and thinking that's okay
I guess I'm just complacent, with nothing else to say

Watch your mouth, don't let it come out
Don't let them know what you're all about
Next thing you know they're gonna drown your shout
This is one hurdle you can't walk around
How are you gonna find your way out now

GPS is gone, I gotta find my way
Can't get lost in what the voices say
Afraid of tomorrow and missing yesterday
Drowning in sorrow, I already hate today

let's just take a minute
and try to slow it down
before i let you finish
i wanna take a bow
let's just have a toast
we made it this far
i'm not one to boast
but i think we're on mars
imagine if i quit back then
repeating the past again
imagine if i didn't try
i wouldn't be able to fly
got a lot to thank for
i'll be here for the encore
we endured, now let's enjoy
**** it, make some noise

so i'm patiently waiting
for a single notification
a sign of a chance
that it's not over yet
i can't divert my glance
i'm afraid that i'll lose this bet
it's getting to my head
and i know i might be wrong
but one misstep and then i'm gone
maybe my mistake was at the start
all the million other parts
of the puzzle i need to solve
god i feel like i'll dissolve
it's confusing and exciting
finally i'm struck by lightning

when i was a kid, i wanted to be superman
i was a super fan, to all the caped crusaders
to all my childhood saviors, wish i had them back
always hung up on the past, stuck on what i lack
that's a bad thing i bet, i guess i need to get
over it. first place's overrated
do i need to go places to really live
i feel relieved just lounging
i don't mind that i'm frowning
my achievements were never crowning
i'm just clowning and that's fine
i guess there's always time

Ain't no feeling like the holidays
A perfect winter getaway
When you don't wanna leave
and just wanna stay
And a cup of hot cocoa
And the heat of the stove
Ain't that feeling grand

On this cold winter hue
I'll write a cold winter blues
Something for me and you
Come let us heat up the room
Just you and me
Just you and me
Right by the Christmas tree

did you check the time?
it must have slipped your mind
you went home so late
look at these cold plates
bet you think i wouldn't notice
bet you think you could control this
i don't like it when you lie to me
when you said that you would die for me

we haven't been the same
it's been years since you called my name
at least not in the way you used to
is it bad if i'm still thinking 'bout you

you're my ghost
you've been haunting my home
when i'm all alone
i still feel your cold

i've been drinking too much
i've been getting ****** up
been thinking way too much lately
been so long since i had a good night's sleep

lost in the memories of us two
dreaming 'bout the things we used to do
i'm in a slump without my muse
but trying to get out is just no use

you're my ghost
you've been haunting my home
when i'm all alone
i still feel your cold

cold inside this heart of mine
brain's on fire but not alive
just one night would be alright
why haven't i killed the lights

it's a concept
it only works on paper
a beautiful mess
cleaning's saved for later

looking through the photos
reading through my memos
where did all the time go
back when all the lights glowed

sometimes nothing
could turn into something new
but i'm still hunting
and i won't find it in you

i won't be your prom date
cause i will break that promise
but i'm still up at home late
cause i was never honest

i'm just the same as all of you
yet i can't see from your point of view
been awhile since i felt the ground
been awhile since i heard a sound
a grumbling, a noise, somebody's voice
something to pull me out of the void
awake and asleep, awake and asleep
sometimes it's shallow, sometimes it's deep
waking up's the worst part
the same as a restart
heaven or hell, heaven or hell
just ask my brain cells
need another hit, i'm addicted
i need to feel lifted
to really feel like i'm living
like a human being

or at least halfway there
it's the truth laid bare
whatever, i don't care
i was always taught to share
but some things i should keep to myself
wrote this out to read to myself
love letters to myself cause i got nobody else
there's no one left, no more steps
guess no one's right, you're all out of your depth
i can't get you so why would you try
it's only right i'm hung out to dry
i'm just venting, i'm just lamenting
so my thoughts might be offending
but let it be known these words i'm sending
can always be worse, you heard it from me first
maybe this will help me find some purpose
stop feeling useless and be a little selfish
hopefully i can stop acting so helpless

i always have to guess what comes next
i always try my best then end up with less
the less you expect the less the stress
chances to correct your mess and rest
a messy head and a messy bed
paint the room a depressing red
dread is a part of my culture shock
can't get far before those vultures knock
poltergeists they haunt my nights
don't need to fight, they're gone, i'm alright

i'm not a person
i'm your friend
keep holding me back
but it'll never end

i'm not a person
i'm your friend
keep shutting me out
i'll come back again

you wanted me gone
you wanna move on
but it never goes away
you want me to go
but i'll be here till you're old
at least that's what you say

i have no offers
no demands
please just hear me out
and understand

i'm not the problem
got no plans
but you know that all this
got way out of hand

you thought i was gone
you thought you moved on
but here i am today
erase what you know
and learn how to cope
cause i am here to stay

i wanna feel safe, i wanna feel whole
but some of these days i just lose control
is the version of a person i envisioned
my own desire or just another mission
in a doomed operation, in a doomed war
in a doomed campaign, never made it far
or not far enough, i didn't do much
i can't even gain my own trust
so that made me too indecisive
always feeling like i'm in a crisis
self doubt's a hole i'm too dug into
i'm this close to breaking in two
in the end, what am i supposed to do
if i can't decide for myself
how can i confide in you

chase you to the ends of the earth
just to show you what i'm worth
if only we could just stay
but it's so hard to meet halfway
it feels so bad when we're apart
wish you were here from the start
just stay with me, be with me
if only it were that easy
all the things we could've done
if our chances hadn't stopped at one
now we're miles away, you're yesterday
while i'm today, i don't wanna wait
if i could fly a plane, i'd be there right away
keep a place for me, keep waiting for me. okay?

once upon a time i had a dream
of going places i've never been
somehow it all went with the wind
not now not then, i'll never win
i'm still chasing this runaway train
hoping one day it'll erase the pain
the pain of failure, of knowing i've lost
but i'm not really sure if i know the cost
i forgot how it feels to be on cloud 9
i forgot how it feels to just free my mind
just give it time, that's what they all say
this is a game, that's what they all play
and all day all night we pray to God
and fight to keep all that we got
why is it so hard to get what we want
why do we fight to be number one

but we do it anyway, yeah we do it everyday
and we'll trade what we can trade, everything for better days
it's insane to run away, it's insane to hide my face
yeah we're all used to it, yeah we're not new to it
it's a struggle but it's life and it won't always be nice
but all we got are dreams and dream is what we'll do
it's ups and downs, it's wins and losses
and by the end, we'll be our own bosses

you were in my dreams
caught in tractor beams
i don't know what it means
i can't tell lately
my answer's maybe
maybe i'm insane
do you feel the same

how do i describe
the things in my mind
or is it my heart
oh, how do i start

i wasn't prepared
part of me's scared
to be out in the blue
to be something new

and so i have changed
broken from the frame
where do i begin
starting from my dreams

The sun shines a flickering light
Will I still be standing when the wind comes blowing
Will I be gone with the flowers of yesterday
Darkness lies towards me
A pixelated future, nothing I can see
Trying to hold on to my dreams
But it flows away like water
Stood in front of the sky, a spirit opens a path
Though cold, empty, it's better than the aftermath

The night welcomes me with its soft embrace
The morning shines on my eyes
With its blazing gleam
Is this real, is this a dream?
I rub my face, hoping to wake up
Time's dripping ever so slowly
Dancing around me
Like some ****** up ballet

In front of me is the final pain
One more step then into the grave
Barren, yet so bright
Casting aside all my frights
Guiding me towards solace
Leading me away from the surface
I lay my head down, under the covers
I won't be awake for another

i can't run if i don't have the energy
it's no fun if you straight up just answer me
i'd thank you but i know that you won't notice me
so thank god for me, thank god for me
i can't lie if i don't know what's my truth
i can't try if i don't have something to prove
i'll win but i know i still have something to lose
so thank god for me, thank god for me

ever wonder why it rains when you cry
ever wonder why it shines when you smile
i guess this world changes for you
i should know cause i do too

Is there something I could've done
Is there anyway I could've won
To change the results
Was it ever my fault
So close yet so far
So close to unlocking the door
To that place we'd always dreamed of
To that place we call could have

But now I fall apart
Shards of glass inside my heart
Deep in my core
Oh, I'd never felt this before
Deep in my core
So once again, I fall apart

Did you think this was a game
You fooled me twice and I took all the shame
You never said hello, only goodbye
And left me wondering why
Wished I could go on
But really I just wanna be gone
From you and from this place
And that's just great
You be you, I'll be me
At least now I'm free

they say life is a highway
that way or my way
where it ends i can't say
that depends on the places
the places i'll be
and faces i'll meet
the names that i'll greet
and friends that i'll keep
but how many will leave
and how many are left

will you follow me
to where this life ends
when i'm on my knees
will you hold my hand
will i get to see
flowers on my grave
a familiar face

cause at the end of the day
when i'm gone, far away
and you're left here to stay
will you hold on to me
like a sweet memory
will i make you laugh
or just make you cry
be the tears in your eyes
will that be too much
or just enough

i'm scared of the future
of opening my wounds
tearing up my sutures
of what's coming soon
of anything i don't know
can't tell where i should go
how long will this last?
am i going too fast?
the pacing of the show

if i think too hard i'll just freeze
and get pushed down by a single breeze
i don't have enough people who believe
such a short list that it doesn't include me
wish i could just run and be free
but nothing's that easy
afraid that this plane won't take off
too many tails to shake off
and i don't have insurance
so i choose avoidance
every time and always
until i run out of ways to say
sorry, not today.

it was the last days of high
we were busy saying good bye
all the laughs and tears
looking back on our 3 years

time felt so slow then
but it's so fast now
if i did it again
i would still not know how

how do i step up
the shivers just creep up
never was good at confessions
never was the one to show affection

i never really learned
it's still a slow burn
another love song for another day
i put it on loop, i'll just let it play

this is the greatest time of my life
and there's nowhere i'd rather be
one day i'll look back on the highlights
and miss when i was free

when i wake up in the night
arm reaching for the light
i think of where i'll be
but i don't want to see

too many choices, but not enough time
i think i'm losing my mind
each one could be the worst of them all
my mental powerball

sometimes i think i try way too hard
when there's nothing i can do
i like to think that i can still restart
but there's too much to lose

i'm reading from scattered notes
cause they're the closest thing i have to hope
i wanna be strong enough
cause i know this road'll be tough
i want to hold on and not let go
but if i do my roots won't grow
i wanna leave and be set free
but i don't know what will happen to me
staying the same feels safe
but i haven't really got out of my cave
if i take a shot in the dark
maybe i can reach for the stars
and then i'll be out of here
if only i can lose my fears

everybody wants to feel good
everybody says that they would
but sometimes life just doesn't play nice
and all they do is complain they don't get treated right
what happens when you run out of people to blame
what happens when you run out of hearts in this game
hate to be caught in a hall of mirrors
hate to be caught where your exterior is inferior
when you know your interior is superior
or to be more exact, you think that you're better than this
you think that you're worth it, you think you deserve it
but do you really if you don't work for it
not everyone understands what it is to feel like you can't
to feel like everything in the world is out of your hands
feeling like whatever you do won't amount to anything
when all you have to lose is everything
what's the goal? a wedding ring or a home?
or a six figure job? would that make you feel whole?
guess you'll never know. you'll never realize until you grow old.

hello, computer
how does it feel
when everything's real
is it the future
or still the past
and will this last

the monotony changed
things are not the same
my plain and simple ways
seemed to have gone away

what is left
and what is right
what is dark
and what is light

the more i think
the less i know
it seemed so simple
oh, so long ago

it's harder to dream lately
i'm so caught up with reality
that i can't imagine like i used to
i guess part of me just refused to
let myself take it easy or relax
like it's just gonna hold me back
i guess i'm just bored and dead
with nothing going on in my head
i need more distractions
before these thoughts gain traction
then it'll be ******* bad
cause by then i can't go back

oh look at that, it's already 3am
and i have no idea where i am
i just drank how many shots
and now i'm ******* lost
i've been to how many bars
and is this even my car
it's all a blur in my head
now the curb can be my bed
i miss that comfy feeling of a home
in my humble abode, being alone
i feel quite free, with no one but me
if only that life was easy
now i'd rather spend nights
hiding from the light
avoiding any fights
relationship's a drag
i got enough in my bag
check the ones under my eyes
i wish my shadow was more my size
i wish this smile wasn't a disguise
i already know the why of my conflict
i need to find the how,
i think i'm ready for it to end now

what am i doing on a saturday
nothing just hoping these clouds would go away
what a waste of time, being bored out of my mind
summer was supposed to let me unwind
but now i just want to rewind
at least that'll be something to do
at least that'll get my mind off you

i kept dreaming about that day
when i could finally stand up and say
hey world i made it to the top
then at that moment i dropped
and woke up to the cold hard reality
that it was all just a fantasy
everything was still up in the clouds
and i'm still here living in the now
never mind what i have in mind
i'm just wondering if i'll make it in time
how late is too late? how soon is too soon?
won't be long 'till my life reaches its afternoon
i got no other options than to live 'till i die
i need to give it my best shot and try
nothing to choose from, nothing to lose
i want to be somebody, i just don't know who
life won't give all the clues, it's not so kind
i guess i'll just risk it and go in blind

there are things i never got to do
there are feelings that never got through
words i never really got to say
places where i wish i could stay
i know good things were never meant to last
but i wish they didn't go so fast

sometimes i wish i knew where you are
so i could run straight back into your arms
but life always had other plans
and it's always out of my hands
and i'm trying to find, trying to find
some gravity
but right now i feel so blind, so blind
to reality

i'm so sorry
i never meant to make you worry
i just had no clue what to do
i never had someone like you
to be the anchor for my boat
to be the basis for my hope
all the promises that i've made
never should've turned to heartbreak
and i messed up along the road
now i'm trying to find my way home

This idea of a home doesn't match what I know
It's clear in my soul that I need to go
Changing is hard but the pain's the same
I won't get far looking for something to blame
The world don't know, the world won't show
Where is my home? Where is my home?

What if I stay for a couple more days
What would you say 'fore I go away
What would you do? What would you lose?
I don't know you, I don't know me
I just can't seem to find my peace
If I go back, back to my past
Can I make it another lap?
Just let me know, please let me know
What is a home? Where is my home?

Something got in my throat
Got something to say but can't
Don't tell me
I'm falling for you again

You got me bad, girl
You really got me bad
I wanna get you back
Gonna get you back

There's something about your eyes
That got me in a daze
It's like I'm in a haze
When we are face to face

Don't you know
There's no limit to where I can go

You got me bad, girl
You really got me bad
I wanna get you back
Gonna get you back

Sometimes my hands are shaking
Feels like my heart is breaking
Waiting for your call
What else can I do
When all I want is you

You got me bad, girl
You really got me bad
I wanna get you back
Gonna get you back

Gonna get you back, yeah
Gonna get you back
Honey, I'll be back
Don't worry I'll be back

i miss you
and for now that's all
i can do
hate to spend another fall
feeling blue

running around, at the speed of sound
hoping to find what hasn't been found
knocking on your door, but no one's home
nothing but the floor, where's the garden gnome
since you've been gone, i've been filling holes
but they keep being dug and i end up alone
if i see you again, what would i say
if i go back, can i prevent that day
is there even another way, another route
maybe i should stop trying to find a way out